Pretty Boy: Reprise
by Wagamama Hime
Summary: Six months after the 'Judgment Maker' case, and Derek Morgan's advice that they needed 'time' apart, Spencer is tired of waiting. He may not have everything figured out, but one thing he IS sure about are his feelings for the Agent. So, Spencer comes to visit Derek in D.C. Will Derek be able to give Spencer what he wants or is his idea of 'happily ever after' just a fantasy? Sequel
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. It is the sole intellectual property of the CBS Corp. This is a work of fiction and I am making no profit from its publication.**

A/N: Hello, everyone! And welcome to Pretty Boy, Part Two! Or, what happens after Derek leaves Spencer in Vegas. You didn't think Spencer would just let it go, did you? ;p This story will be different from the first part in that the drama/angst will focus more on that which stems from trying to establish a relationship. It won't be anything like a sketchy Unsub lurking in the shadows, haha. But, I hope you will enjoy it just as much! As for setting, this story takes place about 6 months after the events in Pretty Boy (during the winter Holidays) and is set in Virginia/D.C.

And welcome to anyone who's 'new' to this series as well! I would say you should probably read the _original_ to get an idea of what's going on, but, hey, that's up to you! I explain a little bit of the events from the first story, but I don't go into very much detail. You could totally read this as a 'hook-up' story if you want to skip the original, but I think you might be a bit lost. And for those of you who have come back to me after our first romp, welcome to you as well! I hope I didn't take so long that you'll need to re-read the original as a refresher! (But, by all means, please do if you'd like to :3)

Lastly, I decided to take a chance and post this story here, even though it technically has an _explicit_ rating because some people expressed not being able to go to (or not being able to navigate) AO3. With that said, though, please, be dolls and don't narc on me, lol. I don't think there's anything SO intense in this fic to warrant reporting me, but if you do feel that way, send me a message first and I'll remove the story u_u. **G** **eneral** warnings for the entire story include: SEX (male-male); coarse language; and references to past abuse. I have no intention of warning for every chapter, so, obviously, **read at your own risk**.

And a super shout-out to my new beta-buddy, A_WarriorZ_Haven!

So, off we go! I hope you all enjoy it! Let me know your thoughts!

Xoxo

* * *

Derek Morgan set down his freshly-refilled cup of coffee, before pulling out his chair and taking a seat in front of his desk. He reached over to start on the next case he needed to work up and stopped for a moment, staring at his pile. When he had gotten up for more coffee, he could've sworn there were only five files left there. Now there were definitely eight.

With an unimpressed look, he glanced across the top of his desk and stared at the bowed head of Emily Prentiss, who was sitting at the desk opposite his. The brunette didn't flinch as she worked studiously on the open case in front of her. Derek continued to stare, and after a few more minutes Emily slammed her hands on her desk and looked up at him.

"Fine, fine! Don't death-glare me," she said, with exasperation, as she held her open hand out to him, expectantly.

"Don't go slipping extra files into my pile," Derek teased as he grinned at her and handed the extras back to her.

When the thick pile landed in her hand, Emily looked at them with confusion.

"Hey! I only gave you three extra files, why do I suddenly have _five_ now?" she asked.

"That's the tax you pay for trying to get one over on me, Prentiss," Derek said as he winked at her.

Emily just rolled her eyes but kept her complaining to herself.

Chuckling at his victory, Derek leaned back and happily took a sip of his coffee. The last few months had been quite hectic at the Bureau. After the difficult time they had in Vegas chasing Adrian Moore, better known as 'the Judgment Maker'—an obsessive and delusional, morality-driven Unsub—the team had come back and tackled almost twenty more suspects. Among the most notable had been six serial killers, two serial rapists, a domestic terrorist group, and a slew of kidnappers and spree killers. It had been more than anyone had wanted to deal with.

But now that the Holidays were approaching, the higher-ups were making a concerted effort to reduce the number of cases they were assigning. Of course, no one could stop emergency, or time-sensitive, cases that popped up now and then, so there was always the possibility they could be called away at any moment. But it was a nice gesture that they were going to be given a break for the holidays, at least in theory.

And Derek was definitely looking forward to his holiday plans. He was going to take off two full weeks. He intended to spend at least half that time visiting his mother and his sisters in Chicago, and wasn't yet sure if he wanted to dedicate the rest of it to a staycation and renovating houses, or if he just wanted to get on a plane and escape somewhere. It would be a nice change of pace, since Derek really hadn't had any time to himself since Vegas. But, there were definitely pros and cons to having 'time' to oneself. While he had kept himself busy with work and chasing Unsubs over the past few months, he wasn't sure what topics his thoughts would wander to once he had nothing to distract himself with. And there was one particular topic he had been trying very hard to keep out of his mind.

The ringing of his phone drew him out of his mini coffee-break and he placed the mug down on the desk as he leaned forward to lift the phone off the receiver.

"Derek Morgan," he answered.

"H-hey Agent Morgan… uh… Derek," he heard a familiar, hesitant voice say.

Derek's eyes widened. It was _Spencer Reid_.

It had been almost six months since he had last seen Spencer. The thought of the boy, and especially the last moments they spent together, hot and sated, curled up next to each other in Spencer's bed, sent a rush of emotions through Derek and caused his face to flush. He really hadn't expected to hear from the boy ever again.

After Spencer had called Derek, upon finding out the older man had engineered a $100,000 windfall for him, the boy had only followed up with him once, via email. A few weeks after receiving that phone call, Derek walked into work one morning and an email was waiting in his inbox. In it, Spencer had explained that, just days after he had spoken to Derek on the phone, he had quit his job at _Mon Petit Chien—_ the strip club he had been working at when Derek first met him. Then, a few weeks after that, he had managed to become readmitted to his bachelor's degree program, on full-scholarship, and the professors had pulled some strings so that he would be able to start at the beginning of the fall semester. Which also happened to be the day that Spencer was writing Derek.

Spencer's email had gone on to effusively thank Derek, again, for all his help. And when he was done, he had signed it 'With love, Spencer Reid.' Derek had lingered on the term of endearment—probably far longer than he should have—wondering if he should read anything into it. But Spencer was quirky and always said and did things that others tended to misunderstand. So, Derek had not allowed himself to get his hopes up. Instead, he had written back that he was happy to hear things were working out so well for him and he wished Spencer all the best. _He_ had signed his, 'Sincerely, Agent Morgan.' And he hadn't heard anything from Spencer Reid after that. Until now…

"Hey, kid! How're you doing?" Derek asked in a quiet voice, genuinely happy to hear from him, but suddenly concerned about his colleagues overhearing him.

"I'm good!" Spencer said, his voice sounding chipper and excited. "School's been going great and I really… well, I love being back here. I didn't know how much I missed it but… and don't call me a _nerd_ … but, I just really love learning."

Derek laughed warmly.

"I wouldn't dare call you a nerd. You're probably the smartest person I know. So, if you think something's fun to learn, it most likely is," Derek said.

Spencer didn't respond, and Derek could just imagine the kid blushing in embarrassment at the praise he was receiving.

"So, would I be correct in assuming you're getting straight A's over there? Kicking ass and taking names?" Derek asked, teasingly.

He heard Spencer laugh lightly.

"Well, I wouldn't say _that_ , but… yes, I'm getting A's," Spencer said humbly.

"I wouldn't expect any less than that from you, kid," Derek said, fondly.

"So, to what do I owe the honor of getting a call from Spencer Reid?" Derek asked with a smile. He almost kicked himself when he saw Emily's head shoot up and she turned to glance at him curiously. She tried to mouth a question at him, but he turned away from her, pointedly telling her to butt-out.

"Well… the semester's coming to an end, and I've got winter break coming up…" Spencer trailed off.

"Yeah, ok?" Derek asked, as he absentmindedly twirled a pen between his fingers.

"Um… So, I was thinking I really want to take a trip to D.C. You know, they have so many great museums, and all this research going on down there… I think being able to see all that could be really interesting," Spencer said, rushing his words.

"That sounds great, kid. I think you'd have a good time down here," Derek said.

"Well… I don't know anyone there, so I was wondering if I come by…um… do you think you could show me around…? Maybe? Y-you know, if you're not too busy with work, of course," Spencer asked.

Derek blinked in surprise, but then smiled.

"Sure, that sounds great! I know some great places around here," he said, already getting excited about taking Spencer around and helping the kid loosen up. From what he knew about Spencer, the boy barely ever went out and let himself just have 'fun.' Derek knew that Spencer would have a good time if he spent his vacation with him.

"Really?" Spencer asked, the lilt in his voice reflecting how happy he was. "Thanks! That'll be a big help."

"No problem. Where will you be staying?" Derek asked.

"Um… I'm not sure yet. I guess just at some local hotel," Spencer mumbled.

Derek frowned.

"Spencer, I know money's probably tight for you, especially now that you're a college student again. I don't want you wasting it on paying for an expensive D.C. hotel," Derek said.

Spencer was silent on his end of the phone. Derek could already imagine that the boy was probably nibbling on his bottom lip. Then Derek had an idea.

"Look, why don't you just stay with _me_? I've got a few weeks off from work coming up, so it wouldn't be any kind of inconvenience. Besides, I'd prefer you stay with someone you know than be all by yourself in a city you've never been to," Derek explained.

"Wh-what? Are you for real?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah, why not? I've got an extra bedroom, so there's more than enough room for you. And I think it'll be a lot of fun," Derek said with a smile.

"Wow… Ok! Yeah, that sounds really good. That sounds perfect, actually!" Spencer said, sounding excited. Derek's smile grew wider hearing the eagerness in the boy's voice. He wished he could see Spencer's face right now.

"Great, so just let me know the dates and everything and we'll make a plan," he told him.

"Ok, sure! I'll send you an email. Thanks again… Derek," Spencer said.

Derek smiled to himself as he heard Spencer hang up the phone.

When he turned back to his desk, he was met with the inquisitive eyes of Emily Prentiss.

"What was _that_ all about? Did you say _Spencer_? How's he doing?" Emily asked, eyes bright with excitement.

Derek sighed to himself. He didn't think he could lie to her about who had been on the other end of the line. It had been pretty apparent. But, for some reason, he felt reluctant to _share_ with her. Even though the whole team had worked on the case, he felt that there was something special about his relationship with Spencer. He didn't necessarily want to let anyone else in on it.

" _Morgan_?" she persisted, eyebrow arched in confusion.

"Yeah… that was Spencer," he said.

"Ok… So, is everything alright with him?" she asked, now sounding concerned.

"Yeah, he's great. He was just telling me about school and stuff like that," he told her.

" _School_?" she asked, perking up. "He was able to go back to school? That's so _great_! I wonder how he managed that."

"Um… his situation changed a bit after we left so he was able to quit working at the club," Derek said, feeling somewhat hesitant. Looking back on it, it had probably been extremely unconscionable for him to have threatened Danny Wallace into giving Spencer that money. Especially seeing as he was a federal agent. So Derek was going to be as vague as possible when it came to the details.

Emily's eyes widened.

"Oh my God, that's so wonderful for him," she said, looking genuinely delighted.

She then tilted her head and looked at him curiously.

"But… did he tell you all that just now in that short conversation or… have you guys been keeping in _touch_?" she asked with a smirk.

Derek flushed, not quite sure what her smirk was meant to imply.

"He got in touch with me a few weeks after the case and told me he had re-enrolled in school," Derek said as he closed the case file in front of him with a bit more force than he had intended. "I haven't spoken to him for _months_ since then."

Emily shrugged her shoulders as she sat back, sensing Derek's obvious annoyance.

"Ok… Well, it's nice that he thought to update you. So what'd he call to talk about _today_ then _?"_ she asked.

Derek glanced at her, wishing she would end her line of questioning, and feeling like just telling her it really wasn't any of her business. But he knew Emily Prentiss well. The more evasive he was, the more she would push. And if she was forced to push she'd likely get more out of him than he'd want to divulge.

"He… told me he was thinking of visiting D.C. over his winter break," he said.

"Oh, that's a really good idea. Spencer's such a curious kid, it'd be good for him to broaden his horizons a little and see new places," Emily said as she nodded.

Derek sighed in relief as he re-opened his file, assuming the conversation was over.

"And I can't wait to tell J.J. She'll be so excited. She's been so worried about him since we left," Emily mentioned.

Derek froze.

"Uh… Wait. Just hold off on telling the others about this for now, ok?" he said.

Emily's brows furrowed in confusion.

" _Why_?" she asked.

"Well… I mean, there's no telling if everything'll work out as planned. He _is_ a student. Things could always pop up last minute. You know? Let's just wait until he's really finalized things and actually booked a flight before we go broadcasting it. Don't want to get anyone's hopes up just yet, you know?" Derek said.

Emily stared at him for a second, eyebrow arched inquisitively, as she considered his words.

"Huh. Ok. I guess that makes sense. J.J. would probably be really disappointed if we told her he was coming and then he ultimately had to back out. So… I guess I'll hold off for the time being. But, just keep me posted, ok?" she asked.

"Sure thing," Derek mumbled as his eyes dropped back down to his file.

He could feel Emily's eyes lingering on him and he thought, for a second, she even seemed as if she wanted to ask him another question. But then he heard the rustling of papers on her desk, and he let out a sigh of relief as she went back to working on her case write-up.

Now, left to his own thoughts, Derek's mind quickly strayed from the report he was supposed to be working on. He was beyond excited that Spencer was going to be visiting. But, it bothered him that he wanted so badly to keep the boy's visit a secret from his colleagues. It almost seemed as if he wanted to keep _Spencer_ all to himself. Even Derek had to admit that that didn't really make sense if he was actually 'over' the boy, like he thought he was. Derek had told Spencer to put him out of his mind, take some time and distance and 'think' about what he wanted, in the hope that the boy would come to his senses and see that he didn't really want what he had professed to want. But Derek hadn't seemed to be able to follow his _own_ advice.

After returning from Vegas, Derek had spent more time thinking of Spencer Reid than he was proud of. Spencer's eyes, the smell of his hair, the way his face scrunched up when he was annoyed… it was relentless, _and_ distracting. But, being back home had been sobering as well. Once the stark reality of their situation, and the lines he had allowed himself to cross, had sunk in, the other thing Derek had found himself thinking about, at length, was that it would be better if Spencer just forgot about him. Not… forget that they had ever _met_. No, the way he had been able to get Spencer to trust him, rely on him, and open up to him would always be a proud moment in his life. But, he wanted Spencer to forget that he had thought he wanted to 'be' with Derek. Derek couldn't shake the feeling that, if the situation was different, Spencer would never have fallen for him.

Spencer had filled his mind for weeks, but with the distance, Derek had convinced himself that it was merely infatuation. He _had_ to. He couldn't see how, in reality, anything could really work between them. And that had allowed him to throw himself back into his work—concentrate, and work on making Spencer a memory. He didn't want to think about why his heart had sped up a few moments ago when he heard Spencer's soft and hesitant voice on the phone, or how his mind had had no trouble flooding his thoughts with images of Spencer moaning and gasping as he kissed and touched him. He didn't want to think about how hard this would be on him to have to see the kid again, knowing that there wasn't going to be anything between them. Derek needed to give Spencer a chance to be normal, and he was going to start that off with letting the boy enjoy his winter break.

So, putting out of his mind the thoughts of what Spencer's visit would mean for him—or what it would do to him to have the kid here, and then have to say goodbye to him yet _again_ —he began to think about all the things he would plan for the boy's visit.

He couldn't wait to see the kid.

* * *

When Spencer hung up the phone, he was giddy with excitement. That conversation had gone a lot better than he had planned. Well, he hadn't had any real 'plan,' actually. He had been struggling to hold himself back for months, trying not to call 'Supervisory Special Agent' Derek Morgan. But he had just confirmed his winter break schedule and the first thing that crossed his mind was that he wanted to see Derek—badly. But Spencer didn't know exactly _what_ he wanted from Derek, or why he wanted to see the man, at all.

Thinking back to the last time he had seen Derek, Spencer remembered how hurt he had been when he woke up that morning, months ago, and saw that Derek had left him without even a word of goodbye. On one hand, he understood why. Knowing himself, and the emotional place he was in at that moment, Spencer was sure he would have cried like a baby if Derek had tried to say goodbye. But, it was still a painful shock to wake up the night after having done _that_ with the other man and find that he was all alone.

He had tried to convince himself of the truth of Derek's words from the night before—that the man said he cared about him, and that he _wanted_ him, but for the moment, it was best for them to have some space. So, Spencer had fought the urge to call Derek moments after he had woken up, assuming the older man was already on a plane headed back to Virginia. He figured that was the _mature_ thing to do. But it didn't do anything to help the heavy feeling that hung on his heart.

As soon as he woke up he had felt the emptiness left behind by Derek's absence. He _missed_ him. His days had been full with the man's broad smile and his hearty chuckle. But there also were moments when Derek looked so mad at him, when he did something reckless, that he looked like he wanted to shake some sense into him. But, he liked that too. He liked knowing that there was someone around who thought he mattered enough to even _bother_ getting mad when he did something stupid. Spencer loved the way the older man's dark brown eyes would flash with whatever emotion he was feeling. And he just loved Derek's good-naturedness. Derek talked _to_ him—never _at_ him, and definitely never _down_ to him—and he cared about him. Derek had been the only good thing that had happened to Spencer in _years_.

He had made Spencer _feel_ things that he just didn't know how to deal with. And his absence left a big void—bigger than Spencer wanted to admit to himself. So that morning when he got up, feeling empty and saddened, he had no idea what his future was going to look like. Derek had been a burst of sunlight, and now with him gone, things looked drearier than they ever had before. And when he went to look at himself in the mirror, cringing at the ugly bruise around his sore neck, Spencer was even more convinced that things could never be the same—that he couldn't just 'go back to the way things were.' The bruise was a stark reminder of what this life had led him to. And just _thinking_ about Adrian Moore sent shivers of terror down his spine. He didn't know how soon—or, if ever—the image of the enraged man, looming over him as he tried to squeeze the life out of him, would go away.

He hadn't thought he would have it in him to go to work later that day, especially since he knew many of his coworkers had seen him get wheeled out on a stretcher the night before. They probably would have been able to piece it together by that point that he was, in some way, involved with the man the FBI had had to lethally take down inside the large mansion. He didn't think there was any way he could cover up the bruising on his neck and he didn't want to have to explain to them, in detail, what had happened.

So he was more than relieved when he had received a call from Lindy Roth, his manager, about an hour after he woke up. The woman's voice had been shaky, as if she was on the verge of tears, as she told him how shocked she was that Adrian Moore, one of the club's investors, had been the person responsible for the slew of killings. Spencer wondered if maybe she was close to the man, but her voice sounded more horrified than morose. She had gone on to tell him that she understood he must have gone through something really terrible and that he didn't have to come into work that day. She also said that he was still going to be paid for the night, even though the party had had to be cut short. Spencer couldn't deny that he was surprised by Lindy's contrition and generosity. The woman had been less than kind to him over the past days, her actions bordering on malicious, more often than not. So he couldn't help but to be suspicious and wonder, briefly, if maybe she felt guilty for some reason. But while he didn't quite trust her, he wasn't going to jinx himself by asking any questions, and he had politely thanked her before hanging up.

After that, and knowing that he would be left to his own thoughts all day, that stifling feeling had returned to his chest as he began to think about Derek again. He hated the thought of being alone in his apartment; things still felt so strange since he hadn't been back there in two nights because of the ever-present threat of Adrian Moore. And with all the confusion and discontent he was feeling, all he really felt like he wanted to do was go see his mother. But, he didn't want her to see him like this—a mopey, disheveled mess. And if he showed up there in a turtleneck—which was about all he could probably do to cover up his bruises— when it was summer in Vegas, she would definitely have questions. So he had done the only thing he could think of—he had called. Bennington didn't usually allow the patients to take personal phone calls outside of firmly delineated hours, but they knew Spencer so well that one of the nurses had conceded and brought a phone over to Diana's room.

And when his mother picked up, that was when he really _had_ started crying. Diana Reid had been shocked by her son's reaction, but she quickly adapted. Remembering back to her supportive words, and thankful that he had caught her on a 'good day,' Spencer knew it had been the right decision to call her:

" _Spencer, Spencer… Baby, what's wrong? Calm down," Diana said in a soothing voice._

" _M-mom… I just… I can't deal with all of this. Why does everything… why does everything always go so wrong?" he asked her, sure he wasn't making very much sense._

" _What happened?" Diana asked._

 _If her son was anything, it was definitely_ _ **not**_ _openly emotional. He always put on a strong front, as if he thought he had to show everyone else that he could handle anything and everything life threw at him. She especially knew that the one person he never wanted to see him struggling was_ _ **her**_ _. So she immediately knew that whatever it was that was bothering her boy, it must be serious. Spencer seemed to be in crisis._

" _I… I just feel so alone. H-he left me and I don't… I don't know how to deal with it," Spencer explained._

" _ **Who**_ _left you, baby?" she asked, her confusion apparent._

 _And then Spencer wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know how to tell his mother any of this—or if he even_ _ **could**_ _. How could he explain to her that he had recently spent almost every waking hour under the protection of the FBI because a deranged killer was stalking him? And, oh yeah, that killer was associated with the_ _ **strip club**_ _that he had been working at for two years without her knowledge, in addition to the numerous other seedy things he had done to make money over the years. And how could he then tell her that, while being pursued by said-killer, he had fallen head-over-heels for the male agent who had come to town to solve the case and now that man had left him?_

" _Spencer… you can tell me anything," Diana's voice came after Spencer had gone silent._

 _That simple sentence was enough to alleviate some of Spencer's distress and he let out a small sigh._

" _I… I met someone? And um…I think I d-developed some…uh… f-feelings... But he was only here for a short time because of w-work and I didn't think it'd hurt so bad for him to leave. B-but now he's gone and I… I feel so alone," he said, tears filling his eyes again._

" _Spencer… this person… did he seem to return your feelings?" she asked carefully._

 _Spencer blushed, remembering back to the night before when Derek had touched him, kissed him, held him and… frankly, blew his mind. But, of course, he couldn't, and_ _ **wouldn't**_ _, share any of that with his mother._

" _I… I think he feels_ _ **something**_ _. At least that's what he made it sound like," Spencer said hesitantly._

 _Diana smiled to herself. She could hear the confusion and uncertainty in her son's voice. And she already knew, without Spencer having to say anything to her, that this was the first time he had ever experienced 'feelings' like these. That was exactly why he was so worked up, and also so unsure, about how to handle his feelings. She didn't care at all that her son had practically admitted to her that he was interested in another_ _ **man**_ _. She wasn't even sure he was aware he had made such a big 'announcement.' All she cared about was making sure Spencer felt better about what was probably a very frustrating and bewildering experience._

" _So, he had to leave because of work?" she asked, trying to parse out as much information as she could._

" _Y-yeah… he left this morning," Spencer said._

" _And he didn't say he was leaving because of anything to do with_ _ **you**_ _,_ _did he?" she asked._

" _N-no… I guess not," Spencer said._

" _And where is home for him?" she asked gently._

" _D.C.," Spencer said, voice hitching again, as he thought about how futile this whole thing was, considering the drastic distance._

" _You make it sound like he's on Mars, Spencer," Diana teased. "You're my brilliant boy who was talking circles around his teachers by the time he was four. You've always been able to solve any problem put in front of you."_

" _Wh-what are you saying?" Spencer asked, furrowing his brows._

" _Don't give up if you think there might be something there. Love is so precious, Spencer. And, especially for you, to be able to even admit out loud that you have these 'feelings'—even if you might not quite understand them right now—that tells me that this_ _ **means**_ _something. Right now it might be difficult to decide what you want to do, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost. If something's meant to come from this, it will. Ok, baby? You don't have to have all the answers right this very minute," she said softly._

The call had ended shortly after that, with Spencer feeling much more reluctant to talk after his mother had said the 'love' word. _That_ was something he wasn't quite sure he was ready to think about. But his mother's words had been supportive and comforting, and had really helped him to surmount the first big hill he was dealing with, which was how to even function. And after that, he had told himself to put Derek Morgan out of his mind for the moment—like his mother had said, if something was meant to come of it, then it just _would_. In the meantime, Spencer had told himself that he would toughen up, hoping to protect his heart from any further pain or distress.

So, days later, Spencer was shocked to have received a mysterious letter, accompanied by a check for an egregiously large amount of money. And when he had called Derek in Virginia—after being led to inquire with the older man because of the letter's mention of a "Fed friend"—he had been brought to tears when Derek had explained that he had gone out of his way to arrange it so that Spencer could have the money to 'start over.' The man's words had ripped off the fragile defenses Spencer had started to construct around his heart. His heart had, in actuality, _swelled_ at hearing Derek's voice and hearing the man's reasoning for his altruistic act. And Spencer knew he was done for. There was no way he was going to be kicking the habit that was Derek Morgan.

But, Derek's words the night before he left Spencer made it clear that Derek wanted Spencer to take their time apart to figure out his feelings. Even though Spencer's heart had been almost bursting, and he had wanted to just let Derek know over the phone, he knew Derek would never accept any kind of profession of love so close in time to the aftermath of the Adrian Moore incident.

Derek had said he wanted Spencer to live his life and to take advantage of his opportunities. Spencer knew he needed to show Derek that he _had_ thought about what he really wanted. That, now because he didn't have to worry about his, and his mother's, financial stability, he had been able to remove himself from the fear and unhappiness that came along with working at the Club. And he had re-immersed himself in what he really loved to do—learning. He would show him that he was finally _happy._ And that, even without needing Derek to protect him—like he had all those days Moore had been stalking him— _Derek_ , out of anyone else in the world was still the only one for him. Derek was the only thing missing. The only thing he _wanted_.

So, Spencer was going to D.C. And he planned on showing Derek just how serious he was.

* * *

A/N: Ok, and we're back in the game, y'all. (I'm from NJ; I don't know why I'm pretending I can say stuff like y'all, hahaha!) I'm excited to take on this sequel and I hope you guys are interested in seeing how things progress between Derek & Spencer. All the issues and 'what ifs' from the original will be addressed here, and of course I'll throw in some additional struggles ;p. This will probably be a 'feels'-heavy story, and I'm a very dialogue-driven writer so you'll probably have a lot of really in-depth convos between the characters. Just a heads up.

And, a few logistical things since this is this first chapter: similar to my 'lack of knowledge' of locations when I was writing about Vegas, I don't know very much about the DMV area. So, please bear with me. The point of the story isn't for my info to be super-factual, since the 'setting' really isn't that important. I will try to make an effort to look up some info about the area, though. Also, I know the BAU is located in Quantico, VA. But I'm having Derek _live_ in D.C. since it's just easier for them to find things to do if he lives closer to the city than to his job. Seems it's only about an hour away and I think that's believable for a commute. (I know some of you probably _really_ don't even care about any of this (these are all the crazy little nitpicky things writers think about, haha ;p), but I'm just explaining it for those who might have questions.)

Ok, please let me know your thoughts on the first chapter and I'll get cracking on chapter 2!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. It is the sole intellectual property of the CBS Corp. This story is a work of fiction and I am making no profit from its publication.

A/N: Thanks for all your reviews/comments and to all of you who subscribed to and/or favorited my story. Means so much :3 I would also like to thank my awesome-sauce beta-reader, A_WarriorZ_Haven! So much fun talking with her about my plans for this story :). She's definitely helping to make it the best it can be!

As for this chapter, well, Spencer finally arrives! Yay! All I can really say about this chapter is that it's very… 'cute.' Haha. That's not really my forte, but I hope you enjoy it in any case!

xoxo

* * *

A month later, and with Spencer's flight information memorized, Derek pulled into the parking lot of the Ronald Reagan National Airport. He was both excited and nervous. He hadn't seen Spencer in more than _six_ months and he, honestly, had no idea what to expect from this impromptu trip.

Although Derek had been happy at the prospect of Spencer's visit, he wasn't sure whether he should read something into it or not. On the phone, Spencer had seemed excited and happy, but the boy had not in any way mentioned what had transpired between them. Of course, Derek had been thankful for that—speaking on the phone in his workplace was neither the time nor place to be talking about their 'feelings.' But Derek just had the creeping suspicion that Spencer didn't feel… _anything_. It was apparent that the boy was more than ecstatic about the idea of coming to D.C. and hanging out, but it seemed like that was _all_ he wanted to do. Derek had been very much aware that there had been no playful teasing, or coy suggestions, like Spencer had been doing in the last few days they had been together. But Derek wondered why the thought of that bothered him at all. It would be for the best if he thought about this visit rationally and viewed it as purely platonic. Spencer was merely here in a friendship-capacity. They had had what they had had, but nothing more would come of that.

Derek paused for a second as that thought sank in: _Nothing more would come of that_.

As Derek opened his car door and stepped out into the chilly December night, he tried to convince himself that he should be _happy_ about the current circumstances. Everything he had hoped for the boy was coming to fruition. Spencer had quit working at _Mon Petit Chien_ , and had even been able to start school again. Now he had enough financial security that he should be able to relax and enjoy his life—like any other kid his age. And that was all Derek had ever really wanted. He wanted _Spencer_ to be happy.

Shoving his hands into his pockets for warmth, Derek crossed through the parking lot, heading for the arrivals pickup zone. Thinking about Spencer's happiness had gotten Derek to thinking about whether or not Spencer had found someone else to be happy _with._ He assumed Spencer had met other people at college—it was only natural. Spencer was definitely someone Derek imagined many of the students would want to get to meet. On top of being gorgeous, the boy was smart, sweet, and funny, sometimes shy and at other times feisty. So it was also highly likely that the boy had even met a 'special' someone. Thinking about Spencer with a girlfriend… or a _boy_ friend, for that matter, made Derek cringe slightly.

He didn't _want_ to think about that. After leaving Spencer in Vegas six months ago, Derek knew he had no right to imagine that the boy's feelings had persisted and that there was maybe _something_ there. Because, to be honest, Derek wasn't sure what he was willing to do with that if that were the reality. While he had enjoyed every last second of his time with Spencer the night before he had left, he still felt as if he had stepped over some major boundary-line. He hadn't been able to look his coworkers in the eyes for days after returning from Vegas. And he had purposefully avoided David Rossi's inquisitive looks. He knew the older man would never _ask_ what, if anything, had transpired between him and Spencer, but he was sure Rossi would be able to tell just by looking at him what the answer really was. However, his guilt had been lifted somewhat when Spencer had called just a few days after his return and announced that he had received the check. Derek had felt proud of himself then—happy that he could've given Spencer some tiny bit of comfort.

Spencer had been so overcome with emotion, and it had really gripped Derek, like a punch in the gut. While he had wanted nothing more than to hold Spencer and wipe his tears—and he had cursed the fact that there were thousands of miles between them—he was comforted by knowing Spencer's tears were tears of happiness. And _he_ had been the one to make the boy so happy. It had felt so good to have been able to do that for Spencer and Derek was sure, in that moment, that he would do anything to keep Spencer that way. He was willing to be there for Spencer, in any capacity, even if the boy decided he just wanted to keep the older man on the outskirts of his life. Derek would learn to live with that.

Frowning as he came to a stop in mid-stride, Derek hoped that that wasn't what Spencer wanted though. He couldn't even really say he expected Spencer to want to involve him in his life. He knew it was likely that Spencer's feelings had been hurt the last time they had been together, but he hoped the boy wasn't upset with him. He knew it had been a cowardly move to leave Spencer the morning after sharing such an intimate moment with him. But, Derek just hadn't been confident in himself to hold up his own part of the bargain he had struck with Spencer—asking the boy to take some time, apart, to think about his feelings. Spencer had literally caught Derek off guard. The boy had been ten times more seductive and alluring than Derek had expected, and he was afraid he would have quickly become addicted. He had even gotten so caught up in Spencer's pull that he had gone further with the boy than he had originally intended. Derek had wanted to kick himself because it had blurred the already hazy lines of what kind of relationship he wanted Spencer to believe they had. So, Derek wouldn't have been surprised if Spencer was hurt and confused the morning after when Derek had just been… _gone_.

However, Spencer had decided to come to D.C. on the first opportunity he got to take a break from school. That had to mean _something._ Spencer had seemed happy about the prospect of seeing him. He could sense no resentment in the boy's voice. In fact, Spencer had actually seemed genuinely surprised when Derek had offered to let him stay with him at his place. It allowed Derek to maintain a little glimmer of hope that things would be okay between them.

Smiling as he nodded to himself, Derek crossed the lane of traffic, filled with people coming to pick up their loved ones. And when he stepped up on the sidewalk in the passenger-pickup area of the arrivals section, his breath caught in his chest. Even though he looked a bit different, Derek immediately recognized the tall boy standing there, with his back to him, in a dark-gray pea-coat, tan leather satchel slung across his body. He stood with his hands in his pocket, shivering slightly as he looked around. Spencer's hair had grown longer, tucked behind his ear and curling under his chin. He was also wearing the same glasses Derek remembered often seeing him with. Then, as Spencer turned slightly again, Derek's eyes were drawn to the boy's mouth, and he could see that Spencer was nibbling on his bottom lip. And Derek had to stop a groan as all the memories flooded back to him—of how it was to kiss Spencer and how it was to feel the boy's soft lips against his own.

Sighing as he shook his head, already knowing that this week was going to be a test of his will-power, Derek moved closer to Spencer, until he was just a few inches behind him.

"Hey, Pretty Boy," he whispered.

And Derek had to hold back a chuckle as Spencer jumped and turned around, large honey-colored eyes wide with surprise.

"Derek!" Spencer said as his face lit up.

Spencer immediately moved forward, with his arms spread out, as if to hug Derek. But then he stopped, as if unsure of himself, and looked at Derek uncertainly.

"Come here, kid," Derek said with a grin, as he stepped forward, closing the space between them, and enveloped Spencer in a tight, warm hug.

As Spencer's body relaxed in his arms, and Derek felt the younger man return his tight embrace, Derek couldn't help but take a deep whiff of the boy's soft, chestnut brown hair. It smelled of coconuts, just like Derek remembered.

Reluctantly stepping back from the boy after their hug had gone on for a few minutes, Derek placed his hands on Spencer's shoulders, looking at him carefully.

"What're you doing out here? You're not used to this kind of cold, right? I told you I'd come meet you inside," Derek said as he gave Spencer a stern look.

Spencer smiled, blushing slightly.

"Um… I was really excited. I wanted to see everything, you know? Even if we're just at the airport. It's my first time here. So, I didn't want to just wait inside, staring at walls," Spencer explained.

Derek gave him a curious look.

Then a thought passed through his mind. Spencer's flight was supposed to get in at 6, and although Derek had come straight from work he knew there would be about an hour between Spencer's touchdown and when he would be able to pick him up. He hoped the kid hadn't been standing outside for an _hour_ in this weather.

"How long have you been out here…?" Derek asked with a frown.

"Um… well, I came outside right after getting my bags from baggage check. So…probably about a half an hour?" Spencer said with a shrug.

"Kid, it's _cold_ out here," Derek said disapprovingly, as he looked at Spencer's face. The boy seemed to be chilly—the end of his little nose and the tips of his ears were already red—but at least his lips weren't blue or anything like that. It wasn't brutally cold out—Derek himself was just wearing his leather jacket—but he knew that East Coast winters weren't for everyone.

"Well… it's definitely colder than I expected. But, I figure _anything_ would feel cold when you're used to the weather in Las Vegas," Spencer said giving him another wide grin.

" _Kid_ ," Derek said with a groan, as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Stop being so reckless. What's the point of coming here if you get sick and you have to spend the whole time with me nursing you back to health?"

Spencer blushed at the thought, and had to fight not to respond that that sounded like a pretty nice idea to _him_. But instead he feigned feeling chastised, and dropped his head, although he was still smiling. Derek wasn't convinced.

"Come on, let's get you home," Derek said as he slung an arm over Spencer's shoulder. "Where're your bags?"

Spencer faltered a bit at the man's closeness, feeling a warmth spread through his chest, but then, remembering himself, he reached behind him, indicating a small black rolling suitcase.

"Right here," he pointed out.

"Ok, got it," Derek said as he grabbed the bag with his free hand. "I'm parked right across the street, let's go."

And as Derek led him through the throngs of people, all probably similarly waiting for their loved ones, Spencer was content to just be wrapped in the man's warm embrace. As they approached the crossing, Derek wasn't talking much as his attention was focused on getting them across the heavily congested street. But Spencer was fine with that, as his thoughts were running a mile a minute.

He had been floored when he had seen Derek again. The man had always been attractive. _More like drop-dead gorgeous_ , Spencer thought to himself. But, it had been six months and the memories Spencer had of the mocha-skinned man with the 100-watt smile didn't do justice to the man who was standing right next to him at the moment. Spencer's heart had started to hammer as soon as he had turned and taken in Derek's warm, chocolate brown eyes, crinkling at the corners as he gave him a wide grin.

Derek had looked sleek and powerful in a distressed black leather jacket and jeans, which complimented his trim physique, and Spencer found his thoughts immediately straying to how it had felt to trace Derek's muscles with his fingers. Even the smell of Derek's cologne—which was the same one he had been wearing all those months ago—did something to Spencer's senses. He felt as if his mouth was almost watering at the smell. He had never expected he would be so affected by Derek's proximity. And all this realization did was further solidify Spencer's belief that he was _hooked_ on Derek Morgan.

So, Spencer was happy to keep his mouth shut as Derek hurried them across the street and through the parking lot. He wasn't sure if he would be able to form very many coherent and intelligent answers if Derek asked him anything. He would use the time to get himself to calm down. This trip wouldn't be very successful if he couldn't stop _smelling_ Derek long enough to talk to him, and tell the man about his feelings.

They came to a stop in front of a large, black truck. And Spencer realized that this wasn't the usual government-issued vehicle that the agents had been driving him around in during their time in Vegas. It was _Derek's_ car. It reminded Spencer again that they were going 'home,' as Derek had said. The thought made Spencer a bit giddy. He couldn't wait to see Derek's house and how he lived. It was so exciting to know that the older man was letting him into his life like that.

Lost in his thoughts, Spencer was only half-listening as Derek unlocked the vehicle and went behind the car to put his suitcase in the trunk.

"Get in, kid," he heard Derek say and when Spencer looked up, the older man was giving him a peculiar look.

Spencer realized he had probably zoned out, and flushed in embarrassment.

"O-ok," Spencer said hurriedly as he grabbed the handle, and he could hear Derek chuckling softly as he walked around to the driver's side.

"Did you have a good flight?" Derek asked as they both climbed into the car and began fastening their seatbelts.

"Yup. I haven't been on a plane in _years,_ so I was really excited to be flying again. I find flight to be so fascinating, actually. The engineering has to be impeccable. If you're off by even a slight fraction of an inch, the whole thing can come apart. And the history of flight is really remarkable, too. Did you know most people think the Wright brothers were the first ones to come up with the idea of the airplane? But in actuality, the first person to really come up with the idea was Sir George Cayley, in 1799. And he built the first passenger-carrying glider in 1853. The Wright Brothers didn't complete their first flight until _1903_. But they _are_ considered to have piloted the first sustained and controlled heavier-than-air powered flight," Spencer rattled off, matter-of-factly.

Derek stared at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape, and when Spencer realized the older man hadn't responded, he turned to him, blushing heavily at the look he was giving him.

"Uh… I… I can stop talking now. I know I ramble sometimes. It's probably really annoying," Spencer said, feeling embarrassed.

Derek laughed as he shook his head.

"No, no. Don't worry about it. It was just a little surprising. You seem so _excited_ about everything you're talking about. It's really cute, kid," he said with a smile as he turned to the steering wheel and started the car.

As Spencer's cheeks reddened, he couldn't help but be flabbergasted at Derek's off-hand compliment.

 _Derek thinks it's_ _ **cute**_ _?_ He wondered to himself, somewhat amazed. But he still remained quiet. He didn't understand how his 'rambling' had just come out like that. He hadn't felt the urge to rattle off statistics and facts all that much while he had been working at the Club, since he had quickly learned his coworkers neither appreciated, nor understood, much of the things he found to be so 'fascinating.'

But now that he was back in an academic environment, able to indulge in open curiosity once again, the urge to ramble had become almost uncontrollable. He had been spouting facts at a rapid pace to anyone who would listen, for months. However, he had recently started to work on reeling it in since he had been chastised more than once by his classmates at school. He had been doing a pretty good job by the end of the semester, and it had almost become natural to 'de-Spencer-ify' his speech. So that was why he was so confused by how quickly he had reverted to his mindless babbling. He figured he probably already felt too comfortable around Derek, and made a mental note to himself to be more conscious about keeping himself 'in check.'

"I'm really happy you're here, Spencer," Derek said, breaking into Spencer's thoughts, as he put the car into 'reverse' and began to back out of the parking spot.

"R-really?" Spencer asked shyly.

"Of course," Derek said, tossing him a grin.

"Now, come on, we've got about a 20minute drive to get back to my place. Tell me more about the 'wonder of flight,'" Derek said playfully as he waggled his eyebrows at Spencer.

Spencer blushed, but felt confident that Derek wasn't making fun of him. It really sounded like Derek didn't _mind_ his rambles.

"O-ok… Well, did you know that the reason why a heavier-than-air aircraft can fly is because of Newton's third law of physics?" Spencer asked, eyes already lighting up at the prospect of explaining.

Derek held back a chuckle as he began to drive.

"No, I did not know that. Why don't you tell me about it?" he asked.

* * *

It was almost an hour later before Derek pulled up outside of his brownstone. He had discovered on the way home that Spencer hadn't eaten all day. The boy had chalked it up to having been 'too excited' about the trip to remember to feed himself. So Derek had made the executive decision to make a detour for some takeout.

As he put the car into park, Derek glanced over to the boy who was looking out the window, an awed expression on his face.

" _That's_ your house?" Spencer asked as he pointed to the bricked building.

"Yeah," Derek said with a small smile, pleased by Spencer's sounds of admiration.

"Derek, it's really beautiful," Spencer said.

A number of facts regarding D.C.'s historic brownstones flooded through his mind, but he decided to keep them to himself. Derek had been a good enough sport listening to Spencer prattle on about the mechanics of flight; the length of time it'd take to get from Las Vegas to D.C. via car, train, and plane, including the pros and cons of each mode of travel; and, lastly the differences between American-style pizza and authentic Italian pizza (while they were waiting in said pizza parlor for their food).

"Well, I'm glad you like it. I worked on it for almost three years before I thought I was satisfied with it," Derek said, his voice reflecting his pride in his work.

Spencer spun around to stare at him.

"What do you mean 'worked' on it?" he asked inquisitively.

"I buy old, rundown houses that people seem to have just given up on, and I restore them. I like the idea of bringing something back to its former glory by giving it the love and attention it needs. With this house, it took me a long time until I felt everything was just right and at some point I just kind of… well, fell in love with it. So, I knew I couldn't put it on the market like I did with all the other ones. I had to have it for myself," Derek said somewhat bashfully.

Spencer was taken aback. It was so beautiful to listen to the way Derek talked about the work he did on houses. But, Spencer wasn't surprised that the older man would give such painstaking care to restoring an old, abandoned house. Derek seemed to be someone who could see the beauty in things that others would overlook.

"Derek, that's amazing," Spencer said with a genuine smile. "I can't wait to see the inside."

"Alright, well come on then," Derek said with a grin as he opened the car door.

Spencer hopped out of the car, grabbing the large pizza boxes and waited for Derek to finish pulling his suitcase out of the trunk.

"Ah, I can carry my bag," Spencer offered as he moved to help Derek, but the older man laughed as he pulled the bag behind him and out of Spencer's reach.

"Come on, kid. Just let me do this. You can be in charge of the pizza," Derek said with a grin.

Spencer gave him an unimpressed look. But Derek ignored him and began walking up the steps to his front door. Spencer hurried behind him, following Derek through once he had opened the door.

As Spencer stepped into the expansive open layout living area, he barely had any time to appreciate the décor before he heard an unsettling sound. _Barking_. It wasn't the kind of 'yip-yip' sound a small-breed dog made. These were loud, deep 'woofs' and Spencer immediately froze.

Turning around as he sensed Spencer come to a halt, Derek looked in confusion at the statute-like boy. Then it dawned on him. _Clooney_.

"Oh, shit, kid. I have a _dog_. I forgot to mention. You afraid of dogs?" Derek asked with concern as he walked over to Spencer.

"Um… n-no. Not 'afraid' per se. But, dogs just haven't ever really… _liked_ me, I guess?" Spencer said nervously.

"Ever been bit?" Derek asked with a frown.

"No… but, I think I've come kind of close a few times," Spencer admitted.

Nodding to himself, Derek reached behind Spencer to close the door and ushered the boy further into the room.

"Well, you have nothing to worry about then. Clooney's really a lovable guy. Seriously, he's the kind of dog that'll lick you silly, and won't be able to stop. He's never bitten anyone. In his life," Derek promised.

Spencer cringed a bit at the thought of the dog 'licking him silly.' It was better than biting, but it still seemed rather gross.

"Uh… o-ok," Spencer murmured as he let Derek guide him into the spacious room.

Trying to ignore the sound of 'Clooney' barking—Spencer was glad that it sounded like the dog was behind a closed door somewhere further in the house—he allowed himself to look around Derek's gorgeous home.

To his right was a beautiful mahogany leather sectional facing a large, flat screen TV that was hanging on the wall above a chic, slate-tiled fireplace. The living room also had what seemed to be an extensive entertainment system, wooden bookcases peppered with books, photos, trophies, and awards, and odd pieces strewn about the room, like what Spencer could only assume was a dog bed and a blanket with some kind of sports team's insignia tossed over the back of the sofa. To his left he could just see into what appeared to be a large, bright kitchen with white cabinets and stainless steel appliances. A large quartz-topped kitchen island/breakfast bar separated the kitchen from the rest of the first floor. Three high-backed bar stools were positioned at the bar and Spencer could already imagine how nice it would be to wake up to breakfast in that kitchen. All Derek's design choices were a mix of homey and modern, and Spencer was definitely impressed.

"Wow," he said, letting his eyes rove around again.

"Come on, you can't just stand here the whole time," Derek said, laughing as he took the pizza boxes out of Spencer's hands. "But thanks for the compliment."

Derek tossed a smile at Spencer over his shoulder as he began to walk into the kitchen.

"Well, I can't help but stare. Everything's really nice… But, I kind of feel like I'm afraid I'll mess things up," Spencer said, as he followed him.

Derek laughed.

"Trust me, this place only looks this nice because I knew I was having company," Derek said as he tossed the pizza boxes on the countertop and then walked to one of the cabinets. Opening it, he began to pull out plates.

"With my job, I'm jumping on a jet at least four or five times a month. So when I _am_ home, often times my shoes, bag, jacket, and anything else I'm holding when I walk in the house all end up in a pile by the door. I forget to wash dishes, laundry piles up, and believe me I definitely don't make my bed. And, Lord help us if Clooney comes in from a run in the rain. There's mud _everywhere_ ," Derek said as he cringed.

Spencer laughed at the man's description. But, speaking of the devil, Clooney's barking started up again, as if he had heard his owner mention his name.

Derek sighed at the sound and laughed ruefully.

"Here," he said as he pushed a plate in Spencer's direction. "Make yourself a plate. And get anything else you wanna eat or drink out of the fridge. I'm gonna let Clooney out into the backyard. And when I come back, we can watch a movie."

Spencer nodded happily as he watched Derek walk down a hallway to the left of the kitchen. He wondered what was at the other end of the house. He heard Derek open a door and suddenly the barking became much clearer. Spencer laughed to himself as he could hear Derek saying, "Easy, boy! Easy!" And then he heard what sounded like a sliding door open and close, and silence descended on the room again.

Spencer couldn't help but smile as he removed his satchel and pulled out one of the barstools, sitting himself down at the breakfast bar. As he opened one of the pizza boxes, inhaling the smell of melted cheese, he absentmindedly wondered where the bedrooms were. He couldn't help but blush as the thought crossed his mind. He had noticed a flight of stairs tucked against the wall right off the living room, and could only assume that the bedrooms were upstairs. He would be happy if both of them were. The thought of sleeping down the hall from Derek made him giggle softly to himself. He loved the idea of being close to Derek.

He quickly grabbed two slices of the basil and mozzarella pizza and placed them on his plate. Then, thinking Derek would appreciate it, Spencer opened the other box and grabbed two slices of the pepperoni, placing them on the other plate. Hopping off the bar stool, Spencer looked around the large kitchen. He felt strange going through Derek's fridge, but the older man had said he could, so he figured it was probably alright.

Pulling open the fridge doors, Spencer glanced inside, seeing an array of drinks, ranging from sports drinks, juices, sodas, waters and beers. Smiling to himself, and fondly remembering Derek's reaction the last time Spencer had offered him a beer, he decided it'd be safer to go with sodas. Grabbing two bottles, Spencer pushed the doors closed and placed the drinks on the table. His ears perked up when he heard the sound of the sliding doors open again, accompanied by Derek's laughing and the excited barking of 'Clooney.'

"Hey, Pretty Boy, come meet Clooney, or he's never going to relax," Derek called from the hallway.

Spencer froze.

"Uh… that's ok, I'd rather not?" Spencer called back hesitantly.

The sound of Derek's whole-hearted chuckle sent a burst of warmth through Spencer's stomach.

"Well, if you, or any of my neighbors, plan on getting any sleep tonight, I think it's best if you come and meet him," he called back.

Spencer let out a loud groan, and Derek laughed again. Rolling his eyes, Spencer slowly made his way into the hallway and came across Derek, standing by a glass, sliding door, holding a large chocolate Labrador by a strong grip on the dog's collar. Spencer cringed as he looked at the dog. He seemed to be about 70-75 pounds. That was almost half of Spencer's body weight. He was sure the dog could knock him down if he wanted to.

" _Relax_ kid, your nervousness is making him all jumpy. Just come over here, let him sniff at you, and he'll calm down," Derek said with a smile.

Spencer took a deep breath as he stepped toward the dog, whose tail was wagging excitedly and tongue was lolling out as he panted.

"Just stick your hand out, palm up, and let him get a sniff," Derek said with a grin.

Spencer licked his lips nervously, and tentatively extended his hand. Derek nodded encouragingly at him and slackened his hold a bit on the dog's collar so that Clooney could lean forward. Spencer stood as still as he could as he felt the dog sniff at him, hot air blowing against his hand. But he was relieved that no biting, or even licking, had transpired.

Derek rubbed Clooney's head, and said "See boy, he's a friend."

He then let go of the dog's collar, and Spencer's whole body immediately stiffened. Derek gave him a look, eyebrows raised, as if to say ' _relax_.' So, Spencer tried to calm himself down—although his body was still pretty rigid—as the dog curiously trotted up to him and began to excitedly walk around him in circles, sniffing curiously at his long legs. Clooney then let out a low 'whuff,' as if to indicate he was satisfied, and then trotted out in to the living room.

Derek laughed as Spencer let out a sigh of relief.

"You act like I unleashed a grizzly bear on you, kid," Derek said.

"I probably know more about how to avoid a grizzly bear than an overexcited dog," Spencer said flatly.

Derek rolled his eyes, as he motioned for Spencer to turn around and walk back to the kitchen. As they entered the large, open space, Derek smiled appreciatively as he saw Spencer had also fixed a plate for him as well. He turned to thank the kid but then titled his head in confusion as he looked carefully at Spencer.

"You're still in your coat," he pointed out, looking at Spencer's buttoned up pea-coat.

"Oh… yeah, I guess I forgot. It's warm," Spencer said with a smile as he tugged at the lapels of his coat.

Derek laughed again.

"Ok, well, you're _inside_ and we have heat, so take it off," he instructed.

Spencer shrugged as he unbuttoned the pea-coat, pulling off a light-purple scarf that had been inconspicuously tucked inside. When he pulled off his outerwear and revealed his outfit, Derek couldn't help but chuckle. He had forgotten Spencer's preferred style of dress. The boy was wearing a long, baggy v-neck cardigan, over a t-shirt, and brown corduroy pants, accompanied, as usual, by his old, beat-up Converse sneakers. Although he thought Spencer was a little strange, he really liked that the kid now looked nothing like the stripper he used to be. While Spencer, in his more scantily-clad moments, had always made Derek's pulse race, he was ultimately more attracted to the sweet and innocent-looking boy standing in front of him.

"I've always wanted to ask you about your choice in clothes," Derek said as he reached out, taking Spencer's coat out of his hands.

"Hmm?" Spencer said as he looked down at his clothes. He couldn't see anything wrong with them.

"Well, you're always wearing something like a cardigan, or hoodie, or some kind of layered outfit. And you were doing this even though you lived in _Vegas_. It was pretty warm there, kid," Derek said, with a raised eyebrow.

Spencer flushed slightly.

"I dunno… it's just how I was always used to dressing. I guess it's what my mom used to pick out for me and it kind of just became _my_ style. I like baggy clothes because they feel really comfy, and layering is great because you never know what the temperature's going to be like," Spencer said with a weak shrug.

His mind momentarily flitted to the fact that one of the major reasons he often gravitated toward the long-sleeved, layered clothing was because it allowed him to feel covered. Working at the Club, he had been forced to wear clothes that made him self-conscious, exposing his body in ways he was often not comfortable with. That clothing had then, in turn, invited the leering looks, and unwanted touches, of customers and 'clients.' He was made to feel like an object, and had learned to hate having the eyes of others on him. And more than anything, he hated not feeling like he had _control_. So, the clothes had become sort of like a protective cocoon; a way for him to separate himself from the life he was forced to live inside the walls of _Mon Petit Chien_ , and hold on to vestiges of his life _before_ it. But he didn't want to explain that to Derek.

Watching Spencer, Derek could see that the boy was biting his bottom lip, brows furrowed as if he was deep in thought. Derek could tell that he had somehow made him uncomfortable, and he wanted to try and lighten the mood.

"Well, layering also has its perks since its more fun for the person taking it off of you," Derek said with a laugh.

But as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth he wanted to kick himself. Spencer stared at him, mouth slightly agape in shock. And Derek had no clever response to explain his completely idiotic and inappropriate statement.

"Uh," Derek said as he ran a hand over his face in embarrassment. "How about we… go watch that movie now?"

Spencer let out a small, muffled sound, as if he was trying to hold back his laughter, and just nodded at Derek. Derek's comment, although completely unexpected, had definitely succeeded at lightening the mood.

"I'm going to go put your coat away," Derek said, avoiding looking at the laughing boy. "Can you grab the plates and bring them into the living room?"

"Yup," Spencer said, as he watched Derek walk back down the hall.

Picking up the two bottles of soda and tucking one under each arm so that his hands would remain free, Spencer grabbed the plates and walked into the living room. He was surprised to see Clooney curled up in what he had correctly guessed was a dog bed near the foot of the sofa. He wondered if the dog would do something—maybe give a territorial show of ownership in warning to the newcomer. Instead, the dog just glanced at him curiously, before dropping his head back on top of his forearms and seeming to go back to sleep.

Sighing in relief, Spencer quickly set the plates down on the coffee table. Turning to look at the large sofa, Spencer wasn't sure where he should sit. How much space, exactly, was he expected to leave between himself and Derek? He considered taking the far left-hand corner of the couch—that would probably be the safest, most unassuming, position. On the other hand, Spencer had promised himself that he would try to be more confident during his time visiting Derek. He was here to get Derek's attention, and he wasn't going to do that all the way on the other side of the sofa. So, biting his lip nervously, Spencer sat himself down on the center seat, and tried his best to act casual.

He soon heard the sound of feet approaching on the wooden floor and glanced over his shoulder to see Derek walking toward him. The older man gave him a wide grin, and Spencer felt that familiar 'thump-thump' in his chest, causing his face to heat up as he turned away. A few seconds later, Derek was flopping down on the couch next to him, close enough that their thighs were touching.

"Any idea what you're in the mood to watch?" Derek asked as he reached for the TV remote that was sitting on the side-table next to the couch and turned the TV on.

Trying to ignore the feel of Derek's warm, muscular thigh pressed up against his own, Spencer just shook his head, no.

"Action sound good?" Derek asked as he began flipping through On Demand movies.

"Uh… sounds good to me," Spencer said, as he reached forward to grab one of the bottles of soda. He figured keeping his hands busy might be a good distraction. As he twisted off the top of the soda and took a gulp, Spencer thought about the fact that he really wasn't a big fan of 'action' movies, if it meant it was solely going to be about high-speed car chases, explosions, and gun fights, but he doubted he would be able to pay very much attention to whatever Derek picked anyway.

"Hmm, ok, I think I've got one that you might like," Derek said as he decided on something and clicked play.

Derek then grabbed his pizza and shifted so that he was leaning against the armrest of the couch. Spencer watched as it looked like Derek was trying to get comfortable in the small space on the couch and he was almost about to ask the older man if he wanted him to move, but then Derek gave him a somewhat apologetic smile.

"You mind if I stretch out?" Derek asked as he pointed to the vacant space behind Spencer. Spencer was currently sitting quite rigidly at the edge of his seat on the couch. There was more than enough space for Derek to stretch out behind him.

Eyes widening slightly at the fact that it didn't seem like Derek wanted to put distance between them at all, Spencer shook his head again, and allowed Derek to extend his legs behind him. Derek then began to eat, eyes focusing on the intro credits rolling across the screen.

Spencer picked up his plate as well and tentatively shifted backwards on the seat until he was leaned back against Derek's legs. Seeing that the older man hadn't seemed to mind his closeness, Spencer relaxed and drew his legs up onto the couch, sitting Indian-style.

The two men watched the movie in companionable silence for the first twenty minutes or so, as they ate their dinner and absorbed the plot. Soon, however, Derek started praising the effects in the movie, and Spencer couldn't help but roll his eyes as he dismissively said "There's no way that could really happen."

Thus, a good-natured argument had ensued between them, with Spencer citing physics and Derek arguing that he was _in_ law enforcement, and had seen his fair share of amazing feats. Spencer couldn't help but grin at how comfortable their conversation was. Things felt way better than they had six months ago when every pleasant moment was ruined when they were reminded of the fact that a dangerous sociopath lurked in the shadows. It had been difficult to really ever feel like he could relax. Now, even though Adrian Moore still crossed Spencer's mind sporadically throughout the day, and haunted his nightmares more often than he'd like to admit, Spencer definitely felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He could finally breathe. He could relax. He could try to be normal. And that was all thanks to Derek.

Derek looked at Spencer, and saw that the boy was looking at him with a small smile.

"So… how you been kid?" he asked, smiling warmly in response, as he shifted, making himself more comfortable on the couch. He wouldn't admit it, but he liked the feel of Spencer so close to him. In the midst of their pseudo-argument, Spencer had turned to face him, and now Spencer was closer than before, the boy's thigh pressing against his.

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked, cocking his head to the side in a notably adorable fashion.

"Well, we haven't really talked about how things have been going for you the past few months. Your new life at school… And, you know, people in your life, and all that," Derek said, averting his eyes as the last words slipped from his lips.

Spencer bit his lip as he thought about the question. He then smiled brightly.

"Things have been going… really well, actually. I was invited to work on a professor's project in the engineering department and we have a paper currently under review for publication. That was pretty exciting. I've also taken up tutoring in chemistry and even have some grad students that come to me for help. And I started playing chess in this neighborhood league that's organized by the University. The players range from kids as young as 10 to some really old guys, but it's so much fun," Spencer said, eyes lighting up with excitement.

Derek listened attentively, although he was somewhat frustrated that Spencer's answers had focused on his _academic_ adjustment, and had completely skipped over any references to _people_ in his life, which was what Derek was, admittedly, far more interested in hearing about.

"How about you?" Spencer asked, scooting a little bit closer. "How's everything… um… with work?"

If the experience chasing, and then ultimately dispatching of, Adrian Moore was any indicator, Spencer knew that Derek's job was dangerous and probably, more often than not, demoralizing. Spencer had worried for months about the kinds of unpleasant scenarios Derek could be getting in to while chasing 'bad guys.' But, he was also really proud of Derek. Derek was _literally_ a hero. He, along with the other members of his team, was the kind of person who laid his life on the line on a daily basis to keep everyday people safe. Spencer thought it was fascinating, and he really respected what Derek did.

Derek sighed a bit as he sat up, locking eyes with the inquisitive boy.

"Hmm, it's been a rough past couple of months," he admitted, as he shrugged.

"We had a lot of cases. And since we spent more time than usual working on the Vegas case, we had to play a lot of catch-up when we came back. But, we've been successful on every case we've had since then. So I can say I'm happy with our results. My team is really great," Derek said with a proud smile.

Spencer smiled back. He hadn't spent an equal amount of time with each member of the team—and had spent the most amount of time, by far, with Derek—but he had really liked each of the individual men and women that made up the skilled Behavioral Analysis Unit.

"That's great. And what about… you know, when you get back from cases. Um… you know, like in your free time? What about your girlfriend?" Spencer asked awkwardly.

Derek blinked in surprise at the question, and he could tell Spencer had been uncomfortable even voicing it. But, even though his heartrate quickened a bit, he told himself not to read into it.

"I don't _have_ a girlfriend, kid," he said with a soft chuckle.

Spencer looked at him with wide eyes.

" _Really_?" he asked. "That's surprising."

Derek laughed.

"Damn, you make it sound like you're saying I have no game," Derek said, feigning a pout.

Spencer laughed at the ridiculous expression he was making, but he was also extremely relieved.

"Well… I kind of have to wonder," Spencer teased back.

Derek placed a hand over his heart, as if Spencer's words wounded him.

"Wow, you've got _jokes_ ," he laughed. "It's definitely not my game that's at issue, kid. You ever think I just wasn't _looking_?"

Spencer stared at Derek for a moment, honey eyes locked onto chocolate-brown ones. Then the older man smiled at him mischievously.

"What about _you_ , Pretty Boy? Huh? Did you turn into a regular Casanova once you got back on campus and finally had the chance to be with coeds your own age?" Derek teased as he waggled his eyebrows at the younger man.

Spencer's face heated up and he looked away.

"Uh… _no_. I-it's not like I was going to school for _that_. I mean, I have to study," Spencer said quickly, stammering a bit.

He hadn't been expecting Derek to turn the question back on him, and he hadn't yet prepared himself on how he wanted to tell Derek that he _wouldn't_ date anyone other than him. He couldn't even think about doing something like that.

But Derek only laughed, interpreting Spencer's flustered state as shyness.

"I think you're the only college student who would say that," Derek said as he reached up and ruffled Spencer's soft hair.

Spencer blushed prettily, and Derek couldn't help giving him a smile and a wink. He had been steeling himself to hear _something_ about some kind of tryst that Spencer had had at college. So he couldn't deny how good it felt to hear the kid vehemently deny it. Of course, he couldn't be sure if Spencer was just not _comfortable_ divulging, or if there really wasn't anything to divulge. But, for now, he was content with the information he had. If Spencer wanted to amend his initial statement, he would let the boy do so in his own time.

"Gosh, let's just watch the movie," Spencer said with a huff as he swiveled so that he was facing the TV again. "We've already missed a whole bunch of the plot."

"I have faith that our little genius will be able to get us all caught up," Derek said with a laugh from his spot comfortably leaned against the arm of the couch.

Spencer didn't bother to turn and give him a response, but the slight pink tinge that flushed over his cheeks and the tips of his ears was enough to tell Derek the boy had appreciated the compliment.

* * *

A few hours, and two movies later, it was nearing midnight and Derek could tell, by the heavy weight of one Spencer Reid draped over his legs, that the boy had started nodding off. He wasn't surprised. The kid had gone to town on the remaining slices of the pizza—apparently Spencer was hungrier than the boy himself had first realized—and a full stomach, on top of having been traveling for more than six hours, would definitely explain his drowsy disposition.

"Come on, kid. I think it's time you turn in. Let's go upstairs and get you settled," Derek said as he grabbed the TV-remote, clicking it off. He grabbed the back of one of Spencer's calves and shook it gently, trying to rouse his sluggish house-guest.

"Huh?" Spencer asked sleepily, as he repositioned his arms on Derek's legs. "I'm not tired. I promise."

Derek laughed, as he looked at the younger man, who was currently curled up almost flush against him. During the movie, Spencer had moved from sitting with his back leaned against Derek's legs, to laying down with his arms crossed over Derek's legs, using them as a pillow, and his knees tucked up against his chest.

Derek smiled at the adorable image, and was actually impressed by Spencer's ability to curl himself up so compactly like that. Although thin, the boy wasn't _small,_ by far, but he had an uncanny ability to fold his lanky limbs up so that he appeared to take up no space at all. But Derek was happy that Spencer was currently so close to him. When he had first sat down, Derek was acutely aware of how tense Spencer had seemed. So he had tried his best to make the younger man comfortable, and had been fully aware of it when it appeared that Spencer had finally relaxed enough to slip into this position. And, even though the scene before him was a bit more intimate than Derek had expected this first night to turn out, he hadn't minded it. He liked that it seemed Spencer was comfortable around him, as if he was someone the boy had known for _years_.

"Don't force yourself to stay up. We have a lot of time for late nights," Derek said as he stood and stretched.

Derek's words immediately woke Spencer up and Spencer bit his lip to stop himself from grinning.

"You promise?" he asked, hoping to tease Derek.

But it seemed Spencer's suggestive meaning had been lost on the older man, and he just nodded at Spencer.

"Of course, kid. It's vacation. We can stay up as long as we want. When we have enough _energy_ to do so. So, get up," he said, grabbing Spencer's leg again.

Spencer huffed to himself, and rolled his eyes at the failed attempt at flirtation, as he got to his feet.

"Come on," Derek said, as he grabbed the boy's bag, which had been left in the hallway, and began to climb the stairs to the second floor.

Spencer hurried behind him, walking up the carpeted steps. He came to a halt as he saw Derek stop in front of the first closed door on the hall.

Derek smiled as he turned the knob and opened the door onto a spacious room, with pale-yellow walls and a plush, cream carpet covering the floor. There was a large, queen-sized bed, with soft-looking blue sheets, against the wall closest to the door, accompanied by twin nightstands on each side of the bed. A set of light-gray towels were already folded neatly and sitting on top of the bed. Spencer's eyes were then drawn to the two large windows on the wall to the left of the bed, and he imagined they must overlook the backyard. He could also see two beautiful wood dressers and what looked to be a sizeable closet on the furthest side of the room.

"Wow, this is really nice," Spencer said as he walked in after Derek.

"Only the best for my Pretty Boy," Derek said jokingly.

Spencer flushed at the man's words, and was glad that Derek wasn't looking at him as he was busy rolling his suitcase further into the room. He was starting to wish Derek would stop calling him that. Every time he heard those words in that deep, husky voice it made his insides heat up.

"My room's the one right across the hall from yours. If you need anything, you know where to find me. Don't be shy, ok? And there's a bathroom right next door to your room. Feel free to use the soap and shampoo in there, and if you run out of anything just let me know. There's also a half-bath downstairs. And the laundry room, where I was keeping Clooney before you arrived, is downstairs too," Derek explained, as if he was trying to remember everything on a list.

Spencer just nodded, trying to keep track of everything. And Derek smiled at him.

"And, really, feel free to use anything you want in the house during your stay here, kid. I'm serious. I really want you to feel at home," Derek said.

"O-ok," Spencer said, nodding at him shyly. "Thanks for this, Derek. This is really great."

"Don't worry about it, kid. I'm really happy you're here and I can't wait to show you around the city," he said with a smile.

"Now, I'm gonna let you get settled in. And don't worry about tomorrow morning. Sleep in as late as you like, and I'll come get you for breakfast. Then we can talk about some of the things you'd like to do while you're here. Sound good?" Derek asked.

"Yeah. That sounds great," Spencer said, smiling at him.

"Good to hear," Derek said smiling warmly back. "Okay, kid. Get a good night's sleep, you hear? I won't take you complaining about being tired tomorrow."

Spencer stuck his tongue out at him, but then smiled.

"Night, kid," Derek said with a laugh as he walked towards the door.

"Night, Derek," Spencer said as Derek pulled the door closed behind him.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Derek walked into his master bathroom, content that Spencer was settled for the time being. He had heard the shower across the hall turn on about five minutes ago, and since Spencer hadn't knocked at his door, he figured the boy had found everything he needed just fine.

As Derek began to slip out of his work clothes, he found himself smiling as he thought about his time spent with Spencer. The boy had only been here for a matter of hours, but Derek was already sure that this would be a successful visit. He and Spencer just seemed to 'click.' Even though they hadn't seen each other for six months, things just weren't awkward between them. To Derek, it really felt like no time had passed since the last time he had seen the eccentric, yet beautiful, boy.

He actually found Spencer to be quite refreshing. He could already sense that a weight had been lifted off of Spencer's shoulders. Spencer was more relaxed and smiled more freely than he had during their time in Vegas. Derek was happy that the experience with Adrian Moore hadn't left any lasting, physical scars on the boy. But, he knew that Spencer was probably still dealing with the emotional consequences of the experience. And, while he appeared to be fine on the surface, Derek would make a point of talking with Spencer about it at some point during his trip, to make sure he really was as okay as he seemed.

As he pulled his phone out of his pocket, Derek glanced through his messages and email, a habit he had formed as a function of being in a profession where he was constantly 'on call.' He didn't see any missed calls or messages from his unit-chief. All he saw were a few inappropriate, yet chuckle-inducing, texts from Garcia. That was nothing new though. He responded back to Garcia's messages with a flirtatious one of his own, and wished her a good night. Derek was glad to be on vacation, but he would miss seeing the bright and cheery blonde woman's smile over the next few days. Although, in this line of work, it was never a guarantee that being 'on vacation' would actually mean anything if a case came up.

Technically speaking, Derek's vacation didn't actually start until _Monday._ It was currently Thursday night and Derek was still on-call for tomorrow. Spencer's winter break had started two days ago and Derek, wanting to spend as much time as he could with the boy, had asked Hotch if he could start his vacation a bit earlier so that their breaks could coincide. His supervisor had signed off on the early leave, with the caveat that he was free to take the extra time, as long as no new cases arose. But Derek knew there was always the possibility that he could get called in.

Hoping that that didn't happen, Derek placed his phone down on the bathroom counter and finished stripping himself of his clothes. Turning the hot water on and stepping into the shower, he began to mentally run through all the ideas he had for places he could take Spencer during the boy's visit. He couldn't wait to get Spencer acquainted with the city that he had grown to love. He was sure Spencer would love it too. But, more than anything, he was really looking forward to seeing the boy's beautiful, honey-brown eyes light up with excitement and happiness as he smiled. He'd give anything to see that.

* * *

A/N: Aww, well there's chapter 2! I feel like there's so much 'sweetness' in here that it's giving me a toothache, hahaha ;p. On the other hand, I don't really _mind_ it since Spencer and, to an extent, Derek, had such a rough time of it in the first story. It's nice for them to just get a chance to enjoy each other's company. Of course, I can't keep it unicorns and rainbows for the entire story, so we'll have a couple of instances of angsty-angst in the later chapters. But, for right now, let's let them just have a good time (*cries*).

So, on to other things: We had a little of our good-old 'rambly' Spencer, lol. I always really respect writers who can do Spencer's rants successfully because, _God_ , it requires a lot of research. I thank Wikipedia for my sudden, and thorough, knowledge of the history of flight, hahaa. As for Clooney, I think it's like a stamp of honor for every Criminal Minds fanfic-writer to take a stab at describing this mysterious, never-before-seen dog. Unfortunately, I am not a dog person (I have a nice tuxedo-cat named Lola, though :3), so I had to actually look up dog breeds to figure out what I was going to make Clooney. I had originally settled on a "Chesapeake Bay Retriever," but then read that they weren't so affectionate/hyperactive, so I ultimately picked a regular Chocolate Lab. In any case, it's a cute dog :D.

As always, I **love** to hear from you guys, so please do comment/review if you feel so inclined! It'll make my day :D.

Until next time, y'all! Xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I do not own Criminal Minds. It is the sole intellectual property of the CBS Corp. This story is a work of fiction and I am making no profit from its publication.

A/N: So, thanks for the feedback and support so far! And thanks to my wonderful beta reader, A_WarriorZ_Haven!

This chapter is a little different from the previous one. It's more like… 'stage-setting,' haha. But, build-up is key, kiddos. I think there are definitely a few more 'fluffy' moments, too, for those of you who like that sort of thing. Me, personally, I can't wait for angst! D:. (Later, my pretties, later)

Also wanted to mention that, while aimlessly strolling through tumblr a little while back, I saw that someone recommended Pretty Boy, Part I, and seeing that totally made my day! So, 'povverbottoms' (if you're still reading), this one's dedicated to you! :D

Enjoy!

xoxo

* * *

Derek had woken up at quarter-past six. He knew Spencer was not a morning person, so Derek had decided he would let the boy sleep. In the meantime, Derek completed his daily morning reps before going for a run with Clooney. He then took a shower, and made a huge breakfast, complete with French toast, fresh-squeezed orange juice, and a frittata. Minutes to nine, as Derek was washing the last of the dishes and getting ready to go wake up Spencer, he heard his phone beep, alerting him that he had received a text message.

Frowning as he dried his hands, Derek picked up the phone and read the message. It was from Hotch.

 _Abduction of a 7 Y.O. female from elementary school. Call me ASAP_.

Derek immediately dialed his superior and the older man picked up on the second ring.

"What's the case?" Derek asked.

"Nina Parsons, seven-year-old White female, was apparently abducted from the grounds of the Woodrow Wilson Elementary school," Hotch explained. "Her mother, Hannah, dropped her off, as usual, at 7:30 in the schoolyard, but when the teacher did roll-call at 8:00am, Nina was missing. The teacher thought the child was sick and when she called the mother to confirm, Mrs. Parsons informed her that her child was at school. Or _should_ be. So far, Nina has only been missing for less than an hour. But this abduction reminded the D.C. police of the two recent child abduction cases that they've been investigating over the last six months. Those two cases ended with the deaths of those little girls. So they thought it would be best to call us in early on, in case it is a serial offender. Mrs. Parsons is estranged from her husband, Mark, and they are currently in a custody battle, so I'm hoping _he's_ the culprit, and not this un-apprehended sex offender."

Derek cursed as he thought about it. He hoped that was the case too.

"Ok, where do you need me?" he quickly asked.

"Well, it's a local case, and you're actually closer to the scene of the abduction than we are. We're all going to head out to the school and you can meet us there within the hour. Garcia'll keep us all updated on any developments that take place in the meantime. And, I know you had wanted to take the day off, and start your vacation early, but hopefully the hour'll give you some time to make any adjustments you might need," Hotch said.

"No, I understand, Hotch. And thanks for thinking about me and my plans, but he-" Derek began and paused abruptly, cringing as he found himself about to say "he'll understand." Hotch didn't know Derek had a guest, or that it was a _he—_ namely one Spencer Reid—and Hotch didn't _need_ to know. Derek wanted to keep his supervisor in the dark on that topic as long as was humanly possible.

"Um… it's no problem to change my schedule around. I'll see you guys over at the location. Have Garcia text me the address," Derek said instead.

Hotch was silent for a moment, and Derek was sure the earlier slip-up wasn't lost on the seasoned profiler.

But all he said in response was, "Ok, Morgan. See you there," before he ended the call.

Sighing in relief, Derek set his phone down. He had an hour to get over to a location in D.C. That made things a bit easier for him. The hard part, however, was deciding what to do with Spencer. Derek had intended for them to have a lazy morning, and had wanted to spend it with Spencer planning out an itinerary of things the boy wanted to see or do in D.C. But, now, Derek had to be out of the house, for God knew how long, and he didn't necessarily want to leave Spencer all alone. However, that currently seemed like the only viable option. It wasn't like he could take Spencer to the crime scene with him.

Shaking his head, Derek quickly climbed the stairs to the second floor, where Spencer was most likely still sleeping. Stopping in front of the closed door, Derek knocked lightly. He waited a few minutes, and, hearing nothing, he knocked again, a bit louder. Derek smiled wryly to himself as he remembered fondly the first time he had had to rouse Spencer while working on the case in Vegas. Apparently Spencer would always need more than just a little nudging in the morning. Sighing, he turned the knob on the door and peeked in.

He could see tufts of Spencer's messy chestnut-brown hair sticking out from the top of the covers that the boy had tugged up almost over his head. Apparently, this was his feeble attempt to block out the sunlight that was currently pouring into the room through the large windows. Chuckling softly, Derek walked over to the boy, who he could tell was laying on his side facing the door, and slowly pulled the covers back, until they rested under his chin. Spencer was sleeping peacefully, his pink lips parted as he breathed lightly. Derek stared fondly at the boy's placid face, taking in his high cheekbones and small, straight nose. He hadn't often had an opportunity to just _look_ at Spencer. In any light, and at any time, the boy was really quite breathtakingly beautiful.

Reluctantly, he reached down and lightly shook Spencer's shoulder. It took a few relatively persistent shakes for the boy's brows to furrow and lips to purse in displeasure. Derek had to hold back a grin as Spencer's eyes fluttered open and he blinked up at him in irritated confusion.

" _Yes_?" Spencer asked, voice a little hoarse and tinged with annoyance.

Derek really had to grin then, as the thought ' _hissing kitten_ ' crossed his mind.

"Sorry to interrupt your beauty-sleep, kid. But, unfortunately I got called into work, so I need to be out of the house in about an hour," Derek said apologetically.

Spencer's eyes widened slightly and he seemed more awake. Sitting up, Spencer couldn't do much to hide the disappointment in his face.

"Oh… really?" he asked, as he looked down at the covers bunched up in his lap.

Derek immediately felt guilty.

"Yeah… I'm really sorry about that. But, with this kind of job, sometimes you just gotta go where they need you," he tried to explain.

Spencer nodded, still looking down, and Derek watched as the boy absentmindedly pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and began to nibble on it.

Blinking rapidly to draw his eyes away from a sight that Derek was now certain was his own personal kryptonite, he put a hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"Don't worry though. I made us breakfast, and the case is local so we don't really have to rush. And I promise I'll try to come back as soon as I can. We might lose a day, but, really, we have a lot of time. We'll get to do all the things you want to do," Derek said.

Spencer then looked up at the older man.

"Wait… I have to stay here all day? By…myself?" Spencer asked in confusion.

Derek raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly.

"Well… I can't take you _with_ me," he said, as if it should be obvious.

Spencer flushed.

"I _know_ that. Believe me, I don't want to be anywhere _near_ a crime-scene," Spencer said, as he looked away, a slight edge to his voice.

Derek's frown deepened as he could only imagine Spencer was thinking about all the things that had happened six months ago. But before he could inquire with Spencer about it, the boy let out a sigh and turned back to him.

"I _meant_ ," Spencer said as he gave Derek an exasperated look, "I can go explore the city or something. I don't have to stay in the house. I think… I'd be lonely."

Spencer then dropped his eyes back down to his lap as if somewhat embarrassed by this admission.

"Kid," Derek said as he squeezed Spencer's shoulder causing the boy to look back up at him. "I understand what you're saying, but I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want you just walking around out there. Anything could happen."

Spencer gave him a disbelieving look, tinged with what Derek could tell were the beginning tendrils of annoyance.

"I'll be totally fine. It's not like I'm not _from_ a major city," Spencer said pointedly. "I'm more than capable when it comes to walking places, and I'm great at getting around using the bus and train."

"Not. Gonna. Happen," Derek said as he stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest, hoping to come across as authoritative to the younger male. "You're here for me to show you around the city. And I don't want you going off someplace that might end up being dangerous."

Spencer just stared at Derek. He didn't know if he should laugh or start throwing a fit. Derek was treating him like a _child_. It wasn't like he was going to get kidnapped just by walking around Washington, D.C. It was the nation's _capital_ for crying out loud. But as he looked at the glowering male who was standing over him, he couldn't help but feel somewhat flattered by Derek's protectiveness and sense of concern. It was totally _unwarranted_ , but flattering nonetheless. So, sighing in defeat, he shrugged his shoulders and gave Derek a small smile.

"Can we compromise?" he asked as he looked imploringly up at Derek through his lashes.

Derek had to fight not to roll his eyes.

 _This kid is really trying to pull puppy-dog eyes on me_? He thought to himself. However, he couldn't deny that Spencer looked particularly cute, and the look caused him to relax his imposing posture somewhat.

"What exactly do you think a 'compromise' would be?" he asked, giving in to his curiosity.

Spencer's smile widened.

"Well… I don't want to sit cooped up in the house all day, if you're not going to be here," Spencer said again, and ignored the sight of Derek's mouth turning down into a slight frown. " _But_ I can promise to go to one place and not leave until you're done with work."

Derek still looked like he was going to say 'no,' so Spencer hurried to explain.

"I… realized last night that I forgot to pack _any_ books for the trip. I think I was just really excited and ended up leaving the bag I had packed," Spencer admitted and his cheeks blossomed with a soft pink hue. "So, I was intending on making a stop to pick up some books during my time here anyway. Why don't you take me to a bookstore, like a Barnes  & Noble? I can spend the day reading, and I can get some new books. I wouldn't even have to leave for lunch."

Derek considered the words for a moment, and Spencer knew exactly the moment when the man had decided to give in. Derek had let out a small sigh of defeat and his shoulders had relaxed as the tension drained from his body.

"Fine. I guess that will work. But, kid, I'm serious. You better stay put," Derek said, giving him what he hoped was an intimidating look.

"Promise!" Spencer agreed with a grin.

Derek rolled his eyes. He then glanced down at his watch and saw that he only had about 45 minutes before he had to meet his team.

"Then you better get ready as fast you can. I'll be pretty ticked off if I have to waste that breakfast I made," Derek teased.

And, as if almost on cue, Spencer's stomach growled and he blushed brightly.

"Ah… Well, I definitely don't think it's gonna be wasted," he said, bashfully.

Derek laughed as he shook his head.

"Ok, meet me downstairs," he said with a wink as he turned to leave Spencer's room.

* * *

Spencer had been quick about getting ready, and breakfast had passed pleasantly. When the two of them finally piled into the car about a half an hour later, Spencer couldn't help but comment on the shockingly brisk air.

"Don't worry, early morning and late at night is usually the worst of it. It'll warm up during the day," Derek said as he quickly pulled his door shut to keep out the cold air.

Apparently it didn't do very much since the inside of the car was as frigid as outside and Spencer's whole body shivered as he pulled his seatbelt on. He blew on his hands as Derek started the car, and groaned as he was told he'd have to wait for the car to warm up before the heat would start.

"You really can't handle the cold, huh?" Derek said with a furrowed brow and a half-smile as he turned towards Spencer and grabbed the boy's icy hands.

" _And_ it wasn't so smart to come here without gloves, either, kid," he chastised as he began to rub Spencer's hands within his own.

Spencer stopped trembling enough to stare at the older man's hands wrapped around his own. As soon as Derek's warm, large hands closed around his, memories of the few other times Derek had held his hand popped up in his mind, unbidden. And Spencer's face heated up as Derek brought his own lips close to Spencer's hands and began to blow warm air on them. Spencer made a small sound of surprise and it seemed to alert Derek to what he was doing, causing the older man to sit back abruptly, dropping Spencer's hands in the process.

Turning to the heat controls, Derek turned them all on full-blast.

"That should be better now," he said, avoiding looking at Spencer. "And, we really gotta get you some gloves."

Spencer nodded quietly as he looked down at his pale fingers, still feeling the lingering warmth of Derek's hands. Biting his lip, he tried to hold back the small smile that struggled to break free. He had no way of knowing what, if anything, Derek felt towards him, but it was always a great boost to know that Derek didn't mind touching and being close to him. To Spencer, as long as Derek didn't want to push him away, he could work with anything he was given.

Glancing quickly at Spencer, whose head was down, hair somewhat obscuring his face, Derek sighed to himself as he put the car into drive and pulled out of the parking spot. Derek wasn't sure _what_ he was doing when it came to the kid sitting next to him. He was definitely comfortable around Spencer, but it seemed he was in danger of becoming _too_ comfortable. He had convinced himself that this trip would be strictly platonic, so he couldn't quite understand why he was constantly falling into these thoughtless 'slip-ups.' And the fact that Spencer never reacted negatively to these 'slip-ups' didn't exactly help with his resolve.

In fact, Spencer's response was always a wide-eyed expression, his pink lips parted into an 'oh' shape and his cheeks reddened. It was an expression that Derek was actually more than just a little bit fond of seeing. Pausing in his thoughts, Derek gritted his teeth. He couldn't believe that he subconsciously still _wanted_ Spencer. But seeing Spencer again for the first time in months, and finally being able to see the boy relax, and smile, had convinced him that Spencer deserved for things to be easy for once. Spencer didn't _need_ the stresses that would come from being involved with someone like him. Derek would have to make sure to continue to remind himself of that, while also keeping his distance.

They drove in silence as Derek headed toward the bookstore. It was only about ten minutes away, and was actually on the way to the location of the school, which Garcia had texted him about twenty minutes ago. And, as if prompted by Derek's thoughts, the phone began to ring. Glancing at the car's video display, which provided the name of the caller, Derek let out a disgruntled sigh when he saw the words 'Penelope Garcia.' His car had hands-free capabilities, and he could, and should, answer the call without physically picking up the phone, but Garcia's mouth really couldn't be trusted, and Derek did not want Spencer overhearing anything the feisty blonde might think of to say.

"Kid, this is a work call and I got to take it. I really shouldn't be picking up while driving, but I don't make a habit out of it," he said as he glanced over to Spencer.

Spencer shrugged with a small smile.

"Don't worry, I won't tell on you," he said teasingly.

Derek rolled his eyes as he smirked and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Hey, Mama, what can I do for you?" he said as he answered.

" _Good_ morning, stud muffin," came Garcia's sultry voice. "Did we interrupt your early vacation plans? Is last night's conquest still back at your place, all wrapped up in your sheets, or did you send her home?"

Derek groaned and fought the urge to rub his temples in frustration. Glancing over to the younger man sitting in the passenger seat, he watched as Spencer looked out the window at the buildings and shops they passed by. He could tell Spencer was trying to give him privacy, but he didn't want his reactions to Garcia's comments to tip the boy off.

"It was nothing like that, Garcia," Derek said with a sigh, as he focused his attention on making a turn.

"Yeah _right_ , Derek Morgan. You wanted to take your vacation early, but you had no plans to be out of town. I can only imagine that you wanted to spend that time at home cuddled up with some 'pretty young thang.' Let's all be realistic here. The only thing I really _don't_ know is why you're hiding it from me," she said with an amused laugh.

It sounded more like a mischievous cackle to Derek.

"Garcia, seriously. It's nothing like that, so drop it," Derek said, and this time he really did groan. "Aren't you supposed to be updating me on the case?"

"Derek, who's your favorite resident-genius?" Garcia asked, pretending to be offended, and Derek couldn't help the flush that crossed his cheeks as his thoughts strayed to the genius sitting right _next_ to him.

"You're ridiculous if you think you can just change the subject on me like that," she continued. "You're obviously being evasive, and I'm not falling for it."

"Garcia, really. There's nothing to talk about. So, Case. Updates. Now," Derek said, voice almost pleading.

Then Garcia gasped and he groaned out loud.

"Oh. My. God! Is she in the car right now!?" she asked with surprise.

She then squealed which caused Derek to cringe, and Spencer to look over to him in surprise. Apparently Garcia's high-pitched voice had been loud enough for even Spencer to hear.

"Ok, ok. I'll drop it since I'm sure you can't talk about her freely with her sitting there. But you need to give me major deets later, ok?" she asked, conspiratorially.

"It's nothing like what you think, Mama. So, please, can we focus on work," Derek sighed, as he made another turn. The bookstore should only be about five more blocks away, and Derek looked forward to the relief he would feel once he either got Garcia off the phone or Spencer out of the car. Either would work right now.

"I was mostly calling just to tease you," Garcia said. "However, we do have a small development. The cops who are on the scene have been interviewing the teachers and the students. None of the teachers saw Nina Parsons leaving the school grounds, but a few of the kids saw her get into a dark-blue sedan. Some of them said there was a dark-haired White male sitting in the driver's seat. Both the car and the physical description fit that of Nina's father, Mark Parsons, so the cops are hopeful that this is non-custodial parent abduction and they've put out a BOLO for the dad. Hotch says if you get there before the rest of the team, you can start follow-up questions with some of the witnesses."

"Ok, that's a relief. I mean, it's still dangerous if the guy gets it in his head to try to leave the state, or the country, with the kid, but I'd rather her be with her father than some pervert," Derek said, an edge to his voice.

"I know, I know, sweetness. Those types of cases always get to you, huh?" she asked.

Derek remained silent.

"Well, I do hope everything works out and you guys get that little girl home safe to her mom. I'm rooting for you, sweet-cheeks, and sending good vibrations you guys' way. I'll try my best to get all the dirt on this guy in the meantime," Garcia said.

"I know you will. You always take the best care of us, Baby Girl," Derek said fondly.

"Well, of _course_ I do. I wouldn't let anyone else take care of my babies," she responded.

Derek laughed.

"Ok, I'll talk to you later, sweet thang. Keep us posted," Derek said.

"Will do. And don't think I'm gonna forget about the mystery lady, Derek. You better be ready to spill the next time you see me," she threatened playfully. And as Derek let out an annoyed sigh, she disconnected the call.

Seeing the bookstore come into view, Derek pulled over and tucked his phone back into his pocket.

"Uh…that was a _work_ call?" Spencer asked, with an eyebrow raised in incredulity.

Derek shook his head and laughed.

"That was our technical analyst. She's… 'quirky,'" Derek said as he took a moment to think about the best word to describe Penelope Garcia.

Spencer's brows furrowed, as if he was confused, but he smiled anyway. Derek had sounded really happy talking to this 'Garcia' person, even though it had appeared she had been teasing him for the greater part of the conversation. And while Derek spoke very flirtatiously with her, Spencer could tell there was no real 'heat' behind his words. Derek's voice almost _purred_ whenever he called Spencer 'Pretty Boy,' he thought to himself as his cheeks flushed. He didn't think he had any reason to be worried about 'Garcia.' At least not at the moment.

"Kid, we're here," Derek said, dragging Spencer out of his thoughts. "You good to go?"

"Y-yeah," Spencer said hurriedly as he fumbled with his seatbelt.

"Ok, remember what I said. Stay put. And I'll be checking in with you throughout the day. Hopefully the case won't take too long," he said, already sounding apologetic.

"Don't worry about it, Derek," Spencer said as he gave him a genuine smile. "It's your job. And I totally don't mind hanging out here. There are _so_ many new books I can't wait to check out."

Derek laughed at Spencer's obvious excitement.

"Well, don't spend the entire time you're here reading, kid. Make sure to save some time for me," he said with a wink.

Spencer blushed and laughed awkwardly.

"Um… well, that's definitely the _plan_ ," he said as he licked his lips and looked at Derek.

Derek stared back at him, eyebrow raised, and a moment passed between them where it seemed neither one of them breathed.

Suddenly, the silence was broken by a noticeable 'dinging,' indicating the receipt of a text on Derek's cellphone.

Derek blinked, dragging his eyes away from Spencer's.

"Uh… that'll be work. I'm sure my colleagues are updating me on the case, and I definitely gotta get over to the crime scene, so I've gotta leave you now," Derek said, as he began fishing out his phone again.

"S-sure," Spencer said quickly as he grabbed his satchel and pushed the door open.

When Spencer was halfway out the door, Derek called out to him.

"I'll see you soon, kid," Derek said as he gave Spencer one of his 100-watt grins.

Feeling warmth blossom in his chest like a hot-air balloon, Spencer grinned back and closed the door.

* * *

When Derek arrived at the elementary school, he frowned to see the number of cops, crying parents, and terrified-looking children that were milling about the school grounds. He hated when things like this happened. It taught kids about the realities of monsters in their world. No child should have to experience things like that.

Shaking his head, he made his way over to a group of law enforcement officers and what he assumed were the administrators of the school. Quickly identifying himself, he was apprised of the situation and informed of where he could go to meet with the witnesses the team would want to re-interview. Derek was in the middle of texting Hotch that he was going to start interviewing when he saw two large black SUVs pull up at the curb.

As he saw his team exit, he waved them down as he walked towards them.

"We made good time," Emily said before he could ask.

"Great," Derek said. "There are four students who reported seeing Nina get into the car with a man. There's also a teacher's assistant who might have seen something but she's not sure. Any updates on Garcia's end?"

Hotch nodded as he pulled off his sunglasses.

"Garcia says Mark Parsons didn't show up to work today. When officers showed up at his apartment, they said it looked like luggage and clothing were missing. She also checked his financials and saw that he recently cleaned out his personal savings account, withdrawing almost $10,000 yesterday. Sounds like he was preparing for a trip," Hotch said solemnly, and his team nodded their agreement.

"But, on the positive side, there's no record of anyone having applied for a passport for Nina, and it seems Mark's is expired. So there's very little chance he can get out of the country, at least," Rossi offered.

"And, even better, it doesn't sound like this has anything to do with the serial sex offender," JJ added, sounding relieved.

"Thank God for small miracles," Rossi said with a sigh.

"Ok. So time is of the essence," Hotch said as he looked at each of the members of his team. "I want to talk to the witnesses and see if maybe Nina _knew_ her father was going to come and pick her up today. There might be a chance she told her friends where he was planning on taking her. If we're lucky, he hasn't left the state."

They all nodded and as they began to walk towards the school, Derek felt a tug on his shoulder.

"Sorry to hear your vacation already got cut short," Emily said sympathetically when he turned to look at her.

Derek shrugged and smiled.

"I don't mind, really. I was technically still on-call anyway. And, to be honest, I probably would've been antsy sitting at home knowing you guys were working a child abduction case and I wasn't helping," he admitted.

Emily smiled in understanding, but then a devious look came across her face.

"I _also_ spoke to Garcia… She made it sound like you had a 'house guest' that you unfortunately had to leave high and dry this morning," Emily inquired with a suggestively-raised eyebrow.

Derek rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Jesus Christ, Garcia," he said, half-heartedly as he faked a grimace. "Prentiss, believe me, I have no 'house guest.' At least not the type _Garcia_ is insinuating I do."

Emily blinked in surprise.

"Ok, so, then, what kind of house guest _do_ you have?" she asked as they continued walking.

Derek floundered a bit, and quickly glanced away from her. He then forced a smile.

"You know what? Don't worry about it. We should probably get started on those interviews," he said as he picked up his pace, leaving Emily behind.

She stared after him with a look of disbelief, and narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Em?" JJ called over her shoulder, noticing the dark-haired woman had fallen behind.

When Emily closed the small distance between them, JJ could see that she was looking at Derek's receding back with a mixture of intrigue and amusement.

"What's going on?" JJ asked with a laugh.

"It always confounds me when profilers think they can get something past another _profiler_ ," Emily said with an eye-roll.

JJ frowned in confusion, but just shook her head as she held the door open for her teammate.

"Honestly, I don't think I wanna know," JJ said as she followed Emily inside. "All I want to do right now is find that little girl."

After that, the morning passed in a rush of interviews and following leads. Emily and Hotch had left the school to go to Mark Parsons' apartment, while JJ, Rossi, and Derek had remained to speak with the teachers and students. Mrs. Parsons had met with them at the school, and JJ was currently sitting with her going over her interactions with her ex-husband in the last few weeks to see if there had been any hints as to where he planned on taking Nina. Garcia was also hard at work, tracking toll-road cameras to see if there was any evidence that Parsons had driven out of state. So far she had come up with nothing, and the agents tried to take it as a good sign that the man was still in the area.

Interviewing the students had revealed that Nina _had_ been told by her father that they were 'going on a trip.' But none of her friends could tell much about where that destination was. However, it helped to fill in the blanks as to why Nina went straight to her father's car without the man having had a need to get out of the car and draw the adult-supervisors' attention.

And the most they had been able to find out about Mark Parsons, other than the fact that he was an average pencil-pushing office-type, was that he had recently begun taking psychiatric medications for delusional thoughts. Apparently his ex-wife hadn't been aware of _that_. But, Emily and Hotch had found the prescription bottles in his medicine cabinet, and, after calling in the labels to Garcia, the tech had confirmed what they were for. It didn't bode well that Mark hadn't decided to _pack_ those pills with him in his rush to leave. But, knowing that Mark might be suffering some sort of psychotic-break made the agents believe he was more likely to _not_ be thinking clearly and thus less likely to have plans of going very far out of his comfort zone.

However, even with that information, all they could do, until either his car was spotted or his phone's signal was picked up, was to wait. They had no idea where he or Nina could be. Standing in the bright elementary school hallway, amidst the walls covered in young children's artwork, Derek felt frustrated. This _case_ was frustrating. It was difficult having young children as witnesses, since they were highly unreliable. He also felt that the school administrators were more focused on covering their backs for liability, than they were in recovering the child, as all their responses had been stilted and not particularly forthcoming. As if they didn't want to admit that something about their security protocols were lacking. The teachers had been more willing to help, but most of them had just begun to cry at the prospect of Nina being missing. All in all, no one knew much that could help.

Having finished his last interview, and knowing that Rossi and JJ were currently wrapping up theirs, Derek felt like he didn't know what to do with himself. He was waiting to hear back from Garcia regarding a geographic profile of where Parsons could possibly be, but she was relying on the computer to take care of that and they had often had less than stellar results using that method. Sighing, Derek wondered what Spencer was up to. Glancing back at his colleagues, Derek wondered if he had enough time to sneak away and send Spencer a quick message. Seeing that there was no one in the hallway who seemed to need his attention at that moment, Derek walked around the corner and leaned up against the wall near a 2nd grade classroom.

Pulling out his phone, he saw that he had not received any new messages from Hotch, Emily or Garcia. He also noticed that _Spencer_ hadn't contacted him, and he hoped that everything was fine with the boy. Pulling up Spencer's contact information, Derek opened a new message, quickly typed, ' _Hey, kid? How's it going?_ ' and sent the message off.

A few seconds later, a response-text came in saying, ' _Fine_. _Busy reading. And I hate texting, by the way_.'

Derek couldn't help the grin that broke out on his face. He could already imagine Spencer's annoyed expression.

Feeling like teasing the younger man, Derek wrote: _You're probably the only person your age who's ever said that. You should probably get with the times, Spencer_.

Getting no response, and rolling his eyes as he smiled, Derek sent another message: _If we're lucky, I think this case will probably be wrapped up by the end of the day. Hope you're not too bored just sitting around the bookstore_.

Spencer's response made Derek laugh: _Bored at a bookstore? Derek, please_.

Shaking his head, Derek responded: _Good to hear, Pretty Boy. Stay out of trouble_.

"What's that about?" a voice asked, cutting into Derek's thoughts.

Snapping his head up in surprise, Derek looked up to see David Rossi standing about two feet away from him, arms crossed over his chest and looking at him with a smile.

"What're you talking about?" Derek asked as he slipped his phone into his back pocket.

"Well, you were making a myriad of very interesting facial expressions while looking at your phone. I couldn't help but be curious," Rossi said with a raised eyebrow.

"It was nothing… just checking up on some things," Derek said with shrug.

"Those things are pleasant, I'm guessing?" Rossi said with a wink.

Derek scoffed.

"Don't read into it, man," he said with a feigned eye-roll. " _Just_ texting."

"Well, whatever the 'things' were you were checking up on, I'm glad they're falling into place. It's good to see you finally smiling so widely again," Rossi said as he leaned against the wall next to Derek.

Derek gave him a curious look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, brows furrowing.

" _Well_ ," Rossi said as he closed his eyes and shrugged, "You've been pretty sulky for the past few months. Let's say, about _six_ months to be exact. Ever since we left Vegas…"

Derek stared at him, mouth slightly agape, and when the older man finally opened his eyes again he was smirking.

"I _am_ insinuating that you've been pining over Spencer, if that wasn't obvious," Rossi clarified.

Derek felt his face heating up. Why did it seem like _all_ his coworkers were going out of their way to get ten-feet-deep into his business? On the other hand, he knew that the more he tried to hide the fact that Spencer was visiting—tried to keep the kid all to _himself_ —the more suspicious his coworkers would get. They were profilers; it was in their _nature_ to pay attention to the details around them and try to make conclusions. It wasn't surprising that everyone seemed to have so many questions. But, was it so much to ask to have some _privacy_ to figure things out? Whatever those things were, exactly, Derek couldn't quite say. But, he knew that things with Spencer would be more complicated if the other members of the BAU were given the chance to add their two-cents in.

Shaking his head, Derek schooled his face and gave Rossi a placid look.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," he replied. "I haven't been _pining_ over Spencer. That… that all ended back in Vegas."

"Oh, so you guys didn't keep in touch?" Rossi asked, feigning a look of surprise.

Derek frowned at him.

"Well, I can't say I'm a psychic, so I have no idea _who_ you were texting just now. But I have never seen you smiling with such a goofy grin at a text message before. At least none of the ones _I've_ sent you," Rossi said with a laugh.

Derek still remained silent, hoping that Rossi would catch on that he didn't feel like having this conversation.

"Listen, Derek, I've been watching you ever since we got back from Vegas. We never talked about the 'situation' with Spencer again after that first night I asked you about him, and I have no idea what ultimately happened between you two. But, the first couple of days we were back, you were quiet, brooding, and seemed like you couldn't decide on whether you should feel sad or angry. It was really like watching a train-wreck," Rossi said with a soft chuckle.

"I had assumed that… maybe things didn't go so well with you guys. I didn't know if you had decided to let the kid down easy, or, if, maybe Spencer had changed his mind about his 'feelings.' But, I knew whatever had happened, you felt pretty torn-up. And I thought it'd be best to give you your space before talking to you about it. But, then, a few days after that, something changed and you were suddenly more like yourself again, as if some weight had been lifted off your shoulders. So, I figured, you had either made peace with whatever had happened over there… _or,_ Spencer had been in touch," Rossi said, looking at him knowingly.

"And in the months since then, I _had_ assumed it was over between you two because, while you seemed to be in a better place, mentally, you still seemed to be going out of your way to distance yourself from whatever happened in Vegas. You threw yourself into your cases, were more aggressive in the field, and stayed later at work. And, whenever the Vegas case, or Spencer _did_ come up, you always found a way to exit the conversation, like you didn't want to be _reminded_ ," Rossi said seriously as he looked at Derek.

The younger man averted his eyes, and Rossi sighed as he continued.

" _Then_ , about a month ago, you seemed all excited like a kid who can't wait to open their Christmas present. As the month progressed, you got more and more worked up, and put in for two weeks' vacation. And don't think Prentiss didn't mention that she overheard you talking to Spencer on the phone a few weeks before Thanksgiving about possibly visiting," Rossi said with an eye roll and watched as Derek cringed. "So, I figured things weren't as 'finished' as I first thought they were."

Rossi gave Derek a meaningful look, as if he was waiting for the other man to come clean. But, before Derek could open his mouth—or decide really _what_ he wanted to say—they heard the sound of heeled shoes approaching at a brisk rate. They both looked up to see JJ round the corner holding up her cellphone.

"That was just Garcia," she informed. "She said she got a ping off of a cell-tower near the Maryland border. It's Mark Parsons' phone."

* * *

Spencer had passed the morning and most of the afternoon pleasantly immersed in the land of the written-word. But after Derek had texted him, and he realized it was nearing two o'clock, he had started to feel the tell-tale grumblings of hunger in his stomach and so, grabbing the thick stack of books he had with him, he moved into the café portion of the bookstore. After ordering a large cup of coffee and a just-as-large orange-cranberry muffin, he settled himself into one of the seats near the windows and cracked open a dense book on the formation of the universe.

He sped-read the first 100 pages or so, while nibbling on his muffin and taking long sips from his coffee. But after about 20 minutes, Spencer slowly placed the book down with a frown. The whole time he had been reading he had found it difficult to shake the feeling that there were _eyes_ on him. After what had happened with Adrian Moore, Spencer found that he had become more paranoid and on-edge than he had ever remembered being. He often found himself thinking someone was watching him. Even worse, he sometimes imagined that _Adrian_ was watching him, even though the rational part of his mind knew this could never be true. Adrian Moore was dead. But, sometimes, when the fear of the past gripped him, Spencer found that he had quite a bit of difficulty being 'rational.'

But, this time, although Spencer had been trying to ignore the feeling that had been growing in intensity over the past few minutes, telling himself it was just his 'imagination,' he still felt that 'presence.' And, finally looking up and letting his eyes canvass the café, he was met with a pair of eyes staring right back at him. With a start, Spencer blinked in surprise. The person staring at him was an elderly man, with thinning white hair, and large black-framed glasses. Having been caught, the man smiled kindly at him, and Spencer flushed, wondering why the man was looking. But, doubting the man could be a threat, Spencer forced himself to avert his eyes and look back down at his book. The man was strange, but strange didn't necessarily mean 'dangerous.' Spencer knew there were probably tons of people who thought _he_ was strange, so he told himself to shake it off.

He returned to reading, and after about another five minutes, he found his attention sufficiently re-captured by the book. So he was not expecting it when the chair across from him was pulled out, accompanied by the sound of the legs scraping on the floor, and a thick newspaper was tossed down on the table in front of him. He couldn't control his jump of surprise, and he looked up to see the elderly man now standing mere inches away from him, holding a cup of coffee in his hand, wearing that same kind smile.

"I hope it's no bother for me to join you?" the man asked as he helped himself to the seat he had pulled out. "But, I just found you to be simply fascinating."

Spencer's brows shot up in concern, and he was sure that he looked about as appalled as he felt, if the man's surprised and sudden apologetic expression was any indication.

"No, no! Pardon me. I just meant that I found your _reading_ fascinating," the man explained. "I couldn't help but notice how quickly you were turning the pages. At first I really couldn't quite believe that you could read that fast. I mean, I've _heard_ of people having that skill, but I've never had the pleasure of seeing someone actually in action."

Spencer relaxed almost immediately upon hearing why the man was 'fascinated,' but, instead he blushed at the man's words, feeling a bit awkward.

"You… you don't think it's… you know? _Weird_ , or anything?" he asked shyly.

"Not at all, my boy," the man said with a wide smile and a laugh. "It is _utterly_ fascinating. How many words can you read a minute, really?"

Spencer smiled slightly, albeit still a bit confused about the man's blasé attitude towards his speed-reading. Most people stared at him strangely when they caught him doing it. It had even gotten to the point where he had trained himself to 'slow down' in public so he could avoid the wide-eyed gawking. It was rare that he ever had to utilize his speed-reading in its maximum capacity, in any case, but, as a function of being able to comprehend the words on the page faster than the average reader, his reading speed was still shockingly fast even when he wasn't _trying_.

"Um… I can read an average of 20,000 words per minute, if I want to," he admitted in a soft voice.

"That's splendid! Downright amazing," the man praised him.

Spencer blushed again, and looked down at the table.

"Are you ashamed of it?" the man asked, his confusion apparent.

"Well… it's not exactly _normal_ ," Spencer mumbled, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice.

"Hmm… well, who wants to be 'normal' when you can be _extraordinary_?" the man asked, with a good-natured laugh as he raised his coffee cup to his lips.

Spencer looked up at him and frowned with confusion, but he didn't try to explain to the man all the reasons why he was wrong.

"So… um, you mentioned that you were surprised to see me actually doing it in action, but most people have never even heard of being able to read that fast. Do you study it, or have experience with it?" Spencer asked, hoping to move the subject off of _him_ , personally.

"Hmm…. Experience? Well, I study the _human_ experience, so I guess you could say I have a little bit of experience with everything," he said with a smile.

Spencer stared at him blankly.

"My name's Leonard Burgess. I'm a retired professor. I used to teach in the anthropology department over at Georgetown," the old man explained, by way of a formal greeting.

Spencer blinked in surprise.

"Leonard… _Burgess_!? You… you're the anthropologist that spent twenty years studying indigenous tribes in the jungles of South America. I read your book a few months ago," Spencer said with excitement.

The man looked surprised as well, but pleasantly so.

"Oh, are you a student of anthropology?" he asked with equal excitement.

"Nope," Spencer responded. "I'm actually currently working on degrees in mathematics and engineering. I just picked up your book because I thought it sounded interesting. I read it in my spare time," Spencer said with a smile. "It was well-written and very fascinating."

"Your… _sp-spare_ time?" Leonard asked. "That book was 800 pages long."

"Well, 787, to be exact. But… I _can_ read at a rate of 20,000 words, remember?" Spencer asked as he smiled bashfully. "I read a book on forensic anthropology last week. It's just something I do."

"Ah, I see," the man said with a chuckle. "Truly remarkable. If I was still in the business I would have definitely loved to study _you_ … Ah?"

Spencer blinked as he realized the man was searching for something to call him and that he had never actually given him his name.

"Oh! I'm Spencer Reid. Sorry about that," Spencer rushed out.

The man smiled again.

"Spencer, such a pleasure to meet you. So, may I ask what you're doing here at this bookstore? And with so many books," Leonard asked as he motioned to the tall pile on the ground beside Spencer. "Are you studying for exams? I'd figure all the schools in the area have started their winter break already."

"Oh… I… don't go to school around here. Um, I'm actually here on vacation. Well… more like just visiting...someone. Or… something like that," Spencer mumbled out, not sure exactly how to explain the purpose for his trip. He could feel his face burning and was sure the older man noticed.

Confirming his suspicions, Leonard laughed.

"Ok… so, let me guess, you're here 'just visiting' your _girlfriend_?" Leonard asked.

Spencer's face heated up even more brightly, but, before he could sputter out a response, it was as if Leonard saw something in his expression, and he cut him off.

" _Or_ … a young lady you'd like to _become_ your girlfriend?" he asked with an arched eyebrow.

Spencer just blushed and shook his head as he looked down.

"I don't know _what_ I'm actually doing," he muttered out.

Leonard laughed wholeheartedly at that.

"Well, if you want advice in the matters of the heart, young man, I can tell you a thing or two about it," he said as he took a sip from his coffee.

Spencer looked at him doubtfully. He definitely did not want to talk about his love life—or lack thereof—with a complete stranger. But, on the other hand, he had often heard that talking to people who _don't_ know you was the best way to get your issues off your chest. He assumed that was probably why people found therapy so successful. Spencer didn't believe in 'therapy,' but he also didn't want to be rude.

"Um… I don't think you could really help me with my um… type of 'problem.' But, thanks for offering anyway," he said as he looked down and picked at a muffin crumb on his plate.

"Hmm… well, you don't have to tell me what exactly the problem is. I know we are complete strangers. But, if I can tell you even one single thing about love, it's that you shouldn't wait around for it. If you have feelings for someone, you need to act on it, before it's too late. I have had the unfortunate experience of almost missing my true love," Leonard said with a bit less levity in his voice.

Spencer looked up at him, and could see that there were strong emotions in his eyes. He could tell that the older man wanted to share a story, and he figured that as long as he kept his _own_ mouth shut, there was no harm in listening to the man's advice.

"Um… what happened?" Spencer asked quietly.

Leonard smiled, but it was a sad smile.

"Well, I put my career over love. I met a girl when I was in high school who I knew… I just _knew_ she was 'the one.' Her name was Pauline Fischer… well, everyone called her 'Paulie.' I had never loved anyone like I had loved her. We had never dated back then, mind you, but there was just this 'connection.' But, I was so focused on my goals, that I never took the time to tell her my feelings. Maybe I thought 'what's the point in asking if there was a chance I could possibly be rejected?' I'm not quite sure," Leonard said as he shook his head ruefully.

"There was one moment, a few weeks before we graduated, when she asked me if I could imagine a life for myself if I stayed in our hometown. I knew Paulie was staying and attending college at our state school, but, I had accepted an offer from a school halfway across the country and so I told her 'What's the point of thinking about hypotheticals?' I could tell she was hurt by my answer, and she didn't speak to me again after that. And then I left for college, and I threw myself into my studies once I got there. But there weren't many days that passed when I didn't think of Paulie… What she was doing, what she looked like, who she was with…" Leonard murmured as he looked wistfully down at his coffee cup.

"It wasn't until I was almost 33, had completed my PhD and been offered an associate professorship at Georgetown when we reconnected. Paulie had obtained her MD and specialized in infectious diseases, with a particular interest in prevention and vaccination in children. We were both presenting at a conference. She looked like she hadn't aged a day… like she was the same bright-eyed girl I fell in love with in high school. We started to talk again, flirt, even… I felt like I was 18 again. She told me she was living in the area, working at the Johns Hopkins hospital. She had never married. It… it felt like a rebirth to me, to know that I hadn't really lost her," he continued, his eyes lighting up at the fond memory.

"But a few weeks after we started to rekindle, I was approved for a grant I had applied for… to move to South America to study the indigenous populations there. It was my dream… everything I had worked so hard for, and I just knew I couldn't turn it down. But I was terrified about telling Paulie, because I thought she'd look at me as 'abandoning' her for my career again. But when I explained to her she just smiled at me and said she would just come with me. It was at that moment that I knew that woman truly loved me," Leonard said on a sigh.

"How'd you know she loved you from that?" Spencer asked softly, enraptured by the story.

"Picking up and moving halfway across the globe for another person? That really shows love," Leonard said with a fond smile on his face.

"We spent twenty years living over there, studying the populations and just _loving_ each other. Paulie had to give up her practice, but she was able to contribute meaningfully to the field of disease management with what she studied in the jungles over there. After the first five years, we returned to the states to get married. We wanted children, but it was just never meant to be. But, we regretted _nothing_. Everything about our life was perfect. Every moment. The only thing I regretted was that I hadn't made her mine all those years ago, that I had wasted _time_ ," Leonard said as he looked into Spencer's eyes.

"After we finished our studies, we had a few more good years together. But, Paulie was diagnosed with cancer a few years back, and I went into retirement five years ago to be with my wife in her final moments. It's been four years since my Paulie died," Leonard said with a sad smile.

"I… I'm sorry for your loss," Spencer murmured, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Leonard said with a small laugh. "Paulie was a firecracker. There are remnants of her everywhere around the house. And I can still hear her voice teasing me and putting me in my place. She'll never truly be 'gone,' and definitely never forgotten."

"But the reason I'm _telling_ you this, Spencer, is because you're young. If for some reason you're hesitating, ask yourself _why_. Paulie was the love of my life. I knew that as certainly at 17 as I do now at almost 70. Sometimes you only get one," Leonard said.

Spencer sat quietly, nibbling on his bottom lip as he thought over the older man's words. Leonard watched him as he sipped on his coffee. He could see the gears turning in the youth's head.

"I also believe that you're probably the type to _think_ too much, Spencer," Leonard said with a laugh, drawing Spencer out of his thoughts.

Spencer blushed, but smiled.

"Well… what I'm thinking of doing is probably one of the most illogical things I've done in a long time, and if I think about it too much, I'm probably going to talk myself out of it," he said, cringing slightly. "But, I think I'm gonna go for it."

Leonard smiled, the skin around his eyes creasing with pleasure. It reminded Spencer a little of Derek.

"I'll take my leave, then. Best of luck, my boy," Leonard said as he got to his feet and patted Spencer's shoulder.

As Spencer watched the old man walk away, he steeled his resolve. He wasn't going to play cat and mouse with Derek anymore. Leonard had showed him that there really wasn't time for that. He was going to put his cards on the table and get a serious answer. He still had feelings, and he knew there was nothing that was going to make them just go away. And he was tired of guessing and trying to figure things out on his own. He needed to _know_ if Derek still wanted him. Tonight he would find out for sure.

* * *

About an hour later, federal agents and local police apprehended Mark Parsons at a roadblock a few miles past the Maryland border. He was disheveled and distraught. Nina Parsons was confused but calm. She thought they were just going on a trip. She didn't understand why her Daddy was so upset.

As they pulled the man from the car, he kept murmuring "I just didn't want to lose my daughter."

Frowning, JJ turned to Hannah Parsons, who was currently tearfully reuniting with her young daughter. They had learned on the way to the border that Hannah remembered asking her daughter a few weeks ago if she would like to 'move.' They lived in a tiny apartment after the divorce and, following a promotion at her job, Hannah could now afford a bigger place. She said the thought had been tentative and she was just asking Nina to feel it out, and see if the child would mind leaving her school, friends, and neighborhood. But she wondered if maybe Nina had said something to her father. Hannah had said there would be no way she would have moved without first talking to her ex-husband, and, in any case, her thoughts had been to move to Northern Virginia, only about a half an hour drive from where they lived now.

As Mark Parsons was being led away by Derek and Hotch, JJ could hear him saying, "She wanted to take her away…. I-I had to do _something_."

Shaking her head, she walked over to Emily and Rossi who were leaning against the large black Suburban watching the scene unravel.

"It was a _misunderstanding_ ," JJ explained with a sigh. "He thought she was taking his daughter away. But she didn't even plan on going all that far."

"I'm sure his disorder didn't help," Emily said, echoing her sigh. "The paranoia, coupled with the fact that he thought his ex was hiding something from him, probably drove him to desperation."

Rossi let out a soft 'hmm' of agreement and the three of them watched as Hotch and Derek helped the man into the back of the police cruiser. They could see Hotch discussing something with the lead detective as Derek began to approach.

"It looks like everything's fine with the daughter," Derek said. "She doesn't even seem to know anything was wrong."

"That's good to hear," Emily said, sounding relieved. "She's so young, and her father's sick. It'd be awful if she knew he tried to kidnap her."

"Well, I'm just happy it resolved like this. Things could've gone much worse," Derek said.

"I'd say that's definitely a job well done for us," JJ said with a smile. "I'll let Garcia know everything worked out."

"Ok, everyone," Hotch said as he walked up to them. "Good work. The Maryland and D.C. police are going to handle the rest from here. Let's head back to the office to complete the paperwork and hopefully we can all call it an early night."

The other agents smiled. Sometimes things did turn out alright.

* * *

It was almost six o'clock when Derek pulled up outside of the Barnes & Noble to see Spencer waiting at the curb, smiling, and arms laden with what looked to be five or six shopping bags.

With an eyebrow raised, Derek put the car into park and hopped out of the driver's seat.

"What's with all this?" he asked as he grabbed most of the bags from Spencer and began putting them in the back. "What'd I tell you about spending your time with _me_ instead of with a bunch of books?"

Spencer fought down the warm feeling triggered by Derek's words as he walked over to the car.

"It's not _books_ ," he explained as he climbed in. "I went to the grocery store. There's a Whole Foods a couple blocks down from here."

Derek's brows furrowed as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"I thought I told you to stay put," he said flatly as he switched the car into drive and checked the side-view mirror before pulling out.

Spencer huffed a sigh.

"It was _only_ a few blocks down and still on the main street," he responded.

"Plus," he added as his cheeks reddened slightly. "I needed to go…. I wanted to make you dinner."

Derek's head snapped to look at him incredulously for a second, before he remembered he was driving and turned his head back to the road.

"Uh… kid, you don't need to _do_ that. You're staying with me. I can take care of all of the meals," Derek responded.

"Well… I mean, you're being so hospitable, I thought this was the least I could do. It'd mean a lot to me if I could do that for you," Spencer said.

"Hmm… Well, I gotta say I'm pretty curious to see what you can cook. From the look of you, I always figured you were so skinny 'cause you didn't know _how_ to cook," Derek said, pretending to look apologetic, but Spencer could tell he was teasing him. "Plus, the girls told me how they had to commandeer your shopping trip, and basically force you to stock your kitchen. So, forgive me if I'm a little skeptical."

Rolling his eyes, Spencer chose to ignore him.

"It's not that I don't _know_ how to cook," Spencer defended himself. "It's just that, living by myself, I didn't really feel like there was anyone important to go to the trouble of cooking _for_."

That statement hung in the silence between them for a few minutes, as they both processed it.

Then, Derek gave him a small smile.

"Ok, kid. Well, I'd like to see what you can do then," he said.

* * *

A/N: So…hmm, I said there'd be no 'case-fic' related stuff in this story, but I ended up throwing a cursory case in the background here. Haha. Old habits die hard, huh? But, there wasn't very much to that case. I think I may mention _another_ case in some later chapters, as well. But, again, not very integral to the story. It's just reasons to drag the other team members into the fray. And, gotta love when those Nosy Nellies get involved ;p. I also added the 'wise old man' giving Spencer some advice (aka, a kick in the pants). Wasn't sure about it at first, but now I kinda dig it. Hope you guys enjoyed it as well.

Ok. So, _next_ chapter will probably be what you all have been waiting for. It's what _I've_ been waiting for, at least. Unresolved Sexual Tension finally gets _RESOLVED_ ;D. lol. (But, of course there's gotta be lots of angst before any of that happens ;p)

Please leave me your thoughts and comments. They make my day!

xoxo


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

A/N: Thanks to those who have commented/reviewed, favorited, subscribed, etc., etc. I love to hear from all of you, and it makes me that much more motivated to write, so please keep it up :3

Anywho, I decided to finally post this chapter because I'm in kind of a good mood. It's taken me this long because I've been working and re-working this chapter for ages, and I figured if I keep tweaking it anymore I'll just end up destroying it (D:), haha. So, that's why you get a new chapter today! Yay!

So, following from the events in Chapter 3, let's see how Spencer's 'plan' unfurls. What I'm enjoying while writing this story is being able to characterize Spencer as more sensitive, vulnerable, and self-conscious (in a different way than he was in the original), now that he's gotten a chance to leave the 'sex club life' behind him. However, Spencer's still 'Spencer,' and when he's backed into a corner and doesn't know what to do, he's gonna revert to old tactics. In other words, 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks.' So, let's see how that works out for him this time around ;p. Also, if you haven't noticed, I terribly enjoy a snarky/sassy Spencer, so, be prepared for him to say some ridiculous things, haha.

Head's up: Sex in this chapter. And a whole lot of it. Seriously, this chapter is hella long cuz of the sex scene D:. There are apparently many things wrong with me. I have to give special thanks to my beta, A_WarriorZ_Haven, though, for talking me off the ledge a lot with this chapter, hahaa.

Enjoy!

Xoxo

* * *

When they arrived back at the apartment about half an hour later, Spencer instructed Derek to keep himself busy while he started on dinner. Derek had gladly taken him up on the offer, explaining that he wanted to work off some pent up energy after the case they had had today. So he told Spencer he'd go for a run with Clooney and take a shower when he got back. Agreeing that that was a good idea, and would give him enough time to get everything prepared, Spencer busied himself with starting dinner, and tried to not let himself overthink his 'plan.'

As he checked the potatoes boiling in the pot on the stove, he sighed to himself. He really had no idea what Derek felt about him. And, for some reason, he felt less confident than he had when he had first expressed his interest in the older man all those months ago. He hadn't wanted to believe it when Derek had said it to him, but he _did_ think there was some truth to Derek's concern that the only reason Spencer was acting so 'rashly' was because of the heightened adrenaline that came along with the fact that he was being stalked by a murderer. Spencer had felt so on edge—so afraid—that he had thrown caution to the wind at every turn, and had thrown _himself_ at Derek. Nothing about that changed the way he _felt_ about the agent, but now, with all that stress lifted, Spencer didn't feel as confident in being so… _reckless_.

In Vegas, he had just wanted Derek to touch him, hold him, _consume_ him. He had craved the older man's presence. And he really couldn't think straight. Everything in his life had been turned upside down, and Derek was like some solid beacon in an otherwise stormy landscape. He felt safe with Derek. He felt warm. And he wanted the man to block out all the insanity that was going on around him at that point. He hadn't known Derek very long, but the man was sincere, courageous, and dedicated. He had a black and white conception of right and wrong. He seemed to be the embodiment of all that was good in the world, and that had stood out as especially comforting to Spencer, who had had too many opportunities to personally experience all the bad that the world could offer. Spencer felt like he _knew_ Derek would never hurt him. And that was what he wanted— _needed_ —right then. It was such a novel thing for him—to have someone in his life that didn't want to use him, or didn't expect something in return from him. And it made everything he felt for Derek seem even more _right_.

But, Spencer knew he had acted crazy back then. Even… _slutty_ , Spencer had had to admit to himself as he cringed a bit in embarrassment. He didn't understand why he had done all of that. He couldn't tell if it was because he was so used to the 'disguise' he had been wearing for so many years that his go-to defense mechanism was to act as if he was nothing more than an object. He wondered if he had actually started to _believe_ that. Working at the Club, he had practically had to grow a second skin—be a chameleon. Without that, he would never have been able to make it through all those terrible nights. And when he met Derek, he had wanted so _badly_ to be treasured and wanted by that beautiful and genuine man. He hadn't understood how to act when Derek had told him _no_. He had been wanted by so many people he didn't _want_ to be wanted by, and suddenly when he, for the first time, felt like he wanted to give his feelings to someone else, that person had said NO. It had really hurt.

But, in the end, he actually appreciated that Derek hadn't _used_ him, even though Spencer was practically giving him all the green lights to do just that. Looking back on it, he had felt foolish in the cold light of day. He was embarrassed he had been so shameful and had forced Derek to have to be so firm with him. Spencer knew he had been vulnerable, and it further confirmed his belief in Derek's chivalrousness that he hadn't taken advantage of that, even though that was all Spencer had _wanted_ him to do in that moment. It was immature, and they both knew it. But Spencer now felt differently about what he 'wanted' from Derek.

Spencer knew he hadn't figured many things out just yet, but one thing he knew with certainty was that, even with all these new revelations he had been discovering about himself, nothing about the experience changed how he felt about _Derek_. Nothing changed all those tender moments when Derek had been holding his hand; or that last gentle kiss Derek had given him, to help give him confidence, before he had to go to the Princes' Ball; or the way Derek had touched him, stroked him, and made him feel cherished in the darkness of his bedroom on their last night together. But, ultimately, Derek had left him. He knew _why_ he had done it. But, Spencer still had feelings for Derek, and he didn't want to be rejected again. He didn't know if he could survive that. Instead of 'right here, right now,' which was all he had been able to think about during the case back in Vegas, Spencer wanted something more _permanent_. Or, at least something with more meaning. Something real…

Flicking off the burner, and proceeding to strain off the water, Spencer bit his lip thoughtfully. That night, so many months ago, Derek had given him a lot of reasons for why they couldn't be together. And, of course, all of them made pretty good sense. But, they had also seemed… convenient. Spencer might've spent the last few years of his life taking off his clothes for money, but that hadn't done anything to make him any less perceptive or intelligent. He knew Derek had left things with them 'open-ended' on purpose. Derek didn't want to say anything too committing. He seemed as if he wanted a chance to back away gracefully, if he had to. As if the thought of them together was a nice dream, but probably wouldn't work out in reality. But Spencer wanted to convince Derek that he was _worth_ trying for.

And it wasn't that Spencer believed he was anything special, or that he could compete with anyone else in Derek's life. Derek was gorgeous. He was charismatic. He had an amazing smile, awe-inspiring body, and deep, beautiful eyes. And, the low, sultry timbre of his voice would make anyone's toes curl. And while Spencer knew nothing about the older man's love life, he didn't have to be a genius to imagine Derek had _no_ trouble finding interested partners. Spencer didn't know what _he_ could offer Derek that would pull his attention away from some pretty woman. Spencer could be honest with himself about himself. He knew he was young, and, to a certain extent, rather inexperienced. He was lanky and too skinny. And he knew he was _weird_ —there was no getting around it. He could be sulky and sullen, but at other times over-excited and hyperactive. He, more often than not, spoke without thinking, and, when he did, he spoke too _much_. And he was all-around just unrefined. Derek probably wanted someone more mature. Spencer knew that, with all these flaws, he didn't have much of a chance at getting, and keeping, the older man's attention. But, he wanted Derek to want him, because Spencer wanted _Derek_. Badly.

"Mmm," Derek moaned softly as he walked into the kitchen.

The sound startled Spencer, who jumped slightly, and his face heated up. Glancing back at Derek he hoped the older man hadn't noticed. When his eyes landed on him, Spencer could see that Derek was standing there, with a wide smile on his face, dressed in loose jeans and a simple black t-shirt, that clung to the muscles of his chest. He could smell the fresh scent of whatever body wash Derek had used wafting over to him from across the kitchen, and it made his mouth begin to water. He swallowed nervously, and turned his eyes back to the potatoes.

"Everything smells _really_ good, kid," Derek said as he hovered over the closed pots and dishes in the kitchen.

"Don't peek at anything!" Spencer warned over his shoulder.

"Ok, ok," Derek said as he took a step back and grinned, holding his hands up. "But, really, how'd you learn to cook like this?"

"Well," Spencer said as he turned off the rest of the burners and the oven, deeming that everything was done. "I taught myself. When I was around ten or so."

" _Ten_?" Derek asked curiously.

"Yup… Well, that was around the time my dad left. My mom wasn't doing such a great job at feeding us, so I figured I really had no choice but to learn," Spencer said flippantly as he began to mash the potatoes. "I read as many cookbooks as I could. I thought I could teach myself anything by just reading, but cooking was a bit harder than I had imagined it would be."

Derek watched at the boy grimaced jokingly, as if he was making fun of himself. It hadn't slipped by Derek that Spencer had spoken about struggling to feed himself and his mother when he was just a child, as if it was something insignificant. But, he also knew the boy had probably skirted over it because he didn't _want_ to talk about it. So, Derek respected Spencer's privacy, even though the thought of it distressed him.

"So, you found a way to get better at it?" he asked instead.

Spencer looked up at him and smiled, almost proudly.

"Yeah, it definitely took a lot of trial and error, though. And, believe me, a lot of the first meals were mac 'n cheese, soups, and casseroles. But, by the time I was about 12 I had gotten pretty good at it," Spencer said.

"Looks like it," Derek said as he nodded towards the spread of dishes.

Spencer's cheeks reddened slightly. He looked almost bashful, and Derek couldn't help but to find it endearing.

"Well, I'm almost done with everything here. So, can you make yourself scarce for ten minutes?" Spencer asked with a smile. "I want to set the table and surprise you."

Derek smiled back at him, eyes crinkling at the corners the way Spencer loved.

"Sure thing. Just let me know when you're done," Derek said with a wink before strolling out of the kitchen.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Spencer called out to Derek, who had been upstairs checking his emails, and when the older man strolled into the kitchen his eyebrows rose in surprise. Derek was definitely impressed.

The main lights had been shut off, and the kitchen was illuminated by the soft under-cabinet lighting and a number of candles on the counters and island. Laid out on the large island was a makeshift wine-red tablecloth, atop of which sat fresh bread in a basket and salad in a glass bowl. There were two prepared plates at either end of the table featuring what looked to be rather large steaks, topped with sautéed onions and mushrooms, a side of mashed potatoes and roasted asparagus. There was even a dark bottle of wine. Derek's eyebrow rose at that, knowing there was no way Spencer should've been able to purchase that since he was underage, but he figured one bottle of wine wasn't a major offense and decided he wouldn't comment on it.

More than anything, what Derek noticed was that the atmosphere was somewhat… _romantic_. But, seeing Spencer standing there, looking like a kid waiting for their parent to praise them on a perfect report card, Derek told himself he was reading too much into it.

"It all looks _really_ great, kid," he said, watching as Spencer's face broke out into a wide grin.

"Good to hear," Spencer said excitedly as he motioned Derek further into the kitchen. "Now sit down."

Derek didn't have to be told twice.

Dinner passed pleasantly, with Derek singing Spencer's praises over his cooking. The food was simple but flavorful, and he felt strangely appreciative that Spencer had done this for him, as if Spencer was sharing a part of himself that he had otherwise kept private. Every time Spencer revealed more about himself, Derek felt like he was privy to some big secret. It made him happy to see more and more of the stand-offish, distrustful shell, that Spencer had worn when he first met him, peeling away.

Throughout dinner, Spencer told him more about his studies and recounted a strange, albeit pleasant, experience he had at the bookstore earlier that day when he met an old, retired professor. Derek, in turn, talked about his day and told Spencer a bit about the case. He couldn't really speak about the details, but instead he shared his initial frustrations with being unable to find the 'Unsub' and then the sense of calming relief when they were able to rescue the little girl, unharmed. Derek had a glass of wine, and jokingly told Spencer that he would 'let it slide' if the younger man wanted to have one too. But, after that, he had restricted everything else they drank to water.

As they finished the last bites of their meals, Derek leaned back and let out a sigh of contentment.

"That was really, really, good, Spencer. No kidding. One of the best steaks I've had," Derek said as he smiled fondly at the younger man.

"I'm really glad to hear you liked it," Spencer responded, cheeks reddening slightly, as he got to his feet and began to clear the plates. Derek began to rise to help, but Spencer motioned for him to sit back down.

As Derek sipped at his drink he watched Spencer out of the corner of his eye. His eyebrow arched in slight concern as he thought he noticed that Spencer looked tense. But, he couldn't see any reason for him to be uncomfortable, so he chalked it up to his imagination.

"Are you ready for dessert?" Spencer asked a bit shyly as he walked back and took his seat across from Derek.

Derek's eyes widened and he grinned, all thoughts of Spencer acting strangely flying from his mind.

" _Wow_ , dessert too? What did I ever do to deserve such good treatment?" he asked with a laugh. "Hell yeah, I want dessert, kid. What've you got?"

It seemed as if Spencer hesitated for a moment, and Derek was going to ask him what was wrong, but then Spencer reached across the table, grabbing Derek's hand. Derek flinched at the touch, not prepared to feel Spencer's skin like this after having not felt the boy for so long. It didn't feel like the accidental touches they had been sharing since Spencer arrived. This felt more _intimate._ Confused, Derek stared down at Spencer's hand lying above his own. He then brought his eyes up to meet Spencer's and his breath hitched. Spencer was looking straight at him, but his eyes were dark, lids slightly lowered and something about the boy's expression made Derek's heart—and other parts of his body—throb.

"How about _me_ for dessert?" Spencer asked, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

Derek's eyes widened upon hearing the offer and he immediately tugged his hand free of Spencer's.

"Uh… kid… I… Spencer, this is _not_ a good idea," Derek managed to say.

Spencer pulled his hand back from where it had been abandoned on the table, and sat back, a hurt expression clear on his face.

"Why?" he asked softly.

Derek sighed as he sat back as well. The atmosphere in the room had gone from comfortable and relaxing, to a tense and loaded silence. Derek had been telling himself for the last few weeks before Spencer's visit that there wasn't going to be anything between them. He had been trying to convince himself that Spencer's feelings had waned and that that was, honestly, for the best. He never thought Spencer would reinitiate any of this. Derek wasn't _prepared_ for this. But he could see Spencer's brows furrowed in consternation, as the boy looked down at his hands on the table, and it broke his heart to think that Spencer was feeling rejected by him. But, then Spencer looked up at him, and what Derek saw in the boy's eyes was determination. And he swallowed apprehensively.

"Spencer…" Derek warned tentatively, as he watched Spencer get to his feet.

Ignoring him, the boy walked around the table, lightly tracing his fingers over the top, as he approached Derek, eyes downcast and bottom lip caught snugly between his teeth.

"The last time… you know, when we were together… didn't you like it? Didn't it feel good?" Spencer asked as he stopped in front of him and looked down at Derek with need in his eyes.

Derek felt his mouth go dry. And he wanted to kick himself, because, no matter how much time had passed, Spencer would always have an immediate, and profound, effect on him

"O-of course," Derek breathed out, eyes drawn down to Spencer's plump lips.

And then, as if he had been given the go-ahead, Spencer was leaning in, placing his hands on Derek's shoulders and pressing his lips against his. It was like sparks had gone off when their lips touched, and a soft moan slipped out past Derek's lips. Spencer, seeming to have liked Derek's response, moved to stand between his legs and deepened the kiss. His soft lips parted against Derek's and his tongue peeked out to lick gently at Derek's wide mouth, and this time Derek moaned much more loudly.

But Derek prided himself on having an ironclad will, and that was the only thing that allowed him to pull back from Spencer's lips, gently push the boy away, and get to his feet. In the dimly-lit kitchen, with the flickering candle-light, Spencer stood about a foot away from him looking like he wanted the older man to just take him. But Derek couldn't do that.

"Spencer… it's been a long time. I thought you had… you know, changed your mind about me. Don't you think that's _better_?" Derek asked as he ran his hand over the back of his head, a clear sign of his agitation, and stepped further away from Spencer.

Spencer frowned at him, confusion apparent.

"Why would I think _that_?" he asked.

"Because you've actually had time to _think_ about all of this?" Derek asked, sounding a bit annoyed. "And you've realized that maybe this is a little crazy? And maybe it doesn't make sense for you to want to be with me when you could be with _anyone_ else? You've got your life together now, kid. You don't need… whatever it is you think you need from me."

Spencer blinked at him, eyes wide in incredulity.

"What are you saying?" he asked, carefully.

"Spencer… it's what I've been saying before. I thought you would've come to your senses. You know, seen that a lot of what you were feeling were emotions you had 'cause you were just caught up in the moment. And that you don't really want 'me;' you just like the _idea_ of me. You haven't had a chance to really figure out what the right kind of relationship is for you. And you're so _young_. You… you just need to reconsider this," Derek said, trying to reason with him.

Spencer glared at him, eyes flashing in anger.

"Oh, really? If you weren't aware, I had a birthday in October so I'm already _twenty_ now! I'm older than I was the last time I was with you, and back then you sucked me off," he spat.

Derek could only stare at the younger man, speechless, as his face heated up at the frank accusation. It didn't take him long to recover, however.

"That… I admit, may not have been the _best_ idea," Derek grumbled out as he avoided Spencer's eyes.

But what he _couldn't_ avoid was how Spencer's words had brought back vivid images of the last time he had been with the boy. And, yes, Derek definitely remembered how it felt and tasted having his mouth all over Spencer's skin. Everything in his body was telling him to throw caution to the wind and press his mouth back on to Spencer's pink lips, devouring the boy. But he really—honestly and truthfully—believed that Spencer would be better off if he didn't get involved with him.

"It was… _unprofessional_ ," Derek said, instead, looking at Spencer seriously. "Everything about what I did with you was unprofessional, and I shouldn't have done it."

Spencer gritted his teeth, and willed himself to push down the aching feeling he felt rising through his chest at Derek's words. He didn't understand. Was Derek saying that what they had done together was a _mistake_? That he hadn't wanted Spencer after all? But, Spencer didn't know how he was supposed to believe that. Every time he had touched Derek, the older man had responded. And it was _Derek_ , during that last night in Vegas, who had finally been the one to take them further than they had gone before. And even now, Derek had moaned when Spencer had kissed him. Didn't that mean that Derek _wanted_ him? So what was the problem?

They looked at each other silently, Spencer breathing somewhat rapidly, and Derek, calm, but looking troubled. He wouldn't meet Spencer's eyes. And then it dawned on him that Derek seemed like he felt… _guilty_.

"It's not 'unprofessional' _now_ is it?" Spencer asked as he looked at Derek seriously. "Adrian Moore's _dead._ And that's because of you and the other members of your team. I'm no longer a 'victim,' Derek, and you're not working any cases involving me. You wouldn't be doing anything wrong."

"But… everything about that… I was there to _protect_ you. And letting anything else get in between that was a breach of trust," Derek said, hands balling up into fists in his frustration.

"But I _trust_ you. Nothing you did hurt me. Nothing you did hurt the _case_ in any way. It was the complete opposite. You were the best thing that happened to me in a _long_ time," Spencer admitted, somewhat embarrassedly.

Derek shook his head as he backed further away, as if hearing Spencer say that made him even more certain that this was the wrong choice.

"Spencer… I can't be proud of the way I acted during that case. I… I _monopolized_ you. I didn't let anyone else spend time with you. I volunteered to be the one taking shifts to watch you. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that you would become attached to me. I didn't let anyone else get close," Derek said, sounding disgusted with himself.

The admission from the older man made Spencer blush, but he also felt his heartrate quicken at the knowledge that Derek had gone out of his way to be with him all those times.

"But… I liked all of that. It… it made me really happy to have been able to spend those moments with you. I don't see what the problem is, Derek," Spencer said softly, as he stepped closer.

"I don't want to take advantage of you!" Derek barked, finally bringing his eyes up to meet Spencer's.

Spencer flinched, stopping in his tracks. He then glared at the older man.

"Take _advantage_ of me? Really? This again? What? Is it because I'm 'too young,' or is it because you still think I'm too stupid to be trusted with making my own decisions?" Spencer retorted.

" _No_ , because I think _you_ still think you have to trade sex for affection," Derek stated pointedly. "It's like you don't know the difference!"

Spencer's eyes widened at Derek's flippant remark. He didn't know if he should be enraged or ashamed. Either way, Derek's statement made him feel like shit.

"If that was really the case, then I would've fucked the first guy that was nice to me at school. Or, do you think that's what I've _been_ doing?" he asked, eyes hard as he stared Derek down.

Derek frowned as he mulled over Spencer's words. He actually hadn't let himself think too much about who Spencer might have been with during his time at school. Or, it was more like he hadn't _wanted_ to let himself think about it. He knew there was obviously a _possibility_ , but something in his mind wanted to think that Spencer would be more discriminating in his partners. He didn't think he'd give himself to just _anybody_.

"No… No, I don't think you would do that," Derek said softly, but Spencer could hear the genuineness in his voice. "But… Well, even if you _did_ , kid, that's none of my business. I just want to make sure that you're with someone for the right reasons. That you care about them, and they care about you. Not someone who's gonna use you."

Spencer frowned, but he felt the tension leaving his body. Derek wasn't trying to call him a whore. He was just apparently still overly committed to his role as the 'protector.' And it bothered him that Derek thought that Spencer wanted to be with him only as some sort of 'replacement' for affection. Why did Derek seem to want to place himself on the lowest rung of the people he deemed worthy of Spencer's affections?

"And…do you think _you're_ somebody who would use me?" Spencer asked him.

"No," Derek responded without a moment of hesitation.

"Then… why won't you just… just take what I'm offering?" Spencer asked, and he blushed at his words, knowing that he sounded just like he had all those months ago. He sounded desperate. But he didn't know how to convince Derek to want him… that it was _okay_ to want him.

Derek looked away and Spencer could hear him sighing. Derek wanted to tell Spencer that he didn't know how to be in a 'relationship.' How was he supposed to show Spencer what a loving, healthy relationship was like, when all Derek had spent his time doing over the past few years was running from state to state solving cases and getting laid when he had free time in between. The idea of a relationship _sounded_ great to him, in theory, but he had never been with someone who had made him want to be in one. Of course, Spencer had him rethinking that. But, he was still uncertain if he would ultimately break the kid's heart. It was a scary thought.

Instead of expressing these concerns to Spencer, all he could bring himself to say was, "How do you know this isn't just something fleeting?"

Spencer rolled his eyes and let out a huff of disbelief.

"It's been six months, Derek, and I'm _here,"_ Spencer said as he averted his eyes, still feeling somewhat embarrassed about admitting it. "I'm not confused about my feelings for you. I wouldn't have come to you, at the first chance I got, if I wasn't sure about that. I did what you told me to do before you left me… I purposefully didn't talk to you for six months, thinking that maybe you were right—maybe it was transference and that my feelings might change with distance and time. But, no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about you and how strong my feelings are for you."

Spencer willed himself to meet Derek's eyes again.

"I… I, you know, I tried to see if maybe I could feel the same way about someone else. I even… Well, someone at school asked me out once. And I didn't want to go, but I know you told me to try dating other people, so I forced myself to accept and I went. And he was nice, and sweet, and he didn't think I was weird when I made a joke about existentialists. But… I just… I didn't _feel_ anything like what I feel for you. A-and when he tried to kiss me, I just… I kinda freaked out and told him no. I didn't want anyone but you touching me," Spencer admitted, feeling his face burn.

Derek stared at Spencer in surprise, too stunned to say anything. And as the silence dragged on, Spencer began to feel more and more foolish. He didn't know what else he could do to get Derek to accept him. To reach out to him. Spencer knew that something was holding Derek back. He just didn't know what it was. But he also didn't think it should _matter._ Derek was thinking so much further ahead than Spencer even wanted to. Spencer just wanted Derek to touch him and kiss him, and _be_ with him. Wasn't it ok for them to figure the rest out later? But, if Derek wasn't even willing to think about that, what hope did Spencer really have?

Sighing in defeat, Spencer turned determined eyes on to the older man standing across from him, who was looking as if he was contemplating his exit-strategy. And Spencer didn't want that.

"I… I don't get why you're hesitating so much, but… I have my pride too, Derek. So, this is the last time I'm going to ask you. After this, I… I won't bring it up again, ok? I won't make the option available to you anymore. Now, with the case over, and Adrian Moore…gone… Knowing you don't have to _protect_ me anymore; knowing you don't owe me some type of moral 'duty'…" Spencer said as he held Derek's eyes, "Do you WANT me?"

A moment passed between them as Derek stared hard at Spencer. The younger man's eyes were dark, his cheeks flushed and his pink lips parted. Spencer was breathtaking, and Derek didn't know what to do. He hadn't yet been able to wade through his feelings. He hadn't yet decided if he _could_ give Spencer what he needed. But, all he knew was that hearing Spencer tell him he would never get the chance again after today—that after this it would all be 'off the table'—made his mind up for him. He wasn't willing to let him slip out of his fingers.

"Fine!" Derek said as he threw his hands in the air. "But, _you_ wanted this! Don't tell me later that you regret it!"

Spencer opened his mouth to retort, but before he could get a word out, Derek was on him. He gasped as he felt the older man's mouth roughly claim his own. Derek kissed him harder than he ever had before and it literally stole his breath away. It was shocking and thrilling at the same time. And as Derek pushed him up against the closest wall, Spencer felt a jolt of arousal shoot straight down to his groin.

He groaned as Derek pressed his hips against his, grinding into him and letting him feel his growing erection. Spencer enthusiastically pressed back, as Derek's hot tongue pushed into his mouth. Gripping Derek's shirt firmly, Spencer wasn't sure if he was holding on to keep himself standing, or simply to get closer as Derek began to plunder his mouth. Pulling back, just enough that he could catch Spencer's swollen bottom lip between his teeth, Derek chuckled as he heard Spencer whimper in pleasure.

"Let's go upstairs," Derek breathed against his lips, sending a shiver through Spencer's body.

Nodding dumbly, still trying to recapture Derek's lips, Spencer felt himself being turned around and led towards the stairs. He stumbled a few times on the first steps as he tried to turn and keep contact with Derek at the same time. Spencer's hands and lips were everywhere and Derek knew the two of them would get nowhere if the boy didn't focus on getting up those stairs.

Grabbing Spencer's hands and holding them above his head, Derek pressed him up against the wall in the stairwell and kissed him hard enough to make the boy moan loudly. Grinning against Spencer's lips, Derek couldn't help but think that it sounded like Spencer would swoon at any minute. Holding Spencer in place with the weight of his hips, Derek moved his mouth to Spencer's neck, sucking on the skin between his shoulder and neck. And in response, Spencer mewled and shivered against him, going almost limp in Derek's arms. Satisfied, Derek pulled Spencer away from the wall and, to the boy's surprise, lifted him and hefted him over his right shoulder. Spencer let out a yelp as Derek slapped his butt, and held on as the older man quickly jogged up the stairs.

* * *

Kicking his bedroom door open, and making sure to shut it right behind them, Derek entered the lamp-lit room and walked the squirming boy over to the bed. He then tossed Spencer down on to the mattress, causing him to let out a soft huff of surprise. Spencer looked up at him with wide eyes, but there was lust darkening those honey-colored orbs. And then he licked his lips.

Fighting back the urge to growl at the tempting sight, Derek stalked towards Spencer and climbed on top of him. Leaning down over the doe-eyed boy, Derek recaptured his lips, groaning as Spencer brought his arms up around his shoulders and thrust his hips against him. The kissing quickly turned more passionate, as Derek and Spencer's tongues warred with each other. Derek loved the way Spencer kissed. It was so needy and hungry, but showcased his inexperience at the same time.

With his tongue still preoccupied with exploring every corner of Spencer's mouth, Derek brought his hands down to Spencer's shirt. Pushing them under the fabric, Derek let his fingers skate over the warm smooth skin, feeling the muscles quivering beneath. Spencer moaned breathily against his lips and Derek could feel the boy's hands shift as they moved around to his front and began to work at the buckle on Derek's belt.

Thrusting his hips against Spencer's, Derek could feel the boy's erection pressing back against his own. He groaned at the feeling, mind already consumed with thoughts of tearing both their clothes off and sinking down in between Spencer's soft thighs. But there still remained a small sliver of control in him as he sighed and pulled his lips away from Spencer's.

 _Slow down_ , he warned himself. _This is probably still his first time._

Sitting back and hearing Spencer's whimper of confusion at the loss of contact, Derek grabbed Spencer's hands, stilling them.

"We gotta slow down, kid," Derek said, panting.

Spencer made a sound of disbelief as he looked up at Derek.

"Derek, I swear to God, if you stop now-" Spencer threatened, his voice a mix of anger and desperation, bordering on hysterical.

Derek sighed in frustration as he gave Spencer a hard look. The lust and want was apparent in his eyes and Spencer paused in his tirade, mouth going dry.

"I'm _not_ stopping unless _you_ tell me to. Believe me, I don't have the control to do it on my own anymore," Derek almost growled out, looking meaningfully at Spencer.

The boy's face heated up at the intensity of the older man's stare, and the obvious need in his voice. Derek wanted him. And apparently, _badly_. It caused a tremor of desire roll through Spencer.

"Derek, you don't have to go slow. Just fuck me. _Fuck me_ ," he almost whined as he wrapped his legs around Derek's waist trying to pull the older man down on top of him. "I really, really want you."

Derek swallowed thickly and he felt his cock throb in response to Spencer's words. But he was able to ignore his desires, and hold Spencer down easily with one hand pressed against the boy's sternum.

"Spencer, we _have_ to go slow. I don't want to hurt you," Derek said as he pulled away. "Besides… isn't it still your first time?"

Spencer flinched and frowned up at Derek. One part of him wanted to just lie and say 'No,' so that Derek would just hurry up and do it already. The older man was always so gentle with him, treating him with kid-gloves. He didn't want to be made to feel like some fragile doll. On the other hand, he _hadn't_ been with anyone before or after Derek, and lying about it made him feel like he was being in some way 'unfaithful.' Spencer knew that was a crazy thought because he and Derek were definitely not 'involved' and neither one of them owed anything to the other in terms of having other partners. But, all Spencer had been able to think about in the last six months had been Derek. And, being completely honest, it _did_ mean something for Derek to be his first.

So, Spencer sighed in defeat and averted his eyes.

"Yes…" he admitted reluctantly.

"Then we need to take our time, baby boy," Derek said, with a lazy smile, as he nuzzled his face against Spencer's neck. "But, believe me, you're gonna enjoy it."

Spencer trembled at the whispered words against his skin.

"Ok, ok. Then take your shirt off already. Please?" Spencer said as he pushed his hands down between their bodies and began to pull on the hem of Derek's t-shirt.

Derek chuckled as he leaned back, allowing Spencer's searching hands to grip the fabric firmly and pull it up and over Derek's head. He watched as Spencer bit his lip and let out a soft sound of appreciation as his chest came into view. Spencer hesitated only briefly before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Derek's heated chest. Derek groaned as Spencer's hot mouth kissed a searing path over his collarbone and pecs, and then finally settled on his nipple. As Spencer's mouth latched on to the hardened nub, Derek grabbed the boy's hair, tugging appreciatively as tendrils of pleasure pulsed through his body. Derek could feel himself getting even stiffer in his pants, and he tightened his arm around Spencer's back, pressing the boy closer to him.

Leaning over Spencer, as the boy's mouth resumed kissing and licking a hot, wet trail across his chest, Derek blindly reached into his bedside table drawer, feeling around until his hand closed around what he had been searching for. Pulling back, Derek tossed the bottle on to the bed and he grabbed Spencer, pulling him up to catch the boy's lips in a heated kiss. His hands flew to Spencer's chest, running over the boy's nipples through his shirt. Spencer panted, blowing warm breaths against his lips, and Derek nipped at the boy's lips, in return, as his hands ventured lower, itching to begin divesting Spencer of his clothing. As usual, Spencer was wearing layers, and they both worked together to hurriedly pull his cardigan off, followed by his t-shirt.

Once Spencer's arms were free of the tangle of clothing, Derek pushed him back down on the bed, straddling his hips. Splayed out below him, hair tousled, chest flushed, and panting, Spencer looked delectable and Derek let his eyes take in the sight. Everything about the boy screamed sex, and yet at the same time he was tantalizingly innocent. Spencer's parted, diamond-shaped mouth; his wide, glistening eyes; his pale and soft, yet at the same time sinewy, body—Derek wanted to see all of it come to life as he brought Spencer to the heights of pleasure.

As Derek's eyes raked down Spencer's heaving chest, watching the boy as he watched him back, Derek brought his large hands up to lovingly stroke over Spencer's pale chest. Spencer moaned again, but this time it was similar to a soft sigh of pleasure. Licking his lips, Derek leaned down, pressing his face in the crook of Spencer's neck and breathing in deeply.

"So, so gorgeous, do you know that?" Derek breathed against the skin, as his hand ghosted over Spencer's side and ribs.

When Spencer whimpered in response, bucking his hips slightly, Derek moved his lips upwards, licking and biting at Spencer's earlobe. Spencer immediately brought a hand up to his mouth, in an attempt to muffle any further sounds. But Derek laughed and grabbed Spencer's hand, moving it from his mouth and placing it on his own ass.

"What'd I tell you about letting me hear that sweet voice of yours?" he asked, as he continued to pull at Spencer's flesh with his teeth. "You can keep your hands busy here, instead."

Locking lust-hazed eyes with him, Spencer squeezed Derek's ass and brought his mouth up to kiss the other man hungrily. Humming his approval, Derek's hands quickly dropped down to Spencer's jeans and began to tug at the button until it sprung free. With the jeans loosened, Derek pushed his hands beneath the waistband of Spencer's briefs, cupping and stroking the hard, heated flesh in the palm of his hand. Spencer gasped and pulled his mouth away from Derek's, moaning as the man's cool hand came in contact with his hot skin. He couldn't help but buck wildly up into Derek's touch, as he threw his head back against the pillow.

"Slow down, slow down," Derek chastised with a laugh as he pulled his hand away. "Don't want you finishing too fast."

Spencer let out a whine of frustration but his scowl quickly turned into a devious smirk as he brought his thigh up, in between Derek's spread legs, earning a pleased groan from the man above him as he pressed into the obvious bulge there.

"Hmm, you trying to finish _me_ now?" Derek asked as he pressed Spencer's hips down with both hands.

Spencer only smiled up at him sweetly, licking his lips innocently. But, Spencer wasn't all that innocent. He had caught on by now that Derek liked looking at his lips. The older man's eyes often shifted focus and would drop down to his mouth when they were talking. At first it confused Spencer, but now that he knew _what_ Derek was looking at, he didn't often pass up an opportunity to gain the man's attention.

And, like clockwork, Derek's eyes darkened as they followed the path of Spencer's tongue, swiping over his pink mouth. Growling softly in appreciation, Derek leaned in to recapture his lips, sucking and biting at them. As Spencer kissed him back, Derek's large, warm hands skirted down Spencer's sides to his hips. And then he felt Derek's fingers hook into his underwear and begin to tug. He could tell Derek intended to pull down his underwear along with his jeans, but Spencer felt a sudden wave of self-consciousness.

"Wait, wait," Spencer said with a gasp, as he pulled away from Derek's mouth. "What about the _lights_?"

"The lights stay on this time, Spencer. I want to see all of you," Derek said looking up at him with darkened eyes.

Spencer's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed at Derek's intense gaze.

"Um…" Spencer hesitated as he looked away, but Derek's hand was stroking his face, drawing Spencer's eyes back to his.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. You think I'd be here right now, like _this_ ," Derek said as he pushed against Spencer again, letting him feel his hardness, "if I didn't find you incredibly sexy?"

Spencer blushed and closed his eyes.

"I don't um… like looking at my body," he admitted softly.

Derek sighed as he kissed the boy's cheek.

"Well, _I_ do. So let me look at it for you. I'll show you all the things that are beautiful about it. And maybe you'll learn to like it too," he whispered in Spencer's ear.

Spencer shuddered. He loved the feel of Derek's warm breath and hot mouth against his ear. Even though he was embarrassed, Spencer didn't want Derek to stop. Nodding his assent at Derek, Spencer threw his arms around his shoulders and resumed kissing him. He didn't stop Derek when his hands returned to his hips and pushed his underwear and jeans partway down his thighs. Derek's hand immediately returned to enclose around Spencer's cock, now already becoming slick with pre-come, and Spencer moaned against his mouth.

But, Spencer wanted to touch too. Without pulling his mouth away from Derek's, he let his hands run down the older man's chest and began fussing with Derek's jeans. Soon he had freed the button and his hand was palming Derek through the older man's underwear. Derek groaned, thrusting forward, as he let Spencer's hand alleviate some of the maddening pressure. But, when he felt Spencer's fingers scrambling toward the waistband of his underwear, in the hopes of getting inside, he reluctantly pulled back. He knew, if he let him, the kid would have him coming too soon.

Leaning back, and scooting down Spencer's thighs, Derek tugged off Spencer's pants and underwear. Then he quickly kicked off his own jeans. Now, with nothing but Derek's black boxer-briefs separating them, Derek leaned over Spencer, pressing his body down over his. Beginning with soft kisses on Spencer's neck, Derek peppered a slow trail of kisses over Spencer's collarbone and chest, as Spencer wrapped his arms around his waist, nails scratching lightly over his back. He stopped to pull one of Spencer's dusky nipples into his mouth, and Spencer threw his head back moaning loudly, digging his fingers into Derek's back just a little bit harder. Languidly rolling his tongue over the hardened peak, Derek glanced up at Spencer's face and felt his cock throb at the sight of Spencer, long neck exposed, cheeks flushed and mouth slightly parted.

Feeling his cock aching at the thought of all the things he wanted to do to the boy, Derek licked his way down Spencer's stomach, tracing over the slight muscles of his abdomen dipping into the boy's bellybutton, and nipping at the skin lightly with his teeth. When he came upon Spencer's cock, already flushed red and dripping, as it stood proudly from a small thatch of downy hair, he purposefully ignored it and by Spencer's frustrated sigh, he could tell the boy had been anticipating his mouth touching him there as well. But, Derek had other ideas.

Reaching up over Spencer's shoulder, Derek grabbed the bottle he had tossed on the bed earlier. He then scooted further down the bed, positioned himself between Spencer's legs, and, grabbing the boy's hips, he pulled Spencer further down the bed until his face was right between his soft, milky-white thighs.

Spencer gasped when he felt Derek jerk him further down the bed and finally opened his eyes, looking down. And the sight made his heart thump and his stomach clench in anticipation. Derek Morgan was between his thighs, looking up at him with dark, lusty eyes. Spencer's cock was bobbing against his stomach, and he had to fight himself not to reach his hand down and touch himself—the image was that intense. But, Spencer did lick his lips—this time, not with any intent of arousing Derek, but merely because his mouth had actually gone dry at the sight in front of him—and he felt his cock throb as Derek's eyes darkened even more. Spencer could not wait. He really wanted Derek to take him.

From his position between Spencer's thighs, Derek's eyes were locked on to Spencer's, and Spencer wasn't going to look away. He couldn't see what Derek was doing, he could only feel. And so Spencer trembled when he felt Derek's hands on his hips, lifting them and sliding under him until his palms were cupping his cheeks. Spencer moaned as Derek's fingers massaged and squeezed at his bottom, but then Derek's eyes dropped down and Spencer's lips parted as he realized Derek could see _all_ of him. Using his thumbs, Derek spread the soft mounds until he was staring directly at Spencer's small, pink hole. Feeling himself flush with embarrassment at the fact that Derek was looking at him _there_ , Spencer whined as he squeezed his eyes shut tight and fisted his hands in the sheets on either side of him.

Then, without warning, Derek leaned down, shoved his face between his cheeks, and ran his tongue over the tight hole.

Spencer practically shrieked as his hips bucked and his thighs clamped down around Derek's head. He had _not_ been expecting that. But the hot, wet sensation was enough for Spencer to quickly get over his embarrassment and he tossed his head back, thighs relaxing, and a long, low moan escaped his parted lips.

Derek, happy to oblige, pressed his tongue against the spasming hole, alternating between long slow licks and short, fast flicks of his tongue. Spencer whined above him, the muscles in his thighs flexing as he tried to control himself, and Derek had to hold back a grin. Derek was no stranger to this, and he knew he was good at it. He had been with quite a number of adventurous ladies. The only thing different this time is that he was doing it with a man. But, that didn't seem to bother Derek at all.

Taking one last long drag of his tongue against Spencer's heated entrance, Derek made an exaggerated slurping sound, reveling in how Spencer trembled, and then he sat back on his heels. Spencer lay before him, panting and shaking, legs spread wantonly and Derek could see that the boy's cock was harder than ever. He almost felt like he should put the kid out of his misery and jerk him off. But, he needed Spencer to last a little longer.

Flipping the top of the lube bottle open, Derek quickly squeezed a generous amount on to his fingers and tossed the bottle back on to the bed. Spencer was looking up at him through half-lidded eyes as he tried to settle his breathing. Derek smiled at him as he placed his other hand on Spencer's thigh, squeezing softly. Spencer swallowed thickly, knowing exactly what Derek was going to do, and he spread his thighs a bit wider.

"Good boy," Derek breathed. "I just need you to relax for me."

Nodding silently, Spencer breathed out and closed his eyes. And even though he was expecting it, he still jumped when he felt Derek's slick fingers stroke gently against his opening. But Derek just stroked him, applying a little pressure as his fingers ran over the hole, but never entering. And the tension drained from Spencer, as his thighs relaxed again. The soft ministrations of Derek's fingers were sending shivers up Spencer's spine, and he bit his lip as he moaned, bucking his hips a bit.

"Derek… come on. Please, _hurry_. I want you in me," Spencer whined.

Derek tensed at hearing the words. He wanted to go slow. He knew he _needed_ to go slow. But Spencer was impatient, and needy, and it was making it very hard for Derek to ignore the throbbing of his own cock. So, slowly, very slowly, Derek pressed his index finger against the tight ring of muscle. Spencer's breath hitched, his body tensing, and his hands fisting in the sheets. But then Derek increased the pressure and the resistance finally gave way, Derek's slick finger slipping inside the tight channel.

"Ungh," Spencer groaned softly as the finger breached him.

As Spencer bucked slightly, Derek could feel his soft, hot walls clamping down around his finger. He could imagine how good it would feel to have that tight heat wrapped around his cock, and bit his lip, trying to calm himself down. Watching Spencer's face, Derek began to pump his finger slowly. Spencer's brows were furrowed, but he didn't seem like he was in pain, and Derek was relieved.

Knowing that the second finger would be a bit harder to take, Derek grabbed Spencer's neglected cock, and began to stroke the boy languidly, hoping to distract him. Spencer keened, grateful for the attention, and thrust up into Derek's hand. And when Derek pressed a second finger into his tight hole, Spencer gasped at the burning stretch. It hurt. He was torn between the pleasure being paid to his cock and the uncomfortably full feeling between his legs. Derek kept the thrusting of his fingers very slow and shallow, while the hand around Spencer's cock stroked, squeezed and massaged Spencer into a stupor. Apparently pleasure had won out, as the tension eased from Spencer's body and steady moans began to fall from his swollen lips.

Watching Spencer hungrily, Derek couldn't stop himself from leaning up and capturing his lips with his own. Spencer moaned louder, overwhelmed by the onslaught of sensation from all directions. Derek continued to stroke his cock, while his fingers pressed in deeper, spreading and scissoring. Spencer gasped against his lips, but spread his legs wider, wanting Derek to get closer to him. Smiling, Derek pulled away from Spencer's lips and released the boy's cock, gaining a groan of frustration from Spencer followed by a soft string of muttered curses. But Derek just began kissing down Spencer's neck, and chest, and as Derek got to Spencer's stomach, where the boy's stiff cock was resting, Spencer's protests died down.

Looking up and catching Spencer's eyes, Derek could see Spencer's hopeful look. And with a smirk, Derek leaned down and dragged his tongue along the flushed tip of Spencer's cock.

"Yes!" Spencer gasped out, arching his back and clamping down around Derek's fingers.

Derek moaned in approval as he sucked the head of Spencer's cock into his mouth. Spencer couldn't help it, as he threw one leg over Derek's shoulder and pressed on Derek's back with his heel, hoping to bring him closer. But Derek was in control of the situation, and Spencer was helpless to do anything but buck and moan as Derek maintained his pace and position and pushed his fingers deeper inside of him.

Derek could tell by the trembling of the pale thighs around his neck, and the copious amount of precome filling his mouth, that Spencer was already close to the edge. As he lowered his mouth, taking in more of Spencer's cock, Derek crooked his fingers, pushing hard against something inside Spencer, and the boy saw stars.

"Oh my God!" Spencer cried, throwing his head back.

And as Derek pressed at that spot inside of him again and again, he was rendered speechless. But, Derek knew what his ministrations were doing to him, and after one last hard suck he pulled his mouth off of Spencer, while twisting his fingers inside of him, and Spencer almost shrieked as he came all over his stomach.

Watching as the boy's chest rose and fell rapidly as he panted, Derek slowly eased his fingers out of Spencer, knowing that he would probably be over-sensitized after having come so hard. But Spencer was so beautiful like this, and Derek couldn't help leaning in, kissing Spencer's face and neck, as the boy returned back to earth. After a few minutes, Spencer turned towards Derek's mouth, sucking on his lips hungrily.

"Fuck me, Derek," Spencer panted as he looked at the older man with hazy eyes.

"Oh, I want to, Pretty Boy, so badly," Derek said as he pressed his rock-hard cock up against Spencer's thigh, almost hissing at the wonderful friction. "But, I still think we should stretch you out some more."

"Nooo," Spencer whined as he shifted so that he could rub himself against Derek.

"Yes, Spencer," Derek murmured against his ear, trying to ignore the feeling of Spencer's hot, sweaty, cum-slick chest pressing up against his own. "It'd be good if we could get you used to three or four fingers, just to be safe."

Spencer let out a frustrated sound and then nipped at Derek's shoulder, causing the older man to hiss.

"No, I don't need anymore. I know you're big Derek, but you don't have elephantiasis of the cock. I feel more than stretched enough," Spencer said as he looked up at him with a matter-of-fact expression.

Derek found himself lightly chuckling as he shook his head. Spencer really hadn't lost that _mouth_ of his. And it was more than just a little bit strange to hear someone string together lewd and scientific words in the same sentence. But, Derek wouldn't let Spencer's impatience force him to move any faster than he knew he should. So, Derek disentangled himself from Spencer's arms and rolled him so he was on his back again, with Derek on his knees between his thighs.

"I know it might feel like it, but you're not as stretched as you think you are," Derek said as he looked down at the open but still tiny hole. "I want to make sure it hurts as little as possible for you Spencer."

"It's ok, it's ok. I don't care. Just put it in me, Derek," Spencer whined, looking up at Derek seductively, as he wrapped his legs around his waist.

Derek frowned at that. He never could tell if Spencer was just telling him what he wanted to hear, or if it was what _Spencer_ actually wanted. He didn't want Spencer doing _anything_ that would put Derek's pleasure over his own.

"No, feel for yourself," Derek said as he unwrapped Spencer's legs from around him.

Spencer looked up at him in confusion, but then gasped as the older man grabbed his hand, bringing it down between his parted thighs. Spencer tensed, looking at Derek like he was crazy, but Derek was stronger than him, and soon Spencer felt two of his own fingers pressing against his slick and sensitive hole. He whimpered at the strange sensation, but didn't resist as Derek helped him slide his fingers inside of himself. Spencer's fingers were more slender than Derek's, and it felt different, but he could still feel the slight stretch.

Looking up at Derek with wide eyes, Spencer couldn't believe he was doing this.

"How's that feel?" Derek asked with a smirk as he affectionately squeezed Spencer's inner thigh.

Spencer blushed as he closed his eyes. Biting down on his lip, he slowly pumped his fingers inside of himself, the friction causing a breathy moan to escape his lips. Derek let out a soft sound of approval as he stroked Spencer's thigh encouragingly.

"Here," Derek murmured as he grabbed Spencer's wrist and maneuvered his fingers. "Go deeper, and bend your fingers like this."

As soon as Spencer crooked his fingers, those sparks went off in him again and he arched his back, letting out a loud, keening moan.

Seeing that Spencer had gotten the hang of it, Derek released his hold on the boy's thighs. Spencer whimpered as he closed his thighs around his hand and turned on to his side. Rocking his hips he began to slowly plunge his fingers inside of himself. Derek watched, almost slack-jawed, as Spencer touched himself. It seemed almost as if the boy had forgotten he was there. With his cheeks flushed and small whimpers escaping his parted lips, Spencer was the most wanton Derek had ever seen him.

Spencer always seemed guarded, as if he wanted to do/say/be what others wanted him to. But, right now, Spencer was focused on himself and Derek found it unbelievably erotic. And, based on the stuttering gasps he could hear every time Spencer thrust particularly deep with his fingers, Derek could tell that Spencer had become well-acquainted with his prostate and it seemed he couldn't get enough of it. So Derek watched silently as the boy's fingers continued to thrust inside of himself and his cock came back to life, springing up, hard and ready, between his pale thighs.

But, Derek couldn't take very much of that sight. Watching Spencer do this would have him coming in minutes. So he grabbed Spencer's wrist, stopping him from thrusting and the boy's pretty brown eyes fluttered open, looking up at Derek through a haze of arousal.

"Pretty Boy," Derek said, voice strained and foreign to his own ears, "don't forget about me."

Spencer licked his lips and nodded, as he eased his slick fingers out of his throbbing hole.

"You gonna let me fuck you now?" Derek asked, voice laced with lust.

Spencer moaned and bit his lip as he nodded enthusiastically.

Derek leaned down and gave him a searing kiss, covering Spencer's entire body with his own. Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek's neck and closed his eyes as he lost himself in Derek's mouth. He could feel Derek tugging off his underwear with one hand, and Spencer sighed as he finally felt Derek's naked cock pressing against his thigh, hot, heavy, and slick. Spencer wanted to feel him, and when he heard the sound of the bottle of lube opening up again, Spencer grabbed it out of Derek's hands. Looking up into Derek's eyes, Spencer squeezed some on to his fingers and, without taking his eyes from Derek's, trailed his hand down in between them until he came into contact with the hard length. Both Spencer and Derek let out a moan as Spencer slowly stroked him, coating him in the process.

Derek's eyes fluttered closed and Spencer was in awe of how quickly he was able to make this strong man tremble. He licked his lips, feeling his own cock get even harder at the thought. But, then Derek was pulling his hand away from him, breathing heavy. Looking at Spencer with darkened eyes, Derek gave Spencer one final hard kiss, before he moved his hands down to Spencer's hips, repositioning him.

Grabbing Spencer's thigh with one hand to keep his legs parted, Derek lined his cock up and nudged the head against the slick entrance. The feeling was almost electrifying on his painfully hard cock, and Derek groaned out as Spencer echoed a soft gasp. Trying to calm himself down, Derek rubbed himself against Spencer's opening, eliciting soft, encouraging whimpers from the boy below him.

" _Please_ , Derek," Spencer finally moaned out, seeming as if he was at his limit.

And that was it for Derek. He couldn't take waiting anymore. With one firm thrust, the head of Derek's cock pushed into Spencer's welcoming hole.

While Derek groaned, Spencer whimpered.

 _Shit,_ Spencer thought to himself as he gritted his teeth and fisted his hands in the sheet. It really hurt. The burning stretch was way more intense than when Derek had used his fingers. He felt impossibly big inside of him. And as Derek thrust his hips again, more of the thick length sliding in, Spencer couldn't help the pained gasp that flew from his lips as he brought his hands up to grasp at Derek's biceps. Then Derek stopped immediately, looking up at his face worriedly. Spencer blinked rapidly, feeling his eyes stinging. He didn't want Derek to see him crying.

"Spencer," Derek breathed, "is it too much? I can stop-"

"N-no!" Spencer gasped out as he locked his legs around Derek's waist, trying to hold the man to him. The action caused Derek to slip in even more, and Spencer whimpered again, feeling himself stretch more to accommodate Derek's large girth. Sure, it hurt like hell, but Spencer _expected_ it to hurt. But he also knew it would pass. And he didn't believe that if Derek stopped now the over-conscientious man would ever start again. They had already gotten this far and Spencer wanted to see it through to the end. This is what he had _wanted_.

"Spencer… if it hurts you have to tell me," Derek said seriously, as he stroked at Spencer's cheek, wondering if the wetness he saw pooling in the corner of Spencer's eye would spill over.

He didn't want to make Spencer cry. Derek knew he should probably pull out. He could barely think with his cock sunk half-deep inside Spencer's tight heat. And he needed clear thoughts right now, because all he wanted to do at the moment was keep thrusting.

"Doesn't hurt," Spencer murmured as he closed his eyes and leaned into Derek's hand as it caressed his cheek.

"You're _lying,_ " Derek whispered to him, seeing the obvious tension in Spencer's face and the furrowing of his brows.

Spencer looked up at him, blinking quickly again, clearing away most of the tears that were threating to fall.

"Ok, yeah, it hurts," he admitted as he stared at Derek with his clear honey-colored eyes. "But, it's okay. I can take it. I want you, Derek. And I want you to keep going. It's already starting to feel better."

"You sure?" Derek asked as he looked into Spencer's eyes, searching for any signs of hesitance.

But Spencer just nodded and squeezed Derek's arms encouragingly.

"You have to tell me immediately if you want me to stop," Derek said, his voice sounding almost desperate, like he was trying to hold on to his last vestiges of restraint.

"I will. Now, _fuck_ me, Derek," Spencer said as he tightened his legs around Derek's waist again and bucked his hips slightly.

There was nothing else Derek could do to stop himself, as he thrust forward, allowing himself to slide further into Spencer's warm body. He could hear Spencer gasping softly, but his arms didn't tighten around him and his body didn't tense. Spencer was taking him all in, body pliant and open.

" _Shit_ ," Derek groaned as he finally seated himself fully.

He immediately found Spencer's mouth with his own, cradling Spencer's face with one hand as the other ran through the boy's soft hair. And as he kissed Spencer, he felt the boy's arms move to wrap around his shoulders, holding Derek closer to him. Derek started to move, pulling out and thrusting back in with slow, shallow strokes. Kissing, sucking and licking at the boy's swollen lips, he swallowed down all of Spencer's whimpers, until Spencer started to moan softly.

Hearing the encouraging sounds, Derek pulled back, burying his face in Spencer's neck as he started to thrust deeper and harder. Spencer's hands moved down Derek's back to scratch over his shoulder blades, and down further until Spencer was grabbing Derek's ass as he thrust into him. Derek could hear Spencer panting and gasping in his ear, but it wasn't enough. He wanted Spencer to be as delirious with pleasure as he was. Snaking his hand down between them, he ran his hand over Spencer's cock, feeling that he was still only half hard.

Derek wasn't having any of that. Holding Spencer's hips, he pulled away from the boy, until he was slowly easing his cock out of the tight hole and Spencer let out a whine.

"D-Derek what're you doing?" Spencer asked, breathlessly.

But all Derek did was cradle Spencer's hips and turn the boy over on to his stomach. Spencer was confused, but he wasn't lost as to what Derek wanted when the man pulled him up on to his hands and knees. Spencer glanced at Derek over his shoulder, but he could only see Derek's face and chest as the man was already almost flush against his body. Derek moaned at the sight before him and kissed Spencer's shoulder, causing Spencer's insides to flutter.

"I think you'll like this better, Pretty Boy," Derek breathed as he pulled back and lined himself up. Grasping on to Spencer's narrow hips, Derek slowly pushed in, sighing appreciatively as his cock sank into the tight sheath, going even deeper this time.

Spencer groaned loudly as Derek's cock filled him again, the new angle unexpected, and fisted his hands in the sheet. But, then Derek grabbed his hips, placed his hand on the small of Spencer's back, and pushed him down until his chest was flush against the bed. And when Derek thrust in again, Spencer let out a yelp of surprise as Derek's cock nudged that place inside of him that made his vision blur.

"Yes, Derek! Do that again," Spencer almost begged.

"Anything you want, Pretty Boy, anything," Derek groaned as he began to thrust hard, holding Spencer's hips tight, and pounding against that spot inside of him.

Spencer started to gasp, mewl, and cry out, and the sounds were enough that Derek felt he could come just from hearing those alone. He had held off his own pleasure throughout the entire time he had been prepping Spencer and Derek felt like he could lose himself at any minute as the boy's insides squeezed and pulsed around him. He quickly snaked his hand around to Spencer's front, pleased to feel that the boy's cock was now rock hard, and already dripping wet.

Derek fisted his hand around Spencer, causing the boy to arch his back and clench around him even more, and began stroking him at a furious pace. Spencer's words were coming out in a mixture of gasps, murmurs, and cries, and Derek wasn't even sure it was all in English. As the pace of his thrusts became more erratic, and Derek felt himself getting dangerously close to his orgasm, he ran his thumb over the wet, sensitive head of Spencer's cock. Spencer shouted as his body tensed, and then he was coming all over Derek's hand. As the final tremors of his release ran through him, Spencer collapsed forward on to the bed, only supported by the tight grip of Derek's hands on his hips.

The force of Spencer's orgasm had sent delicious spasms ricocheting throughout Spencer's body, and Derek knew he was done for as Spencer fell to the bed, and Derek went with him, covering Spencer's trembling body. Derek thrust three more times inside the boy's quivering hole before he felt his control snap. And, as his climax hit him, he quickly pulled out, coming all over Spencer's back.

Leaning over Spencer as the last spurt of his come landed on the boy's pale, and still shivering back, Derek let out a great sigh of contentment and exhaustion before toppling down to the bed next to Spencer. Derek grinned up at the ceiling, arm thrown over his eyes, as he basked in what was one of the most intense orgasms he had ever had.

* * *

A few minutes passed, with nothing but the sound of the two men's ragged breathing filling the room. Spencer laid on his stomach, breathing heavily as he tried to get a grip on himself. Eyes wide, he blinked slowly, body still trembling with the aftershocks of pleasure. He felt as if his brain was mush, and he wondered, briefly, if Derek had, quite literally, fucked the sense out of him. He knew that couldn't be true, but he also couldn't understand why he couldn't formulate any coherent thoughts. Whatever Derek had done to his brain, Spencer did have one thought he could be sure of: that had been… _amazing_.

He let out a soft sigh as he felt Derek's hand run lightly through his hair.

"You ok?" he heard him whisper next to his ear.

Spencer blushed slightly as the words sent a shiver of desire down his spine. He couldn't believe himself. He went from what he was sure people would call 'frigid' (and he _had_ been called frigid by many of his 'clients,' but he wasn't going to think about that right now), to someone who was basically downright lusty. If just Derek's _whisper_ made him tremble, Spencer knew he was in trouble. Thinking on this, and trying to hold down his embarrassment, Spencer could only nod in response to Derek's question.

"Good. I'll be right back," Derek murmured, and Spencer could feel his lips moving against his ear. It felt like Derek had kissed him. But he didn't really know. His mind felt so fuzzy he couldn't even invest the energy to think about it.

Sighing as he closed his eyes, he was vaguely aware of the feeling of the bed dipping as Derek got to his feet, and the sound of him padding into the bathroom. He listened distractedly as he heard water running and then shutting off. Then, he heard Derek walking back toward him and felt the bed dip again.

He let out a small sound of surprise and turned his head to look over his shoulder as he felt something warm and wet press against his back. Catching Derek's eye, he raised an eyebrow and thought for a second that the darker man's cheeks had reddened.

"Uh… gotta clean you off. I… kinda made a bit of a mess on your back," Derek admitted, somewhat sheepishly.

Both Spencer's eyebrows rose and his own cheeks darkened as he remembered vaguely feeling the hot spray of liquid on his back as he was riding out the end of his own climax. Derek had _come_ on his back. Turning back around, and letting the older man wipe him down, Spencer figured it wasn't too bad. Felt kind of like he was getting a personal massage. He let out a small squeak of surprise, though, and blushed as he felt Derek swipe the warm cloth between his thighs. But he was done in mere seconds and then he was chuckling as he flopped down next to Spencer. Derek absently began running his hands through Spencer's hair, over his scalp and then down to the scruff of his neck. He repeated this for a few moments, the actions lulling Spencer into a content daze.

Soon, Spencer felt himself starting to fall asleep, but he knew he couldn't let that happen. Still struggling to gather his wits about him, Spencer pushed himself up into a sitting position reluctantly moving away from the comforting feeling of Derek's warm hand sliding through his hair. His body felt sluggish and was still practically _humming_ with the after-effects of what they had just done. He was giddy with the thought that he had finally slept with Derek. But Spencer wasn't sure what he was supposed to do _now_.

Feeling heat rising in his cheeks, Spencer realized he didn't know much at _all_ about any of this. Generally, Spencer knew a lot about almost all things under the sun—he was used to _knowing_. But, relationships, intimacy, and the range of what was 'normal' or expected after two people had just had sex for the first time, well… this was one area where he had a major dearth of knowledge and he felt like an average idiot. All he knew was what he had learned from those at the club, and it seemed like 'lovers' never stuck around after the 'fun' had been had. And Spencer wasn't even sure if they would be considered 'lovers.' He wasn't sure _why_ Derek had given in and done it with him. He didn't really want to think too much about it. It would cloud the good feelings he had from the wonderful moments they had just shared.

Biting his lip in consternation, and trying not to think too hard about the warmth of Derek lying next to him, or the obvious weight of the man's eyes on his back, Spencer slowly got to his feet, struggling a bit as he could already feel his body aching in protest. But, before he could move away from the bed, he felt Derek's hand close around his wrist in a firm grip. Turning around with a confused expression on his face, Spencer looked down at the older man. Derek raised an eyebrow as he stared back at him with an unreadable expression.

"Where are you going?" he asked in a low voice, eyes boring into Spencer's.

Spencer's face flushed in embarrassment as he made a weak attempt to pull his wrist free.

"Um… I… I was gonna go back to my room?" he said, unsurely, as he looked down at the ground.

He suddenly felt extremely aware of his nakedness and couldn't stop his brain from flooding with a number of insecurities.

"Is there some reason why you don't want to stay here?" Derek asked, breaking into Spencer's thoughts.

Spencer looked back up at him, brows furrowing with confusion.

"You… uh… _want_ me to stay?" he asked.

Derek couldn't hide the disappointment he felt at hearing Spencer's words. Why would the boy think he _didn't_ want him with him? He could see the clear uncertainty in Spencer's eyes. It just reminded him of one of the many things he had worried about. Spencer still didn't believe in his own self-worth. Derek had hoped to show the boy how much he was attracted to him, and how much he valued him, during their lovemaking. But it seemed Spencer still had his doubts. Sighing, he knew he'd just have to work harder to make Spencer believe him. He was willing to do that. But, he knew it would take some time.

"Get in the bed, Spencer. You don't get to dip out on me after what we just did," he said, hoping the boy could hear the teasing note in his voice. "I like to cuddle."

Spencer blushed and smiled shyly, and Derek could feel his wrist relax in his grip.

"Ok… Um. If that's what you really want," he murmured as he made to climb back into the bed.

Derek released his hold on Spencer as he shifted to allow him into the bed. Spencer immediately laid on his left side, with his back facing Derek, and Derek could tell, by the tenseness in his pale shoulders, that he was still not sure how close he could get. So Derek scooted up behind him until his chest was pressed flush against Spencer's back. He was sure he could hear a sigh of relief or contentment—he couldn't be certain which—and he felt Spencer relax against him as he pulled the sheet over their bodies.

Bringing his arm up and around Spencer's narrow waist, Derek inhaled the scent of the hair at the boy's nape. Spencer shivered in response and Derek couldn't help but smile.

"How're you feeling?" he asked softly.

He could see Spencer's ears redden, but he couldn't see the boy's face.

"I'm… ok," Spencer whispered.

"You sure?" Derek asked, sounding concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

"I'm sure. And n-no… You didn't hurt me. Honest. I just…. It's embarrassing to talk about it," Spencer said, bringing his hands up to cover his face.

Derek relaxed behind him.

"Don't be embarrassed. You need to always feel comfortable expressing what you want Spencer. You know, what you like…" Derek purred as he stroked up Spencer's arm. "But, also, what you don't."

"I… liked everything you did to me," Spencer said, still soft, but voice a bit more confident.

Derek chuckled, and Spencer could feel the laugh rumbling against his back.

"Well, that's good to hear," Derek chuckled as he pressed closer, kissing softly on Spencer's neck.

Spencer let out an unconscious moan and Derek growled his approval. He loved it when Spencer let him know that he liked what he was doing.

"Well how about you?" Spencer said after a while.

Derek, barely paying attention, as he was more interested in sucking small hickeys into the boy's pale neck, let out a curious 'hmm?' in response.

"How do _you_ feel about it?" Spencer asked. "You talked a lot about it being wrong and everything, but how do you feel now that you've 'taken advantage of me?'"

Derek froze in his ministrations until he heard Spencer let out a small laugh. Frowning, Derek leaned back as Spencer shifted in his arms and turned to face him.

"I'm _kidding_ ," Spencer said with a pout, but Derek could see the amusement in his eyes.

"You always had really tasteful humor," Derek said flatly, but there was no real anger in his voice.

Spencer feigned an apologetic look, but Derek rolled his eyes in response, trying to hold back a smile. Biting his lip, Spencer shifted closer and Derek watched him carefully as the boy's eyes trailed down to his chest. Spencer's brows furrowed in consternation, and Derek could tell that he was, again, doubting himself before acting. But, instead of voicing his concern, Derek quietly watched Spencer as he brought his hands up and laid them on his broad chest. Spencer's eyes quickly darted up to Derek's, as if asking for permission, but he was only met with Derek's lazy eyes and wide smile. So Spencer smiled back.

Licking his lips, Spencer dropped his eyes back to Derek's chest, and watched with fascination as he traced over the muscles there. Derek sucked in a breath, but closed his eyes as Spencer's hands traveled lightly over his heated skin. He could feel Spencer slip even closer, and sighed as he felt the smooth skin of the boy's thighs rubbing against his own. As Spencer gently stroked Derek's skin from his collarbones, across his pectorals, to his shoulders and back again, he was almost lulled to sleep. Apparently, Spencer's version of 'cuddling' meant exploring Derek's body, but Derek wasn't going to complain about any of that. He was all for it.

But then Derek felt Spencer's lips press against his collarbone, and his eyelids fluttered in surprise, as he was pulled from his lazy state of contentment. And, as Spencer's soft lips began to mouth across his neck, he felt one of the boy's hands begin to trail down his abdomen. Eyes opening, Derek frowned down at the top of Spencer's head, and he opened his mouth to ask him exactly _what_ he was doing. But that was the same moment Spencer's hand closed around his cock and Derek jumped from shock.

"Spencer?" Derek asked, voice breaking somewhat.

Spencer looked up at him with half-lidded eyes and Derek felt his heart start pounding against his ribcage. He felt Spencer's hand squeeze tentatively around his already engorging length, and he forced himself to stifle his groan.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

Spencer bit his lip as his fingers encircled Derek's cock. Derek really was _big_. Spencer really hadn't had a chance to even _look_ at him while they were making love. And now, the thought of it had him all heated again.

"I can't believe you put that big thing inside of me," Spencer murmured as he looked into Derek's eyes, hand still lazily caressing his length.

His words sent a jolt of arousal straight to Derek's cock, and Spencer's eyes widened as he felt the organ pulse in his hand.

" _Spencer_ ," Derek breathed in warning, as he closed his eyes and grabbed Spencer's shoulder, trying to still his stroking hand. "You better stop before you get me all worked up again."

Spencer licked his lips, before pressing a kiss to Derek's chin. Derek opened his eyes and gritted his teeth as he looked into Spencer's lust-darkened honey orbs. He couldn't understand what game this kid was playing at. He could tell Spencer had been thoroughly worn out by their first round and there was no way they would be having sex again right now. And even if _Spencer_ didn't know that, Derek knew it was his job to take care of the younger man's body. So, he would have to try to resist him.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," Spencer said, and Derek watched in shock as he began to shimmy down his body and under the covers.

"Wait, wait! Wait a second," Derek said as he yanked back the sheet, revealing Spencer looking at him with wide eyes, poised above his lap. And Derek had to fight not to let a groan out at the delectable sight that was laid before him.

"Spencer, you don't have to do that," Derek said, but his voice sounded weak even to his own ears. And the tell-tale throbbing of his hardening cock gripped in Spencer's warm hand undermined any protest he could hope to give.

Spencer chuckled softly as he rested his elbows on Derek's thighs.

"But I _want_ to do it. Don't you remember? It's the first thing I told you I wanted to do to you when I was trying to get you to notice me back in Vegas," he breathed, as his mouth hovered over Derek's cock. Derek trembled as the warm air rolled over his sensitive skin, and he threw his head back against the pillows, already knowing that he would give in. How could he resist _that_?

And then, without further ado, Spencer leaned down, wrapping his pink lips around the head of Derek's swollen cock, and sucked. He used the hand still wrapped around the thick shaft to begin languidly pumping, and he was pleased by the unintelligible sounds of pleasure that spilled from Derek's mouth. Pulling back, Spencer licked teasingly at the shining head. He could feel the tension in Derek's thighs as he rested atop them, and, on a whim, he looked up at Derek. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes met Derek's smoldering dark-chocolate stare. The man looked fierce—like he couldn't wait to toss Spencer on the bed and fuck him again—but he also looked vulnerable–like Spencer had all the control and could completely unravel him. And, oh, did Spencer like _that_.

Derek placed a gentle hand on the back of Spencer's head, and moaning, Spencer returned his mouth to Derek's cock, sucking with gusto. He couldn't fit all of him into his mouth, but Spencer skillfully worked Derek's shaft and balls with his hands, as his mouth worshiped the head. It was turning him on to hear how pleased Derek was, and this, in itself, shocked Spencer. This was so different for him. Spencer hadn't done this _that_ many times, but he definitely had more practice doing this than he really wanted to think about. But all those other times, he had either been very obviously forced, or he had begrudgingly agreed to do it, feeling as if it was the lesser of two evils. But, now, he really _wanted_ Derek to feel good. He actually craved the connection and intimacy of the act. He wasn't being used. He wasn't something to throw away after a man was done with him. He was being cherished.

As Spencer sucked him into an almost dizzy state, Derek groaned as he tried to concentrate on not thrusting all the way down Spencer's throat. The kid was amazing. Just insanely amazing. Derek didn't want to think about how Spencer had _gotten_ so amazing at this. But, oh, God, did he love Spencer's mouth. He was almost embarrassed about how quickly Spencer was getting him off. And as Spencer made a loud slurping sound, as he sucked Derek down until he was bumping against the back of his throat, Derek couldn't help how his cock twitched and his hips jerked. Spencer immediately coughed and pulled away. And although Derek quickly started to apologize, Spencer just waved it off.

"Just stay still," Spencer chastised, giving him a flirtatious smirk.

He then leaned back down and kissed the tip of Derek's glistening cock with those lush, pink lips Derek was so obsessed with. And all Derek could do was throw his head back against his pillow, groaning, and wondering to himself what he had done to deserve this type of heaven.

As Spencer flicked his tongue against Derek's head, he lapped up the copious amount of precome that was running down the rigid length. He could tell that Derek was close. Hollowing his cheeks out, Spencer sucked hard, while jerking and twisting his hand along Derek's length, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to Derek's gut, and Derek felt his climax coming up on him fast.

"Cumming, Spencer, I'm cumming," Derek warned, as he fisted his hand in Spencer's hair and tried to pull the boy off him.

But Spencer ignored him, as he forced himself to take more of the thick length down his throat, ignoring the discomfort and listening to Derek's husky moan of pleasure. And when he felt Derek's whole body tense, and his cock begin to pulse, Spencer pulled back enough to feel the warm spurts of cum coat his tongue and the back of his throat. Spencer fought the urge to pull off. He never usually swallowed. He would never give someone that satisfaction. But he swallowed for Derek. Or, he at least tried to swallow as much as he could. As his mouth filled, he felt some running down his chin, and when Derek finally stopped coming, Spencer pulled off, sitting up and wiping at the stray strings of come.

"Shit, kid," Derek breathed as he threw an arm over his eyes and his chest rapidly rose and fell as he tried to calm his breathing. "You just… Oh, God. I don't even… I can't even… _Damn,_ Spencer…"

Spencer couldn't help but beam at the fact that he had left Derek Morgan practically speechless. But he didn't have long to bask in his feeling of accomplishment, as he felt Derek's arm wrap around his waist, and pull him down to the bed, pressing them together, chest to chest.

Spencer blushed at the closeness, not used to it but also thrilled by it. Derek lazily opened his eyes and gave Spencer a deep, long kiss. And when he finally pulled away, he was chuckling. Kissing Spencer's forehead, and stroking his back, Derek shook his head ruefully.

"You're gonna be the death of me, Spencer Reid," Derek said, voice still sounding strained and breathy.

"But, wouldn't that be the perfect way to go out?" Spencer asked as he looked up at him with a small grin.

Derek just shook his head and laughed.

"I gotta say I kinda have to agree with you," he admitted, as he kissed Spencer's temple.

Spencer sighed against him, fighting the urge to actually purr in contentment as Derek began lazily running his hand through his hair.

"Now, promise me you're gonna go to sleep?" Derek asked.

"Promise," Spencer hummed as he burrowed into Derek's chest, wrapping his arms around the man's waist and sighing contentedly.

* * *

A/N: Ah… well _that_ escalated quickly, didn't it? :3. _Literally,_ 18 pages of unadulterated smut! O_O Hahah! My beta has dubbed it the 'sex hour,' and I think that's very fitting! :p

As always, please leave me your comments/reviews/thoughts, and let me know if you liked it. I couldn't help but to throw lots of insecure!Spencer angst in there. And, to be honest, Derek's not gonna make it any easier going forward (D:). But, did you at least find the smut to your liking? _I_ really enjoyed writing this chapter, and so I hope you guys enjoyed reading it, as well!

Until next time, my dears!

Xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. It is the sole intellectual property of the CBS Corp. This story is a work of fiction and I am making no profit from its publication.

A/N: Thanks to all those who took the time to leave me a comment or review. Seriously, it means so much to hear from you guys! And, as always, lots of thanks to A_WarriorZ_Haven for beta-ing and listening to me whine and whine throughout the writing process, haha.

First off, I can't believe it's been almost 3 weeks since I last updated! D: Eek! Sorry about that; won't happen again! I struggled with this chapter for a _long_ time, and honestly something still feels a bit 'off' about it, but I hope you guys will like it in any case. So, where we pick up now is going to be the 'morning after.' For some reason this is another **super** long chapter. I have no idea why that keeps happening, haha. Anyway, this chapter kind of makes me laugh. I'm not necessarily saying it's 'comedic,' but I find really awkward situations to be… humorous. There's also quite a bit of 'fluff' in here, and my beta knows I struggle with fluff. But, I think you guys would like to see it every once in a while, and I'm not gonna be mean ;p. Oh, and there's more sex, haha. But… well, that's gonna be pretty much a constant from here on out. No more warnings!

Well, enjoy!

xoxo

* * *

As the sunlight streaming through the large windows fell upon Spencer's face, forcing him to relinquish his hold on the last vestiges of sleep, he became immediately aware of a number of things that were 'different' about this morning. First, he was extremely groggy. It felt like he had a hangover, but without any of the sickness. Instead, he felt like his mind was blanketed in a cottony fog. Then, there was the fact that his body _thrummed_. It felt like every limb and inch of skin was foreign to him. Shifting slightly, he noticed that his muscles twinged at the smallest movement. But he also was conscious of a putty-like looseness running throughout his whole body—the most relaxed and languid he had ever felt before. It caused him to sigh in contentment.

But Spencer realized, with a frown, that he was also very _warm_. Not uncomfortably so, but much warmer than he was used to feeling when he was sleeping. Oh, and there was a heaviness draped across his body. No… not 'heaviness,' in the abstract, Spencer realized as his thoughts became clearer, but a heavy _body_. A body that, he noted as he cracked open an eye and glanced behind him, belonged to one very naked, very _close_ , Derek Morgan. The man's arm was slung around Spencer's waist, and his head was resting against Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer froze for a second, staring at the older man's sleeping face, as he tried to process the situation. Suddenly, every moment of last night flooded his consciousness. Derek's deep voice, his teasing lips, his searing-hot hands, and his large, muscular body pressing into Spencer's smaller one. The thoughts sent trembles throughout his body, and caused a blush to blossom over his face and chest. This was the first time he had ever woken up next to someone. The first time he had ever experienced this closeness and vulnerability. And, Spencer realized, he kind of liked it.

For years he had been guarded, refusing to let others get close to him. In all honesty, Spencer had never felt like he _wanted_ anyone to get close to him in this way. But, Derek had changed that, and Spencer found himself both terrified by, and excited about, the possibility of this becoming something regular. He found that he was changing, so fast that he could barely recognize himself. Spencer suddenly wanted things that he never thought in his wildest dreams he would ever be interested in. And he wasn't sure that the person he wanted them from was willing to give them to him.

Nibbling his lip in consternation as he stared at Derek's peaceful face, Spencer tried to push down his feelings of anxiety. He didn't know how to tell Derek about how he felt… or, what he wanted. All he knew was that _now_ was way too soon.

Suddenly, Spencer felt Derek stirring next to him and he tensed in anticipation.

"Are you finally up, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked, in a gravelly voice as his eyes slid open and he smiled at Spencer.

Spencer felt his heart stutter in his chest as he looked into Derek's dark-brown eyes. He could never get over the fact that Derek always took his breath away. Or that he was actually here with him, right now, wrapped in Derek's arms. When Derek raised a questioning eyebrow and smiled at him lazily, Spencer looked away, blushing.

"What do you mean by 'finally'…?" Spencer asked in confusion, his mind sticking on that particular part of Derek's question.

Derek laughed as he disentangled himself and leaned down to brush his lips over Spencer's forehead. Spencer couldn't help his sigh of contentment, and blushed even brighter. Derek pretended not to notice.

"Well… this is the third time I've woken up this morning, I think?" Derek said as he stretched and glanced over Spencer's head to the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table. "Every time I woke up, you were so soundly asleep that I didn't have the heart to disturb you. And, I figured you could… you know, use the rest."

Spencer felt his face heat up again and looked away from Derek as the older man grinned at him.

"What time is it now?" Spencer muttered.

"Um… almost 10," Derek said.

"What?" Spencer asked with shock as he moved to sit up, realizing that that meant he had been sleeping for almost _ten_ hours. But, as soon as he did so, he bit back a hiss as his body protested his sudden movements. He _definitely_ was feeling aches in muscles he never knew he had before.

"I mean, it's ok, kid," Derek was saying, as he also moved to sit up. "It's not like we have anywhere to be. Sometimes it's ok to just sleep in."

"I… I guess," Spencer mumbled, as he pulled the sheet further up his chest. He was shocked that he had slept that long. He definitely felt like he could sleep for another ten, if given the opportunity.

Then a loud rumbling sound erupted from Spencer's stomach and he blushed in mortification.

Derek simply laughed.

"But… I'm sure you're starving," Derek said in reference to the loud growling, and tossed back the side of the sheet that was still covering him. "So, maybe now's as good a time as any to finally get up, huh?"

Spencer looked away as Derek stood, naked as the day he was born, and slipped out of the bed. He listened as he heard Derek fumble with the clothes that had been tossed on the floor.

"How about I get some breakfast started? Sound like a good plan?" Derek asked, as he pulled on his underwear.

When Spencer looked back over to him, Derek was smiling at him, although he looked a bit uncertain. Spencer figured that Derek was probably worried. It wasn't surprising. Spencer hadn't said very many words since he had woken up, and everything he _had_ said had been stilted and awkward. But Spencer didn't want Derek thinking that anything was wrong. Because there _wasn't_ anything wrong. Spencer just simply _felt_ awkward. Derek was being his usual charming, flirtatious self. And Spencer… Well, Spencer didn't know _how_ to act. But that wasn't Derek's fault. So he forced himself to smile in Derek's direction.

"Y-yeah, breakfast sounds great," Spencer said quietly.

"Should I meet you downstairs…or, do you want breakfast in bed?" Derek asked, giving Spencer a teasing look.

Spencer's face was burning again, and he wished he could stop his body from showing such obvious reactions.

"Um… I'd like to… uh… come downstairs. You know, after a shower," he said as he looked down at his lap and gripped the sheet that was still covering most of his body.

Derek nodded in understanding. And, as if seeming to understand Spencer's sudden shyness, Derek leaned over and affectionately ruffled Spencer's hair.

"No problem, kid. You take your time. And I'll make you something nice in the meantime," Derek said with a wink.

Spencer looked up at Derek and nodded, smiling his thanks.

Spencer watched as Derek pulled on his jeans, and made his way over to the door. But when Derek stopped at the door and turned around, Spencer tilted his head in confusion.

"How's… you know, your body feeling?" Derek asked as he raised an eyebrow at Spencer. "Need me to carry you to the shower?"

This time, when Spencer's face flushed, it was from annoyance, and he glared at Derek who he could see trying to hold back a smile.

"I'm _fine,_ thank you very much," Spencer said with a huff. "No need to 'carry' me."

Then Derek laughed.

"Ok, kid. Good to hear. I just needed to check, you know?" he said, and Spencer could see that he did look somewhat genuinely relieved.

"I'm fine, Derek," Spencer said again, this time smiling.

And, nodding, Derek gave him one more smile before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

* * *

Spencer waited about five minutes before he wrapped the sheet around his waist and eased himself out of the bed. He groaned out loud as he felt the throbbing in his lower back as he pushed himself to his feet. He pointedly ignored the throbbing he could feel _inside_ , as it caused him to blush heatedly as his mind strayed to memories of the feeling of being _filled_ by Derek.

 _God_ , Spencer thought, with a blush. _Is sex really all I can think about now? Is this what_ _ **happens**_ _to people?_

Shaking his head, Spencer gathered the sheet up so that he wouldn't trip on his way to the door, and frowned at the fact that he was practically waddling. He ruefully wondered if maybe Derek _should_ have carried him to the shower, but he would be damned if he admitted that to the older man.

So, he slowly made his way over to the door. Popping his head out into the hallway, he glanced around for a second to make sure Derek had really gone downstairs. He could tell from the sound of pots and pans clanging downstairs that the older man was busy doing what he said he would be—preparing breakfast. Confident that Derek wouldn't be coming back upstairs anytime soon, Spencer crept over to the bathroom and rushed in. Once the door closed behind him, he sighed in relief.

Spencer didn't know why he felt so self-conscious. It wasn't that he was embarrassed about what they had done. Although he really hadn't had that much time to himself to actually process it, the few times his mind had strayed to the events of the night before, he found himself becoming almost giddy with happiness. It was more that he was embarrassed about the _after_. He had never woken up next to someone before, and he was self-conscious about what Derek would think of him first thing in the morning.

While Derek had looked gorgeous as he sleepily smiled at Spencer after he had awoken, Spencer had no idea what _he_ looked like. He hadn't been lying to Derek when he said he was uncomfortable with his body. Now, to add to that, his body felt sticky and sweaty from the night before. And he could still taste Derek in his mouth after having sucked him off last night, Spencer realized with a blush. He didn't want Derek to see him when he wasn't at his best.

Sighing at himself, Spencer dropped the sheet and quickly reached his hand into the shower, turning the water on to hot. As he pulled his arm back, preparing to wait for the water to heat up, his eyes were caught by his image in the mirror. Staring at himself, he let out a small gasp. He was shocked to see the trail of light marks peppered across his body. His eyes were drawn to his collarbone and chest, and he remembered the feeling of Derek's mouth on him. Spencer bit his lower lip, as his eyes raked down his body, keeping a tally of the bruises on his pale skin.

 _Kiss marks,_ he thought to himself with a little giggle.

Glancing further down, Spencer twisted slightly as he saw small bruises encircling his hips. It reminded him of the feeling of Derek's hands on him as he was lying on his back and Derek was pushing into him. And then how Derek had flipped him on to his stomach, and pulled him on to his hands and knees. He remembered the feeling of Derek's hands pressing into the small of his back as he positioned him, until he got him where he wanted. And then, it had felt so _good_.

Spencer blushed as he pulled his eyes back to the mirror and looked at himself. Derek had left his mark all over him. Like he had claimed him. Smiling to himself, as he pulled back the curtain and stepped into the hot spray of the water, Spencer found that he kind of liked that.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Spencer was walking down the stairs, in a much better mood than when he had first woken up. The hot water had done him a world of good, and almost all the aches in his muscles had relaxed. Not to mention the fact that he had had a good time rehashing last night's developments while he was in the shower. To Spencer, it had been an epic success.

Derek looked up as he heard Spencer enter the kitchen and he couldn't help but smile. Spencer was dressed in a purple and gray striped sweater and dark-wash jeans. His hair was still damp and curling from his shower.

"What're we having?" Spencer asked as he leaned over to look at what Derek had put together.

"Belgian waffles, bacon and eggs," Derek said with a grin.

Spencer's eyed widened in appreciation.

"Wow," he said with a laugh. "I'm starting to think you're seriously trying to fatten me up."

"I eat like this all the time, and I don't get fat," Derek said with a shrug as he started making the plates.

"You also _obviously_ work out like you're training for a marathon, if your physique is any indicator," Spencer said with an eye roll.

"Oh, so you've been checking out my 'physique,' huh, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked as he waggled his eyebrows at Spencer.

Spencer rolled his eyes, but the pink tinge to his cheeks did not go unnoticed by Derek.

"I'm almost done here," Derek said lightly. "Wanna go wait for me in the living room? I figure we could veg out in front of the TV while we eat. Take it kinda slow today."

Spencer tilted his head to the side as he considered Derek's words. Although he was trying to mask it, Spencer could tell Derek was trying to be 'accommodating' to him. But, Spencer didn't need that. He wanted Derek to see him as someone who was desirable, not someone who needed babying. Sighing as he shook his head, Spencer knew he still had more work to do to change Derek's mind about him. But, Spencer could tell that Derek would be resistant if he knew it was coming.

"Sure, sounds good," Spencer said, instead.

Derek hummed happily as Spencer walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. Spencer sat on the couch and turned on the TV, and soon found his mind wandering to the thoughts of what he could expect to happen between him and Derek going forward. They had had sex, so obviously things would be _different_. But, different how? Derek was flirtatious, and seemed to be in a good mood. He definitely seemed more relaxed than he had been yesterday. But, on the other hand, he also seemed a bit guarded, more than he had been when Spencer had first arrived.

Spencer knew that what he had accomplished—getting Derek to bite the bullet and actually _act_ on the overflowing desires that had been bubbling up between them—was a major step in the right direction. Derek _wanted_ him—that was pretty obvious by the man's actions last night. But, did he want anything _more_ from him? Again, Spencer was stumped. And Spencer didn't like feeling stumped. He wished he had someone to _talk_ to about this.

Hearing the sound of steps behind him, Spencer watched as Derek walked into the room carrying two heaping plates, and Spencer rolled his eyes with amusement, knowing he could never finish all of that. As Derek set them down he smiled over at Spencer before flopping down next to him on the couch. Before, Spencer could move to grab one of the plates, he felt Derek's arm coming around his shoulder, bringing him in close to his side. And then he felt Derek's large hand come up to card through his hair a few times, stroking his head.

"You good?" Derek asked again, and Spencer could only sigh dreamily as he nodded.

 _At least he's not afraid to touch me_ , Spencer thought to himself as he leaned in to the man's caress. But this still felt like _babying_ to him. Spencer could tell that Derek seemed a bit apprehensive. Like maybe he felt guilty, or uncertain, about last night, and needed to constantly check to see if Spencer was 'okay' with what had happened. Spencer did not want to have to go through another heated argument, like the one they had last night, every time they wanted to… initiate something. He wanted Derek to know that, if he wanted it, he could just make a move. Spencer would be more than willing.

After a few more strokes, Spencer felt Derek's hand slide out of his hair as Derek pulled away from him, and then he heard him chuckle slightly.

"You're kinda like a cat, kid. I almost thought you were going to start purring," Derek said, smiling at him warmly as he reached forward and grabbed his plate.

"It's your fault. There are hundreds of nerve endings in the human scalp. It's only natural I'd react to something like that. No one _told_ you to pet me," Spencer said with a feigned huff.

Derek laughed.

"Just say you liked it," Derek said as he winked.

Spencer felt a burst of heat spread in his chest, and fought down the almost knee-jerk urge to tease Derek back. The thought on the tip of his tongue would be to tell Derek that he liked a _lot_ of things the older man did to him. But Derek didn't always respond positively to Spencer's overt flirtations. So, Spencer would bide his time. He had other ideas about how to get what he wanted from Derek.

They settled into a companionable silence, sitting next to each other on the couch, thighs pressed close against the other's, as they dug into the sizeable breakfast. As usual, what Derek cooked was delicious, but Spencer was right, there was no way he'd be able to finish the mammoth-sized portion. But, he also knew this was partially because he wanted to save a little room. He hoped Derek also had the ability to eat some more, but when he glanced to his left he almost laughed, as he saw that Derek's plate was practically clean. He hadn't seemed to have had any problem.

"Know what?" Spencer asked as he quickly got to his feet.

Derek just looked up at him with an eyebrow arched inquisitively.

"I actually _did_ make a dessert last night," Spencer said with a small smile, a teasing glint in his eye.

It wasn't lost on him how Derek had stiffened slightly at the mention of 'dessert,' both of them knowing exactly where that had led to last night. But then Derek shook it off and smiled back at Spencer.

"Oh, yeah? You did, did you?" Derek said as he shook his head, trying not to laugh.

"Mm hmm, and I think you'll like it," Spencer said. "Let me go get us some."

Without even waiting for Derek's answer, Spencer was already grabbing the breakfast dishes and turning toward the kitchen. So, when Derek called after him, 'Make sure you really _are_ bringing dessert this time,' Spencer could only laugh.

A few minutes later, Spencer was walking back into the living room, and when Derek looked up, he could only chuckle as he saw that Spencer had only one plate in his hands. From what he could see, it looked like a slice of French Silk pie.

"What? I don't get any?" Derek asked, feigning a pout.

"No, of course you do," Spencer said as he slid his way back onto the couch, sidling up close next to Derek and tucking himself in between the couch and the older man's side.

"I just thought we'd share," Spencer said as he held up the fork and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Derek could only laugh at that. Spencer was _relentless_ , it seemed. But at least he was his 'normal,' playful self. That's all Derek really wanted. And it was definitely better than the reticent, unsure-looking boy he had woken up next to this morning. He wasn't sure if it was just shyness—and he really hoped it wasn't _regret—_ but he had decided to give Spencer his space. Now, Derek was happy that Spencer had seemed to relax, and so he was willing to indulge the boy a bit.

"Yeah? Is that what you thought?" Derek asked him slyly as he allowed himself to relax into the couch, even throwing an arm around Spencer's back, pulling him closer. He figured there was no harm in sharing dessert and some flirting.

Spencer smiled at him sweetly, already slicing into the pie and picking up a piece with the fork. He held up the fork and looked at Derek expectantly. Derek stared at him for a second, and then laughed again when he realized what Spencer wanted. He intended to _feed_ him. So, smiling, he opened his mouth, accepting Spencer's offering.

As his mouth closed over the tines of the fork and the deep chocolate flavor of the chilled dessert filled his mouth, Derek let out an appreciative moan, closing his eyes.

"You make me want to keep you around," Derek said with a laugh, as he leaned his head back against the couch.

Spencer flushed next to him, but his reaction was lost on Derek. He nibbled on his lip as he watched Derek's face, wondering if Derek's words were just playful banter or if there was any _truth_ to them. But when Derek opened his eyes and looked at Spencer expectantly, Spencer flushed a deeper shade of red and busied himself with scooping another piece of pie on to the fork. Before Derek could open his mouth to speak, Spencer was pushing the fork towards his lips and, smiling, Derek accepted the second bite of the treat. Spencer laughed as Derek gave another enthusiastic moan, and continued to feed the older man, taking a bite for himself every now and again.

When the last bites were done, Derek watched as Spencer reached above his head to place the empty plate on the end table behind them. But as soon as Spencer returned to his side, the boy's lips were on his mouth and his hands were pressing against his chest. Derek couldn't really complain as Spencer licked at his mouth. Spencer tasted _good_ , and he found himself enthusiastically sucking at the boy's lips.

They made out languidly for a few minutes, Spencer letting out soft sighs and moans, before Derek started to feel Spencer's fingers trailing downward until they began running lightly up and down his thigh. Pulling back slightly, Derek looked down at Spencer and raised a questioning eyebrow. Spencer just looked back up at him, swollen bottom lip tucked firmly between his teeth, and a playful expression on his face.

"Kid?" Derek asked.

But Spencer's only response was to move his hand up the length of Derek's thigh and rest it on Derek's jean-clad cock, causing Derek to jump at the unexpected contact.

"Do you want to… you know, go again?" Spencer asked, as he gave a tentative squeeze.

Derek had been watching Spencer closely all morning, and it hadn't been lost on him that Spencer had been walking a bit funny. He hadn't complained about it, but Derek was sure that the younger man must be sore. Derek would, of course, love to have another round with Spencer. He had been downright shocked about how good it had been with the kid last night. But, Derek knew this was all new to both of them, and he made sure that he had no 'expectations' about when their next time would be—if there even _was_ going to be a next time. But he definitely hadn't imagined it'd be the morning _after_.

Derek groaned as he forced himself to remove Spencer's hand from his slowly-awakening cock.

"Kid, we can't just spend the whole day cooped up in the house, going at it," Derek said, with a strained laugh.

Spencer licked his lips as he looked at him.

"Why not? I wouldn't mind that," Spencer said, with a small shrug.

Derek's eyes widened and he felt his mouth go dry. Oh, how he'd _love_ to do that. But he wasn't going to be _that_ indulgent.

"I… have a better idea. How about you let me take you out, huh? I promised I'd show you around the city," Derek said as he slipped away from Spencer and stood up.

Spencer frowned and began to open his mouth in protest, when he felt Derek press his fingers against his lips.

"Come on, that's what you came here for, isn't it? I'd feel bad if I didn't hold up my end of the bargain. Let me take you out. I promise you'll have a good time," Derek said, flashing him a big grin.

The warmth of his voice was enough to quiet Spencer. He had had half a mind to tell Derek that, no, he really _wasn't_ here to see D.C. While that was an added bonus, his _real_ goal had been to see _Derek_. But, Spencer considered, going out with Derek… well, that sounded really nice too. Like a date. And Spencer really hadn't been on very many of _those_ before.

"O-ok," Spencer finally said, once Derek had pulled his fingers away from his lips.

Derek smiled at him.

"Good. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. Now, come on, go get ready, so we can leave soon," he said, tilting his head in the direction of upstairs.

Nodding, Spencer ran upstairs to get his shoes and bag, and when he came back down, Derek was already standing by the door holding out Spencer's coat and scarf.

"Thanks," Spencer said as he quickly pulled on the items, remembering suddenly how cold it was outside. He had been blissfully ensconced in Derek's house and it was like he had forgotten everything else going on outside. He blushed and shook his head at himself. It wasn't like him to get so… sidetracked.

"And, here, don't forget these," Derek said, dragging him out of his thoughts, and tossing something in Spencer's direction.

Spencer's eyes widened as he instinctively reached out and caught the small bag. With brows furrowed, he looked down and opened the bag.

"Gloves?" he asked with a laugh, as he looked up at Derek.

"Yeah, I picked them up for you on the way home yesterday. I was going to give them to you last night but… well, we got a little distracted," Derek said with a smirk.

Spencer felt his cheeks heating as he shook his head, but he couldn't hide the smile on his face as he pulled out the soft, black gloves.

"Derek… you didn't have to get me these," Spencer said

"It's the least I could do," Derek said as he swung an arm around Spencer and led him to the door. "Can't have my Pretty Boy freezing his cute little butt off."

Spencer blushed but said nothing as he grinned and allowed Derek to lead him out the door.

* * *

An hour later found Derek and Spencer walking through the National Air & Space Museum. Derek had added this location to the top of his list of things he wanted to show Spencer during his visit. And, judging by the way that Spencer's eyes lit up as he peered into all the glass displays and read the descriptions of the items within, it had been a good choice.

Derek laughed as Spencer pointed to the words he was reading in front of a display depicting the propulsion engine in a rocket, explaining to Derek what he knew about the mechanism but, also, excitedly telling Derek how the diagram showed him the elements he _hadn't_ known, or understood, about it before. Derek had been surprised by those instances. With the way the younger man's mouth had been running a mile a minute, spouting what seemed to be his entire knowledge of space exploration, Derek had been initially a bit worried that there would be nothing for Spencer to 'learn' at the museum. But, every couple of displays Spencer came across something he hadn't seen before and it was like he actually _liked_ finding things he didn't know.

Derek chuckled to himself as Spencer grabbed his sleeve and started tugging him towards a large, life-size replica of a rocket thruster. He was almost like a kid in a candy store.

"Look at this!" Spencer said excitedly. "Isn't this _insane_ , Derek?"

Derek nodded along as he watched Spencer walk around the circumference of the large metal structure.

Before Derek could respond, he felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket, followed by a very familiar ringtone and he cursed. Spencer looked at him in confusion and Derek grimaced as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Work call," Derek said in explanation.

He had a particular ringtone he had assigned for work calls—any call from his team, including his boss, would trigger that tone. So, when he heard that ring he always knew something was up. And work came first; it didn't matter that it was a Saturday. But when he finally was able to look at the glowing screen, he saw Garcia's name come up and relaxed somewhat. It could still be a work-related call, but usually if it was Garcia calling, instead of Hotch, it was likely that it was nothing urgent.

"Um… I gotta take this," Derek said apologetically as he held up the phone, while simultaneously pointing behind him with his thumb, telling Spencer he had to step away for a bit.

"Don't worry," Spencer said with a smile as he waved Derek off. "I can keep myself entertained."

Derek smiled before turning away and walking to the entryway of the exhibit they were currently browsing through. He wanted to keep Spencer in his sights, while also not inconveniencing the other patrons with his phone call. From where he stood, about 20 feet away from Spencer, he could achieve both. Settling himself against the wall, making sure he could see Spencer, Derek engaged the call.

"Hey Mama," he said as he put the phone to his ear.

"Mmm, tall, dark and handsome, it's always nice to hear that voice," Garcia said in an almost-purr.

Derek couldn't help the smile that found its way to his lips upon hearing her flirtation.

"So, where are we going for brunch today?' she asked in a song-song voice.

And Derek froze.

" _Hello?_ Derek Morgan?" Garcia asked, after Derek failed to respond.

"Oh...damn, Baby Girl. Sorry, but I can't make it," Derek said, cringing slightly.

"We've had a standing date for Saturday brunch for as long as I can remember! Other than when you've been away on a case, you haven't missed a date in..." Garcia trailed off, trying to quantify the time.

"Almost 10 months!" She concluded with a gasp.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Something came up," Derek muttered as his eyes trailed fondly across the room to the tall, leggy brunette staring in awe at the display in front of him.

"'Something came up,' my ass, Derek Morgan! There's only one thing that could make you stand me up. And even _that_ one thing has been a rare reason for you to feel justified in skipping out on me, so now you don't get to dodge it anymore: _who_ is this mystery lady?" Garcia demanded.

"Baby Girl, can we not do this right now?" He asked with a sigh.

"Nope," she said almost immediately. "You were lucky that you were able to slip past me yesterday because Hotch promised you all an early night. But don't think I've forgotten about it. So, now that you've committed a mortal sin by putting this girl ahead of _me_ , I think I deserve at least some inkling as to who she is. I mean, she must be something to get the legendary Derek Morgan so caught up."

Derek scoffed.

" _Legendary?_ " He asked with distaste.

"Do you _really_ want me to stand here and list out to you the number of women you've slept with in the past year, let alone the past _month_ , my dear?" Garcia asked, and Derek could hear the smirk in her words.

No. No he did _not_ want Garcia to remind him of his less than...monogamous ways. Derek wasn't necessarily ashamed of his past actions. Most of the women he had been with recently were either comfortable with the 'no-strings attached' setup he usually required or they were the ones who suggested it themselves. It made sense for the busy lifestyle Derek had. And it was _fun_. But, now, glancing at Spencer, Derek suddenly felt like this was a part of himself he wanted to keep hidden from the younger man. Not because he wanted to be dishonest, but because he didn't want Spencer's opinion of him to be marred, or lessened, in any way.

"Earth to Morgan!" He heard Garcia's annoyed-sounding voice coming over the phone.

"Huh?" He asked.

"You better not be ignoring me, or I will flood your work computer with a porn virus. Don't test me, Derek Morgan," she threatened.

Derek cringed.

"No, no, Baby Girl. I'm not ignoring you, I just...got distracted..." he trailed off.

At that moment, Spencer spun around to grin excitedly at Derek, gesturing wildly to the display in front of him. Derek smiled back and waved, then pointed to his phone giving Spencer another apologetic look. Spencer just smiled warmly, waving away Derek's concern and turned back to the exhibit that had caught his attention.

"Wow...she's with you right now, huh?" Garcia asked, astutely.

Derek didn't even bother denying it.

"I gotta say I'm somewhat impressed, Derek. This must be something special if you're spending so much time with her. I just don't know why you're keeping her so hush-hush. Especially from _me_ ," Garcia said, and Derek could hear the slight sound of hurt in her voice.

"Penelope," he said, seriously. "It's...it's nothing like that. You know you'd be the first person I'd tell. It's just...right now things are really 'new,' and I just... I wanna just feel it out for a little bit. Ok, Baby Girl?"

He heard a soft 'hmm' over the phone, and couldn't tell if she was satisfied with his explanation or not, but then she sighed dramatically.

"Fine, fine," she conceded. "You can have your secrets for a little while longer. But, just tell me one thing: is she gorgeous?"

Derek glanced at Spencer, who was bending over a glass table display, eyes bright in wonder and lips slightly parted. Derek felt that strange 'something' swell in his chest yet again.

"Beyond compare," he answered, without hesitation.

"Whoa, you're making Mama jealous," Garcia said, feigning offense.

Derek smirked and couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, you are a _goddess_ , Penelope Garcia. You can't expect anyone to be able to compare you to mere mortals," he said, voice sultry.

Garcia laughed.

"Smooth move, Chocolate Thunder. For that I'll forgive you standing me up and all the secrecy," she said.

Derek laughed in return.

"But seriously," she said, after a moment. "Good luck with this. She seems special to you, and I honestly hope everything works out. You need some good in your life."

"Thanks, Mama," Derek said softly.

"Well, I won't keep you from her any longer. Kisses, my love!" Garcia sang, before ending the call.

Once the line went dead, Derek held his phone in his hand for a while longer as he looked at Spencer. Garcia's words made his thoughts run amok and caused something to clench in his chest. He had no idea what this 'thing' between him and Spencer _was_. And that made him anxious. He knew it had been impulsive to let himself get caught up and act on his attraction to Spencer last night. It definitely had not been on his agenda of 'things for Spencer to do in D.C.,' that was for sure. And while everything about those moments was electrifying and mind-blowing in every possible way, Derek felt like he was, quite simply, out of his element. They hadn't hashed anything out. They hadn't made any rules or boundaries. This wasn't usually the way Derek operated. Things were always defined. He never had to feel… _confused_ about what he wanted.

Watching Spencer's wide-eyed expression as he spoke with one of the museum docents, it reminded Derek again about how _young_ Spencer was. How innocent. How much bad the kid had had to deal with in his few short years. Derek didn't want to add to any of that. He didn't want to make anything in Spencer's life _harder_ than it had already been.

And, just like he had felt that night, over six months ago, when he had kneeled before Spencer, baring his heart and trying to tell the kid he was no good for him—that Spencer should want, and even _needed_ , someone else—Derek felt like it was his job to convince Spencer to push him away. But, he had done a pretty shitty job of it so far, he thought to himself with a frown. It did _not_ make sense for him to have slept with Spencer, knowing the consequences. The emotional attachment. Especially the feelings that would come along with the fact that he had been Spencer's _first_. The sudden thought made him heat up, and flooded his mind with the image of Spencer underneath him, flushed, panting, gripping him tight as he moaned.

Derek knew he should probably feel ashamed, or mad at himself that he had lost control. But he _wasn't_. He would never say it out loud, but he felt a semblance of pride. He was happy that Spencer hadn't fallen prey to some slimy asshole whose only goal would have been to hurt him. He was happy that he was the first, and only one, so far, to have seen Spencer that way. He already felt possessive of him. But, what sense did that make? The kid was only going to be here for another week. Derek had no idea what the _hell_ he was doing.

"Derek!" Spencer called as he looked over at him with a wide grin, noticing that he had finished his phone call. "Come here! This guy says they have a special Physics Magic exhibit this month!"

Derek hesitated a moment, all his earlier musings still trying to force their way into his consciousness, before he pushed off the wall, dismissing them for the time being. He then returned Spencer's wide grin as he started walking back over to them.

"Well, I was _hoping_ for it to be a surprise," Derek teased.

* * *

The day passed by quickly, and at the end of the night, Spencer and Derek settled down to an Italian dinner, chatting over their day. Spencer couldn't stop going on about the fun he had had, and, most importantly, how different everything was from what he was used to, back in Vegas.

Derek smiled at the younger man's excitement. He had had quite a good time himself, as well. After leaving the museum, he had actually been able to convince Spencer to go ice-skating at the Art Sculpture Garden ice rink. They had only spent about an hour out on the ice once Derek realized that 1) Spencer was all long legs and knobby knees (somewhat like a baby giraffe) and had no idea what he was doing; and 2) he just couldn't take the sight of Spencer's nose and lips getting red in the cold air. It also had made Derek very interested in _kissing_ those lips. But he had resisted.

Instead, he had treated Spencer to hot chocolate, which the kid had been especially grateful for. Derek couldn't help but cringe, however, as he watched Spencer add two spoons of sugar to the already sweet drink. Afterwards, he had taken Spencer to a live jazz set at one of his favorite cafes. Spencer was enthralled, and knew a surprising number of facts about the history of jazz, but Derek had had to remind him to keep his voice down, as they had been hushed by other patrons more than once. It had been fun.

They had made it to the restaurant around when the sun was starting to set, and had thoroughly enjoyed everything they had eaten. But their meal had soon come to an end, and Derek watched on with amusement as Spencer let out a satisfied sigh, pushing himself slightly away from the table and his mostly-empty plate. It was moments like this that made Derek happy. The distrustful, closed-off boy he had first come across in Vegas six months ago seemed like just a figment compared to the bright-eyed young man sitting in front of him. It seemed that leaving the work at the Club, and re-enrolling in college, had been all around good for Spencer. And Derek was thankful for that.

As Derek continued in his musings, he was aware of Spencer looking up at him, catching his eyes. Derek smiled at Spencer once the younger man looked at him, and watched as he blushed slightly, as if feeling self-conscious with Derek's eyes on him. Although this was the same boy who could wantonly tease him with filthy promises, it was always endearing to him how shy Spencer could sometimes become when Derek flirted with him, or how easily the boy blushed if Derek winked at him. Derek found himself trying to resist the urge to reach over and stroke Spencer's hand.

But, then their waitress appeared at their sides. And Derek and Spencer smiled up at her as she offered them the dessert menus.

"You want dessert?" Derek asked, catching Spencer's eyes.

"I _always_ want dessert," Spencer said happily as he picked up the small menu.

Smiling, Derek tugged it out of his hands before Spencer could get a good look at it.

"Hey!" Spencer said, giving Derek what the older man could only describe as a pout.

"We'll get you something sweet, trust me. I just have someplace different in mind," Derek said with a wink.

Spencer gave him a suspicious look, but Derek just laughed in response.

"Trust me, I know a great place," Derek said, smiling warmly.

* * *

Half an hour later, Derek and Spencer walked into the Downtown Holiday Market. It was an elaborate grid of outdoor vendors and stalls stretching out across two blocks in front of the Smithsonian American Art Museum. It was exciting and bright; music, sounds and smells coming from all directions. But it was also a bit overwhelming for Spencer, who, at some point as they strolled between the stalls and people, began to crowd in close to Derek's side.

Smiling down at the younger man, Derek couldn't help but throw an arm around his shoulder and pull him in closer.

"How do you like it?" Derek asked him, mouth close to his ear.

Spencer blushed and shivered as Derek's warm breath ran over the sensitive skin. Pretending that he was cold, he rubbed his gloved hands together.

"It's really nice! But there are _so_ many people," Spencer said with a tight smile.

Derek laughed.

"Yeah, it's a popular spot. But, what I _really_ wanted to bring you here for are the donuts," Derek said with a grin.

"Donuts?" Spencer asked, perking up a little.

"Yup. Freshly made, piping hot donuts, in any flavor you want. I figure we could pick some up and eat 'em out here, or head back if you're tired," Derek said.

"Sounds good," Spencer said smiling.

Glancing down the walkway, Derek could see that the stall he wanted to go to already had a long line in front of it. It would probably be a 15-20 minute wait. That wasn't surprising, though; it was a Saturday night and it wasn't as cold out as it had been the last couple of nights. A lot of people were out tonight.

"You wanna hang back while I go buy them? I doubt you'd want to have to stand in that crowd," Derek asked as he pointed towards the mass of people.

Spencer looked a bit embarrassed but nodded in agreement. Derek walked him over to a street lamp near the entrance of the aisle. There were fewer people there and the noises were diminished.

"Just wait here, alright? I'll try to be as fast as I can," Derek said.

"Okay," Spencer agreed as he settled himself against the post.

Derek made to turn and head towards the stall, but paused and glanced back at Spencer.

"Don't move, ok?" he said, giving Spencer a meaningful look.

Spencer rolled his eyes but smiled as he nodded at Derek.

Derek smiled back before winking at him and then turning to walk towards the stands.

Spencer couldn't help but smile to himself at Derek's actions as he watched the tall man walk away. He had had such a good time with Derek today. Derek had been attentive, playful, and flirtatious. Spencer had also noticed that Derek was very protective over him, but Spencer imagined that it was a subconscious habit. Derek seemed to always be putting an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. When they walked on the street, it seemed like Derek always wanted to make sure that others didn't bump into him. Like he wanted to keep Spencer all to himself. It felt like they were _together_.

Spencer blushed to himself as he looked down at his feet, chest warming at that thought. But his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of laughing as a group walked past him. Glancing up, curiously, Spencer could see a raucous group of about five guys around his age, laughing and shoving each other playfully. He caught the eye of one—a blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy who seemed to be the loudest one—and the stranger smiled at him, tapping the arm of one of his friends, getting the group to stop.

Spencer flinched when he realized he had drawn their attention, and immediately cast his eyes back to the ground. But his attempt to dissuade them went unheeded and in a few seconds he was surrounded by the group. None of them were standing close enough to be threatening, but Spencer couldn't help feeling slightly panicked.

"Hey, you're _cute_ ," the blonde one said, causing Spencer's head to snap up as he stared at them.

"Aww, really really cute," another voice came, from his right.

"What're you doing out here all alone?" the blonde asked, pouting playfully.

Spencer's eyebrows rose. He looked around the group of smiling faces and could see that they meant him no harm. But he felt his face flushing, nonetheless, not wanting all the attention.

"Um… I-I'm just waiting-" Spencer began, but he was cut off by the leader again.

"Hey, we're all heading out to a really great club down in Dupont Circle. A cutie like you shouldn't just be hanging out here on a Saturday night," blondie continued.

Spencer blushed again, quickly glancing around the group.

"You don't look like you're from the area. Do you go to school here? Or, if you're new in town, we can totally show you all the good spots. My friends and I know how to have a really good time," blondie said.

"Uh… No, I don't go to school here. I'm from Vegas, actually. I'm just… visiting," Spencer murmured.

"Oooh, _Vegas_ ," one of the boys said with a grin. He was shorter than the rest of them, with dark brown hair, dark eyes, and dimples. The other guys laughed and gave Spencer impressed looks.

"So, first things first, since I seem to have forgotten my manners. What's your name? My name's Justin. This is Ricky, T.J., Leo and Ryan," the blonde said as he pointed to himself and the other four faces.

"Uh… Spencer," Spencer responded, feeling pretty overwhelmed by Justin's rapid-pace conversation style.

"Oh, _Spencer_!" Justin said with a wide smile. "Even your name's adorable!"

The other boys laughed and smiled at him. Spencer smiled uncertainly, but he relaxed a bit.

"We're going out to cheer up our poor friend Ryan over here," Justin said as he motioned over to the boy he had pointed out a few moments before.

Glancing at 'Ryan,' Spencer could see that he was the most reticent of the group, but looked kind. He had sandy brown hair and what looked to be green eyes. He was a bit taller than Spencer and seemed to have an impressive musculature under his dark coat, like he probably played some type of contact-sport. He smiled at Spencer apologetically, as if he wanted to make up for his friends' behavior. Spencer could only smile shyly back.

"Yeah," responded a boy with dark, curly hair, who Spencer thought Justin had said was named 'T.J.' "Ryan's been going solo for too long. It's been like… 3 _months_ since things ended between him and his last boyfriend. It's time this boy jumped back on the _saddle_."

"Hey!" Ryan said, face flushing in embarrassment. His friends just laughed.

Justin grinned as he stepped closer to Spencer, as if he wanted to tell him something in confidence. Justin was around Spencer's height, but Spencer still found himself feeling slightly cowed by his effusiveness and shrunk back a bit. Justin threw his arm over Spencer's shoulder and leaned down to 'whisper' in his ear, loud enough for the other four to hear.

"You're actually _just_ Ryan's type. We thought it might be a bust tonight because Ryan's really so picky and kind of a stick-in-the-mud. But, it was like totally fate that we ran into you! And don't you think Ryan's totally gorgeous too? I'm sure you guys will really get along. So, come on. Why don't you come out with us, Spencer?" Justin asked in a mock-whine.

Spencer felt his face heat up again. They were _genuinely_ asking him to hang out. Even though Spencer had no intention of going to any clubs with them—or really any interest, for that matter—it was still extremely flattering to have such a friendly group of guys his age showing interest in him for once.

"Guys, cut it out," Ryan said, face still red. "He doesn't look like he's interested."

"Well, maybe he doesn't _know_ if he's interested, yet. I've been known to be able to recruit a boy or two over to our side," Leo, the shorter boy with dimples, said with a wink.

"Yeah, we could show him the ropes," T.J. said as he grinned and the rest of the boys laughed in agreement.

"So, what do you say, Spencer? Wanna come out and have some fun with us? You don't want to leave poor Ryan all alone tonight, do you? Just look at him. He obviously thinks you're cute," Justin said as he stepped back and nodded over in Ryan's direction. "How about adding a little extra excitement to your life?"

Glancing towards the taller boy in question, Spencer's face heated as well when he saw that Ryan was blushing and shyly looking at him. Spencer's lips parted to begin to explain that he was already 'seeing' someone, but he paused in mid-thought, wondering if that was even _true._

He had had sex with Derek. So he knew that meant _something._ But, Spencer had been the one to confess his feelings. Derek hadn't confirmed, or denied, anything. And although Derek had seemed like he _wanted_ Spencer, Spencer wasn't naïve enough not to know that having sex and being in a relationship were often not one in the same thing. He had spent four years of his life learning that sex could very often be meaningless.

And he didn't even know how one went about becoming a 'boyfriend.' Would Derek have to _ask_ him? Would Spencer have to be the one to ask for it? He didn't know. He didn't even know if you could call yourself someone's 'boyfriend' after only having had sex _once._ But even though it had been only one time—and his _first_ time, Spencer thought with a blush—having sex with Derek had stuck with him. He had found himself thinking about it all day. His body felt different, like he could still feel Derek on top of him, beside him, _inside_ him. It made him hot just thinking about it.

Of course, he wanted something more with Derek. Ultimately, he wanted Derek to want to be _with_ him—for him to feel as strongly about Spencer as Spencer did about him. But, for right now, he couldn't deny that he had very much enjoyed the closeness they had shared last night. He enjoyed being able to be with Derek so intimately. And, hell, he had enjoyed the sex because Derek Morgan was _good_ at it. So, for right now he was content without being able to really 'define' what it was they were to each other. He hoped that he would be able to figure it out soon, though.

Looking at the boys who were staring at him expectantly, Spencer tried to will himself to stop blushing.

"Um… it's really nice of you guys to offer but… I… well, I'm kind of… sort of _with_ someo-" he began, but his words were cut off as he felt a heavy arm fall down around his shoulder.

Jumping in surprise, he turned to see Derek standing next to him, a strange expression on his face.

"You ok, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked, but he wasn't looking at Spencer. He seemed to be sizing up the group of boys standing across from them. Derek didn't look _angry,_ per se, but he seemed to be wary and Spencer could feel that his body was tense.

"Ah… yes, everything's _fine,_ Derek," Spencer blurted out, for some reason feeling embarrassed by this show of… what was it? Bravado? Possessiveness?

"Well, it looks like he's got himself some 'excitement' in his life _already_ ," one of the boys said mischievously. Spencer had no idea who had spoken, because he was too busy looking at Derek's stern face.

Derek's eyebrow rose inquisitively, and Spencer could feel his grip around his shoulder tighten slightly.

"But, I gotta say, if this is your man then you sure know how to pick 'em. He is _fine_ ," T.J. said with a smile.

Out of the corner of his eye, Spencer noticed that Justin gave Ryan an apologetic look, and Spencer felt his face flush. He felt bad to see Ryan looking so dejected.

"Yes! I knew he was on our team!" Leo interjected with a laugh as he nudged his friends. He then turned and grinned lasciviously at Spencer and Derek.

"But, I see you like 'em a little older, though, huh? Is your Daddy taking good care of you?" Leo asked, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

Spencer face flushed hotly with mortification and he was sure that, this time, Derek's hold on him really did tighten. He hoped Derek wasn't offended. Spencer had, in such a short time, already learned that this was this group's way of harmless teasing. He hoped Derek understood that as well.

"Hey, Chocolate Beefcake, I see you staking your claim on this cutie-pie here, but, really, Spencer was having a good time with us. Won't you let your boy-toy come out and play? We're sure we can show him some fun things. You know, things more along the lines of what someone his _age_ would enjoy?" Justin asked with a smirk.

Spencer could see that Derek hadn't liked hearing that, but the man slightly relaxed his grip around his shoulder as he looked to him. The expression in Derek's dark eyes was unreadable, and Spencer's brows furrowed in concern.

"You interested in hanging out with them?" Derek asked, in a flat tone that gave the impression that he would be fine either way.

Spencer frowned slightly, body tensing.

"No. I don't want to go with them. I want to stay with you," Spencer said pointedly.

Then Derek grinned at him, and Spencer thought for a second that he looked slightly relieved, before he turned back to stare at the group of guys.

"You heard him. Apparently the kid wants to stay with someone a little more _mature_. So you guys can step off," Derek said, smiling at them.

The boys laughed good-naturedly as some of them whistled and cat-called.

"Whoo, ok. Well, we don't want to get in between all this raw sexual tension we can sense going on here," Justin said playfully as he held his hands up and took a step back.

"Guys, let's get out of here before we all start getting jealous that we don't have what Spencer has," Justin then said to his friends as he winked at them. The other boys laughed and smiled, saying their goodbyes as they began to walk away.

"Um…thanks for offering, though!" Spencer called after them.

"Sure thing, sugar! We walk through here almost every night so if you ever change your mind, you know where to find us," Justin said as he spun on his heel and blew a kiss in Spencer's direction.

The other boys laughed their agreement and the group continued to cat-call as they walked away.

"That was… strange," Spencer said after a moment, laughing softly.

Derek seemed quiet, but he still had his arm around Spencer's shoulder.

"Come on," he said, as he held up the bag in his hand, "you want to head back and finish this at home?"

Spencer stared at the older man, wondering why he seemed so stand-offish, but Derek wasn't meeting his eyes.

"Uh huh," Spencer responded after a moment.

Nodding, Derek ushered Spencer away from the Market, arm still slung over his shoulder. They walked in silence for a few minutes as they headed back to the car, and Spencer found himself becoming more and more confused.

"Are you ok?" Spencer finally asked.

Derek glanced at him, eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well… I dunno, you've been really quiet this whole time. Is something wrong?" Spencer asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Derek looked away.

"Nope," he said.

Spencer couldn't understand what was going on. Whatever was bothering Derek seemed to be more like something Derek was mad at _himself_ for. And that was the only reason Spencer wasn't panicking. But he was still confused. Derek had seemed fine before he had left to go get the donuts, but ever since he came upon the scene with the boys asking him out, he had seemed really tense. And then a lightbulb went off in Spencer's head and his eyes widened.

"Oh!" Spencer exclaimed as he came to a stop, causing Derek to halt as well.

Derek turned to look at him, arm still slung over his shoulder, a curious expression on his face.

"Are you…perhaps _jealous_?" Spencer asked, disbelief in his voice.

He felt Derek tense up, and saw his eyebrows rise in shock, but the flustered look he held was not lost on Spencer.

"Kid, don't get ahead of yourself," Derek said, in a weak attempt to deflect.

Spencer blushed as he thought about it, and the more he did, it really seemed like Derek _was_ jealous.

"You… Derek you don't have any reason to be jealous," Spencer continued.

"I'm _not_ jealous!" Derek said as he pulled his arm away and began walking.

"Wait!" Spencer said as he trotted after him.

Derek wasn't really walking as if he intended to ditch Spencer, and the boy quickly overtook him, grabbing one of his hands to stop him in his place.

"You don't have to be jealous because it's _obvious_ I'd never go with them," Spencer said shyly as he looked down at their hands. "I already told you I want to be with you. There's no one else who could get my attention like that. I'm all yours Derek. Whenever, and however, you want me."

Spencer chanced glancing up to see if Derek had been convinced and a shudder of desire ran through him when he saw the look in Derek's eyes. It was heated. Spencer's lips parted, opening to say he wasn't really sure what. But before he could give life to even a single word, Derek's hand was reaching up to wrap around the back of his neck and was pulling him forward to meet his lips. A soft gasp escaped Spencer's mouth as Derek backed him up against the building they had stopped next to.

Spencer felt the cold surface of the brick pressing into the backs of his hands as he allowed Derek to devour his mouth. He gasped again, shuddering when Derek pressed his body into him, feeling overwhelmed by the older man's size and heat.

"You keep saying things that are fucking with my head, kid," Derek breathed against Spencer's lips, one hand pressed against his cheek, the other fisted by his face, still clutching the bag of donuts.

Spencer wasn't sure how to respond to that. Or whether it was a good or bad thing. But then Derek's tongue was in his mouth again, and all semblance of coherent thought went out the window. Spencer was lost in the heat and the headiness, his nostrils bombarded by the woodsy scent of Derek's cologne and the sweet smell of the treats Derek held. When Derek finally pulled his mouth away from Spencer's, both men were breathing heavily.

"Come on, let's go home," Derek said as he ran his thumb over Spencer's moist bottom lip. Spencer shuddered and dazedly followed when Derek grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from the wall.

The car was only a few feet away and they quickly made it inside, buckling up and starting the car. As Derek pulled away, driving a bit faster than Spencer could remember ever seeing him drive, Spencer couldn't help but feel a little excited. _Derek_ had been the one to initiate this time. And, apparently, Derek meant for them to have a repeat performance of last night.

Emboldened, Spencer bit his bottom lip and slid his hand off his lap and across the center console, resting his hand on Derek's inner thigh. He felt the older man stiffen under his touch, but Spencer allowed himself to squeeze Derek's thigh, hand dangerously close to what Spencer could see, even in the dim light of the car's interior, was an obvious erection.

But Derek grabbed his hand, stilling him, and Spencer's heart hammered, wondering if he had completely misread the situation. Derek only glanced at him briefly, barely taking his eyes off the road, and all Spencer could see was that Derek's eyes were dark. But then Derek squeezed his hand tightly, before gently moving it to place it on Spencer's own thigh.

"When we get home," was all Derek said, voice full of promise.

Spencer could only swallow thickly, insides already trembling in anticipation as he clasped his hands on his lap and forced himself to wait. They would be home soon.

* * *

Once the car was parked outside of Derek's townhouse, Derek and Spencer quickly exited the car with only one thing on either of their minds, the bag of donuts forgotten on the seat.

When they stepped inside, Derek wasted no time in pushing Spencer up against the closed front door. As his lips found purchase on Spencer's neck, sucking at his pulse, his hands moved quickly, unbuttoning Spencer's coat and pulling it off. Trembling slightly, Spencer's hands went up to his own neck to tug off his scarf. The items fell to the ground around their legs, and Derek toed them out of the way.

Moaning as Derek continued to kiss, lick and suck at his neck, Spencer's hands blindly reached for Derek's coat, wanting badly to feel the other man's skin, but he was having so much trouble focusing that his fingers felt clumsy and leaden. Sensing Spencer's frustration, Derek's hands made quick work of his own coat, unzipping it and tossing it on the ground. Sighing in contentment, Spencer let his hands sneak up under Derek's shirt, skirting over the hard planes of his stomach.

In return, Derek's hands skimmed along Spencer's back, making their way downwards, until they ran over the curve of Spencer's jean-clad rear. Squeezing at the firm globes, Derek couldn't help the groan that left his lips as he heard Spencer's breathy and encouraging moan. It sent a jolt of desire straight to Derek's already engorged cock. Cupping Spencer's ass in his hands and pulling Spencer hard against him, Derek almost growled as their bodies pressed up against each other.

"Up," Derek ordered as he began lifting him and, responding quickly, Spencer allowed Derek to lift him fully, wrapping his legs around Derek's trim waist once he was off the ground. It always blew Spencer's mind how Derek was capable of manhandling him like this. It was as if he weighed nothing. Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek's neck and held on as he felt Derek turning and moving, walking them through the dark living room. He hadn't put on any of the lights, but it seemed like Derek was fine to navigate by the light of the moon pouring in through the blinds.

As Spencer felt them going up the stairs, he squeezed his thighs against Derek's waist, rubbing himself against his stomach, and leaned down to nibble on Derek's earlobe. He was rewarded with a deep groan and a rough squeeze to his ass which was still cupped in Derek's palms. It only took a few more strides before they were walking into Derek's room and as Derek flicked the switch, casting the room in a soft, golden glow, Spencer couldn't stop himself from thrusting against Derek again. He was too excited.

"Shit, Pretty Boy," Derek growled out as he quickly strode over to the bed. "You're ready to go, aren't you?"

Spencer could only moan in response as Derek lowered himself and Spencer on to the bed. Without allowing Spencer to detangle himself, Derek pressed his body down on to Spencer's and Spencer immediately opened his legs wider to allow Derek's body to fit snug against him. Derek ground down against him, giving Spencer much needed relief but also showing the younger man just how turned on he was, as well. Spencer whimpered and brought his hands up to cup Derek's cheeks as he sought out his lips.

As Derek's mouth and tongue worshipped Spencer's, his hands were busy pulling at Spencer's belt. Once he was able to unbuckle it, he made quick work of the button and zipper and, soon, Spencer's jeans were pushed down around his knees. Derek's hand quickly slipped into the front of Spencer's boxer-briefs and began to palm at the boy's stiff cock. Gasping, Spencer bucked upwards, wanting to feel more of Derek's ministrations. Happy to oblige, Derek continued to bite and suck at Spencer's neck and chin as he rubbed harder. Spencer's moans and whines got louder as his hips thrusted upwards even quicker.

"W-wait," Spencer gasped. "Mm… Derek! Don't make me cum yet. I-I want you in me."

Giving Spencer one more teasing squeeze, before pulling his hand away, Derek captured Spencer's lips, moaning against them.

"Ok, just give me a second," Derek promised in a low growl as he pulled his lips away from Spencer's.

He quickly pushed himself off the bed, and jumped to his feet, walking over to where he had left the bottle of lube on the nightstand from the night before and grabbed it. As he turned back to the bed, he could see Spencer was hurriedly kicking off his jeans and pushing down his underwear before he tugged his sweater and shirt up over his head, mussing his wavy hair. Derek couldn't help but secretly be amused at the fact that Spencer had quickly gotten over his shyness at being seen naked. It also turned him on to no end to see Spencer sitting on the bed, lips kiss-swollen and cheeks flushed, completely bare and waiting for him.

Joining him on the bed, Derek pulled off his own t-shirt and tossed it haphazardly on the floor. Before his hands could make it to the waistband of his jeans, Spencer was crawling over to him, hands reaching out to stroke at his arms and chest. His lips soon followed the path of his hands, as he began to kiss, bite and tongue his way across Derek's collarbone and shoulders. Derek groaned and bucked his hips in appreciation, as one hand came up to cradle the back of Spencer's head, holding him close.

"Really really love your tattoos," Spencer panted out, as his tongue licked over the inked skin on Derek's shoulder.

"Yeah, I could pick up on that," Derek moaned, before he gently pushed Spencer back down on to the bed.

Spencer watched, chest rising up and down with his rapid breaths, and legs spread, as Derek squeezed a generous amount of lube on to his fingers.

"Need you to relax and open up for me, baby," Derek said as he pressed his slick fingers against Spencer's tight entrance.

Spencer moaned as he closed his eyes and nodded enthusiastically. Derek pressed one finger inside, and Spencer trembled., bucking his hips almost as soon as the digit breached him. He moaned breathily as Derek pumped the finger inside of him, in deep slow strokes. Soon, Derek was pushing two slick fingers inside and Spencer panted, loving the feeling of being filled and stretched. But he wanted more.

"Hurry, Derek. Hurry," Spencer whined.

"Not yet, baby boy," Derek breathed as his eyes trailed down to where his fingers were disappearing inside Spencer's welcoming body, still amazed about how tight Spencer was.

Frustrated, Spencer began to push down on Derek's fingers, trying to get what he wanted himself. Derek watched as Spencer's hand crept to his cock and squeezed, as if he was right on the precipice of coming and had to restrain himself.

"Derek, _please_ ," Spencer moaned, voice sending a jolt of arousal down Derek's spine and straight to his own rock-hard cock.

"Ok, ok. I don't have to be told twice," Derek panted as he slipped his fingers from the clenching hole.

Spencer's eyes fluttered open to watch Derek quickly shuck off his own jeans and underwear. Spencer's face flamed and his lips parted as he watched Derek grab the bottle of lube and slick himself up. Spencer couldn't help but to whine a little at the sight. And then, when Derek returned to the bed, he grinned as he leaned down, capturing Spencer's lips.

"How do you want it?" Derek breathed against his lips, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Spencer was confused for a split-second, before it dawned on him what Derek was asking. And he blushed as he looked into Derek's hungry eyes.

"I-I… liked it best from behind," Spencer admitted, feeling overcome with embarrassment, and quickly looking away.

"Good," Derek almost purred, as he sat back and grabbed Spencer's shoulders, attempting to turn him on to his front.

"B-but! Wait," Spencer said hurriedly, halting Derek's attempts.

Derek watched as the boy's red face flushed even more.

"What's wrong? You can tell me anything. Don't be embarrassed," Derek said as he leaned in and kissed Spencer softly on his forehead.

"I-I…" Spencer stammered. "Um… it felt best from b-behind, but… I just… I want to be able to see your face, and um… k-kiss you."

Spencer seemed extremely embarrassed, but Derek just grinned as he leaned away from him.

"Don't worry, I think I have a solution to that," Derek said as he scooted up and settled himself on the middle of the bed. "Come here."

Spencer crawled towards Derek and allowed the older man to fold him into his arms as they both lay on their sides and resumed kissing. Derek's hands smoothed down Spencer's back, squeezing playfully at his cheeks once they landed on his rounded bottom, causing Spencer to let out a small squeak.

"Turn around," Derek murmured as his warm hands moved to Spencer's hips.

Nodding, Spencer allowed Derek to position them so that Spencer was on his side and Derek was sidled up behind him, pressed flush against Spencer's back. Spencer trembled as he felt Derek's hard cock sliding along his ass, heavy, hot and slick. Derek's left arm was wrapped under Spencer's left side, warm palm sliding teasingly up and down Spencer's quivering chest and abdomen, while his other hand traced lazy patterns on Spencer's soft hip. Spencer sighed in his embrace, liking the feeling of being surrounded on all sides.

Derek then leaned down and began suckling on the space between Spencer's shoulder and neck, and Spencer could only squirm and whine in response. Wanting to touch Derek back, Spencer turned his head slightly, right arm reaching up behind him so he could hook it behind Derek's neck and pull the man closer to him, searching for his lips. Obliging, Derek moved his mouth to meet Spencer's. His tongue dipped into the boy's sweet mouth, gaining a sultry moan in response. Smiling against Spencer's lips, Derek slipped his hand to the inside of Spencer's thigh.

"Come on, raise your leg," Derek instructed in a breathy voice as his heavy hand squeezed at the pale flesh. And Spencer acquiesced, allowing Derek to grab his thigh, pulling his legs apart, and hooking the raised leg behind Derek's calf, leaving him open and exposed.

Spencer moaned softly against Derek's lips as he felt Derek moving behind him, canting his hips downwards until Spencer could feel his hard cock nudging against his entrance. But he didn't push in, as Spencer had anticipated. Instead, Derek only rocked his hips slightly, teasing Spencer's stretched and wanting hole with the tip of his cock, causing Spencer to twitch and squirm.

"Derek, come on," Spencer pleaded as he tried to move his hips backwards, hating the feeling of being denied.

"Shh," Derek whispered huskily against his ear before he pulled the lobe in between his teeth. "Be patient."

Derek leaned down to capture Spencer's lips again, as his thumb and forefinger pinched one of Spencer's nipples. Spencer bucked against him, trembling with want. His head was already heady, his senses feeling on high-alert, everything over-heightened with arousal.

"You ready for me, baby?" Derek asked as his hand slipped down to tease at Spencer's neglected cock.

But Spencer could only moan unintelligibly in response.

"I'm putting it in. Remember to relax," Derek breathed as he returned his hand to Spencer's trembling abdomen, holding him in place, and nudged against his opening.

Spencer nodded, biting his lip, and Derek rocked his hips forward.

He whimpered as Derek pushed into him, hand immediately shooting up to clasp over Derek's hand that was splayed across his stomach. Derek stilled, thinking Spencer's action was meant to stop him, but Spencer squeezed his hand, telling him he was fine. The sensations were, as always, overwhelming. He just needed an anchor; something to hold on to.

"It's okay, keep going," Spencer whined as he tried to push back against him. It still hurt, but Spencer had already grown to crave the feeling inside of him. He liked feeling Derek spread him open. Hearing Derek's appreciative sigh, Spencer gritted his teeth as he felt Derek slide deeper inside of him. He couldn't help the breathy moan that escaped his lips.

"Good?" Derek asked, mouthing along the line of Spencer's throat as the boy trembled in his arms.

"Nnn," Spencer moaned. "Yesss, so good."

That seemed to be all Derek needed to hear, as his grip on Spencer's thigh tightened, making sure that Spencer stayed open for him, and the arm around his waist pulled Spencer closer, so that their bodies remained flush. And then Derek was thrusting with hard, controlled strokes, sliding deep and drawing choppy gasps from Spencer's throat. Whining, Spencer turned his head again, telling Derek that he wanted to kiss him, and Derek's mouth latched on to his, swallowing his moans and whimpers.

"Pretty Boy, you're so tight," Derek breathed against his lips, causing Spencer's walls to involuntarily clench down around him.

"Shit," Derek groaned, as he increased the speed of his thrusts, grip tight on Spencer's hip. Spencer whined as Derek pounded into him, sometimes striking that place inside of him. Every time he rubbed up against it, it was like white bursts were going off behind Spencer's eyelids, wiping all sensible thought from his mind.

"Ungh….Right there! So good! I can't… I can't hold on," Spencer gasped, throwing his head back and hands grasping blindly at Derek's arm. Derek could feel Spencer's nails scratching at his skin, and let out a pleased hiss at the burning sensation.

"It's ok, baby. It's ok," Derek breathed into his hair as he increased the speed and depth of his thrusts, concentrating on hitting the place inside Spencer he knew made the boy's body clench and tremble.

"Oh, God, Derek. Oh, God," Spencer panted, swollen pink lips parted and quivering. "So good… Mmm. I can't… I can't… Oh Derek. Love you…. Love you so much. Aaah!"

And then Spencer was coming, insides clenching and convulsing around Derek. Derek groaned as Spencer's body shook, the tight wet heat too much for him. And, arms locking around Spencer's waist, Derek found himself coming seconds behind him, blindly thrusting his hips hard and deep as his come spurted inside the warm cavern.

When they finally came down from their high, Derek was still holding Spencer tight in his arms, Spencer's arms crossed on top of his, both panting heavily. Giving Spencer another tight squeeze, Derek nuzzled his face into the damp hair at the base of Spencer's neck, kissing him. Spencer moaned happily.

"I came… without you even needing to _touch_ me," Spencer said, dazed and somewhat in awe.

Derek chuckled against his skin, kissing him one more time before he slowly pulled his cock out of Spencer, causing the boy to whine. Spencer rolled on to his stomach, letting out a sigh of contentment as he laid his head on his folded arms, looking like he was about ready to drift off into a nice nap.

But then as Derek sat up, his eyes were drawn to the sticky white mess already staining Spencer's thighs and he cursed.

"Oh, fuck," Derek said.

"Hmm?" Spencer asked sleepily.

"Shit, kid. I forgot to use a condom— _again —_ and I came inside," Derek said, sounding panicked.

"So?" Spencer asked disinterestedly, voice muffled against his arms.

"Spencer," Derek said firmly as he rubbed at the small of Spencer's back, trying to get his attention. "This… That's _not_ okay."

"Why…? Who cares? We did it last time without a condom, too," Spencer murmured.

"Yeah, and that was a problem then too!" Derek said as he continued to prod at Spencer's back, but Spencer just groaned and tried to swat at his persistent hands.

"Hey, hey. Get up. You gotta talk to me," Derek said seriously, as he forced Spencer to roll on to his back.

Spencer opened his half-lidded eyes wider, looking somewhat annoyed to have been disturbed.

"Spencer… it's not okay that I didn't use a condom," Derek said, giving Spencer a stern look, but it was obvious that the only person he was really angry with was himself.

Spencer sat up slightly and gave Derek a discerning look, seeming relatively unperturbed.

"I…don't see the problem. I'm clean. It's not like… you know, I'd _been_ with anybody before you. And even when I was at the Club, they made us get tested like every 3 months. No surprise I came up clean back then too," Spencer said with a little shrug.

"Aren't you clean, too?" he asked as he stared at Derek.

Derek fumbled for words.

"Yes… of _course_ I am. But… Kid, it's not okay just to take someone else's _word_ for it," Derek said, starting to get frustrated. "You can't just take risks like that with your body."

"I trust you," Spencer said simply.

"You're supposed to be a genius and that's just fucking stupid," Derek said, although there was no bite to his tone.

"Knowing how… 'chivalrous' you are, I doubt you'd do it without a condom if you thought it could hurt me in anyway. _That's_ why I trust you, Derek," Spencer said flippantly.

"It's not like I _thought_ about it," Derek explained. "I just well… I'm ashamed to say it, but I got a little too caught up and just _forgot_. We can't forget next time."

"Why? We don't _have_ to use them. I'm fine like this…Besides… I liked being able to _feel_ you inside me," Spencer said as he lowered his lashes. "I'm sure you liked it, too."

He then glanced back up at Derek and absentmindedly licked his lips.

"I… _Shit_ …" Derek said, wanting to continue the conversation, but unable to deny how Spencer's words sent desire racing through his veins.

Spencer could only smile, seeing that Derek was at a loss for words.

"A condom would also help with the _mess_ ," Derek finally said, as an alternative, as he gestured pointedly down at Spencer's thighs.

Looking down, Spencer spread his legs a little bit to stare at the come sticking to his thighs, and Derek couldn't help but gulp at the display. Spencer could already feel it trickling out of him. He didn't necessarily mind it, and he had kind of liked being able to 'feel' Derek coming. It was like he could feel him pulsing inside of him. Looking back up at Derek, Spencer just shrugged and smiled shyly. Derek just shook his head in response.

"Come on… we need to get you cleaned up. Let's go take a shower," Derek said as he pushed himself to his feet.

"I'm _tired_ ," Spencer whined, as he flopped back down on the bed.

"Trust me… you're not gonna want to sleep like that," Derek said, as he walked into the bathroom.

Spencer laid on the bed and listened, eyes half-open, as Derek turned the shower on in the master bathroom. When Derek walked back into the room, Spencer felt himself blushing slightly as his eyes roved over Derek's naked form. He always felt himself becoming bashful once the post-orgasmic haze started to wear off.

"Come on," Derek said as he grabbed Spencer around the waist and lifted him, ignoring Spencer's whine of protest.

Spencer was embarrassed that Derek was actually carrying him to the bathroom, but he couldn't really complain. His limbs felt all loose and useless, and he was sure he wouldn't have had the energy to walk to the bathroom himself.

When they walked into the room, already steamy from the running shower, Spencer looked around in appreciation. Derek had one of those glass showers that looked like it could hold two people. And apparently that was exactly what it was going to be used for right now.

Placing Spencer down on his slightly wobbly feet, Derek instructed him to get in. Acquiescing, Spencer stepped in, letting the hot water cascade over him, as Derek followed him inside and shut the glass door. Then Derek told him to face the wall and lean against it, and Spencer gave him a confused look.

Derek seemed a bit embarrassed.

"It's gonna be uncomfortable for…um… my come to stay in you. We should get it out," Derek said as he held up his fingers.

Spencer's mouth opened in a surprised 'oh' and he felt his cheeks heat.

"You can't be serious…." Spencer said as he looked at Derek, but Derek just looked back at him.

He then made a signal with his hand telling Spencer to turn around and, begrudgingly, face aflame, Spencer did. Placing his hands against the wall, he turned and looked over his shoulder at Derek. Catching Derek's dark eyes, Spencer felt a small spark of heat go through his stomach, and tried to push it down.

Derek grabbed Spencer's hips, pulling them back and towards him a bit and causing Spencer to bend slightly. Derek then crouched down behind him and Spencer had to fight back a whimper of anticipation, hands fisted against the wall. Then he felt Derek's hands on his cheeks, spreading them apart. Blushing, Spencer closed his eyes, still not really believing this was happening. And then he gasped as he felt Derek's thick fingers sliding into him. They breached him so easily, aided by the slickness of Derek's come inside of him and the fact that he was still so stretched.

Spencer couldn't help it this time; he moaned.

"Kid," Derek said in a gruff voice, laced with lust. "This isn't supposed to be getting you off."

"Wh-what do you want from me?" Spencer whined, annoyed. "You can't do _that_ to me, and expect me to just stand still!"

Derek said nothing in response, as he pushed his fingers inside, spreading them slightly, and watched as more of his come dribbled out of the swollen pink hole. He tried to ignore the fact that the sight was causing his own cock to rapidly fill and harden. It didn't help that Spencer's continuous moans and whimpers were echoing off the walls of the shower, as he rocked his hips slightly. Derek couldn't take it.

"Pretty Boy," he breathed as he pulled his fingers out and sidled up behind Spencer, pressing himself against Spencer's back and letting him feel the effect he was having on him.

" _Yes_ , Derek," Spencer gasped as he thrust his ass back against him.

And then, without further ado, Derek was grasping Spencer's hips, pulling him back so that he was almost bent in half as his forearms supported him against the wall. Then he was sliding in.

Spencer squealed, shocked by the sudden feeling of fullness. But then he was pushing back, meeting Derek's firm thrusts. Derek's hand immediately shot down to grip Spencer's cock, which was already standing at attention, and he stroked him in time to the movement of his hips. His other hand squeezed Spencer's hip affectionately as the boy trembled beneath him.

Derek loved the sound of Spencer's whines as they bounced off the walls around him. The pounding sound of the water and the steam surrounding them making him feel like they were in their own little world. But Derek knew that neither one of them would last long. Spencer's cock was already rock-hard in his hand, and Derek couldn't fight the feeling of Spencer clenching and pulsing around him. Picking up his pace, he angled his hips, knowing already how to find the place that always reduced Spencer to a quivering mess. And as soon as he hit it, Spencer whined, bucking up into Derek's pumping fist, his walls clamping down around him. Three more hard thrusts and Spencer was crying out as he came, come splashing against the walls of the shower. Gritting his teeth, Derek continued to thrust until, soon, his climax was upon him, and with the last vestiges of his restraint, he pulled out, coming across Spencer's back.

Immediately, before either one of them could even catch their breaths, Derek spun Spencer around, pressing his back against the wall and devouring Spencer's lips. Spencer gasped and moaned, wrapping his arms around Derek's broad back, as the feeling of the older man's mouth made a mess of his already scrambled brain. And the only thing he could think was that the shower hadn't been such a bad idea.

* * *

They had stayed in the shower kissing and pretending to focus on getting clean, until the water started to get cool. Derek had had to drag a practically boneless Spencer out of the shower and, after struggling to dry him off, decided that they were going to have to just sleep in the nude. They had soon both tumbled into the bed, with Spencer on his side and Derek pressed up against his back. Spencer had fallen asleep almost immediately after Derek had slid his arms around his waist.

And as Derek started drifting off to sleep, fingers playing with the damp hairs sticking to Spencer's forehead, something pushed its way into his thoughts. Brows furrowing, he wondered idly if he should be concerned about the words he had heard Spencer utter earlier. Had Spencer really said he _loved_ him? He knew people often unwittingly said things they didn't necessarily mean in the throes of orgasm. He could only imagine that that was what had happened to Spencer as well. It was nothing to worry about. It was nothing _real_. How could it be? This was all so new.

Pulling the sleeping boy close, Derek convinced himself that there was no way Spencer could have meant that. Absolutely _no_ way _._

* * *

A/N: That's all she wrote, folks! As always, please let me know your thoughts on the chapter! :D Although I didn't go into much detail re: Spencer and Derek's 'day out' (let's call it what it _is_ : a **date** , lol), I actually had a lot of fun looking up 'things to do in D.C.' Now I want to visit D.C. in the winter D: haha. I also had fun writing the post-date shenanigans. These silly boys. Sexy boys, but silly nonetheless. I hope you enjoyed the sweetness (and gratuitous smuttiness ;3)! Because heavier things are coming in the next chapters.

Until then,

xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A/N: Hmm… what to say about this chapter? Well, first off, the events that happen in this chapter were part of the reason why I _wanted_ write the sequel in the first place. It contains more insight into Spencer's past that I just couldn't find a way to fit, organically, into the original. But, with that said, it's dark and probably disturbing. So, for those of you who need it, I will say that this chapter probably qualifies as one needing a ' **Trigger Warning**.' Thus, readers beware. However, it _starts_ out rather nicely with early-morning sex so… yeah… a weird chapter… But, I like it. And I hope you all will as well!

As always, thanks to everyone who took the time to leave me a comment on chapter 5! I love hearing from you, and I try to respond to everyone who leaves one. Thanks as well to my beta, A_WarriorZ_Haven for all her help with this story!

Strong 'feels' ahead, kiddies.

xoxo

* * *

Spencer awoke with a start, pulse racing and heart in his throat. Bleary-eyed and panicking, as he tried to get a bearing on his surroundings, Spencer realized he had been jolted from sleep by a nightmare. A version of a nightmare he had been having for months. It wasn't simply the fact that he had had a nightmare that caused him distress. He had _always_ been plagued by nightmares, from as early as he could remember.

The nightmares that had started when he was little were often of his parents arguing, followed by his dad storming out, telling Spencer that he didn't think they were good enough to stay. He would wake up from those angry—angry that the thought of his father could still cause him pain, even though he had been gone for almost ten years. Then, in his teens, a new horror had been thrown into the mix. These nightmares featured numerous faceless men who only wanted to hurt or trick him. He woke up from those trembling and ashamed, often unable to swallow, eyes wet and a whimper stuck in his throat. But, lately, the newest addition to his repertoire of nightmares gripped him with terror and had him jolting from his sleep, sweating, wide-eyed and breathless, scared for his life. These were the times Adrian Moore would visit him.

That had been what had just caused him to wake up in a fit of panic. This particular nightmare had been less… _violent_ than the rest, but had scared him more than the usual. In this dream, Moore wasn't torturing _him_. It wasn't to Spencer that he was whispering all the dark and depraved things he wanted to do. In this dream, _Derek_ was the one who was being hurt by Moore. And Moore promised to continue to hurt Derek until and unless Spencer submitted to him. Until Spencer came to him _willingly_ and begged Moore to take him away. Away from his new life at school. Away from his mother. Away from _Derek_. It had caused Spencer to feel like there was a vice around his heart, squeezing and squeezing until it almost felt like it would burst.

Waking up like that, Spencer had felt a deep sense of helplessness. It terrified him to think that he could ever be in that situation again—facing down a threat like Adrian Moore, and the anxiety he experienced every waking moment, worrying if he would be taken away if he let his guard down for just one second. He couldn't imagine ever willingly giving in to someone like Moore. But, in his dream, Moore had been threatening _Derek._ It wasn't lost on Spencer how scared he had been at the thought of Derek being in danger because of _him._ Of Derek being _hurt_ because of him. Spencer knew that, if faced with that ultimatum in reality, he would sacrifice himself for Derek. He knew this with certainty.

Whimpering, Spencer turned on to his side, melding his body to the larger, warmer one lying next to him. Heart still pounding at a rapid-pace, Spencer tried to will himself to calm down as he reverently looked at Derek's peaceful, sleeping face. Spencer didn't know what time it was, but judging by the fact that the room was still quite dark, only a few gray streaks of light peeking around the edges of the curtains, he could only guess it was still in the early hours of the morning. But what little light was cast into the room was enough by which Spencer could appreciate the features of Derek's face.

He was somewhat envious that Derek seemed so calm, while at the same time thankful that he hadn't disturbed the older man's sleep. It was nice that _someone_ could find solace in their dreams. Spencer wanted that kind of comfort. And, although he was hesitant to take the liberty to do it, Spencer knew he wanted to _touch_ Derek. He wanted to feel his closeness and his warmth. He inherently knew that it would make him feel safe. Being in Derek's presence had kept the reminder of Adrian Moore at bay for _days_. He hadn't experienced anything like that in the six months since Moore's death.

Letting his eyes rove over Derek's handsome features, Spencer tentatively raised his hands to Derek's face. The tips of his fingers traced Derek's brows, then lightly moved to his nose, cheeks and lips. He watched with fascination as Derek's lips twitched, and the man let out a soft sound, but he didn't seem bothered by Spencer's ministrations. Smiling softy to himself, Spencer allowed his hands to continue their path, trailing gently down Derek's chin and neck and caressing his collarbones. Derek let out another sound, this time definitely sounding pleased, and shifted a bit, rolling on to his back.

Spencer followed, his hands moving over Derek's powerful arms, lingering slightly, as he always did, on Derek's tattooed skin. Spencer smiled fondly as he felt the heat Derek gave off thrumming underneath his fingertips. Leaning over, he pressed his cheek against the hard planes of Derek's chest, allowing himself to listen to the strong heartbeat within. Sighing contentedly as he felt himself finally calming down, Spencer had to admit that it was nice to be able to be close to someone like this. Instead of having to be on guard or feeling like he needed to be suspicious of another person's motivations.

In the little time he had spent with Derek, Spencer had learned so many things about himself. He had learned how to let go and enjoy another's presence. How to allow himself to be vulnerable. While these feelings were unfamiliar, and at times nerve-wracking, Spencer also felt unbridled. Almost like he had suddenly learned how to _breathe_ for the first time. And Derek had made him _physically_ feel so many new things, too, Spencer thought to himself with a blush. It was like his body had changed. As if some kind of _switch_ had been flicked.

Sex was… confusing to Spencer; he had only ever known that it was supposed to be used to _get_ things. He had pursued Derek relentlessly, with one goal on his mind. Although he didn't exactly know what he was doing, Spencer knew that his one bargaining chip was to make Derek _want_ him. He knew Derek was attracted to him, and he believed that after getting Derek to admit that he wanted his body, maybe he could convince Derek to want his company and his affection, as well. To want _more_ of Spencer.

And although Spencer had decided that he wanted to capitalize on Derek's attraction to him, it had never really crossed his mind to wonder about whether he would actually 'like' it or not once they actually had sex. All things relating to sex had always been unpleasant to him, so he figured it didn't matter if he enjoyed it or not—he figured he never _would_. All he knew was that Derek would never intentionally hurt him. He was certain of that. And that was enough for him; he had no other expectations.

So Spencer was almost flabbergasted by how much he had actually _liked_ it. How he had begun to crave Derek's touch, and anticipate the moment when the older man's eyes would land on him. Whenever Derek looked at him, or casually put his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close, or even when the words 'Pretty Boy' easily slipped from his lips, it sent a jolt of desire down Spencer's spine. Spencer didn't know if he should be ashamed of this, or embarrassed. But, what he felt for Derek was unlike anything he had ever felt for anyone else. He had never _wanted_ anyone, or anything, like he wanted Derek Morgan.

Biting his lip, as the thoughts began to cause his body to heat up, Spencer couldn't help but rub his thighs together to try to staunch the desires he already knew were coming to life inside of him. Sitting up, he glanced at Derek's sleeping face, checking to see if the older man would wake up. Derek still appeared to be deeply asleep. But, that didn't change the fact that Spencer was starting to feel… well, rather _horny._ He wanted to feel Derek's body against his. _More than just feeling his skin_ , Spencer thought, as he let the palm that was still resting on Derek's chest flex against the smooth canvass, _I want to feel all of him_.

Hesitating for a second, and feeling bashful for wanting to do it in the first place, Spencer threw caution to the wind and allowed his hand to trail from its position on Derek's chest down the hard planes of his stomach, inching under the sheet covering the older man's waist, until his fingers met with the base of Derek's cock. Looking up quickly, to check to see if Derek had been roused by his movements, Spencer let out a small breath, relieved to see that the man still seemed blissfully unaware of what was happening to him.

Lips curving up in a small smile, as he felt slightly emboldened by Derek's peaceful face, Spencer closed his fingers around the thick appendage and slowly began to stroke from base to tip and back again. It only took a few moments before Derek's body started to respond, and Spencer could feel him hardening in his hand. Glancing up at Derek's face, Spencer was fascinated to see the man's brows furrowing and jaw clenching. And then, as Spencer's fisted hand stroked across the tip, grip a bit tighter this time, Derek let out a low, soft moan, that caused liquid heat to pool in Spencer's stomach.

Spencer gasped, hearing Derek's breathy moan. He was shocked by how much it turned him on. He felt so… in control. He continued to look on, captivated by the expressions flitting over Derek's face, as he sped up his stroking, feeling Derek grow and grow in his hand. His eyes glanced away from Derek's face for a moment, as he watched his hand moving beneath the sheet and blushed at the obvious outline of Derek's now engorged cock. For some reason, Spencer thought it would make what he was doing somehow _more_ deviant if he actually _looked_ at Derek's naked flesh while the other man was sleeping, so he had contented himself with touch alone. But, now he suddenly felt particularly curious (maybe even a bit mischievous), and found himself seriously considering pulling the sheet back, so he could get a better look at what he was doing.

But Derek could remain oblivious for only so long, as Spencer continued to stroke his stiffening cock. And when Spencer glanced back up again, to check to see if Derek was still sleeping before he uncovered him, he was met with sleepy, yet smoldering, dark eyes.

"Well, good morning to you, too, Pretty Boy," Derek said, voice gravelly with sleep, but playful nonetheless.

Spencer couldn't help but tense, knowing he had been caught, feeling his face heat up. But, he only tentatively licked his lips as he stilled in his movements.

"Morning, Derek," he whispered, as he looked shyly into Derek's eyes, hoping his cheeks weren't quite as red as they _felt_ at that moment.

Spencer had to hold back a sound of surprise as he felt Derek's cock literally twitch in his hand once the words had slipped out past his lips. Grinning to himself, Spencer resumed his strokes, this time almost tortuously slow, as he looked up at Derek from beneath his lashes.

"To what do I owe this… pleasant surprise," Derek said on a pleased sigh, as he folded his arms behind his head and leaned back, looking down at the movement of Spencer's hand beneath the sheet.

"I… was in the mood?" was all Spencer could say, with one eyebrow arched playfully and a small smile on his face.

"Kid, it's very nice to hear that, but don't start writing checks you won't be able to cash," Derek said with a lazy grin as he playfully thrusted up into Spencer's touch.

Spencer only smiled back at him, grip tightening teasingly as he maintained his slow pace under the sheet. And as Spencer's hand stroked upward, he let his thumb run across the sensitive head of Derek's cock, smearing the precum he could feel already beading there. Derek's breath hitched as he closed his eyes and let out a low moan as Spencer teased him.

"What makes you think I won't be able to cash it?" Spencer asked, voice dropping into a sultry tone.

Derek opened one eye to look at Spencer, mind torn between giving into the boy's tantalizing touches and talking some sense into him.

"Kid… you gotta think about your body," Derek groaned out, as he closed his eyes and tried to calm his own body down. "We've practically been fucking like rabbits. And I'm not complaining or anything, but aren't you tired… and sore?"

Spencer blushed and sighed softly as he looked up at Derek. He could see—and quite honestly _feel_ , if the hard thickness gripped in his hand was any indication—that Derek wanted him, even if Derek looked like he was making a valiant effort to fight it.

"Yeah, I _am_ sore, but I also… kind of like it," he admitted bashfully. "I like being reminded about the feeling of you inside me. I can feel it all day."

Both Derek's eyes snapped open and Spencer paused, taken aback by the heated look Derek was pinning him with.

"I'll do all the work," Spencer said, after a moment, hoping to convince Derek.

But it didn't seem that Derek needed all that much convincing, judging by the hooded gaze he had fixed on Spencer. Nodding, Derek reached out with his right hand, and felt around on the bedside table. When his hand closed around the bottle of lube, Spencer's stomach clenched in anticipation. He watched as Derek handed the bottle to him and he looked up at him, somewhat confused.

"You did say you'd do all the work," Derek said with a smirk, voice sultry and low, as he whipped the sheet back.

Spencer's blush darkened, but he said nothing as he took the bottle from Derek's hand. Releasing Derek's cock, Spencer placed his hand on Derek's chest and swung his leg over Derek's hip. He lifted himself and then settled down, sitting on Derek's thighs, with his knees on either side of them. Derek watched on with a mixture of amusement and rising lust, as Spencer pushed himself up to a kneeling position and fumbled with the bottle of lube. Finally succeeding in squeezing a thick dollop on to two of his fingers, Spencer tossed the bottle back on to the bed.

Pointedly avoiding Derek's eyes, Spencer shifted himself a bit more, so that he was leaning forward on Derek's chest, and his back was slightly arched. Stretching behind himself with his right hand and using the hand on Derek's chest for leverage, Spencer began to tentatively prod at his sensitive hole with his slickened digits. Derek's eyes immediately dropped down to the sight between Spencer's legs, as he watched the movement of Spencer's long, slender fingers.

"You're going to just _watch_ me?" Spencer asked as he looked up with a pouty glare, stilling his fingers.

"Baby, you don't know how badly I wanna watch you do that," Derek said in a low purr as he placed his large hands on either side of Spencer's hips and squeezed.

Spencer felt his heart leap in his chest and his whole body heated up, like it had been ignited. He couldn't even hide the fact that his own cock was now hard and bobbing against his stomach, even though he found all this to be so embarrassing. Everything was on display for Derek's eyes. Spencer felt a surge of bashfulness, wondering if he should just abandon this bold new endeavor, but he forced it down. He had talked Derek into this and he was going to go through with it.

Glancing away from Derek, Spencer allowed his eyes to slip closed and concentrated on the feeling of his fingers against his hole and Derek's large warm hands on his hips. Relaxing himself, Spencer slowly pushed against his entrance, feeling his muscle resisting, but soon, with a little more pressure, his first finger slipped in. A soft whimper escaped his lips as he felt it breaching him. Spencer could feel Derek squeezing his hips encouragingly. Then, with mouth slightly parted in a gasp, Spencer pushed deeper, shuddering with pleasure as he felt the drag and pull of his skin stretching around his finger. He began to thrust his finger faster and deeper, trying to smother his moans as he began to feel his desire building.

"Looks like you're liking that, Pretty Boy," Derek whispered to him.

Faltering as he was drawn out of his trance-like state, Spencer opened his eyes to look down at Derek who was practically grinning up at him, with a smoldering look in his eyes. Spencer could barely suppress the moan that threatened to slip past his lips. Closing his eyes to block out the sight, he realized that looking at Derek was almost enough, in itself, to get him off.

Concentrating, Spencer slipped another finger into his tight hole and there was no controlling his moan this time. Loving the feeling of being filled, he quickly worked himself back up to the same fast pace, as his fingers sunk in and out of his heat. Derek watched, with rapt attention, as Spencer writhed above him, eyes closed and lips parted, practically bouncing on his own fingers. Derek felt his mouth going dry, and his cock aching painfully with its need to be buried inside of Spencer, instead of the boy's fingers.

"Don't force yourself to go too fast," Derek warned, voice slightly breathy as he continued to watch Spencer's fingers disappear inside of himself. "Gotta make sure you're stretched out good enough to take my cock."

Spencer snapped his head up to look at Derek, seeming a bit scandalized at Derek's words. And Derek only grinned back at him.

"I-I think I'm good," Spencer moaned out, as he slowly pulled his slickened fingers out. "I just want you inside me."

"Wait a second," Derek said as he shifted one hand off of Spencer's hip, the other holding the boy in place.

Before Spencer could react, he felt two of Derek's thick fingers pushing inside of him. He gasped breathily, and couldn't help pushing back on Derek's fingers. Derek's fingers just felt so different from his own. Thick and rough; they were so much _better_. As Derek spread his fingers inside of him, Spencer let out a strangled moan and fell forward, elbows resting on Derek's chest. He tucked his face into the side of Derek's neck, as if he wanted to hide the sounds of his moans, but the muffled sounds still reached Derek's ear. As Spencer panted against his neck, Derek let out an appreciative sound of encouragement, and thrusted his fingers inside of him a few more times, alternating between spreading his fingers and pushing in deep. With every slide of his fingers, Spencer gasped and moaned against him. Derek could feel Spencer's cock sliding wetly against his stomach and knew the boy was already teetering on the edge.

"Ok, ok, it's your show now," Derek said as he slowly pulled his fingers out and patted Spencer's plump bottom.

He could see Spencer was already trembling on top of him, hairline sweaty and face flushed. Taking the opportunity to steal a kiss, Derek grabbed the back of Spencer's neck and kissed him roughly. Spencer moaned against his mouth and Derek felt his cock throb. He quickly grabbed the bottle of lube, squeezing some out, and reached behind Spencer to roughly slick his own cock.

"Come on Pretty Boy, show me what you got," he said against Spencer's lips.

Moaning, Spencer hurried to push himself back up to a kneeling position. Poised like this, above Derek, panting and flushed, Spencer looked wanton and needy. As if he could no longer be bothered with trying to mask his pleasure. Derek watched hungrily as Spencer ran both hands up his own chest, and then through his sweaty hair, pushing the dark tendrils off his face, body stretching and elongating beautifully as he did. When he reached behind himself and grabbed on to the base of Derek's straining cock, Derek couldn't help but tense with sweet anticipation. Then Spencer placed his other hand on Derek's chest, as if to steady himself. Biting his lip, Spencer raised himself so that he was poised above Derek's cock, and let himself settle down a bit until the wide head was pressing against his throbbing opening. Hands still poised on Spencer's hips, Derek couldn't help but focus in on the sight of his thick cock sliding in between Spencer's milky white cheeks.

As Spencer pushed himself down, he hissed and winced when the head slipped inside of him. Derek groaned as he felt Spencer's tight heat envelope him. It was almost suffocating. But in a glorious way. His hands tightened on Spencer's hips as he felt the boy push himself down, inch by painstakingly slow inch, but he willed himself not to move. Spencer was calling the shots and Derek was going to let him be in charge. Sure, he might go insane from need in the meantime, but Derek was a patient man. He knew that the pay off, in the long run, would be worth it.

Already, Derek's mouth had gone dry as he intently watched Spencer's movements above him. One hand braced on Derek's chest, the other hand still gripping the base of Derek's cock as he continued to lower himself, getting accustomed to it. Slowly, slowly, Spencer moved down, sometimes pulling up if it felt too deep, and trying again, until he liked the way it felt. All the while, Derek's hands maintained a tight grip on the pale flesh of Spencer's hips, as if it was a lifeline for him. It very might well have been the only thing keeping Derek in control.

Gasping and moaning quietly, Spencer released his hold on Derek's cock, bringing his other hand to rest on Derek's chest. Then, he pushed himself further down, taking the last few inches, hands twitching on Derek's chest, as if he wanted to grip on to him for dear life. And when Spencer finally let out a sigh of relief, his thighs lightly resting on top of Derek's, Derek threw his head back, moaning loudly. He could feel that he was reaching so deep inside of Spencer, so much more than before, and Spencer's tight, clenching heat felt amazing. All he wanted to do was bury himself inside of him forever, never coming up for air.

Feeling as if he would go crazy if Spencer didn't do something soon, Derek opened his eyes and looked up at Spencer's face. The younger man's eyes were still closed tight, eyebrows slightly furrowed and lips parted in a small 'o.'

"You good?" Derek asked breathlessly, as he stroked Spencer's left hip.

"Mm hmm," Spencer moaned out as his fingernails raked across Derek's chest, sending delicious jolts of electricity through Derek's body. "J-just give me a minute."

"Whatever you want, baby," Derek said, as he continued to stroke his hips hoping to relax him.

It was almost agony for him to be sheathed within that tight heat and unable to move, but being able to look up at Spencer—poised in his lap, stuffed full of his cock, lips parted, and eyes closed, the boy's own cock hard and full resting against his stomach—was more than enough of a turn-on to distract him.

After a few moments, Spencer opened his eyes, and Derek had to bite his lip as he saw the boy's eyes had darkened in hue. Smiling shyly, Spencer tentatively began to move, splaying his hands against Derek's chest and pushing down against him, effectively holding the older man in place, as he raised his hips up. As soon as he did, Spencer gasped and trembled. He rose up until just the head was still lodged within him, and then pushed his hips down, taking all of Derek in one long, slow thrust. A loud moan was ripped from Spencer's lips, echoed by Derek. Spencer's eyes were wide, lips glistening and plump, as he tried a few more tentative thrusts. Once, after taking Derek in all the way to the hilt, Spencer tried swiveling his hips and looked on with surprise as Derek let out a loud groan. Looking awfully pleased with himself, Spencer began to set a pace as he slowly rode Derek, gently bouncing in his lap, fingers running greedily over Derek's chest and nipples.

The boy was moving tortuously slow atop him, and all Derek wanted to do was grab his hips, and thrust into him with all his might. But, watching Spencer, back arched, cheeks flushed, and chest glistening with sweat, he could tell that he was enjoying himself. And that, to Derek, was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen. Instead of taking control, he let his hands rest lightly on Spencer's soft hips, massaging gently, and encouraging him with moans of his own. And Derek watched on, pleasure mounting, as Spencer's hips began to move faster, breathier gasps falling from his swollen lips. Then, Spencer leaned forward a bit on one of his thrusts and let out a loud cry, eyes flying open. Derek almost hissed at the feel of Spencer's fingernails digging into his chest, and the sudden tightening he felt around his cock, but could only smile as he saw the look of sheer bliss on Spencer's face. He had found his prostate. Derek squeezed Spencer's hips again, and Spencer could only raise himself angling to hit that spot again.

"Nnn," Spencer whined as he fisted his hands on Derek's chest, as if he was searching for leverage.

Spencer began to moan out a litany of words, almost like a mantra, as he swiveled his hips on top of Derek, pressing that spot within himself over and over again.

"S-so good. _Fuck_. Yes, yes… Mmm, Derek… Fucking amazing! I love it... Love you…love you," Spencer panted breathlessly, movements getting faster. "So good. I'm so close. Please… ungh… please, Derek, _please_ …"

Derek couldn't help but stiffen when he heard the words slipping from Spencer's mouth. _Love,_ he thought. _Again?_ But Spencer's breathy pleas continued to tumble from his mouth, and Derek could hear that the boy was asking for something he wasn't achieving himself. His concern over Spencer's initial words was quickly pushed out of his mind, however, as a smile bloomed on Derek's face. He knew he could give Spencer what he was asking for. Tightening his grip on Spencer's hips, Derek thrust up, causing Spencer to let out a surprised gasp as he grappled to find a hold on Derek's shoulders. Keeping to the angle Spencer had found, Derek gave another thrust, this time harder, and Spencer let out a long moan, nails digging into Derek's flesh.

"There?" Derek asked as he held on to Spencer, one arm wrapped around his lower back, the other tight around his shoulders.

"Y-yes, yes! Oh God!" Spencer gasped.

Hearing that, Derek held Spencer in that position, thrusting hard against him, and Spencer found himself letting out embarrassing, high pitched wails as Derek proceeded to pound against his prostate. The force of the thrusts had Spencer's cock rubbing and sliding wetly against the hard planes of Derek's stomach, sending jolts of pleasure through him. The onslaught of sensation was so overwhelming he was almost crying from it. And then with three more hard thrusts, Spencer was screaming his orgasm, sending white spurts of come all over Derek's stomach.

Spencer collapsed against Derek's chest and held on weakly as he felt Derek's hips continue to move, setting a rapid, erratic pace as he sought out his own release. Spencer whimpered as more sensations flooded his over-sensitized body. But soon, Derek was stiffening beneath him, muscular arms squeezing him tight, as he came. Spencer moaned when he felt Derek's cock pulsing inside of him, knowing that Derek was filling him with his come.

Sweaty and breathing hard, skin sticking to skin, Derek fell back against the bed, taking Spencer with him, holding him close. He stroked Spencer's back as they both tried to regain their breaths. After a few moments, Derek rolled them on to their sides and eased his softening cock out of Spencer's tight heat. Spencer moaned softly against his ear, already feeling the sticky come between his thighs, and not minding it one bit. Eyes closed, he stuck close to Derek, arms still wrapped around him, as he basked in the aftershocks of his orgasm, content to just lay there with Derek holding him. But then he felt Derek start to twist a bit, albeit it in a way that was aimed at disturbing Spencer in the least, as his hand reached out and began moving noisily on the bedside table in the darkened room, and Spencer muttered a sound of protest. He heard Derek pick something up and then place it back down again.

"Damn kid," Derek whispered against his ear, breathing hard. "It's not even 6 am. I don't know what got in to you to have you so frisky before dawn, but what d'you say we go back to sleep, and when it's time to get up for real I make you breakfast in bed, huh?"

Exhausted, Spencer could only contentedly nod his agreement as he tucked his face into the crook of Derek's neck. Derek could do nothing more than chuckle as he ran his hand through Spencer's messy locks and placed an appreciative kiss against his temple.

As Derek began to drift off, Spencer remained pressed close to Derek's chest. This time he didn't roll away, as he often did when he opted to sleep on his side with his back facing Derek. He liked the idea of sleeping with his head next to Derek's heart like this, the deep sound within a welcome, soothing rhythm. All thoughts of his nightmare gone, Spencer quickly fell asleep, feeling quite sated and at peace.

* * *

A few hours later, Derek was stirred from sleep by the feeling of soft caresses on his face. He was stuck on the precipice between sleep and consciousness, but he immediately knew the light touches were coming from Spencer and he was content to let the boy study him. Derek sighed lightly, not opening his eyes, as he basked in the feeling of Spencer's soft, almost reverential, caresses. He could feel Spencer curled up against his chest, bony elbows and knobby knees pressing into his skin, the warmth from the smaller body a notably pleasant feeling to wake up to.

"The curves of your lips rewrite history," Spencer murmured softly.

Derek furrowed his brows and cracked his eyes open slightly. The light spilling in to the room was now bright enough for everything to be seen clearly. He looked down to Spencer's face, noticing that the boy wasn't even looking at him. His eyes were cast downward, obscured by his lashes. But Derek could tell where the boy was looking. He was staring intently at his lips.

"What'd you say?" Derek mumbled, chuckling softly as Spencer jerked back his fingers in surprise, as if he had been caught doing something wrong.

"Huh?" Spencer asked, looking up and meeting Derek's eyes.

"You just said something about my lips?" Derek asked groggily.

"Oh," Spencer said as he blushed. Apparently he hadn't known he was talking out loud.

"It's...just something I remember reading," he admitted, after a pause.

"What was it? It sounded kind of nice," Derek said with a sleepy smile as he took a hold of Spencer's fingers, kissing them softly.

Spencer flushed again.

"I-I said 'the curves of your lips rewrite history,'" Spencer repeated bashfully. "It's by Oscar Wilde… a line from _The Picture of Dorian Gray_."

"Oh." Derek said, as he thought over the words.

"You think my lips rewrite history?" he asked with a confused smile, brows furrowed.

Spencer ducked his head into the curve of Derek's shoulder as if too embarrassed to look at him.

"I don't know… kind of? It's like since I've been with you, nothing in my past seems to be that bad anymore," Spencer admitted, voice slightly muffled by Derek's warm skin.

Eyebrows raising slightly, Derek quietly considered the boy's words as he lazily stroked up and down his bare back.

"I think I kind of like that," he said finally.

Spencer blushed, but he was happy that Derek hadn't seemed bothered by his frank confession, so he said nothing.

They both settled into a comfortable silence as Derek continued to stroke his hands up and down the warm expanse of Spencer's exposed skin, from his neck to his shoulders and back, and down each of his arms, then up again. Spencer began to melt against him, lulled into an almost dreamlike state by the feeling of the older man's large hands roaming over his skin. Shifting slightly, he threw a leg over Derek's thigh and one arm over his waist. His other arm shifted so that it was lying above both of their heads. Eyes closed, Spencer could only hear Derek's deep, soft chuckle in response to his attempt to get closer to the older man. But Spencer was too happy to care.

He had woken up about ten minutes ago to a room flooded with warm sunlight, telling him that it was around mid-morning. He had been pleased that he had had no further nightmares. And he knew that part of the reason for that was that he felt safe and comfortable sleeping in Derek's protective embrace. He couldn't ask for very much more. Sighing contentedly, as Derek began stroking the arm he had haphazardly draped above their heads, Spencer lazily rested his head against Derek's chest, quite ready to settle back into sleep.

Smiling to himself, pleased with how relaxed Spencer seemed, and liking how he was responding so openly to the petting, Derek's hands continued to lazily run up and down the soft, pale skin of Spencer's arm. Derek couldn't help letting his eyes rove over Spencer, appreciating the look of the boy's relaxed brow, thick lashes and plump and slightly parted lips. _Even his skin is beautiful_ , he thought to himself as he raised his eyes to the milky-white flesh of Spencer's long arm. He began to drag his fingers more slowly, moving from Spencer's wrist up the length of his forearm, smiling to himself as Spencer shivered against him, and dipped his fingers into the soft flesh at the crook of his elbow. But then his eyes zeroed in on something on the skin there and his fingers tightened their grip.

Feeling Derek tense against him, Spencer's eyes shot open and he immediately froze when he realized where Derek was touching. His heart begin to thud rapidly in his chest and he tried to pull his arm away, but Derek's grip remained tight.

"What are these?" Derek asked as he looked at the faint, barely noticeable marks on the boy's pale skin.

Spencer tried to tug his arm away again, face still turned away and pressed against Derek's chest, as he muttered, "What are what?"

Derek frowned as he stared harder at the little scars. As he squinted, he realized they looked like old track marks. He probably would've missed them if he hadn't been paying such close attention to Spencer's skin, and if the boy weren't so pale.

Derek sighed as he released Spencer's arm, noticing that the younger man had grown silent and rigid against him.

"You gonna tell me what that's about?" Derek asked as he pulled away from Spencer, refusing to let the boy hide.

"I don't want to talk about it Derek," Spencer muttered, as he wrapped his arms around himself, apparently feeling the loss of Derek's heat.

"I think we have to," Derek said softly.

But, instead of answering, Spencer rolled on to his other side, facing away from Derek.

Derek watched quietly, staring at the bony ridge of Spencer's spine

"Spencer… I'm not mad or anything, and I'm not going to judge you. I just want to understand this part of your life," Derek explained.

"I… I don't do it anymore," Spencer said after a while, still facing away from him.

"What's 'it,' kid?" Derek asked, needing Spencer to voice it himself.

"You know...um…'shoot up,'" Spencer said softly.

Derek sighed as he shifted closer to Spencer, grabbing him around the waist and pulling him so he was pressing back against him. Derek turned Spencer until the boy's eyes met his.

"And what were you shooting up?" he asked, looking at him with supportive, dark brown eyes.

Spencer blinked rapidly, and Derek wondered if he would start crying, but instead, Spencer's brows lowered and he seemed to steel himself.

"I… It was dilaudid," he whispered.

Derek's brows furrowed in confusion.

" _Dilaudid_?" he asked in surprise. "That's… not exactly one of the popular street drugs, kid. How'd you get involved with that?"

Spencer averted his eyes, shoulders hunching up a bit, and Derek could tell that Spencer was receding into himself, as if he already believed Derek would be upset with him.

"S-someone gave it to me," Spencer whispered out. "It was…against my will."

Derek's eyes widened in shock, and his grip on Spencer's shoulders tightened.

"Spencer…" he breathed out in disbelief.

Spencer shifted uncomfortably, turning so that his back was facing Derek again and his head was bowed down. But Derek was having none of that and pushed himself up to a sitting position.

"What do you mean against your will?" Derek asked, seriously. "You're telling me someone _forcibly_ injected you?"

Derek could see Spencer flinch at his hard tone, his shoulders and back going rigid, and he had to force himself to calm down. Reaching out, Derek forced Spencer to turn back over, and when Spencer finally gave in, allowing Derek to turn him on to his back, Derek could see that his eyes were closed tightly and his lips were drawn into a tight frown, as if he was trying to block everything out.

"Hey, come here," Derek said as he slid closer, scooping Spencer up into his arms and pulling him into his chest. He was relieved when he felt Spencer's thin arms slide around his waist as the boy embraced him, relaxing slightly against him.

"Tell me… tell me what happened," Derek said, as softly and carefully as he could.

Spencer didn't move for a few moments, and Derek wasn't sure he would be able to coax him into confiding in him, but then he felt Spencer's arms tighten around his waist as Spencer nodded against his shoulder. Sticking close to Derek—maybe because he needed the support, or maybe it was because he couldn't bring himself to look into the older man's eyes while he admitted to these shameful parts of himself—Spencer began to recount the painful memories.

"A-about four years ago… well, I… Um… I wasn't yet working at the Club… or, you know, really doing anything like that full-time. I had… just let some people take some pictures of me, here and there, for extra money. But, it really was never enough. Someone told me that if I… let some people make a…a 'video' of me I could make a lot of money," Spencer said softly.

Derek couldn't help the way his body tensed and his hands tightened their grip on Spencer's shoulders as his mind started to flood with a number of horrifying ways the scenario Spencer was describing could turn out. But, even though Spencer could tell that Derek was distressed by what he was saying, he seemed committed to getting his story out and forced himself to continue.

"I… I was naïve back then, sure, but I wasn't _stupid_. I wasn't going to… you know, let anyone pay to have sex with me. And especially not to tape it," Spencer said with a slight edge to his voice. "Th-they told me it would be a solo video. Um… that I wouldn't have to _do_ anything with anyone. I would just have to let them do things _to_ me. And then they'd pay me $2500."

Derek remained quiet and Spencer took a deep breath.

"I only accepted it because they told me it really wasn't going to be about _sex_ at all. Um… the guy who was in charge of setting the deal up told me that it was a 'fetish' video and that… uh… that people would get off on just watching what was happening to me. He said I didn't even have to get naked. I thought that sounded pretty great. And I _really_ needed that money. All I could think about was how much that would help; all the things I could do for me and my mom. How things would be easy for once, if only for a little while… But, I should've probably known it was too good to be true," Spencer said, voice getting softer, more vulnerable-sounding.

"Well… apparently the 'fetish' that they wanted me to film for was _torture_ ," Spencer said, forcing a sardonic laugh from his lips.

Derek chose not to say anything, knowing Spencer was trying to barrel his way through the story as fast as he could, but Derek didn't find _anything_ about what Spencer was saying to be 'funny' in the slightest. So he just continued to stare down at the top of Spencer's curly head, and squeezed his shoulders softly, in a show of support.

"I... I mean, at first it kind of freaked me out, and I really considered saying no. But, the guy—his name was Mike—he told me that they'd just be _hitting_ me. Nothing really crazy, like… I dunno, I guess whips and chains, and stuff like that? He told me that… because I was 'young,' and I _looked_ even younger, that… that, you know, for some people _that_ was enough to make it 'good' for them. That it was part of some fantasy. And… well, I was no stranger to getting bullied at school so I was accustomed to taking hits. S-so… I thought it would be ok," Spencer said, and at that moment his breath hitched.

Derek could hear Spencer take in a watery-sounding breath, and he had had enough. He had to see Spencer's face. Moving slightly so that he was far enough away to look at Spencer, but not far enough to have to remove his arms from around the boy, Derek forced Spencer to look up at him. When Spencer finally raised his head, it was obvious to Derek that he was fighting to hold back his tears.

"It's ok, kid," Derek said softly.

Spencer looked up at him with shimmering eyes, a mixture of pain and frustration on his face.

"It's...What happened isn't even the _worst_ part, Derek. It's more that I just feel so _stupid_. Like, how could I just walk into something like that? _Again_?" Spencer asked, in a strained voice.

Derek frowned as he processed those words.

"Don't say that, Spencer. This has nothing to do with being 'stupid.' If someone did something to you that… that you didn't want, or if something happened that you didn't expect to happen, none of that is _your_ fault. Ok? _None_ of it," Derek said, voice full of conviction.

Spencer just dropped his eyes and shook his head. He let out a soft sigh, and Derek could tell that Spencer didn't believe a word he had said.

"I… when I got to the filming site I had a definite bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. It looked like an abandoned building. I was afraid, but I thought it was just me being overly-cautious. Of course I always knew you can't really trust these types of people. B-but I talked to a few other… I guess 'performers' that had worked on Mike's videos before and they told me everything was pretty much legit. Just that… you know… some of the stuff was kinky. But, when I told them I wouldn't even have to take my clothes off, they told me I had nothing to worry about. So, when I walked into that building and saw these two guys who I had never met before, well… I just thought that was par for the course," Spencer continued, his voice small and detached.

"They introduced themselves to me. They were big guys who told me their names were 'Ivan' and 'Viktor.' I couldn't tell if it was just for the sake of the video or not. To be honest, I didn't really care. They were friendly enough. They made jokes about me being too young for this kind of work. But they didn't really seem to have any trouble getting started," Spencer said, the hard edge returning to his voice.

"When we had stopped with all the small talk they told me that the video would require me to get strapped down to a chair as they hit me and… well, insulted me. It sounded scary. I mean, they had really big muscles. Bigger than yours. And, well, they weren't the type of guys I was used to getting bullied by. They told me they had to hit me for real, but that they'd go easy on me. They just needed to make it look good for the camera. S-so I said yes. And I sat in the chair; I _let_ them tie me down with leather straps. There were three straps across my upper body, pinning my arms to my sides and my back to the chair. Then there were two straps across my thighs and one across my shins. I literally couldn't move… And that's when the _real_ horror started," Spencer whispered.

Already, Derek had felt like he had heard too much. He didn't want to have the image in his mind of Spencer, probably no more than 16 years old, pinned to a chair while two intimidating muscle-bound thugs beat on him to fulfill the sick fantasies of whatever asshole was willing to pay for something like that. But, Derek also knew he _had_ to listen. He inherently knew that Spencer had never told this to another living soul. The Spencer he had met six months ago had learned not to rely on _anyone_. So the fact that he was being brave enough to divulge this now meant that Spencer had come very far. Derek was proud of him. He would let him finish, because it was what Spencer _needed_.

A few minutes passed as it seemed Spencer was trying to calm his breathing. Or maybe he was reliving the events in his own mind. In any case, Derek felt Spencer's body lose a bit of its tension and he allowed Spencer to slide close to him again. Spencer tucked his face against Derek's chest, seeming to feel safest there, and let the words continue spilling from his mouth.

"The first couple of hits were easy, like they had promised. They slapped me or shoved me, called me names. They made me say that I 'liked' it. I didn't really like having to do that, but it was easy to pretend and just let the words out. Then… then things escalated. They yanked on my hair and started screaming in my face. I got really scared; they looked like…like completely different people from the guys I had first met," Spencer said, voice flat.

"And then when the first punch came, it caught me by surprise. It was straight to my gut and really knocked the air out of me. I remember gasping and gasping, and the sharp pain. Then, next thing I knew, I was being punched in the face. The punches to the face weren't as strong as the ones to my stomach or chest—I think they were afraid to break anything—but it was still… still way too much to handle. I… I started crying, asking them to stop. But, I don't know if they thought I was doing it for show… you know, like for the camera, or if… if they really didn't care that they were hurting me. But they kept on going," Spencer confessed.

"After about ten more minutes of their abuse, I was bleeding and screaming for them to stop. And when they suddenly did, I thought… I thought ' _Ok_ , _finally, it's done_.' But… it _wasn't_ done. One of them leaned over me and ripped my shirt straight down the middle. I remember all the buttons flying off and I was too shocked—maybe too disoriented from the pain—to even say a word. Then I felt the other one start tearing at my sleeves. They couldn't get it completely off because of the straps, but… they didn't need to I guess. When I finally was able to ask them what they were doing, I saw one of them walking over to me with a… a _syringe_. He told me it would help to take the edge off… Help me get through the _rest_ of it," Spencer said, words starting to sound heavy with emotion.

"I told him I didn't want it. I didn't know _what_ was in the needle, but I really, really didn't want it," Spencer said in a teary voice. "But… I couldn't _move_ , Derek. I fought and I screamed and told them not to, but they did it anyway. One held my arm down; the other pushed the needle in. They told me I would _thank_ them for this later. And when he finally injected me, all I remember is feeling this sense of fuzziness. Like I was half asleep, walking in a dream."

Derek could only hold Spencer tight as he felt the wetness that was springing from Spencer's eyes start to spread across his skin. Spencer cried without making a single noise. He just held on to Derek's arms, pressing his face against his chest. He took a few deep, shuddering breaths before it seemed like he had composed himself again.

"Spencer… Spencer, I… That must have been horrible," Derek murmured against his ear.

Spencer sniffled and shook his head.

"I walked in there, Derek. Even knowing that I was going to be letting someone hit me for money, I still sat down and _agreed_ to it," Spencer said, voice laced with derision for himself.

" _No_ , Spencer. You were just a _kid_. Whether you wanted to do any of those things or not, the people who did them to you were _adults_ and they should have known better. They shouldn't have _asked_ you to do anything like that. _They're_ the ones at fault, not you. You have to believe that Spencer," Derek said in a firm voice.

Spencer just shook his head again and averted his eyes, before he continued speaking.

"After they gave me the drugs, I… I don't know if I blacked out. I just can't really remember what happened. I had never _taken_ anything before, and I think whatever dose they gave me was really strong. When I… Well, the next thing I remembered was coming to. I was still strapped in the chair but my body was aching all over. I could taste blood in my mouth and I already knew my face was swollen. It was hard to open one of my eyes. But when I looked down I could see that all my… all my clothes were gone, except for my underwear. I guess they cut the rest of it off at some point. And… when my thoughts finally cleared a bit more… I realized that there was come all over my chest and legs," Spencer said, voice still muffled against Derek's chest.

"Spencer…" Derek said, with alarm.

But Spencer ignored him as his shoulders stiffened. It was obvious that he hadn't liked the note of pity he heard in Derek's voice.

"I was still really out of it, so I hadn't noticed that Ivan and Viktor were in the room with me. They came over to me, asking me if I was alright. I don't know how long I had been out, but apparently they had finished everything they needed to do for their little video. I didn't even see the camera anywhere anymore. They undid the straps and when I was finally free, one of them handed me a towel. He told me to wipe my face. I realized they had come on me there too," Spencer said bitterly.

"But it hurt even to raise my arms to do _that_. When I pulled the towel away from my face I could see how much I was bleeding. I didn't… I remember being afraid of even trying to look at my face. Ivan and Viktor were talking to me—I think they were telling me I did a good job or something—but I could barely pay attention to them. I just… I just wanted to get out of there. I could see all the bruises all over my body. And all I could think about was 'where are my clothes' and, really, if they would even _let_ me leave," Spencer continued.

"But then they were lifting me to my feet and out of the chair. As soon as I stood up I felt this shooting pain in my foot. And when I jumped back, I reached out to grab on to one of them, and I felt a similarly awful pain in my left arm. Holding me up, Viktor and Ivan explained that they had hit me with a metal pipe on my foot and they had twisted my arm while I had been drugged. Apparently these were specific _requests_ ," Spencer almost spat.

"They had the gall to look almost apologetic, but I could barely stand up. I had no clothes. And I had no idea how I was going to get home. I started to panic. But then they brought me some spare clothes; some sweats and a hoodie and t-shirt. After I got dressed, they handed me a thick white envelope and I could already tell that that was my money. They told me that they had called me a cab, and that I should just go home and rest up. But, I knew that since I could barely even put any pressure on my foot it was most likely broken. I told them I probably needed to go to a hospital. And then… then Ivan grabbed me and suggested—in a way that didn't really _sound_ like a suggestion—that it was better if I just went home and slept it off," Spencer said as he shuddered a bit. "I guess maybe they were afraid of the cops getting involved."

"He then shoved four small vials into my hand and told me that I could use those to manage my pain. I… I just wanted to get out of there, so I told him I would listen to him, put the bottles in my pocket and let them walk me to the door. Thankfully the cab was already waiting outside. And when I got in… well, the first thing I did was ask the driver to take me to the hospital. No matter what Ivan told me, I knew I wouldn't be able to do anything if I didn't get myself checked out," Spencer said.

Derek found himself nodding in approval, relieved that Spencer had been smart. That he had gotten out of the situation without any further damage being done to him, and that he had not let the man browbeat him into going home with injuries. For a sixteen-year-old in such a terrifying situation, Derek was almost floored by how strong Spencer had been. But he also hated the idea that Spencer had had to _be_ in that type of situation in the first place.

"When I was finally seen at the hospital, I had to make up some story about being mugged," Spencer continued. "And I guess I looked bad enough that they believed me, but one of the nurses seemed like she thought I was assaulted—like someone had beat me up on purpose. She even asked me if there was an at-home domestic violence situation. But I told her no. They gave me x-rays and while my face looked pretty bad, there was no real damage there, just swelling. I did, however, have a spiral fracture in my left arm and a hairline fracture in my foot. I remember feeling really angry because almost all my money went to paying for the exams and treatment. It was really like none of what I had gone through had been _worth_ it. And that suspicious nurse really wanted me to get a sexual assault kit done, too, but I refused. I wasn't going to let them do that to me-"

"Spencer, are you serious? You don't… Kid, you were unconscious for most of it; you didn't have any idea what they did to you," Derek said in an incredulous voice.

"I _know_ they didn't do anything," Spencer said defensively, body tensing and showing his discomfort with the topic. "I… I would've felt it, don't you think? I mean, I hurt practically everywhere, but not _there…_ And I knew… I knew they hadn't removed my underwear. They were honest about _that_ at least."

Derek couldn't believe what he was hearing. On one hand, he did understand—maybe a little too well. Spencer was younger back then, and naïve. Maybe it made sense that he would so foolishly believe that 'nothing had happened' simply because that was what had been _promised_. But Derek was even more appalled to think that Spencer sounded like he still believed that _now_. It was a deep form of denial. But maybe that was the only way Spencer had been able to make peace with the things that had been done to him against his will. And, really, who was Derek to judge? Spencer had been through a singularly horrific experience in itself, just by being bound to a chair and abused. What good did it do to have him worry about whether he had been assaulted when he was unconscious? That was all in the past now. Sometimes it was just easier to leave things there. Derek knew _that_ from personal experience, too.

Sighing to himself, Derek decided he wouldn't argue with Spencer. Instead, he would comfort him.

"Ok, kid, ok," he said as he wrapped his arms around Spencer, even though Spencer's body language seemed to show that he was resistant to Derek's hug. "I… We don't have to talk about that anymore. Alright? It's in the past, and I'm just happy to know you got out of that and you're ok now."

Spencer slowly relaxed into Derek's embrace, as if he finally believed the sincerity of Derek's words. Or maybe he was just exhausted. Tired of rehashing painful memories of the past. Tired of feeling as if he had to be on his guard with how much he revealed about himself to others. But there was also something somewhat freeing about getting all this off his chest. Spencer had been alone for so long. Even when he _had_ been still living with his mother, it felt like he was all by himself because she could so very rarely 'be there' for him. She couldn't support him or comfort him when he felt scared or overwhelmed. Spencer had had to do that job for the both of them.

Really, Spencer had felt like he had had to fend for himself since he was barely ten years old. Things had just gotten increasingly harder the older he got. But now Derek was here. Derek was willing to listen. And even though Spencer sometimes got defensive because he was ashamed or he thought Derek was being _too_ understanding (something in Spencer found that to be somewhat patronizing), he knew that Derek's true intent was always just to comfort him. Spencer just didn't always know exactly how to _accept_ that. But he was willing to try.

"I wish I had never taken that job…" Spencer murmured after a while, cutting into the silence that had settled over the room. "Things… things just got so much worse after that. I… I felt really stupid for having let those guys do that to me. I was angry that I got hurt _again_. And angry that I had been through all that, yet didn't even really have any money to show for it. And… I was just in pain, in general. Bruised, sore; my mother hadn't even said anything when she saw me come home like that. I just wanted to forget for a little while, so I… I tried the stuff in the vials that Ivan gave to me. Reading the label I knew it was called 'dilaudid'—I knew it was some kind of narcotic pain reliever. But I just didn't care… it made me feel good."

Derek sat quietly as he listened to Spencer's explanation. It pained him to hear Spencer talk about feeling so trapped and alone. And he hated that Spencer sounded like he was blaming himself; like he thought, for some reason, that any of this was his fault. He could hear Spencer take another deep breath, and thought for a second that he could feel Spencer trembling slightly in his arms. Derek steeled himself, knowing that Spencer was going to tell him more.

"I… I used it for about a year," Spencer confessed. "N-not all the time. Only when things got really bad. I didn't think I had a problem or anything. I was just tired. I was tired of working so hard, doing so many jobs that barely paid me enough to keep the lights on and to keep up with my mother's meds. I was tired of coming home to a mother who half the time didn't even recognize who I was. Who, because of that, sometimes didn't even trust me. She wouldn't take the pills. Some days she wouldn't eat. I didn't know how to keep her healthy anymore… she was getting so much worse. So, I started asking myself 'What's the _point_?'"

A long silence filled the room—as if Spencer was mulling over the thoughts and feelings he had just admitted to—before he began speaking again.

"…there came a time when I wouldn't come home for awhile; days at a time, even," Spencer said as he rolled on to his side, turning away from Derek, as if, for this part of the story, he didn't want the older man looking at him.

"I had started working as a waiter at one of the clubs owned by the same people who ran _Mon Petit Chien_. It didn't pay nearly as much as… you know… 'dancing,' but back then I told myself that I would never stoop _that_ low," Spencer said with a rueful-sounding laugh. "Because the hours were so weird, I was staying over at the place of one of the girls from the club. She… she was very nice, but she knew that sometimes I used the dilaudid and she also had some… some other 'things' to try… It wasn't exactly the best environment for me… She… she got me in touch with a guy who could get more of the dilaudid for me. I guess I had started to develop a habit and didn't know it'd be so hard to get prescription drugs when you really needed them. It was expensive, but he didn't exactly want _money_ … So, we had an arrangement. B-but the vials lasted a while, so I only had to do that three or four times," Spencer said quickly.

Before Derek had a chance to open his mouth, Spencer rushed forward, as if he didn't want to hear Derek's thoughts on what he had just said.

"Well, one of the days I was passed out on my friend's couch, high as a kite, and without a care in the world, I got a call at around 5 in the morning. It… it was one of my neighbors," he said, voice breaking slightly with emotion. "They told me there had been a f-fire. I hadn't been coming home. I used to make all my mom's meals, and I guess… I guess she got hungry and decided to cook something for herself this time. U-usually she'd never _do_ that. My mom hated cooking. When she was having a good day, she would just order out. And even if it was one of the bad days, if she was hungry she'd just make a sandwich. I _always_ kept the fridge stocked. Bu-but this time—this _one_ time, she decides to cook a-and she… The whole place burned down. I-if someone hadn't noticed the smoke my mom could've… She would've…"

Hearing how Spencer's words had gotten lost in the sobs that started to slip from his lips, Derek couldn't stop himself from sidling up behind Spencer and wrapping his arms around the boy's shaking form.

"Shh, shh," Derek whispered against Spencer's ear. "It's ok. It's ok."

Spencer began to cry openly, trembling in Derek's arms. Derek tried to calm him down; tried to get him to stop talking. But Spencer wanted to get the words out.

"Because of me...she had to experience something as scary as that. Because of _me_ , the only person she had to rely on, she almost _died_ , Derek! M-my mom… my mom is a paranoid schizophrenic. She's been sick my entire life. She… she's made so many sacrifices for _me_. And I… I just left her. I was selfish and I gave up. I didn't want to _care_ anymore. And that just… that was the worst thing I had ever done in my life," Spencer said, amongst broken sobs.

"Don't blame yourself, Spencer," Derek said, as he gripped Spencer tighter. "We all make mistakes. Your mom wasn't well. You can't take that all on your shoulders, kid."

Shaking his head in disagreement, Spencer let himself cry for a little while longer, hands crossed over Derek's arms which were locked tight around him. Feeling like he wanted Spencer closer—needed the boy to engage with him, see him as someone he could trust—Derek turned Spencer in his arm and encouraged him to lay his head back on his chest. When Spencer finally calmed himself a bit more, he took another deep breath before continuing on.

"When I got to my house, after getting the call from my neighbor, everything had practically gone up in smoke. There was nothing left. But what was even worse is that the fire had spread to one of our other neighbors' house. It had caused damage, but… but it wasn't anything significant. _They_ hadn't lost their home. But, they knew my mom was sick and, honestly, had just been putting up with her. She had caused some other trouble in our neighborhood before, but those past things had just been inconveniences—nothing serious; nothing _dangerous_. But, with the fire, that was the last straw. The… there were concerns that my mom was a public menace and… Well, people came to talk to me, about needing to put her a-away somewhere before she could hurt someone else. It was practically that or filing charges against her," Spencer said in a tight voice.

"I didn't _want_ to send my mom away… I never wanted to do something like that to her. But, I also… I didn't want any of them to start poking around. I was only 17… I had more than half a year to go before I was an adult. I didn't want them to find out that I had nowhere else to go and make me a ward of the state. I felt really backed into a corner; like I had no choice. The social worker offered to put her in a state facility but… the least I could do was put her somewhere nice, you know? That… Well, that's why I took the job at _Mon Petit Chien_. Within a month of the fire, I had my mom checked in to the Bennington Sanitarium and I was… I was… 'performing' at the Club. And I never touched dilaudid again," Spencer said.

He then took a deep breath, letting it out in a big whoosh, like he was letting all his demons out with it. After Spencer finished telling his story, silence descended on the room. As the seconds passed by, it seemed as if the silence grew, putting more and more distance between them like it was a tangible thing. But Derek needed to process. Spencer had just told him so much. So very many awful things. There were so many things Derek wanted to say, but it was impossible for him to even decide which he should tackle first. But as he spent time thinking about it, he could feel Spencer's body stiffening in his arms. He had to let Spencer know that none of what he had just told him would change anything between them.

"Kid… I know that must've been so hard on you… To go through all of that, on your own. I just… I can't imagine anyone else being able to carry such a heavy burden. Being so strong. And I'm just really happy you trust me enough to tell me all this," Derek finally said, giving Spencer's arms a reassuring squeeze.

Spencer nodded and kept his head tucked against Derek's chest. He began to wipe at his eyes and cheeks, as if just noticing the trail of tears that stained his face. Derek squeezed him again, rubbing his back, and hoping that he could give Spencer some kind of comfort.

"Derek… I know something bad happened to you, too," Spencer whispered quietly after a while.

Derek tensed, his arms tightening around Spencer.

"What do you mean, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked, keeping Spencer close to his chest.

"Well...wh-whenever I tell you about… um… the things that've happened to me, you always squeeze me really tight," Spencer began.

"It's because I want you to know I'm here for you kid," Derek said immediately.

"But, you get this look in your eyes and… well, Derek, I just feel like I _know_. And of course, I don't expect you to ever feel obligated to tell me about it, but knowing that you understand makes it easier for me to tell you what's happened to me. It makes it so I feel less ashamed… less angry with myself, and less like I have to hide it. And I hope that maybe someday I could return the favor to you if you ever _did_ want to share with me," Spencer said quietly.

Derek was silent for a few moments, and Spencer said nothing, even though the man's tight grip had become almost painful. But then Derek was sighing and he relaxed his arms around Spencer.

"Kid… not yet. I'm… I just can't. Not yet," was all Derek could say.

"I know. It's ok. Whenever—and _if_ ever—you do want to, I'll listen," Spencer said as he pressed his cheek against Derek's warm chest. "Because it really means so much that you listened to _me_. Thank you for listening to me, Derek."

Silently, Derek just nodded, as he held Spencer tight.

* * *

After such an emotional start to their morning, Spencer and Derek had unwittingly fallen back to sleep. By the time they woke up, it was already almost noon, and, thus, Derek's promise of breakfast in bed had turned into lunch in the living room. Spencer hadn't objected, knowing that if he lounged around in bed any longer he probably would never get up. He had a splitting headache—probably from all the crying—and his body was stiff and achy. A long shower had quickly solved most of those issues, and by the time Spencer walked down the stairs, Derek was showered and dressed, and plating their lunch.

They ate grilled chicken sandwiches with bacon and cheddar. They enjoyed each other's company. They didn't talk about any of the things that had been discussed upstairs. Derek wanted to give Spencer some space. He had felt so privileged that the younger man had trusted him enough to divulge such long-held secrets to him. And he got the impression that Spencer didn't want him to feel 'sorry' for him. So, Derek was willing to give Spencer whatever he needed in that moment. But Derek really did think talking _had_ helped him. Spencer seemed somewhat lighter; as if some weight had been lifted. However, Derek also noticed that Spencer stuck close to him throughout the day. Not really 'touching,' but there was rarely any more than a few inches between them. As if, somehow, Spencer took comfort in his presence. But Derek understood that. After all the things Spencer had told him, the boy probably felt emotionally raw.

But sometimes Spencer would get quiet, or the conversation would trail off, and Derek could tell that the younger man was lost in his own thoughts; most likely drawn back to those vivid moments that had only taken place a few years ago but which probably still felt as 'fresh' as if they had happened yesterday. And Derek didn't want Spencer to spend his day wallowing in the 'mistakes' he thought he had made in his past. So Derek suggested they go out.

"Let's take Clooney for a walk," Derek offered as he shifted from his position on the couch.

He and Spencer had settled on the couch following lunch; Derek, watching a game, and Spencer flipping through a book at his usual alarmingly-fast rate. Spencer's legs were curled up next to his; again, not _touching_ , but close enough that if he stretched a few inches he could if he wanted to. Derek had thought it was cute when he noticed that Spencer wore mismatched socks, one gray, the other purple. It was the first time he had realized that and when he asked Spencer about it, the boy had blushed and explained it was 'superstition.'

Upon hearing Derek's suggestion, Spencer looked up from his thick novel.

"A _walk_?" he asked with one eyebrow raised, and a bit of a dubious look on his face.

Derek couldn't help but find his expression adorable. Spencer was wearing his glasses and his hair was tousled as it had dried a bit funnily after his shower. He looked exceptionally relaxed, like he had just woken up from a great nap. But he also looked like it'd take a lot to convince him to move from his place on the couch.

"Come on," Derek said as he patted Spencer's corduroy-clad thigh. "It'll be good to get out and get some fresh air. Plus, I'll take you to this great cupcake place down near Georgetown. It's famous. And I know you'll love it with that sweet tooth of yours."

It seemed as if the promise of a sweet treat had piqued Spencer's interest and with a bit of an affected sigh, Spencer finally closed his book and nodded his acquiescence.

It didn't take long for them to get ready, along with the fact that once Derek picked up the leash, Clooney started barking excitedly and practically herded the two men out the door. With coats and scarves quickly thrown on, they were soon on their way.

* * *

The afternoon passed quickly, and without much complaining from Spencer. It seemed that once Derek actually convinced him to go outdoors, Spencer actually really enjoyed taking in the sights as they walked. On their way back, with Spencer armed with a box of cupcakes, in almost a dozen different flavors he had wanted to try, and a large cup of coffee, and Derek holding Clooney's leash as the dog happily trotted in front of them, Derek got a phone call.

Stopping their conversation short, apologetically, Derek reached for his phone and when he saw the display his brow furrowed, seeing that it was Garcia calling him again. As he went to answer it, Derek asked Spencer if he would hold Clooney's leash, if only to see the somewhat terrified expression Spencer had at the thought of being in charge of the large animal. However, Derek wrapped the leash a few times around Spencer's hand and told him he would be fine. He pointed Spencer to a bench that was a few feet ahead of him and Spencer reluctantly led the dog over and took a seat.

Stepping away to answer the call, Derek was greeted with Garcia's sweet voice.

"Hi stud-muffin, so sorry to be calling you on a Sunday," she apologized. "We just got contacted from one of the detectives in a case you consulted on about three months ago. Apparently the trial date they had set for the case got moved up a few weeks to accommodate an expert witness' schedule, and so the trial is set to start this week. The detective contacted the office seeing if you could come in to go over your report so they'll be ready to go on Monday. I know it's a lot to ask, but the guy is desperate—practically panicking. And he said it shouldn't take much more than an hour."

Derek let out a frustrated sigh. This was sometimes part of his job too, and he didn't really mind it, if it meant it'd help send a deserving criminal to prison. But sometimes the hours and expectations were really inconvenient.

"I guess I got no choice then, Baby Girl," he said in a conciliatory tone.

"Aww, you're such a sweetheart, Der-bear! Well, at least you'll have some company when you get in since Em and JJ are actually in the office today, too, because, a few certain somebodies were naughty girls and went out drinking on Friday night instead of finishing up their casefiles. They were so hungover they couldn't come in on Saturday as they had planned and they wanted to make sure they finished the files before Hotch had a chance to notice on Monday," Garcia said somewhat conspiratorially.

Derek couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I gotta say I'm kind of surprised your name isn't included in that list. You telling me you abstained from drinking with them?" he teased.

Garcia laughed playfully.

"No, I was there, but I had to bow out early. Baby Girl had a D-A-T-E. So I only stuck around for a couple of drinks before I had to go meet _my_ mystery man. And apparently JJ and Em stayed an extra _four_ hours after I left so… needless to say they were pretty wrecked," Garcia said, giggling.

"Oh, I _see_ ," Derek said. "So, we gonna talk about that mystery-man, 'cause you know I need to be kept up to date on any knucklehead who thinks he's good enough for my Penelope."

"Oh, really, Derek Morgan? You want me to start grilling you again about _your_ secret girlfriend?" Garcia asked, a smirk evident in her voice.

Derek cringed as he shook his head, but he could only laugh in return.

"Touché, Mama. You got me there. I'll stay out of your business. Tell that detective I'll be there around 3:00, ok?"

They then said their goodbyes and Derek pocketed his phone. As he walked over to where Spencer was sitting, sipping his coffee and distractedly patting the top of Clooney's head (who was, surprisingly, sitting quite patiently next to the bench), Derek glanced down at his watch. It was almost 2. He felt reluctant to have to part with Spencer again, especially with the kind of morning he had had, but there really was no helping it.

"Hey, kid, so that was another work call," Derek said as he came to a stop in front of Spencer. "Unfortunately, I've gotta stop in to take care of some last minute details for a case that's coming up. But, I should really only be gone for a few hours."

Spencer gave him a sweet smile.

"That's fine, Derek. Don't worry. I've got cupcakes and books to keep me busy," he responded.

"Thanks kid, but I still feel really bad," Derek said. "How about when I get back we go catch a movie and get something to eat afterwards, so I can make it up to you?"

"Derek, you really don't have to 'make it up to me.' It's your job; I understand. But, yeah, sure, that sounds good to me," Spencer said with a laugh.

As they started walking back to Derek's place, Derek made an attempt to reclaim the dog leash but Spencer told him he'd be fine with holding on to Clooney since the dog had apparently _not_ turned out to be as much of a monster as he had first feared. Laughing, Derek took the cupcake box from Spencer to free up his hand for keeping a better grip on Clooney's leash, and casually threw an arm over the boy's shoulder. Spencer blushed as they walked past a number of people on the street, wondering what they thought about the two of them, but he found that he didn't quite mind the looks at all.

* * *

It was approaching 5:00 when Derek finally said his last goodbyes to the detective he had been working with. The man had thanked Derek numerous times for having come in, especially when he was on vacation, but Derek really didn't know how many more ways he could try to convince him that it was _fine_ and he really hadn't minded.

Shaking his head as he began clearing down his desk, he was alerted to the sound of laughter as JJ and Emily walked out of the breakroom and back into the bullpen, each holding coffee mugs.

"Hey! All done?" Emily asked as she saw Derek in the middle of clearing his desk.

"Yup," he said with a grin.

"Aww, I thought we'd still have someone here to keep us company as we serve the rest of our duty," JJ said with a small pout.

"You make it sound like detention," Derek said as he laughed.

"It kind of _feels_ like it," Emily groused. "At work on a beautiful Sunday afternoon? It's not even that cold out today. I could be shopping."

"Well, you girls kinda brought it on yourselves," Derek said, as he waggled his eyebrows. "I bet all those shots you took don't seem so worth it now?"

Emily rolled her eyes at him and JJ nudged him with his elbow.

"Oh!" JJ said as she snapped her fingers and placed her mug down on her desk. "Em, I forgot we're waiting for that fax on the Durham case. Let me go check to see if it came in."

Emily nodded at her, as the blonde turned on her heel and briskly walked out the room.

As Derek finished putting his things in his bag and shrugged his jacket on, he could feel Emily's eyes on him.

" _Yes_ , Prentiss? May I help you?" he asked with a laugh.

"So...what're _your_ plans for the rest of the night?" she asked with a smile and an arched eyebrow.

"Uh... just dinner and a movie, I think," he said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I bet Spencer will be pretty excited about that, huh?" Emily said nonchalantly.

Derek froze in mid-zip, hands stilling on the front of his jacket.

"Uh...What are you-" he began.

"Come _on_ , Derek. Rossi mentioned it to me after we finished the case on Friday. Why didn't you tell me Spencer was in town? I mean, we talked about the possibility of him visiting, but you said you'd update me if he ever finalized his plans," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Derek's eyebrows rose, and he floundered for words for a minute. But, he knew there was no way Rossi would have said anything incriminating to Emily, and he forced himself to calm down before giving her a wry smile.

"Well...it really wasn't set in stone until a few weeks ago. And, honestly, the kid just wanted to come to see the sights and to take a break from school. I knew if you girls got your hands on him, you'd monopolize all his time," Derek said, feeling as if he was lying through his teeth.

Emily stared at him for a moment, her dark eyes looking as if they were trying to read something on his face, but then she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Eh... well, that might be a _little_ true," she said with a light laugh and a shrug. "But, really, now that I know he's here, you've gotta let us 'get our hands on him,' as you say. Let's all do dinner this week. No excuses."

"Dinner?" they heard a voice ask from behind them.

JJ had just walked back in, a stack of papers clutched in her hand and an inquisitive look on her face.

"Yeah, Jayje, apparently _Spencer's_ in town and Mr. Morgan here neglected to tell us," Emily said as she jabbed her thumb in Derek's direction.

JJ's eyes lit up as she quickly dropped the stack of papers down on her desk.

" _Spencer's_ here? Like, our Spencer from Vegas?" she asked excitedly.

Emily laughed at that.

"Yes, 'our' Spencer," she said.

"And Derek, _what_? He's visiting and you weren't going to tell us?" JJ asked, a hint of mock accusation in her voice as she turned, with her hands on her hips, to look at Derek

Derek held his hands up in defense, backing up from them a bit.

"Really...it was a last minute thing, and I wanted to let him get accustomed to the city without feeling too overwhelmed," Derek tried to explain. "I didn't want him to feel like he had to go anywhere or do anything specific. It's bad enough that he has to see _me_ every day."

"Wait...is he _staying_ with you, too?" Emily asked, her sharp eyes locking on to his.

"Yeah," Derek said quickly. "I have the extra room, and I didn't see any reason for him to be spending unnecessary money on a D.C. hotel."

Before Emily could ask another question, JJ stepped between her and Derek, her excitement bubbling out of her.

"We definitely need to do dinner! How long is he going to be here?" she asked.

"Well, until the end of the week…" Derek began.

"Ok, so, sooner rather than later, it is! Oh, I can't _wait_ to see him," JJ said as she turned excitedly to Emily, almost ignoring Derek completely.

"Alright, you ask Spencer what's a good day for him. And, Derek, you better not forget, or give me some half-assed excuse about why you guys can't make it. You don't want me to have to come after you, do you?" Emily asked with a pointed look and a wink.

"No," Derek said on a sigh, "that I do _not_."

* * *

Derek had left the Bureau as quickly as he could after having been blindsided by JJ and Emily. After agreeing that he would run the idea of dinner past Spencer and get back to them with a specific date, they had seemed to have gotten caught up in each other, talking about what was the best restaurant to take Spencer to, and he had been able to sneak past them. When he got back home, he walked into his living room to see an endearing sight: Spencer with half an eaten cupcake poised at his lips, a book clutched in his other hand, and Clooney curled up at his feet. He had also laughed when he saw that five of the dozen cupcakes were already missing. Soon after that, he convinced Spencer to part with the cupcakes for the time being, and they left for the movie and dinner.

By the time they got back in, it was nearing 11:00. They were both tired and as soon as they walked in they went their separate ways to take their showers. When Derek finished his shower and stepped out into the hallway, he could still hear the water running in the hall-bath. He chuckled and shook his head at the fact that he was starting to realize Spencer really liked to take long showers. In the meantime, Derek decided he would run downstairs to make sure Clooney was settled for the night and that everything was put away.

As Derek began making his way back up the carpeted stairs, he heard the bathroom door creak open and caught a glimpse of Spencer walking out. Derek found himself smiling, quite happy with the sight of Spencer standing there with his damp hair, baggy t-shirt and long pajama pants. But then he saw the boy hesitate for a second with his hand on the guestroom door as he glanced towards Derek's closed bedroom door. He wondered what Spencer was doing, but then it dawned on him. Spencer didn't know _where_ he should be sleeping that night. It made sense. Since he had been there, Spencer had only spent one night in the guestroom. Other than changing clothes, Spencer really hadn't used the room very much. At this point, Derek figured, there really wasn't any sense in Spencer sleeping in that room anymore. But, every time Spencer had 'spent the night,' it had been because the two of them had practically tumbled into bed together. It wasn't like Derek had ever given him a formal invitation. So, he was sure Spencer needed to hear that from _him_ before he felt comfortable asking for it himself.

Derek cleared his throat, which caused Spencer to jump and look toward the stairs.

"You want to sleep in there?" Derek asked as he nodded toward his bedroom door.

Spencer flushed, and, looking down at his bare feet, he nodded.

"Come on, then," Derek said with a smile as he finished walking up the stairs.

He walked past Spencer, who was still standing by his own door, seeming uncertain. Not waiting for the boy to make up his mind, Derek opened his door and walked into his bedroom, leaving the door wide open as a welcome-sign for Spencer. Derek walked towards his bed and flopped down.

A few seconds later, Spencer walked in, closing the door softly behind him. He gave Derek a shy smile and Derek returned it with a toothy grin. He patted the bed beside him. Spencer licked his lips as he looked at Derek. He then grabbed the hem of his shirt and began to pull it up. Seeing this, Derek's eyes widened and he raised his hands in a negating gesture.

"No, no. No sex Spencer. Just sleeping," Derek said kindly. "Come here."

Spencer looked at him, a bit indecisively, but then smiled as he walked over to the bed. Derek pushed back the covers and Spencer climbed in, on the left side, as usual.

Almost immediately after Spencer got comfortable, he felt Derek slide up behind him, big arms coming to wrap around his waist.

"You good, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked against his ear.

"Uh huh," Spencer whispered.

"That's what I like to hear. Good night, kid," Derek said.

Spencer sighed contentedly as he nodded and closed his eyes. He felt warm and safe. It was something he was sure he could get used to.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you have it, a further look into poor Spencer's past life. I wish I could say things are going to be fluffier next chapter, but not really D:. More angst ahead, sweethearts. But, believe me; I really do intend to give this story some version of a 'happy ending!' Spencer just needs to make it through a few more hoops (circles of hell?) before that :/.

Kisses!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

A/N: Hmm… well, this chapter is _another_ heavy-hitter. A lot of stuff happens and then s*** hits the fan, haha. It's another one of those chapters where we're all over the place from angstiness, to fluffiness, to rising tempers, back to angstiness. Yikes! O_O As a disclaimer, I think you guys are _really_ not gonna like me in this chapter, haha.

Thanks, as always, for your great comments/questions, and for showing support to my story! Also, big thanks to my beta, A_WarriorZ_Haven, for helping me work through the plot.

xoxo

* * *

It was early on Wednesday morning when Derek woke up groggily to find that the spot next to him on the bed was vacant and cool. Two days had passed since Spencer and he had talked about the more painful parts of Spencer's past. Since then they hadn't spoken about it again. They spent the last two days laughing, teasing and flirting. One day was spent with Derek taking Spencer out to see more of his favorite sights around the city. And the other day, Spencer requested that they visit some of D.C.'s college campuses. Derek thought it was strange, especially since the colleges were on winter recess, but he had happily obliged since it was one of the first things _Spencer_ had volunteered that he wanted to do. They walked around the sprawling school grounds and had explored the campus haunts. Spencer had been especially excited about the bookstores and numerous coffee shops and cafes.

And every night Spencer slept in Derek's bed. He still seemed a bit uncertain if it was okay, but Derek could see that it made Spencer happy to share the bed with him. And more importantly, Spencer didn't _ask_ anymore. Last night Derek had even found Spencer under the covers with a book in his lap before Derek had even gotten in bed for the night. They hadn't had sex again since that morning two days ago. But that was more because of Derek's doing, not Spencer's. Spencer had made it clear that he was very much interested, but Derek had found himself starting to feel like maybe the boundaries were getting blurred a little bit. Even with that said, last night, Spencer had more than hinted at the fact that he was feeling 'pent up,' and Derek had chuckled before proceeding to tug his pants down and suck him off. Spencer had happily returned the favor, even though Derek had (weakly) protested, saying it wasn't necessary.

Groaning as he thought about it, Derek chastised himself, knowing that he had gotten a little too comfortable. Spencer was sleeping exclusively in his bed; they were having undefined (yet rather frequent) sex; and they were flirting like a couple in the honeymoon stage... But they _weren't_ a 'couple.' He didn't know what they were, really. All he knew was that he hadn't planned for any of this to happen, and he suddenly felt far out of his element. Spencer definitely meant much more to him than the random hookups Derek was used to having, but Derek also wasn't sure if he was ready to be someone's 'boyfriend.' And, to add to that, Derek was painfully aware of the fact that Spencer was _leaving_ at the end of the week. They probably should talk. No, they really _needed_ to talk. But Derek couldn't bring himself to do it. It was probably because, if Spencer were to ask him what he wanted, Derek wasn't sure what the answer to that question would _be_.

Sighing as he looked around, wondering where Spencer had disappeared to, Derek felt a small twinge of worry. It was very early. Not even 7am yet. There was no reason for Spencer to be up at this hour. Derek had already been awake for about 10 minutes and he didn't hear the telltale sounds of someone in the bathroom. It was possible that Spencer had gone to use the hall bathroom, but Derek couldn't really see any reason for him to do that. Plus, his bedroom door was open a crack and he would have been able to hear the sound of the shower running from where he was.

Getting fed up with waiting, Derek pushed back the covers and slid out of bed. Walking into the dark hallway he listened out for any sounds of Spencer, thinking maybe the younger man had returned to the guest bedroom for some reason. Hearing nothing, he peeked into Spencer's room and saw that the room was still dark and the bed had not been slept in, as he had figured. Furrowing his brow, he glanced around and saw that Spencer's satchel was missing. Closing the door, he stepped back into the hallway and glanced down the stairs where he was surprised to see the faint glow of a light. _That_ had definitely not been left on last night.

Derek had an inkling that that was where Spencer had disappeared to, and, wondering to himself, if maybe Spencer had gotten a bout of early-morning munchies, Derek quickly jogged down the stairs. When he walked into the living room, he was surprised to find Spencer curled up on the couch, book in one hand and a large mug in the other. From the lamplight Derek could clearly see that his hair was tousled and he had dark bags under his eyes.

"What's up?" Derek asked, from his position behind the couch.

Spencer jumped a bit as he looked up at him, as if startled, but then glanced away before answering.

"Nothing… I just wasn't tired anymore and didn't want to disturb you, so I decided to come down here…" Spencer murmured as he continued looking at the pages of his book.

"Not tired, huh? Well, it's 6:53 in the morning, kid, so I'm kind of finding that hard to believe. Is something the matter…? Did something wake you up," Derek asked as he walked further into the living room.

Spencer glanced down, the words in the book he had been reading blurring together. He didn't want to say anything to Derek, but the reason he had woken up so early—the reason he hadn't been able to go _back_ to sleep—was because he had had yet another nightmare about Adrian Moore. But he didn't want Derek to know that.

Spencer didn't want Derek to see him as 'broken.' Sure, Spencer had felt an almost tangible sense of relief after he had confided in Derek about his past. It was freeing to be able to share his secrets with someone else, after having kept them to himself for so long. He had known, before he had even opened his mouth, that Derek would have been distressed by the things he was going to say; that he would feel _bad_ for him. But, in that moment, that was okay. Spencer realized that maybe, once in a while, it was alright to be held and to have someone say 'it's not your fault.' And maybe he was able to accept that because those things had happened so many years ago and he had had some time to work through them; to live them over and over and put together his own thoughts about how he felt about them.

But Adrian Moore… Moore was like a raw, open wound for Spencer. It still felt so real. Sometimes he would close his eyes and he found himself right back there on that couch in the library at the Prince's Ball as Moore loomed above him, hands pressing painfully into his throat as he, literally, tried to choke the life out of him. Spencer knew that his past was 'problematic.' It made Derek act as if he had to walk on eggshells around him—as if he was afraid of hurting him like so many people before him had. Derek had even practically said as much to him before. Now, Spencer had the additional burden of being somewhat… 'traumatized' (he didn't like the word, but for the life of him couldn't think of a better one) by what had happened between him and Adrian Moore. He didn't want to tell Derek that he still thought about that man. Almost every day. He didn't want Derek to have _more_ reasons to think that Spencer was too damaged to be worth the trouble.

But Spencer couldn't deny the fact that his anxiety about Moore were taking a toll on him. Even though Spencer loved that he could now sleep in Derek's arms, surrounded by the older man's warmth and strong embrace, he had started to fear falling asleep. Derek had been able to keep his fear of Moore at bay for the first few days Spencer had been visiting, but now it felt as if that temporary bandage had run its course, and Moore was back to haunt his dreams.

Spencer remembered waking up, almost an hour ago, gripped with terror, a scream poised on his lips. It was so dark in the room that, at first, he didn't know where he was. He had almost released that wail of horror, but when he recognized his surroundings he had been able to clap his hands over his mouth in time. He had been in Derek's bed, with Derek curled up against his side, snoring lightly. And he had almost shrieked like a little girl. He hadn't wanted Derek to see him like that. Sweating, shaking like a leaf, and terrified.

But the dream _had_ been terrifying. He had dreamt about darkness. A darkness that he couldn't tell whether it came from a blindfold or if he had been locked in a place devoid of all light. He had dreamt about being bound; unable to move while he heard someone walking in circles around him. The person didn't talk, but Spencer knew they were there. He could hear them breathing. Then that person was touching him, stroking his face, his sides, his legs. And then Spencer felt the man lean in close, lips almost touching his ear, as he whispered 'Be a good boy.' After that dream, Spencer hadn't been able to stay in the bed. He couldn't stop himself from shaking and he was sure his movements would soon wake Derek up. So, he had pushed the covers off, and made his way downstairs. It wasn't like there would've been any chance of him falling back to sleep anyway.

But what bothered Spencer the most was that he knew his _imagination_ was his own worst enemy. He dreamed about Moore constantly, but every time the dream changed somewhat. It was amorphous. Every time he thought up some different way Moore was going to torture him or hurt him. But Spencer knew his mind was just filling in this menagerie of horrors because he didn't _know_ what Moore had really planned to do to him. Moore had teased and promised—had polluted Spencer's mind with the fear of 'what ifs'—but Spencer really hadn't seen what Moore was capable of. What Moore _would_ have done if he had gotten his hands on him.

"Pretty Boy?" Derek asked, dragging Spencer out of his thoughts.

Placing the book and mug down with a sigh, Spencer forced himself to look up at Derek. Even though he didn't want Derek to _know_ the things he was struggling with, he also knew that Derek was one of the few people who could help fill in those blanks. Because Derek had been a part of the investigation, he could help make it so that Spencer didn't have to imagine the worst-case scenarios anymore.

"Derek… I… Um… No one really told me what happened a-after… um," Spencer stuttered out, suddenly feeling afraid of what he wanted to ask. Then, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves he locked eyes with Derek, resolutely.

"I want to know what happened after Adrian Moore died. What… What did they find?" he asked.

Derek flinched hearing Spencer's words. If he thought about it, he actually wasn't all that surprised that Spencer was still thinking about Moore. It was only a matter of time before it would come up. Moore had brought the boy to the brink of death. It was a jarring and terrifying experience. Something that would _stick_ with a person. And, knowing Spencer, Derek was sure that the boy had not attempted to 'talk' to someone about any of his feelings following that horrifying night. Even though Derek knew services would've been offered to him by the LVPD following the close of the investigation. But, what Spencer was asking about was _evidence_. He wanted to know what they found out about Adrian Moore. Maybe, instead of counseling, _this_ was a form of closure for the boy.

Derek sighed as he turned toward Spencer, seeing the eagerness, but also the hesitancy. It was clear that Spencer wanted to know, and yet he didn't.

"You want to know more about Adrian Moore?" Derek asked as he slid on to the couch next to Spencer and reached out, taking Spencer's hand into his. The boy's pale fingers were trembling, but he closed his fingers around Derek's. It seemed to steady him.

Licking his lips, Spencer nodded at Derek. He looked meaningfully at the older man, honey-colored eyes wide and pleading.

Derek shook his head as he thought about the things his team had learned about Adrian Moore following the man's death. There was always a set protocol when an unknown subject had to be dealt with lethally. Yes, when an investigation ended in the death of the suspect, it avoided the messy process of filing charges, hoping they would stick, and then hoping that a perpetrator would be convicted at trial. However, killing a suspect also meant that there was often a sense of 'uncertainty.' If the man did not confess to his crimes, how could they know for sure that they had gotten the right person? How could they be confident that their list of victims was exhaustive? How could they know that there wasn't some unaccounted-for person locked up somewhere, left to be forgotten because their captor had never admitted to their existence before his or her death? Sometimes, having a dead Unsub left things unnecessarily messy. So, the Unit's general procedure when it came to cases that ended in the death of an Unsub was to painstakingly go through every aspect of that individual's life—their cars, real estate, bank accounts, relatives, pedigree, internet history, and so on. No single rock was left to be unturned. And thus the team had investigated Adrian Moore in the same thorough manner.

"The last night we spent in Vegas…" Derek began, and he immediately paused, mind straying, unbidden, to the night _he_ had spent with Spencer. He looked up at the boy and Spencer was also blushing, looking down at his lap. Derek couldn't believe that with all they had already done, they _both_ were getting flustered about their first night spent together. But, that was a beautiful night. Derek would never forget it.

Gathering his thoughts, Derek grabbed Spencer's other hand and pulled them both into his lap, stroking Spencer's hands. Spencer looked up at him and smiled softly. Derek returned his smile with a sad one of his own.

"The _team_ 's last night in Vegas had them going to Moore's house," Derek continued. "Moore had two residences. Hotch and JJ went with members of the LVPD to Moore's ranch house, about an hour outside of the city. Rossi and Prentiss took another team to his penthouse apartment, which was a high-rise about 10 minutes off the Strip. The apartment seemed to just be a base of operations. They found a lot of evidence of his travels, but nothing pertaining in particular to his crimes. But his house…"

Spencer looked at Derek with concern as the older man trailed off, as if the thought in itself was one too difficult to voice.

Scooting a little bit closer and removing his hands from Derek's, Spencer shifted his body into Derek's lap. Gathering what the boy wanted, Derek unfolded his legs and allowed Spencer's back to press against his chest. The boy's soft hair brushed against his mouth and nose and Derek inhaled deeply. He brought his arms around Spencer's shoulders, squeezing the boy tightly. Sighing contentedly, Spencer placed his hands over where Derek's arms crossed over his chest.

"Spencer... I don't want to tell you these things," Derek murmured against his hair.

"It's okay, Derek… Nothing you say will hurt me. It's all… I know _he_ can't hurt me anymore. And you're here with me. I'm safe with you," Spencer breathed out.

"Then… why are you doing this to yourself, kid? Why do you want to know any of it, at all?" Derek asked, squeezing Spencer again.

Biting his lip, Spencer shook his head. He understood Derek's confusion. It's not like he had some sort of morbid fascination with the maniac who had tried to kill him all those months ago.

He turned slightly in Derek's arms so he could see the older man's face.

"I've… been having these _dreams_ , Derek," Spencer admitted. "I… I know his voice, and his face. I know what it felt to have him… trying to choke the life out of me. But, I know nothing about… _him_. And even though that's a good thing, for the most part, my dreams… well, my dreams are filled with all the things I _imagine_ he would've done to me. Not knowing… not knowing actually makes it _worse_ because my imagination is endless. I keep obsessing about it. All the different ways he would've h-hurt me."

Spencer paused and Derek squeezed him even tighter, leaning forward to kiss his temple. Spencer sighed softly and then Derek's hand was coming up to stroke his hair lightly.

"I understand that," Derek said softly. "I understand needing to know."

"So… you'll tell me?" Spencer asked, as he locked eyes with Derek.

He could see the reluctance in the older man's dark chocolate eyes, but Derek nodded and Spencer smiled softly.

Turning back around and pressing closer to Derek's chest, Spencer waited to hear Derek's deep voice.

"What Hotch and JJ found at the house was… troubling, for lack of a better word. Moore… he was one of those guys who knew how to pretend to be someone else on the outside. Suave, well-educated, well-spoken. But inside—when you got inside his _personal_ spaces—he was obviously the same type of sicko we were used to dealing with. Consistent with our profile, we could tell that he was obsessed with order. Not a speck of dust anywhere; not a thing out of place. He had books by philosophers that all talked about the stark difference between good and evil. It was obvious that Moore thought he was some type of saint. And it was more obvious that he lived his life according to some very specific sense of morals," Derek began.

"The crime scene techs combed every inch of the house for evidence, while Hotch and JJ checked all the rooms to make sure there wasn't anyone else there. We didn't know if you were the first person he took such an… 'interest' in, so we had to make sure. And when they finally got to the basement… Well… what they found there… There was a _room_ there Spencer… We… we had reason to believe he had plans to keep you _there_ ," Derek admitted, and Spencer could hear a hard edge to his voice.

Swallowing thickly, Spencer tried to calm himself down, his mind already coming up with its own disturbing imagery.

"Wh-what was the room like?" he asked softly, voice barely above a whisper.

Derek hadn't _been_ there, of course. He had spent that last night with Spencer. And he was thankful that he had. If he had seen the room that Adrian Moore intended to keep Spencer in, well… Derek was sure he would've torn the room apart. But, he _had_ seen the case-files. The crime scene unit had been meticulous in cataloguing all pieces of evidence and they took pictures of every inch of the sprawling house. The 'dungeon,' as JJ had called it when they later discussed the cases, was a large room built into Moore's basement. The team had wondered to themselves who Moore had contracted with to build that room. Whoever had built it must have known that the owner was intending to use it for sadistic purposes. There was nothing remotely 'normal' about the specs for that room.

The pictures showed a well-appointed 10' by 12' room that, on first glance, might have appeared innocuous. Red silk sheets on the bed, high-end furniture strewn around the room, expensive clothing hanging in the closet, and, off to the side, a lavish ensuite bathroom with marble and stainless-steel finishes. But when one looked closer they would see that there were no windows. The door did not open from the inside, but there was a slot built into it, presumably big enough to fit a food tray through. There were restraints built into the bed. There was a closet of torture-tools in the corner of the room. It was a _prison_.

"It… He had a reinforced room built in his basement, Spencer. There was a heavy steel door with bars and locks on the outside and no handle inside the room. The person who would be staying there would never be able to get out on his own. It was sound-proofed. There was a…a bed in the middle of the room, fitted with leather restraints," Derek said and he could feel Spencer's body tense in his arms. "There was a camera in the corner of the room which sent a live-feed to a series of screens in the master-bedroom. We…we know he probably intended to watch you. He wouldn't have let you out of that room for a long time… And, what was worse, was that there was a closet filled with… tools."

Spencer really flinched upon hearing that, going almost rigid in Derek's arms.

" _Tools_?" he asked in a soft whisper.

Thinking about it, Derek's mind immediately went back to the pictures he had seen. There were a variety of items in leather, metal and latex. There were whips, of course, but also collars, clamps, and even a prod that had been later discovered to be _electric._ It had seemed like something out of a bad bondage film. But, the way they had profiled Moore, it was obvious to them that he wouldn't have been using the tools to get off, or even to bring Spencer any kind of pleasure. No. Moore would really have been using them to punish. To 'train' Spencer, as he had taunted. Based on their profile, they knew Moore most likely wouldn't have been in to deviant sex in the first place. Yes, he would have wanted to dominate Spencer, but Moore had convinced himself that he and Spencer were 'meant to be.' He would have wanted Spencer to submit on his own. He would have wanted Spencer to _ask_ for it. And it was clear to them that his 'training' would have involved hurting Spencer until that happened. This, to Moore, would have been Spencer's way of realizing that he 'loved' him.

Derek's arms unconsciously tightened around Spencer's frame. It had been hard for Derek in those first few weeks following the team's return from the Judgement Maker case. One of the first rules he had learned when he joined the Bureau was 'don't take the cases home with you' and 'don't let it become personal,' and Derek had violated those two with this case. Big time. Sometimes he found himself obsessively looking through the files, and telling himself, over and over again, that he had saved Spencer in time. That what he had done—by paying so much attention to the kid—had been the right thing. But other times, when the team would bring up the case, Derek had scrambled to find weak excuses to avoid talking about it. Because he couldn't stop thinking about Spencer. He didn't like discussing Spencer as a 'victim,' or detailing the ways in which Adrian Moore had stalked him or had killed people because of his obsession with the boy. And, more than anything else, he didn't need images of Spencer, being hurt in the ways Moore had wanted to hurt him, flooding his mind.

"Derek…?" Spencer asked tentatively, after the older man had gone too long without speaking.

Derek took a deep breath and pulled Spencer closer.

"I don't want to tell you these things, kid. And I… I know you want details, but no one needs to know the kinds of things he had down there. It'll do you more harm than good. Just… just know that if we hadn't caught him… if he had had a chance to get his hands on you, he would've locked you up down there and he would've spent a lot of time using those 'tools' to hurt you. He wanted to make you submissive to him. _Dependent_ on him. And he was going to devote as much time as it took to break you," Derek said in a voice tinged with anger.

"How… how do you know _that_?" Spencer asked as he tried to shift in Derek's arms to see the older man's face, but Derek's grip on him was too tight.

Derek hesitated for a moment before he decided to tell Spencer the part he had hoped to keep from the younger man. But, he knew that Spencer needed to know. He needed to be able to fill in the gaps to stop Moore from morphing into some type of phantom figure that would haunt his dreams. If he knew more about Moore he would be just a _man_ , not something that went bump in the night.

"He kept a journal. Those are the types of things we're trained to look for, too. We know that serial killers tend to like to… memorialize their kills. So JJ was searching through his bedroom when she found a lockbox in a compartment behind his bed. When they were finally able to get inside the box, it contained a leather-bound notebook. But… it wasn't about his other kills, at all. It was all about _you,_ kid. He chronicled the first time he saw you. Well... you know he knew about the _tape_ ," Derek said softly, and felt Spencer go almost completely still in his arms, as he had expected the boy would, having been reminded of one of the most painful moments in his past.

Waiting a few moments before continuing, as he stroked Spencer's arm, Derek sighed when he felt Spencer's body finally relax slightly.

"But, it seems the first time he _met_ you—in person—was probably the first time you attended one of those 'parties.' He talked about watching you, and how it was 'fate' that he was able to run into you like that. He… took an interest in you and started asking around. He was finally able to link you back to the club, and once he did that well… it looks like someone there was feeding him information about you. To be honest, it was probably your manager, that Roth woman. But he had been careful not to use names, so we'll never know for sure. And he grew more and more obsessed with you. He knew your schedules, who you talked to, where you went. He talked about his visit to see your mom… And his journal also clearly showed when he went from just wanting to protect you to… _wanting_ you," Derek said bitterly.

Spencer tensed again, and Derek was almost sure he had felt a shudder run through the boy's thin body. Derek grimaced, hoping he wasn't doing more harm than good by relating these facts to Spencer.

"Is… is any of this actually _helping_ you?" Derek asked doubtfully.

"Y-yeah, it actually is," Spencer admitted quietly. "Although it's quite, um, disturbing to know he kept a journal about me, it also helps me understand how he knew so _much_. I had felt so… so _violated_ when I learned that he knew all those things about me. Things that I had never told anyone else. And I couldn't understand how he had managed to do it. He was watching me… taking _notes_ , and I never suspected a thing. He must've been around me more times than I could count, but I had never noticed him. And, to think, he was keeping that all locked up in a box behind his bed."

Spencer shook his head as he let out a dry, disbelieving laugh.

Derek felt somewhat relieved. Even though it was obvious Spencer was distressed by what he had heard, he did seem to appreciate it. And Derek would be happy if he could give Spencer any semblance of comfort in that moment. He hadn't wanted to tell Spencer nearly half of what he had, but he had committed to being honest with the boy. However, what Derek _hadn't_ told Spencer—and probably never would—was that there had been something else in that box. A DVD.

The crime scene techs had bagged the item to analyze it back at the station, but JJ had been almost certain what would be on it, and had solemnly told the team as much. And when they finally got the report—stating that the video contained footage of the obvious sexual assault of a brown-haired male who appeared to be a minor—and were asked what the BAU wanted them to do with it, Hotch had made the decision that the DVD could be destroyed. The assailant was dead, and could no longer be brought to justice. No one needed to see it. Not even the members of the BAU. And _Derek_ had decided that Spencer never needed to know that that DVD had still existed. It was better for him to think it had been destroyed, and now that was actually the truth.

Both Spencer and Derek had been quiet for a while, as they each mulled over their own private thoughts, but then Spencer shifted a bit in Derek's relaxed arms and turned to face the older man.

"Derek… be completely honest with me," Spencer began as he locked eyes with Derek, lip trembling slightly. "D-do you think that… that if Moore had gotten me…. that if you guys hadn't been there…. Do you think he would've killed me?"

Derek's eyes widened at Spencer's words. His gut reaction would have been to look away, think up some placating answer that would 'comfort' Spencer. But, Derek immediately knew he couldn't _do_ that to him. Derek had been doing this job too long to know how stalker cases ultimately turned out, especially if a stalker succeeded in abducting his victim. Someone like Moore—whose emotions seemed to dance on the edge of a knife—would likely snap at the slightest thing. Although Derek was sure Spencer was smart enough to know not to purposefully anger his captor and, out of self-preservation, would probably have given in to most of his demands, there was no way to ever predict how someone like that would react on any given day. He would've been in danger. And, yes, after some time, he most likely would have been killed.

"Listen, kid," Derek said with a heavy sigh as he looked into Spencer's eyes. "Moore… he was unpredictable. He was the type that would've wanted everything his way. You're smart and resourceful and I do think that you would've been able to keep him calm in the beginning. But, human beings aren't meant to be 'kept.' We aren't meant to bend to the will of others, and that's what Moore would've wanted. You would've tried your best to make him happy, to do what you had to do to survive. But, one day, it's likely you would've done something—some small, miniscule little thing—that would've caused him to snap. Or, something in _his_ life would've gone awry and it would've cracked the perfect fantasy-land he was living in, to the point where he would've no longer been able to continue with it. In any case, you would've gotten hurt because of it. And… yes… it's likely that, sooner or later, he would have killed you."

A thick silence descended upon the room as Derek's last words echoed through it. While Derek's words had turned the blood in Spencer's veins to ice, Spencer had also seen that it had pained Derek to say something like that out loud. That it had put images of his death into the older man's mind, and that was something Derek found hard to deal with. Spencer felt like, somehow, he probably shouldn't have asked Derek to _do_ something like that. But, Spencer also appreciated hearing the truth. He knew Moore was capable of killing. He had seen it with his very own eyes. But that still hadn't been enough to fill in the blanks for him.

Moore had been like a parasite sneaking around the edges of his consciousness; teasing him over the phone and taunting him with his gifts. But, Spencer had never known who he _was_. And when he _had_ finally met the man in person, it had only been a few short— _terrifying_ , yet short—minutes before he had felt the warm spray of blood on his face and the man had collapsed, dead, on top of him. Thus, 'Adrian Moore,' had turned into the embodiment of all Spencer's greatest fears. He feared something that was more than the man who had actually existed. And, while hearing more about Moore's 'plans' for him had been terrifying in itself, Spencer actually felt somewhat more at peace, because now he _knew_. He had Derek to thank for that.

"Derek… it's okay. Because of you… _all_ of you on the team, I-I didn't have to go through _any_ of that. I'm safe and alive because of _you_ , okay?" Spencer said as he wrapped his arms around Derek's waist and pressed his face into the older man's neck.

Derek didn't say anything. Instead he just held Spencer tighter.

"Thank you, Derek. Really. Okay? This _helped_. It helped me, and I'm thankful you told me the truth," Spencer murmured against his skin.

Derek nodded.

"Alright, kid. If you say so. Just…just let me know if you're still struggling. You don't have to go through any of this on your own," Derek whispered, lips pressing against Spencer's temple.

"I will Derek. I promise," Spencer said softly.

* * *

Following the early morning's discussion, Derek and Spencer had fallen asleep on the couch. It was almost at Derek's insistence, as he complained about the bags under Spencer's eyes and Spencer's obvious attempts to hide his yawns. Giving in, Spencer had allowed the bigger man to pull him on top of him, and throw the sport-themed fleece over both of them. Spencer had fallen asleep a lot more quickly than he had expected. And when he next opened his eyes, he could tell from the light filtering in through the window shades that it was late in the afternoon. He sat up with a shocked gasp.

A soft chuckle from behind him caused him to turn around in surprise, and he looked up over the couch to see Derek standing there, halfway through the process of removing his coat, as he gave Spencer a playful grin.

"Finally up, huh, Pretty Boy?" he asked.

Spencer furrowed his brows as he rubbed at his eyes.

"I… how long did I _sleep_?" Spencer asked, incredulously.

"Well, it's almost 5, so about 10 hours, give or take. But you obviously really needed it. Don't worry, though. _I_ got a lot of stuff done in the meantime, because _some_ of us like to be productive," Derek said with a laugh.

Spencer blinked in surprise. He couldn't believe he had slept that long. And apparently, he had been almost dead to the world, if Derek had been up and about, like he had said he had been, and Spencer hadn't even woken up. Yawning and stretching to work the kinks out of his stiff neck, Spencer blushed as a sudden, loud grumbling sound echoed from his stomach. When he had woken up earlier, he had only made himself a coffee. He hadn't eaten anything in _hours_. And now his stomach was obviously protesting his unintentional fast.

"And, I _figured_ you'd be starving. So I'm almost done making dinner too," Derek said with a wink, obviously having heard Spencer's stomach.

Spencer's blush deepened, but he decided to ignore Derek's comment.

"You just got back in?" he asked as he glanced at Derek's coat.

"Yeah, went for a run with Clooney. By the way, kid, you were so out of it that you didn't even wake up when Clooney licked all over your face," Derek said with a laugh. "But, don't worry; I didn't let him go at it for _too_ long."

Spencer blanched.

"Uh… I… I think I'm gonna go take a shower," he said with a grimace as he started rubbing at his face.

Derek rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Fine, but hurry up! I don't want my food getting cold waiting on you as you lounge up there in another one of your half an hour showers," Derek said, faking a glare.

Spencer couldn't help but laugh at that as he pushed himself to his feet.

"Ok, I'll try my best," he said with a smile.

* * *

As Spencer stepped into the warm spray of the shower, closing his eyes as he let the water run down over his face and neck, he found himself deep in thought about the events that had transpired that morning. He was shocked that he hadn't had any nightmares. And to sleep for 10 hours straight, well… that was almost unheard of for him. Spencer was used to sleeping intermittently, waking up multiple times during most nights from either a nightmare or the fact that his thoughts seemed to constantly be running on high-speed. This had been the case for years, but had grown increasingly worse in the months following his run-in with Adrian Moore. Spencer had learned to make his peace with the fact that he would just have to be perpetually _tired_. And the only time he could remember sleeping through the night recently had been a few days ago. The first time he and Derek had… well… Spencer blushed at the thought. He had chalked _that_ up to his body having been too exhausted by the previous night's 'activities' to do anything other than sleep like a log.

But, this morning had been different. Sure, he was exhausted. Derek didn't know it, but Spencer was getting a lot less sleep than the older man would have figured. Derek could see the bags that had been forming under his eyes this morning, but Spencer really hadn't been sleeping much since that morning he had woken up and told Derek about the video, the drugs, the fire, and his mom. Spencer would usually fall asleep before Derek—the other man's warm arms and deep breathing lulling him to sleep—but about an hour after that, he found himself waking up in a panic. As he had feared, Derek's presence could only do so much to keep his anxieties away. This morning, however, after talking to Derek and learning about Moore, Spencer couldn't remember dreaming at all.

Sighing as he quickly lathered his hair, Spencer wondered if it was too optimistic to hope that maybe Moore would stop 'haunting' him. He knew Derek hadn't told him _everything_. It was obvious the man was trying to give him the less-horrific version of the story. And Spencer was okay with that. He didn't exactly want the gory details. It's not like he would ever ask for that journal, or ask to see pictures of Moore's house. It had made his stomach twist into knots to hear about the prison-like room Moore had built for him. Spencer knew something like that existed—Moore had made it clear that he intended to 'keep' him—but hearing it in detail was something else, entirely. He shuddered as he imagined the windowless box, the steel door, and the restraints attached to the bed.

Knowing that, however, Spencer still hadn't _dreamed_ about it. And he took that to be a good sign. He was thankful to have a reprieve. At least for the time being. Smiling to himself, Spencer shut off the water. He could have very well stayed in the shower for another 10 minutes, but he didn't think Derek had been fully kidding when he had asked him not to linger. So, with a fond roll of his eyes, Spencer stepped out of the shower and began to towel off, wondering to himself what was for dinner.

* * *

To Spencer's delight, Derek had made lasagna from scratch, served along with toasted garlic bread. When they finished dinner it was already dark outside. Derek suggested they watch a movie, and had left Spencer to set up the DVD player and pick something out while he got started on the dishes. Derek had picked up an apple pie from a farmer's market on the way back from his run and was planning to surprise Spencer with 'apple pie a la mode' for dessert as they watched the movie.

Elbow-deep in the soapy water, Derek groaned as he realized he left his phone on the coffee table. He doubted anything important would come in during the fifteen or so minutes it would take him to finish the dishes, but he was always of the 'better safe than sorry' mentality, so he called out to Spencer.

"Hey, kid, can you grab my phone off the table and bring it in here for me?" Derek asked.

"Okay!" Spencer called back as he reached out to grab the black phone. As soon as Spencer's hand closed around it, a text message came in, illuminating the screen.

Spencer froze as his eyes immediately roved over the displayed text. He couldn't help reading it. It had been automatic for his eyes to zoom in on the words.

 _Savannah Hayes: Hey! I'm in town for the weekend. Couldn't stop thinking about how much 'fun' we had when I was here last time during Thanksgiving. So how about we have some more fun tonight? ;p Say, my place around 11?_

Spencer's mind quickly tried to make sense of what he was seeing. The text was from someone named _Savannah_. Someone who Derek had had 'fun' with around Thanksgiving. That was _three_ weeks ago.

Spencer's face flushed, fueled by a mixture of anger, confusion and…pain. He felt humiliated. Was Derek currently _seeing_ someone? Had he lied when he said he wasn't? And if so, Spencer thought to himself, what did that make _him_? What was he to Derek, in relation to this mystery woman? Was this 'Savannah' his girlfriend, and Spencer was just something he was doing as fun on the _side_? That thought hit him in the gut. It made him feel like… a _whore_.

Numbly getting to his feet, Spencer walked into the kitchen. He could see Derek humming and bobbing his head along to a song he was probably singing in his head. Spencer couldn't appreciate the quaintness of the scene, however. He wanted answers.

"Who's Savannah?" was all he said, and he watched as Derek jumped in surprise and turned around to him with a confused look on his face.

Spencer held out his right hand, that was clutching the phone, and, using it to gesture at Derek, he asked again, "Who is _Savannah_?"

And Spencer watched as it seemed something clicked in Derek's head, and the older man flushed, eyebrows drawing down in displeasure.

"Did you go through my _phone_?" Derek asked, in an accusing tone.

Spencer felt his face heat up again, but he didn't know if it was from embarrassment or anger.

" _No_! Of course I didn't! A text came in as soon as I went to reach for it. I couldn't _help_ but see it," he explained hotly. "But that doesn't answer my question! You _said_ you weren't seeing anyone."

"I'm _not_ seeing anyone," Derek responded.

"Then why did this… this… _woman_ text you that she had 'so much fun' with you over Thanksgiving and she can't wait to see you again? She expects you to go to her place tonight, at 11!" Spencer said, his frustration obviously apparent.

Derek sighed as he leaned against the counter.

"Spencer, that's… she's not… We're definitely not 'seeing' each other. That's just sex. Sex doesn't mean anything," Derek said flatly.

Spencer's eyebrows shot up, and Derek immediately knew he had said the wrong thing. As he gazed at the emotions flitting across Spencer's face, Derek wished he had put more thought into his words before he had opened his mouth. Spencer's lips were set in a grim line as he glared at Derek. Then he placed the phone on the counter top, turned around on his heel, and stormed out of the kitchen.

 _Shit_ , Derek thought to himself as he took a deep breath and leaned over the sink. _**That**_ _was not what I wanted to say_. Figuring Spencer was in the living room, fuming and waiting for him to run after him and explain himself, Derek began to dry his hands as he tried to think of a way to fix what he had said. However, just as he placed the dishcloth down on the counter, he heard what sounded like the door slamming and his eyes widened in surprise.

 _That cannot be what I think that was…_ Derek thought to himself in panic.

"Spencer?" Derek called out. Hearing nothing, he quickly walked out of the kitchen and was dismayed to see the place empty.

Panicking, Derek ran to the front door, not even bothering to put a coat on, and raced down the steps. When he got to the sidewalk, his head whipped around frantically in both directions, but Spencer was nowhere in sight. All Derek could see was the dark, deserted street.

"Dammit!" Derek shouted angrily.

He didn't know which way he should head. If he picked the wrong one that meant he would waste precious time, as Spencer could be wandering aimlessly in the opposite direction. Derek's neighborhood was safe, but it was still D.C. Walking four or five blocks in the wrong direction could have Spencer ending up someplace he definitely didn't need to be. And Spencer was definitely not familiar with the area. It was dark and bitterly cold out, and Derek couldn't help but worry. When angry, Spencer was irrational at his best and downright reckless when at his worst. Frowning, Derek ran back up his steps and into his house. Slamming the door, he quickly stormed into the kitchen and grabbed his phone off the counter.

He immediately found Spencer's number in his contacts and dialed it. Waiting impatiently as it rung a few times, Derek cursed when it went to voicemail. He tried back three more times, and once the call even cut off before it had rung two times. He knew he had been purposefully sent to voicemail. Growling to himself, Derek quickly shot off a text message to the stubborn recipient.

 _Derek Morgan_ : _Kid, this is NOT funny. If you don't pick up the next time I call I'm gonna contact my team and have them organize a search party for you. I'm completely serious._

Derek waited a few seconds before a response text came in.

 _Spencer Reid_ : _I don't want to talk to you_

Rolling his eyes with annoyance, Derek's fingers flew over the screen sending another brief message.

 _Derek Morgan: Tough. Pick up when I call._

Not waiting for Spencer to respond with any snarky comeback, Derek immediately dialed again. This time, the call was picked up, but Spencer didn't even say 'hello.'

"Kid, where are you?" Derek asked instead.

"Don't worry about where I am," Spencer responded curtly.

"Goddammit, Spencer. No matter how pissed off you are, you can't just go wandering around out there when you have no idea where the hell you're going," Derek said as he paced in the living room. His eyes were then drawn to the coat hooks behind the door and he frowned as he saw Spencer's dark gray pea coat was still hanging on its hook.

"And you didn't even bring your fucking coat, kid? Come on!" Derek said with frustration.

Spencer still hadn't responded and Derek knew he needed to rethink his approach. Obviously, scolding Spencer wasn't going to make the younger man any more likely to listen to him.

"Ok, listen…" Derek said after he had taken a deep breath. "I know you're angry, and maybe you need some time to yourself. Fine. I'll respect that. But, you have to be safe 'cause I can't sit here thinking you're walking around God-knows-where, in this weather, without knowing that you'll be okay. So, do me a favor: wherever you are right now, head back to Baltimore Ave. It's a main road, and there are a lot of cafes and shops there. Go sit down for an hour or so—get out of the cold—and clear your head. I'll give you _one_ hour and I won't bother you. But, if you're not back here by then, I'm gonna come look for you."

Derek glanced down at his watch. It was almost 7:30.

"Fine," was all Spencer said before he ended the call.

* * *

It was 8:29 and Derek was pacing by the front door, coat on and ready to go out looking for Spencer. He had had to fight down all his most natural instincts when he had told Spencer he would give him an hour to have time to himself. In actuality, all Derek had wanted to do was bark orders at him and tell him to come straight home. To Derek, Spencer was acting like a child. Refusing to _talk_ was childish. But, he also knew that, deep down, Spencer was feeling some kind of betrayal. Derek didn't necessarily think it was _justified_ , but he could at least 'understand' it. Especially following what Derek had thoughtlessly said in response to Spencer's questions.

In any case, Derek knew that trying to have that type of conversation with Spencer on the phone—especially with having no way of knowing where the kid was—might drive Spencer further away. Whether Derek wanted to have this 'talk' or not, what he wanted more than anything was for Spencer to be back in the safety of his home. He needed to _see_ him. Derek had spent the entire past hour just _worrying_. He hated how it felt like his heart was stuck in his throat every time he thought of Spencer just walking around out there alone. The kid just seemed like the type who would have a target on his back for anyone who would want to mess with him. And that thought had Derek's stomach twisting in knots. He wasn't an anxious person by nature—truthfully, he was pretty calm and collected in most situations—but something about Spencer always put him on edge. Sighing as he ran his hand over the back of his head, Derek could only think that he really hoped Spencer had listened to him when he told him to stay off the streets.

Glancing down at his watch and seeing that it was now 8:31, Derek had decided that he had waited long enough. Frowning, he placed his hand on the front door knob and when he pulled it open he was surprised at what he saw. Spencer was standing there, cheeks and ears reddened by the cold, but, really, looking no worse for wear, clutching a large disposable coffee cup in his hands. As soon as Spencer's eyes found his, the younger man looked away and walked through the front door. Derek stepped back and watched him silently. He couldn't deny that he was relieved. The relief had actually washed over him like a flood as soon as he saw the wavy-haired genius standing on his doorstep. But, soon the relief was replaced with annoyance. Spencer was sometimes downright infuriating.

Closing the door with a sigh, Derek began to remove his coat. He said nothing as he went through the process, but he knew Spencer was standing a few feet behind him, subtly shifting from foot to foot. He could tell the younger man was anxious. _Good_ , Derek thought to himself, _let him sweat a little._ _ **He**_ _wasn't the one losing his mind for the past hour worrying over him_. Taking a bit longer than he probably needed to, Derek finally turned around and pinned Spencer with a serious look.

"So, you ready to talk now?" he asked.

Spencer flinched a bit and frowned at him.

"I don't really _want_ to talk, but you seem like you intend to do this anyway. So I don't think I really have much choice," Spencer responded.

Derek sighed.

"So…you think you can accuse someone of a whole slew of things, storm out of the house in the middle of the night, leaving that person worried sick about you, and then not even give that person a chance to explain?" Derek asked with a raised eyebrow. "That's pretty fucking childish."

Spencer's face flushed with embarrassment and anger. He didn't like being chastised. Especially when he didn't think any of this was _his_ fault.

"What is there to _explain_ , Derek? You made it pretty obvious that whoever you're _fucking_ at the moment is meaningless to you. I don't think I really need to explain that that makes me feel like shit. And I don't necessarily want to _feel_ like shit right now, so forgive me if I don't think listening to anything you have to say is really gonna help me," Spencer spat.

Derek sighed as he rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

"Just take a seat, Spencer," Derek said as he motioned toward the couch.

When Spencer just stood there glaring at him, Derek sighed again, before adding a " _Please_?"

Spencer finally gave in and made his way over to the couch. He sat down with a huff and placed his coffee cup down on the table. Walking over, Derek sat down on the couch a bit more gently, and tried to put his thoughts together. From what Spencer had said, it was clear to Derek what he was feeling. Spencer's feelings were hurt—understandably so—and, while there was quite a list of things Derek wanted to talk about, Derek knew he had to address that first.

"Look… Spencer… What I said… Well, that was a pretty shitty thing to say, and I'm sorry I said that. I'm sorry it came _out_ that way. I didn't mean for you to think that that's how I felt about _you_ ," Derek began.

Spencer looked up at him, eyes shining with anger, but there was also a deep vulnerability there.

"Kid… This is all pretty new to me. I've never really been asked to _explain_ any past…'interactions' I've had with other people in my life. Yes, in general, I have sex for fun. It's no strings attached, and everyone's usually pretty on board with that. So, I didn't mean to say that sex is _meaningless_ to me, but just that… generally, the people who I sleep with are those that just want something temporary. A fling. They're not people who really intend to stick around," Derek tried to explain.

"So… is that what you've been thinking all this time when you've been having sex with me?" Spencer asked, as he looked down at his hands.

Derek hesitated. That _hadn't_ been what he had been thinking about when he had been with Spencer. Honestly, Derek felt like he hadn't thinking very much at all when he was with Spencer. And that was the _problem_. He had been happy and content, and somewhat purposefully avoiding trying to 'figure out' what their situation was. It didn't help that Spencer was supposed to be leaving in a few days. Knowing that Spencer's time with him _was_ temporary—whether Derek wanted it to be or not (something Derek wouldn't let himself think too hard on at the moment)—made it so that Derek found a number of excuses not to _think_ about the long-term. But it seemed like his pause had run on for too long, and Spencer had made his own conclusion in the silence.

"Fuck you, Derek. You're _such_ an asshole," Spencer said as he glared at him, voice trembling and eyes starting to glisten with unshed tears.

"Dammit Spencer, I didn't _say_ that that was how I thought about you!" Derek said, feeling somewhat attacked. He didn't like being backed in to a corner and this conversation was making him feel that way. Big time.

"You didn't _need_ to say that!" Spencer screamed at him. "It's obvious you're fumbling to think of something _nice_ to say, when all you really want to say is 'thanks for the fuck, but I'm not interested in anything else you have to offer!'"

That was like a slap in the face, and all Derek felt in that moment was anger. Maybe it was because that struck a little too close to home with how he _had_ been with every other relationship. And maybe it made him feel too much like an asshole because he couldn't decide what he wanted from Spencer and thus really _was_ floundering to answer him. But Derek didn't like being pushed, and what came out in those instances usually wasn't anything he was proud of.

"What do you _want_ from me? I told you…I told you from the beginning that if you wanted to do this, you weren't allowed to come to me later and complain about it. 'No regrets,' remember?" Derek snapped. "I can't suddenly be a different person because you've been here for a week and we've been fucking!"

Spencer's eyes widened and at that moment there was nothing he could've done to stop the tears from overflowing.

"Yeah, you know what? You're right. _I_ was stupid. I was stupid to think that any of this meant anything. Ok, fine. Don't worry about it. You don't need to worry about _anything_ having to do with me, anymore," Spencer said quickly, voice thick with emotion, as he pushed himself to his feet.

"Shit, kid, I didn't mean that-" Derek began as he rose to his feet and reached for Spencer, but Spencer slapped his hand away.

"I… I can't _believe_ you. I actually thought you were different. I thought you _cared_ about me, Derek," Spencer said with a sob.

Seeing Spencer that way was like a knife being dug into Derek's heart. But before he could say anything else, Spencer spun away from him and ran up the stairs. Soon after, Derek heard the guestroom door slam.

Grimacing, Derek sunk back down on to the couch. _That_ had blown up in his face. It hadn't gone anything like how he had planned. Spencer's words still echoed in his head, and every time the image of Spencer's hurt and betrayed face flashed across his mind's eye, he felt like he wanted to throw up.

Standing to his feet, Derek slowly made his way up the stairs. As he stopped in front of Spencer's door, he could hear the muffled sounds of the boy sobbing.

"Kid… Spencer, can we talk?" Derek asked as he wrapped his hand around the doorknob and tried to turn it. But it was locked.

"Go away!" he heard Spencer yell from behind the closed door.

"Spencer, _please_. I'm sorry. I want to say I'm sorry to you. Face to face. I need to apologize," Derek tried again, feeling completely torn up inside.

"I said go away, Derek! Just _go_ away!" Spencer screamed again.

Flinching, Derek removed his hand from the doorknob and took a step back. He couldn't force Spencer to talk to him right now. But maybe this was for the best. Derek knew he couldn't talk to Spencer before he knew what he wanted to _say_. He had to say something to make Spencer trust him again; to make him feel like he _hadn't_ made a mistake in trusting Derek. But, Derek didn't exactly know how to do that.

Sighing, Derek walked into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. Sinking down on to his mattress—and immediately feeling a sense of loss at the realization that Spencer wasn't in that bed with him—he dropped his head into his hands. He needed to figure this out, and _fast_. If he kept on the path he was on, he was going to hurt Spencer more than he already had and destroy any chances of ever fixing things between them.

Spencer had shown him so much trust in these last few days. He had opened up to him, relied on him, and shared things with him that he had never shared with anyone else. Then, with a sudden pang of regret, Derek remembered back to the words Spencer had breathlessly said to him all those times the boy had been lost in passion. Spencer might even actually _love_ him. And all Derek was doing was tearing his heart to shreds.

Groaning, Derek got to his feet and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He had come to a conclusion. If he didn't know what the hell he was doing, or how to fix a situation he had already royally fucked up, he knew one person who could _tell_ him what to do. It wasn't going to be easy—and he probably wouldn't like all the things he was going to hear—but at the end of the day, he knew it was going to be the right decision. He just hoped he was brave enough to do it.

* * *

Stepping out on to the balcony attached to his bedroom, Derek slid the door closed behind him. It was freezing out there, even in his thick sweater, but Derek didn't want to run the risk of Spencer overhearing what he was saying through his bedroom door. Derek glanced down at the phone in his hand and then, with a deep breath, he hit 'call' on the name that was glowing on his screen.

The phone rang two times before the person on the other end picked up.

"Ooh, Derek Morgan, to what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" Garcia answered with a smile in her voice.

Hearing the blonde's perky and bubbly tone, Derek almost lost all his resolve. He currently felt as low as he could feel, and he suddenly didn't want to bring Garcia down with any of this. But he knew he _had_ to do this. He would get nowhere unless he did. So, he steeled himself and cut straight to the point.

"Do you remember Spencer Reid?" he asked.

"Spencer...? Oh! That kid who was hookin' in that case we had a couple months ago in Vegas?" she asked with surprise.

"He wasn't _hookin_ ', Garcia," Derek snapped, with probably a little more venom than was necessary. "He was a dancer at a strip club!"

" _Okay_..." she said from across the line. "So…what about him? I thought that case was declared closed? Have there been some new developments? …Is everything alright with him?"

Hearing the rising panic in her voice, Derek quickly cleared up the situation.

"No, no. None of that. I just… well, we kept in touch after that case and he told me he was going to be in D.C. over Christmas break, and he's never been here before, so he asked if I would show him around, and I agreed," Derek blurted out in one big breath.

"Aww, chocolate muffin. That's so sweet of you. I do remember you guys spending a lot of time together and he definitely seemed to have taken quite a shining to you. It must be nice to have someone like that look up to you. He probably sees you as a studly, door-kickin-down, Unsub-shootin,'super-hero type, big-brother, huh?" she joked.

Derek cringed at the entire list of terms, but especially at "big brother." There was definitely nothing _brotherly_ about the relationship he had with Spencer Reid. Realizing that Garcia was getting the wrong idea—and it was no one's fault but his _own_ that she was getting that wrong idea—Derek decided he had to steer the conversation back to the relevant topic.

"Um… Garcia, babe. I need to tell you something and you have to promise me you're not going to hate me after this…" Derek said to her.

There was silence over the other end of the line.

"Garcia?" Derek asked, thinking the call had dropped.

"Derek," she said seriously (and it was not lost on him that she had called him _Derek_ in lieu of a slew of other available pet-names), "I _can't_ promise you something like that. What I _can_ promise you is that I'll listen to what you have to say and be fair. But I won't promise absolution before I've even heard what you have to say."

Feeling even shittier about what he was going to say, and the possibility of permanently damning himself in the eyes of Garcia, Derek sighed.

"I got you Baby Girl. I just… It's really important to me what you think of me and I don't know how to say this," he said hesitantly.

"Derek..." Garcia began again, "you're scaring me, hon. And I'm really confused. This conversation is all over the place. First you call me bringing up a random case from months ago and tell me you're hanging out with Spencer. And I don't know if you were just telling me something sweet to butter me up for whatever it is that's this awful thing you want to say. Or if the awful thing is somewhat _related_ to the Vegas case? I just don't know. So I think you're going to have to just come out and say it. Whatever it is."

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself for instant rejection, Derek said: "I slept with Spencer."

He purposefully kept it to the singular and past tense of the verb because right now he wasn't even sure how Garcia would react to the idea that it was a one-time lapse of judgment, not a _three_ time lapse (?) of judgment in as many days. However, Derek heard only silence on the other end of the line.

"... _Excuse_ me?" Garcia said after a moment.

Derek sighed, not sure if he could say it again, but understanding how Garcia could honestly have believed she must have heard him wrong. She probably _wished_ she heard him wrong. But Derek knew he had to man up and just say it.

"I… I said I slept with Spencer Reid," he forced out.

"You _what_?!" Garcia screamed from the other side of the phone. "D-Derek… he's… isn't he just a _kid_? And he's a _boy_. And he was the _victim_ in one of our past cases! What do you mean you _slept_ with him? You can't be serious!"

"First off, Garcia—and I'm not trying to make the situation any less serious by saying this-" he began before he was cut off by her hysterical voice again.

"There's _no_ way that this could ever be any _less_ serious, unless he drugged you, tied you down, and forced himself on you! And, even _if_ he did, it'd still be your damn fault because you're a fucking idiot!" Garcia yelled.

Derek could find little rationality in her statement so he sighed and continued what he was going to say.

"While… I won't say I'm proud of what I did, the things you said aren't necessarily true, Baby Girl. Spencer isn't a _kid-_ " he started, only to be cut off by Garcia again.

"The fuck he isn't, Derek Morgan! _I_ was in charge of compiling the files on that case and I remember quite clearly that _whatever_ age he was there was definitely a _teen_ on the end of it," she hissed from her side of the phone.

Cutting her off, Derek quickly blurted out, "He's 20."

"Since when, a _month_ ago?" came her caustic response.

There was a beat of silence before Derek admitted, "T-two months ago…"

Garcia screamed in frustration again, causing Derek to flinch and move the phone slightly away from his ear.

"What the fuck, Derek?" she asked, and he could hear what sounded like pain in her voice. "What. The. Actual. Fuck?"

Derek sighed again.

"Shit, Baby Girl, I _know_ I really messed up. Ok? I know it goes against protocol, even with the case being closed. I know that I should've resisted, even though I really like him. And, you don't have to tell me, I know he is fucking _young_. But it happened, and now we're here and… Shit! I just… I don't know what to do," Derek pleaded with her.

There was silence again, but before Derek could inquire as to whether she was still there (or, rather, still willing to talk to him), he heard her let out a heavy sigh of her own.

"What…do you _want_ to do, Derek? And I guess, a bigger question is what _is_ it that you guys have between you?" she asked.

"Um…" Derek began, still afraid to shine more light on the depth of their relationship.

"Well, it doesn't sound like this was a one-night stand or some drunken hook up. I'm guessing this started back when you were working the case in Vegas?" she asked plainly, not a hint of judgment in her voice.

"I _never_ touched him while we were working the case," Derek felt the need to defend himself, even though that wasn't entirely a true statement. "And…the sex, well that only happened here. Only a few days ago."

"So, other than being a huge fuckup and possibly doing some major damage to your professional reputation if anyone finds out, what's got you worried?" Garcia asked, pointedly.

Derek praised the Gods above that Garcia had seemed to put aside her personal displeasure with him and his actions to tackle the conversation objectively.

"Um… the problem is that… Well, _one_ of the problems, is that the kid's been saying he loves me," Derek murmured. "And… Baby Girl, I don't know what to do with _that_ …"

"Oh, Derek," Garcia whispered. And Derek flinched because _there_ —there the judgment was back. Before he could say anything, Garcia jumped in.

"Derek, he's _really_ young. And from what I read in his file, his life has been pretty damn fucked up. He doesn't know what he's doing. _You're_ supposed to be the adult here; the mature one who's supposed to know to keep your distance, so he doesn't get hurt," she said.

"I _know_ that. Garcia, it's not like I'm playing around here," Derek said angrily.

The silence on the line told him exactly what she thought of that. She _did_ think Derek was just playing with Spencer.

"Shit, Garcia!" Derek said, affronted. "I'm not such an asshole that I'd take someone's virginity and just kick him to the curb."

"Derek!" she gasped in shock. But before she could make him feel even shittier about what he had unwittingly divulged, he continued.

"Look, I really care about him. Seriously. And, I felt a connection to him even when we were back in Vegas. I knew he was really attached to me, and, just like you, I figured it was the whole "hero-worship" thing. That he had never met a good guy in his entire life—never met anyone who wasn't just there to use him—and so he latched on to the first sincere person he's ever known. And although I genuinely liked him, I told myself "Spencer's not for you. He'll find somebody else, and they'll be great together," Derek said, remembering how awful that realization had felt.

"So I tried to push him away. The kid was throwing himself at me every which way and, really, I _did_ refuse him. I _swear_. But, still, even with me trying to be the chivalrous type, I still felt really jealous with the idea of anyone else touching him, or him going back to work at that damn club. And I wanted a better life for him. I was able to give him that, but I found myself still thinking, "What if he meets someone back at school? What if he forgets about me?" But, even with that, I was willing to let him go, thinking it was what was best for him," he explained.

"Then, he calls me up out of the blue a few weeks ago and says he wants to visit and see the sights. Like it was all innocent. But as soon as he got here, he was after me _again_ and he explained to me that even with the time apart, and the chance to get back to a normal life, he _still_ wanted to be with me. And, I don't know. I gave in. Because _I_ wanted him. I wanted something for myself, for once, and the thought of Spencer just… he just _does_ something to me. Makes me feel things I've never felt. And I _know_ it was selfish, but the alternative to me was so much worse. To let him be with someone else… He's the sweetest little thing, and he makes me happy," Derek said, almost in a murmur.

"But I feel really shitty about it, and guilty as all hell, as I _know_ I should. I feel like I should've just said no, like you said—I'm the adult and I know what he's been through. Believe me, _I_ know. I know that when you've dealt with shit like that you either can't trust anybody, or you throw yourself at the first person willing to love you. But I would never intentionally hurt him, or take advantage of him—all I want to do is make him happy. But, Baby Girl, I just need someone to hear me and tell me if I'm crazy to think that maybe I can make this work, or if I need to just push him away… let him go?" Derek asked, his voice raw with emotion.

"Oh, Der-bear," Garcia said softly, and just hearing those words of endearment were enough to heal a few of the open wounds on Derek's heart. "You… I've never heard you talk about _anyone_ this way. Listen, if you love him, you love him."

"Whoa, Garcia, I never said-" Derek began but she stopped him.

"You don't _have_ to say it. To feel so fucked up in the head and to need me to give you _permission_ to be happy—and to even be willing to listen if I told you that you had to give him up—that tells me you care about him and that you'd let yourself be hurt just to save him. So, I don't care whether a lightbulb has gone off in that handsome head of yours, or not. To me that sounds like love. Ok?" she said plainly.

Derek said nothing in response.

"And… _fine_ , maybe it's not the most traditional or sparkly-clean origin story," she continued, undeterred by Derek's silence. "But I suppose you don't owe anyone an explanation for who you love and how that came about. It's not like there's anything wrong, or illegal, about a nine-year age difference. If he was 24 and you were 33… and, you know, if he wasn't the past victim in one of our cases, I don't think I'd even bat an eye at this. But, for right now, he's just brand new to all of this, you know? You just… have to be careful with him, Derek. Because you _have_ lived more, and experienced more, and, Lord knows you've got a trolley-full of your own epic baggage, but as long as you're willing to take your time with him, be fair to him, and not hold him back if anything changes later, then I think you can make this work. Ok, my love?"

Derek found himself nodding at the phone, unsure if he could talk now that this weight had been lifted off his chest.

"So… what exactly spurred this need to come to the confessional?" she asked after a while.

And Derek groaned, remembering with shame the words that had been shared between him and Spencer.

"A… a fight. That ended up in Spencer locking himself in his room, and probably crying himself to sleep," Derek admitted, .

Garcia gasped.

"What? What happened?" she asked.

"Ugh, the kid accidentally saw a text on my phone from Savannah-" he began.

" _Oh_ , that girl you met back when you were living at your old apartment?" Garcia asked, recognizing the name.

"Yeah… She moved about two years ago, but every once in a while when she's back in town visiting family and friends she hits me up. You know… for some company. It was a pretty good set up. There was never anything serious between us. But, since Spencer's been here, I forgot all about her. And then she texted me that she was in town and trying to hook up tonight…" Derek trailed off, letting Garcia fill in the blanks on her own.

"Aww, and poor Spencer saw that? Yikes," Garcia said.

"Yeah… I guess he thinks I'm involved with Savannah and… and keeping him on the _side_ ," Derek said, the words distasteful in his own mouth.

"Oh boy," Garcia sighed, sympathetically. "Well, did you tell him that's not true?"

Derek groaned.

"That's the problem. I was so caught up in my head, freaking out about what _Spencer_ meant to me, that I didn't answer him fast enough and he came to his own conclusions. And then we got heated and I said some things I really didn't mean. But he stormed away and locked the door before I could explain myself. He doesn't want to listen to me right now," Derek said sadly.

"Aww, baby-cakes, maybe you should just give him some time right now, ok? And talk in the morning? I'm sure he's hurting bad right now, but if he's that upset he's not going to be able to think rationally at the moment, anyway. Just make sure you explain yourself and that you're extra sweet to him tomorrow, ok?" Garcia offered.

"Yeah, Mama, I'll try that," Derek said despondently. It wasn't like he had much of a choice.

"Let me know how it goes, ok? If you need any help, or if you feel yourself getting stuck on this, just talk to me. I'm on your team, Derek, and I'll support you in anything you do. I want to see you happy," she said.

"Thanks, Penelope. Seriously," Derek said softly.

"Love you," she said.

"Love you more," he responded, before hanging up.

Sighing, Derek opened the balcony door and walked back into his room. Noticing the time, he realized almost an hour had passed since the fight with Spencer. Tentatively, he opened his bedroom door and poked his head out into the hallway. He could no longer hear Spencer's sobs through the door, and that gave him a huge sense of relief. Stepping out, he crossed the hall and tried the doorknob, finding that it was still locked. He frowned. Apparently he really _would_ have to wait until the morning.

Walking back to his room, Derek threw himself on top of the covers and inhaled deeply. His sheets smelled like Spencer. Turning to look to his side, Derek hated that the spot where Spencer had been sleeping for the last five nights was now cold and empty. This was the first night he would be sleeping without Spencer, and Derek found that he really didn't like that idea. He wanted to fix this, and fast. He could hardly wait for morning to come.

* * *

A/N: So much angst! I feel like the Angst Monster (like Cookie Monster? Lol); it just feeeeds me. I love raw emotion (or, let me just be honest, maybe I'm a sadist and like to put these two boys through the ringer?). Wahh! Well… you know, there are more chapters. So, chances are I'll consider fixing things between them ;p.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

A/N: Thanks to everyone who took the time to drop me a line and tell me what you thought of the last chapter! I seem to have given a lot of you quite a significant amount of stress, haha. So, my apologies! But, It's always so very nice to hear from you guys, and I always appreciate it. As always, special shout out to my beta, A_WarriorZ_Haven!

Well, where we pick up is the 'aftermath' of Derek & Spencer's little spat. I'm not going to be _too_ cruel to you guys, so I intend to give you loads of fan-service in this chapter. There's some warm and fluffies, some fun times with the BAU girls (:3), and _then_ a bucket of smut.. A bucket of unapologetic, somewhat kinky (?), smut. The Author Regrets Nothing. Haha.

Anyway, please enjoy and let me know what you think!

xoxo

* * *

When Derek awoke the next morning, he felt like he hadn't slept at all. But, glancing at the glowing display of his alarm clock, he could see that it was already a little past 8:30a.m. Sighing, he was immediately reminded about the events that had transpired the night before and _why_ , exactly, he felt so drained. Seeing Spencer that way—teary-eyed and heartbroken—had killed Derek. He had felt completely unsure of what to do, and that was something that happened so rarely to him. Derek was a man of action and purpose. He really hadn't felt 'helpless' since he was a kid. But _helpless_ was exactly what he had felt when Spencer had walked away from.

As he had lain in his bed last night, following the conversation with Garcia, Derek had let his thoughts bounce around inside his over-taxed mind. He thought about what he wanted to say to Spencer. And he thought about what he _should_ say to Spencer. And he even thought about whether or not Spencer would even give him the time of day and _listen_ to anything he had to say. All those thoughts had caused Derek's stomach to twist and turn. He hadn't realized it at the beginning, but the fact that he could barely sleep all throughout the night made it clear to him that the anxiety he felt regarding whether or not Spencer would _forgive_ him was what was causing him such distress. It was, really, the only thing that mattered.

Derek couldn't even really say he was annoyed anymore at Spencer's somewhat irrational reaction to having seen the text. Originally, _Derek_ had felt like the victim. Why was it that Spencer felt like he could drop into his life all of a sudden—confuse the hell out of him—and then start demanding Derek 'answer' for people in his past? And when Spencer had stormed out without giving Derek a sliver of a chance to _explain_ , all Derek could think was that the younger man was being _immature_. He had wanted to say those things, and more, to Spencer. But, when Spencer had accused Derek of _using_ him, well, Derek had admittedly felt guilty. He knew that 'using' Spencer wasn't what he was doing, but what he _was_ doing was purposefully leaving things undefined. And that had been dishonest of him. It made _sense_ that Spencer was confused. And so Derek had been made to feel contrite, and instead of owning up to that, he had lashed out.

But, now, all he felt was remorse. Remorse for having said something that hurt Spencer. And remorse for having caused the boy to look at him like he had last night. As if Derek had slapped him in the face. Derek hadn't meant the things that he had said. And he needed Spencer to _know_ that.

Sitting up with a sigh, Derek ran a weary hand over his face. As he pushed his legs over the edge of the bed, he tried to think of what he would do to convince Spencer to talk to him if the boy refused to come out of his room this morning. Frowning as he imagined that scenario, Derek got to his feet and walked into the bathroom. He quickly splashed cold water on his face and proceeded to brush his teeth. He probably could have really used a cup of strong coffee, but the gnawing feeling in his stomach made it pretty clear to him that he probably wouldn't be able to get anything down until he made things right with Spencer. First thing's first.

Drying his face with a towel, Derek turned away from the bathroom mirror and took a deep breath. Having calmed himself, he walked to his door and out into the hallway. Feeling as if he already knew what would happen, Derek tried the handle of Spencer's door and was surprised to find that the handle actually turned under his hand. It wasn't locked. Although grateful, Derek wasn't so conceited that he'd think Spencer left the door unlocked for _him_. The most-likely scenario was that Spencer had probably gotten up during the night and had forgotten to relock the door upon his return to his room. In any case, Derek was going to take advantage of the oversight. At least he wouldn't have to spend half the day sitting outside the door pleading with Spencer to open it.

Pushing the door open slowly, to make as little noise as possible, Derek peeked around the door and paused when his eyes landed on Spencer. The room was still mostly dark, with slivers of bright morning light peeking in through the curtains and falling on the bed. And Spencer was lying there, curled up on his side, looking small in the bed. Feeling a familiar pang of guilt upon seeing Spencer's furrowed brow and puffy eyes, Derek stepped further into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He watched the gentle rise and fall of Spencer's chest for a moment, and debated whether the younger man would appreciate him waking him up. But, Derek knew he couldn't wait. He didn't know what he would do if he had to stew in his own guilt for very much longer.

Reaching out, Derek gently shook Spencer's shoulder. Spencer let out a soft sound, something akin to a whimper, as he fidgeted under Derek's touch. Frowning, Derek shook him again, wondering if maybe he was having a nightmare. Even with the persistent jostling, Spencer continued to resist waking again, his brows furrowing in displeasure. But then, with one more shake from Derek, Spencer's eyes shot open and he looked up at Derek with wide eyes. For a moment, something like relief, or even happiness, flitted across his large, hazel eyes. But then, as if Spencer suddenly remembered what had transpired the night before, he flinched and shook Derek's hand off.

Derek didn't want to admit to himself how much that reaction had _stung_ , but he also realized that he really wasn't _owed_ anything but Spencer's contempt at the current moment. Derek pulled his hand back, which had been left awkwardly suspended after Spencer had shaken him off, and looked at the younger man apologetically.

"Hey, kid…" Derek began, as he forced a smile. "Think we can talk now?"

Spencer scooted up into a sitting position, back pressed against the pillows and headboard, and continued to stare at Derek with a look of distrust and confusion. As Derek studied the boy's features, he could only imagine Spencer was looking at him like that because he was still upset with him. But there was more to Spencer's look than just that.

In Spencer's mind, all he could think about was how he was surprised that Derek was even _there_ at that moment. Spencer had had a rough night, going from white-hot anger, to an all-consuming achy, sense of hurt, and lastly settling on downright despair. It had been like an emotional rollercoaster. And when he had finally exhausted himself from crying enough to fall asleep, he had woken up in the middle of the night, haunted by yet another nightmare. When he had realized _what_ had caused him to wake up so suddenly last night, he had cried tears of frustration. One reason was because he had thought he was _done_ with those nightmares after having talked out his fears with Derek. But, the second reason was because of _what_ he had dreamed.

The dream had started out quite familiarly—with Moore tying Spencer up and whispering to him all the things he would do to him in his underground prison It had been less terrifying this time because Spencer felt grounded in knowing the _extent_ of what Moore could actually do to him. But, then the dream had shifted. It turned into another dream Spencer had had often. One in which he was being held and tortured, but at the last minute—before Moore could end his life—he heard the voices of the BAU bursting into the dark room and yelling for Moore to 'freeze.' Derek's voice had always been the one leading that charge. But, last night, for the first time ever, Spencer had dreamed about Derek _not_ coming to rescue him. At the last moment—the moment where Spencer knew he could always look toward the door and see it splintering, as Derek kicked his way through, followed by Emily and JJ, and Agents Hotchner and Rossi—no one had come. Derek had _left_ him. He had abandoned him to Moore. It was the first time where there wasn't a 'happy ending' to that dream. And Spencer had woken up thinking the reason why Derek hadn't saved him was because Derek didn't _want_ him. Derek didn't _care_.

Shaking his head to rid it of those painful thoughts, Spencer brought his hands up to run them over his face, across his sleep-laden eyes, and through his tousled hair. He couldn't understand what Derek wanted. Hadn't he said all he needed to last night? Frowning at Derek, as he tried his best not to give in to the tears that started to prickle behind his eyes again, Spencer levelled a cold stare on the older man.

"How'd you get in here?" Spencer asked.

"You left the door unlocked," Derek responded simply.

"I know it's your house and all, but didn't you think it might have been a little presumptuous to just _let_ yourself in?" Spencer asked, undisguised anger bleeding into his voice. But, Spencer was okay with that. He'd take anger any day over the tremble he knew would've been immediately obvious if he had given in to his feelings of hurt.

Derek let out a sound of frustration as he leaned over and flicked the bedside table lamp on. Spencer blinked in surprise as his eyes were suddenly accosted by the brighter light.

"Kid… I couldn't just let things lie the way they were. The way things ended last night… that… well, it should never have gone down that way. And I need to apologize. So, whether you want to hear me or not—whether you want to _acknowledge_ me or not—I'm gonna say what I have to say," Derek said seriously.

Spencer crossed his arms over his chest as he continued to glare at him. But he remained silent, and Derek realized that this was all he would be getting from Spencer for the moment.

"Spencer… Listen to me very carefully: I would _never_ 'use' you. What we've been doing… This was never _about_ that. I wouldn't do that to you. Do you hear me? I wouldn't have done _any_ of what we did together if I didn't care about you," Derek said as he tried to catch Spencer's eyes.

Spencer looked away, as he felt his face start to burn and his chest tighten.

"You can 'care' about me, and still not want anything to do with me. I _know_ you're not some monster, Derek. I don't think you'd make a habit of stringing people along, but…" Spencer trailed off, afraid that his voice would break, giving away how emotionally vulnerable this conversation was making him.

"Spencer… I hope… I hope you don't really think I was 'stringing you along,'" Derek said, as his brows furrowed, and he felt that pang of remorse return. It hurt to think that Spencer thought that was what he had wanted from him. But more than anything, it hurt Derek to think that _Spencer_ had been made to feel that way about himself.

"Well, you said it yourself. You… you can't be expected to 'change' in one week. You only do 'temporary.' And that…that's okay. I mean, if that was really what you wanted, I would've… I would've been okay with it," Spencer forced himself to say, as he tried to hold back his tears—tried to make himself _believe_ the words he was saying. "I just… I wish you wouldn't have been so _nice_. You know? So I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up."

Derek looked at Spencer silently as he watched fat tears start to form in Spencer's eyes, and then, even though it was obvious the younger man was trying to fight them, the tears sprang free and began to roll down Spencer's red cheeks. Having had enough, Derek scooted closer to Spencer and enveloped him in his arms.

"Spencer, Spencer," Derek said in a soothing voice as he began to rub Spencer's back. "Why do you _think_ that? Kid, I said I wouldn't use you. I would never want to do that to you. And don't say you would've been okay with that kind of a set up. It's obvious you wouldn't be. And you shouldn't _have_ to be. Why do you seriously think that's what I want from you? That I would _treat_ you that way?"

"Well, what am I _supposed_ to think?" Spencer asked as he continued to sob, not even bothering to try to break out of Derek's strong embrace. "I… I told you I liked you. That I've liked you for more than half a _year_. And you… you never said anything _back_."

Derek froze, stunned by the trembling boy's words. Spencer was right. In the whirlwind of everything that had passed between them during the time Spencer had been in D.C., Derek had never fully acknowledged Spencer's feelings. He knew of them; that was for sure. And, oh, was he ever more aware of them _now_ that Spencer had let the 'L-word' slip out on more than one occasion. And while Derek would never say he was anywhere near saying something like that (and he wasn't even quite sure _Spencer_ had meant it when he had said it), he now knew he had made the mistake of thinking that Spencer would _understand_ that Derek had feelings too. But, Spencer was new to this. Spencer was someone who needed reassurance and he needed validation. He needed to _hear_ it, or he would always be uncertain.

"Look, Spencer, I _like_ you, ok? I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. Of _course_ I like you… Kid, I never would've let things with us get so… _intimate_ if I didn't have feelings for you," Derek said as he felt Spencer's body go still in his arms, tense with anticipation. Spencer's head was still bowed, tucked against Derek's chest, but Derek knew he was listening.

"I felt that way back in Vegas, and I tried to fight against it. I hated that it got me so fucked up in the head that I felt like I could barely do my job because I was worrying about you all the time. And when I got back, _all_ I could do was think about you. Every day, for weeks. It got to the point where one of my more obnoxiously astute colleagues even called me out on it. So, yeah, I have some pretty strong 'feelings.' And… Shit, I'm sorry for not admitting that to you before. I'm sorry that I left you so confused," Derek said softly.

Derek sighed as he pulled back from Spencer so he could see his face. Spencer was looking up at him with wide, wet eyes, as if he could barely believe the words he was hearing. Derek gave him a sad smile and wiped a few stray tears from Spencer's cheek with his thumb.

"Do you get what I'm saying, kid? Do you _believe_ me?" Derek asked as he held Spencer's gaze.

Spencer nodded silently, unable to speak because if felt like his chest was going to burst. Derek could tell that what he had said had made Spencer happy. The kid was looking at him like there were stars floating around his head. But, Derek also knew that he had to give Spencer a dose of reality. Derek knew that he still had some things he needed to figure out before he took any big steps (or _bigger_ steps) with Spencer. And Spencer might not necessarily like hearing that. But, Derek knew he had to continue to be honest—because being afraid to say the difficult things was what had gotten them here in the first place—and be prepared for whether or not Spencer would be frustrated with him after hearing what he had to say next.

Derek closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He rubbed Spencer's shoulders, before opening his eyes and looking at him seriously.

"But, Spencer… Whether or not that means that we can… that _this_ can be a 'relationship'…I can't make any promise to you like that, ok? I… I wasn't prepared for this… for _any_ of this to happen. It's like you just fell in my lap, and it brought back all the same feelings and issues I was struggling with back in Vegas. Yes, Spencer, I like you a lot. But, there're still lots of things I need to work out when it comes to what I think you need and what I can give you. And, I think _you_ need to think about some things too. I don't want us to jump into anything too fast, just because we've been having such a good time together. The reason we got into it last night like we did is because we need to _trust_ each other more, you know? And trust comes with _time_ ," Derek said.

Spencer looked at him with a mixture of uncertainty and hope. It was clear that Spencer _wanted_ to believe him, but seemed hesitant to do so. He was probably afraid to get hurt again.

"I know it might be hard, but can you give me that, kid? A little more time? Trust that I _care_ about you—that right now there's _no one_ else but you—but give me time to figure out if I can be everything you want and need me to be, okay?" Derek asked.

Taking a deep breath, Spencer nodded as he felt tears coming to his eyes again. What Derek had said hadn't been a _promise_ , per se, but it had been enough to assuage many of his concerns. Although it had been hard for Spencer to come right out and admit that he had felt insecure because Derek had never acknowledged his feelings toward him, it had made him happy to hear Derek finally speak so frankly about his own feelings. And, although Derek seemed anxious about the idea of having a 'relationship,' it sounded like he would give it some serious thought. Spencer had no guarantees about what that would mean for 'them,' or the outcome of their last few days together, but it helped Spencer believe that he wasn't an 'afterthought'—that he wasn't something Derek would just toss to the side when he grew tired of him.

Spencer knew that these fears weren't necessarily _because_ of Derek. He hated that he projected on to Derek all the insecurities he had been carrying on his shoulders for the past few years. But Spencer had a hard time trusting people. He had learned to be wary; to protect his heart by not opening it up to anyone. And it was hard to shake such a deeply-ingrained mindset. What he was doing now, with Derek, was one of the most reckless and impulsive things he had ever done in his short life.

And Spencer was taking a **huge** gamble on Derek **,** hoping that the older man would prove him _wrong_ —that some people really _could_ be trusted. Spencer wanted to believe that Derek could help rewrite—maybe even _erase_ —all the pain and darkness from his past. But, Spencer was starting to learn that with trust came the unavoidable risk of opening oneself up to the possibility of being hurt more. He had had a first-hand experience of that last night. But Spencer believed Derek when he said he cared about him—had deep _feelings_ for him—and Spencer was going to try put his faith in the belief that Derek would never make him feel like that ever again.

"Kid, you gotta say something," Derek said, sounding concerned as he looked over Spencer's teary eyes.

"I'm fine, Derek. A-And I'm okay with that. I… I can _try_ that. And… um… thank you for telling me how you feel," Spencer said as he finally gifted Derek with a smile, blushing prettily.

Derek let out a sigh of relief when he realized that Spencer wasn't upset anymore, and that he seemed to be amenable to giving Derek some time to get his thoughts in order.

"But… um… while you're 'figuring' things out, does that mean that we can't…well, 'you know' anymore?" Spencer asked with an even deeper blush.

Derek's eyebrows shot up and he couldn't contain his laugh.

"Well, no, we don't have to stop doing _that_ ," Derek said as he smiled. "And, you know what? You can just move all your stuff over into my room. I don't think you'll be needing to use this room any more for the rest of your stay, right?"

Spencer smiled and nodded his head, happy to know he'd be spending tonight sleeping in Derek's arms.

* * *

Following the morning's events, which had started out tense but ultimately ended on a positive note (to Derek's immense relief), Derek had decided it would be good for them to spend the day out of the house. He hadn't brought the topic back up with Spencer, but Derek still felt guilty about their fight and hoped to use their outing to continue to stay in the younger man's good graces. Although Spencer seemed satisfied with the way things had resolved earlier that morning, Derek still felt badly for having caused him to have been so upset last night. So, he resolved to do whatever he could to see Spencer's bright smile. And maybe it was also a way to push the images of a teary-eyed, distraught-looking Spencer out of his mind's eye.

They had started off the day with a huge breakfast at Derek's favorite downtown diner. Spencer helped himself to a short stack of pancakes topped with raspberries and peaches, alongside bacon, eggs and hash browns. He had enthusiastically taken advantage of the 'unlimited' coffee, and had grinned at Derek almost nonstop throughout their meal. Derek hadn't neglected the many opportunities to flirt and had loved it every time Spencer's face blossomed into a blush. At Spencer's request, they had then taken a stroll around the shops downtown, which consisted of a mix of chain and independently-owned stores. Derek discovered that Spencer had an affinity for old things and was touched by how he fawned over antiques. Derek had also had to sit through more than one lengthy explanation about the origin of a given item—he particularly remembered Spencer's ramble about the history of Faberge eggs—but, all in all, he found Spencer's excitement sweet.

On their way back home, they stopped into the Barnes & Noble when Spencer noted a poster advertising a book-signing by an author he liked. When they walked through the entrance, Spencer coincidentally ran into an old man he recognized who was on his way out. When he explained who the man was, Derek remembered Spencer telling him that he had met that man early on in his stay. When Spencer made the introductions between him and the elderly man—Leonard as Derek had learned was his name—Derek noted that Spencer blushed as he explained that Derek was a friend he was visiting. Derek politely shook Leonard's hand, although he thought it was strange that the man was looking back and forth between him and Spencer and smiling. And when Leonard finally left, he winked at Derek, which left Derek feeling completely confused. Chalking it up to the man being just as eccentric as Spencer could sometimes be, Derek had brushed the strange encounter off.

When they returned back to Derek's house, after a light lunch, they were both ready to collapse on the couch. Stepping through the doorway, Derek began pulling off his coat and scarf. As he hung them up on the hooks behind the door, he heard a distinct dinging from his phone and let out a sound of frustration.

"You've been doing that all day," Spencer noted with a laugh as he also hung up his coat.

Derek couldn't help but laugh back, but his smile seemed a bit tighter.

" _Yeah_ ," Derek admitted, with a drawn-out sigh, as he retrieved his phone from his pocket. "It's just that I think I already know what this text is going to say."

Spencer gave him a confused look as he toed off his Converses. Derek sighed again and slung an arm around Spencer's shoulder leading him into the living room and depositing him on the couch.

"So… I've been fielding texts from Prentiss left and right. She was able to wring it out of me that you're visiting. And, then she told _JJ_ so… I kind of had to agree to dinner plans with them," Derek said as he rubbed his head sheepishly.

Spencer looked at him in surprise but there was a smile on his face.

"Really?" he asked excitedly. "I would love to see them. I didn't really get to properly thank anybody for what you all did for me."

Derek smiled at hearing that.

"Okay, great," he said. "I didn't think you'd actually be up for it, but if you are, they want to know if tonight's good. Well… actually, I don't think they're giving us much _choice_ , but I figured I'd ask anyway."

Spencer laughed upon hearing that.

"Sure," he said. "Whether we had a choice or not, I'd still say yes."

Derek smiled back, poised to — _finally_ —respond to Emily with an answer, but he then remembered something and his smile faltered slightly.

"Ah… but, there's going to be another person there that you haven't met before: my girl Garcia. She was the technical analyst helping us during the case. You two have never spoken, but she was very involved and she'd really like to meet you too," Derek said, hoping that Spencer wouldn't ask too many questions.

Derek had no idea _when_ Garcia had had a chance to exchange 'intel' (as she liked to call it) with JJ and Emily, but apparently the BAU's resident 'Queen of All Knowledge' hadn't even needed a full 24 hours before she had been filled in on the plans. The first text of the day from Emily had specified dinner with only herself and JJ, but by the third text, Emily had thrown in ' _Oh, and Garcia's coming too, but she says you probably shouldn't be surprised_.' Obviously the team wasn't working on a case. If not for that, Derek had no idea how the girls had found the time to talk to each other about this. _And_ harass him via text. Coupled with the six prior texts from Emily, he had received two texts from JJ (mostly concerned with what kind of restaurant Spencer would like) and one from Garcia (asking what Spencer's favorite color was). It had been somewhat exhausting.

"Your technical analyst wants to meet me?" Spencer asked, sounding a bit confused.

"Yeah," Derek said flushing a bit, and not wanting to tell the boy exactly _why_ Garcia wanted to meet him.

"She's like my best friend," he offered as explanation instead.

Derek watched as Spencer's eyes widened and his cheeks reddened slightly.

"Oh… okay. W-well sure, that'd be fine too," Spencer murmured.

Derek wondered to himself why Spencer seemed so shy all of a sudden.

What was going through Spencer's mind, however, was that he was being introduced to someone from Derek's 'life.' Granted, she was a coworker, and had technically been working on the case when they were in Vegas, but it just felt nice that he was being introduced to someone Derek considered his 'best friend.' It made something squeeze pleasantly inside Spencer's chest. But, he was also nervous. What if she didn't like him? Or didn't think he was good enough for Derek? Spencer knew that there was no way he was being introduced as someone… 'special' to Derek, this early on, but it still made him feel good that he could meet other people in Derek's life. It made this… whatever 'this' was that they were doing, feel more real.

Derek was looking at him with concern and Spencer gave him a small smile to reassure him.

"Really, I'm excited to go. Don't worry about me," Spencer said.

"Okay, kid. But if you want to back out last minute, just let me know," Derek said.

"It kind of sounds like _you_ want an excuse to back out," Spencer said, teasingly.

Derek shook his head and laughed.

"You got me there. I love those girls, but I don't necessarily want to spend a whole night with them picking on me. I'd rather let _you_ do that," he said with a grin.

Spencer rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to enable you in hiding from your friends," Spencer said.

"Kid, believe me, you might think they're sweet now, but when they get their claws in you, you better watch out. Those girls can be vicious," Derek teased.

"Well maybe you give them _reasons_ to be that way," Spencer said back, a teasing glint in his eye. "I'm sure I won't run into any of that kind of trouble."

"Oh, we'll see, kid, we'll see. You might be eating those words when 7:00 rolls around," Derek said with a wink.

* * *

It was minutes to seven when Derek and Spencer arrived at the agreed-upon address. Almost immediately after they walked through the doors of the chic restaurant, they were descended upon by two blondes and a brunette. Spencer could barely get a word in edgewise as JJ and Emily started to usher him towards the table, while exclaiming how happy they were to see him. As Spencer glanced over his shoulder to make sure Derek was still with them, it didn't go unnoticed by him how the curvy, bespectacled blonde in impressive heels linked her arm through Derek's and leaned in close as she started to walk with them. But before Spencer could think too much about it, he was being pulled into a booth with JJ and Emily on either side of him. Across from them, Derek, and, who Spencer could only imagine was 'Garcia,' slid into the opposite side of the booth.

There was a bustle of commotion as further greetings and introductions were exchanged. The only people who didn't know each other were Spencer and Garcia, and when the bubbly blonde reached across the table to shake his hand after saying 'But feel free to call me Pen, Penny, or Goddess of All Things Knowable,' Spencer had felt at a loss for what to say. Seeing that he was flabbergasted, Garcia happily hummed to herself as she reached into her brightly colored purse and pulled out a small purple teddy bear, with a silver ribbon tied into a bow on its neck. The three women at the table had exclaimed to themselves how coincidental it was that the bear was dressed in almost the same colors as Spencer—who was wearing a dark plum button-down and silver tie. Garcia had then smiled and winked at him as he accepted the gift, while saying, 'Welcome to the BAU family, young sir!' Spencer had blushed and stuttered out a surprised 'Thank you.'

Soon after that, the waitress came and handed out the menus as she described the specials. Drinks and appetizers were ordered and once the waitress came back with them, conversation picked up at the table.

"So, Spencer, you've been here for a couple of days already without us knowing," Emily said as she threw a pointed, albeit playful, look in Derek's direction. "What've you been up to so far?"

Spencer looked up from his glass of water to see that Garcia was practically leaning on Derek's shoulder, as Derek nodded along to whatever she was saying as he sipped on his wine. That had been what the atmosphere had been like for the past fifteen minutes or so. JJ and Emily had been absorbed with talking to Spencer and getting updates on his new life, while Garcia and Derek had been across the table playfully whispering in each other's ears.

Spencer felt a tick of annoyance. He didn't know if it was merely because it seemed like Garcia and Derek were in their own little world, tuning out the rest of the conversation. Or, if it was because Garcia was just so damn _close_. Whatever it was, it bugged him. So Spencer decided to give Derek a little reason to pay him more attention.

"Oh, well… You, know. The usual. Seeing the sights of the city, eating good food, and...doing a _lot_ of different things for the first time," Spencer said, innocently.

Spencer was pleased as he saw Derek flinch and choke on the sip he had just taken, as the man's dark eyes flashed up to give Spencer a warning look. Apparently Derek had been paying the conversation more attention than Spencer had first thought. And as Derek began to cough, Emily and JJ worriedly asked him if he was ok, as Spencer was forced to drop his eyes back down to the table to stop himself from laughing. But then a question from across the table caused Spencer to stiffen.

"Oh, is that so? Things like _what_?" Garcia asked, in an equally innocent-sounding voice.

And when Spencer looked up at her, she was giving him what seemed to be a mischievous look, red lips spread wide in a smirk, as she played with her straw. Spencer immediately felt his face heat up. It was like Garcia was looking at him like she knew _exactly_ what he had been saying when he had been trying to tease Derek. But, there's no way she _could_ know that, right? They had talked about it before they left for dinner, and Derek had said he wasn't going to tell his coworkers about their relationship at the moment. And, besides, even if he had _(which, he wouldn't_ , Spencer told himself), why would he tell her _that_?

Feeling JJ and Emily looking at him with interest, now that Derek's coughs had died down, Spencer felt even his ears start to burn under all the attention.

"Um… well, I tried ice-skating. I'd never done that before," Spencer muttered as he looked down at his napkin.

That seemed to get JJ and Emily excited again, as they started to coo over how much they wished they had had a chance to see that. Emily started to ask Derek what rink he had taken Spencer to, and JJ started to tell Spencer about how she used to skate, somewhat competitively, back in her hometown during the winters when soccer-season was over. Listening somewhat distractedly, Spencer chanced looking up to see if Garcia was still looking at him and he had to force himself not to react when he saw that she was.

Garcia's brown eyes were still focused on him, twinkling behind her glasses, as she smiled at him. The smile was kind. Not teasing, or mocking, in any way. Spencer didn't quite know what to make of it. He could tell that Garcia was a boisterous, warm-hearted person. But he also could tell that she knew things about Derek that Spencer just _didn't_. They had a level of closeness that Spencer wondered if he would ever have with the older man. But Spencer told himself that, just like Derek said, those things would take _time_.

Dropping his eyes back down, Spencer tried to pay attention to what JJ and Emily were saying to him. Suddenly, he felt a soft caress against his shin that felt like it came from directly across from him, and he looked up quickly, surprised. His eyes met with Derek's twinkling dark brown ones as Derek smiled at him and winked covertly. Spencer flushed and gave a shy smile back, feeling the tension drain from his body. Derek always seemed to be able to make him relax.

The food came quickly after that, and Spencer found himself settling comfortably into the ease of the company around him and the pleasant atmosphere. It felt nice to be out with these people, surrounded by big smiles, warm eyes and lots of laughter. He was more convinced than ever that he had made the right choice by deciding to take a leap of faith and visit Derek. Everything was falling into place, and Spencer couldn't be happier.

* * *

When they returned from dinner, Spencer was stretching tiredly. The dinner had been nice and he had been happy to see the girls (and to meet Derek's eccentric friend 'Penelope,'), but all the talking had been somewhat exhausting. Spencer had always been quiet and kept to himself. Even with having returned back to college, he had few people he actually talked to. Unlike someone who was entering as a freshman, he had come in just to finish up a degree and thus it was even more unlikely to meet people at this stage. So he tended to spend most of his time on his own, studying.

Being with Derek now—and sharing his day-to-day experiences with him—was refreshing, and it didn't feel stifling. While he really liked the girls, he didn't quite know how to navigate their excited, and often rapid-paced, conversations. On more than one occasion during the dinner, one of the women would say something and the other two would start speaking excitedly, going off on a tangent that Spencer just couldn't follow. But those moments were also nice because, once the girls were distracted, Spencer would feel Derek take his hand under the table, and they would hold hands like that, reveling in their little secret.

As Spencer followed Derek up the stairs to the bedroom, he blushed and smiled to himself as he remembered back to those clandestine moments in the restaurant. It was shocking to him how Derek could be an imposing, alpha-male type at the same time that he could just be downright sweet and attentive. And whenever Derek's warm eyes landed on him, it always made Spencer's stomach do flips. Lost in his thoughts, Spencer followed Derek into the room. Smiling to himself, he looked at his bag tucked in the corner. Derek had helped him move it over earlier in the afternoon, and Spencer couldn't quite put his finger on why it made him so happy to see it there.

Shaking his head to clear it of the silly thoughts, Spencer leaned down and began to rifle through his suitcase to find some comfortable clothes to change in to as he vaguely heard the sound of Derek stepping into the bathroom behind him. On the drive home, Derek had suggested they relax in front of the TV and watch a movie. Spencer had wholeheartedly agreed, realizing he could use some quiet time after feeling like his senses had been overloaded by the excited, yet well-meaning, ladies they had spent the evening with. Pulling out some lounge pants and a t-shirt, Spencer got back to his feet and began changing his clothes.

He wasn't aware of it when Derek stepped back out of the bathroom, nor was he aware of how Derek was watching him appreciatively as he began to disrobe. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, and behind the unaware boy, Derek grinned to himself as Spencer undid the buckle on his belt and slipped off his slacks. He bit his lip as Spencer bent over, watching the fabric of his tight black boxer-briefs stretch over his plump rear-end. His eyes trailed down from the enticing curves to Spencer's long, creamy legs, reminding him of how wonderful it felt to have those limbs wrapped around him. Even though they had been making love relatively frequently over the last couple of days, Derek knew Spencer was still very shy and generally didn't want too much attention on his naked body. So it was a pleasant change of pace for Derek to watch Spencer with his guard down and he found it extremely sexy.

Pausing briefly as he straightened up, and feeling eyes on him, Spencer glanced at Derek over his shoulder and could see the older man staring appreciatively at his ass He flushed slightly, but couldn't help but feel simultaneously flattered.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," Spencer suggested with a raised eyebrow, causing Derek to glance up. The older man gave him a Cheshire Cat-like smile. He obviously didn't care that he had been caught.

"Well, I've always been one to appreciate fine art when I see it," Derek said with a purr causing Spencer's blush to darken.

"Stop being stupid," he said, brushing off the obvious flattery as he turned back around and started to loosen his tie.

"I'm not," Derek said as he got to his feet and came up behind Spencer, molding his body to the younger man's back.

"Seeing you like this reminds me of all those times I watched you in the club with those tiny scraps of clothing and all the dirty thoughts I had in my head," Derek said, running his hands down Spencer's front.

Spencer eyes widened in surprise at Derek's words and he turned to look at him over his shoulder.

"Really?" he asked softly, eyes showing his obvious disbelief.

"Of course," Derek breathed as he placed a kiss against Spencer's neck, causing the boy to sigh softly.

"I was always jealous that other people got to see you like that. I always kind of wondered how you'd look… you know, dancing," Derek admitted.

He felt Spencer stiffen in his arms, and he immediately wanted to kick himself for bringing up anything having to do with _Mon Petit Chien_. It wasn't like Spencer had _liked_ what he had had to do while he was working there, and reminding him about that part of his life was probably painful and humiliating.

"Um… you wanted me to d-dance for you?" Spencer asked, eyes averted.

"Kid," Derek said as he stepped around to Spencer's front, to get a better look at him. "That was stupid of me. I'm sorry if I said something that made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to bring up anything bad…"

But just Spencer looked at him with a perplexed expression.

"But... you _didn't_ bring up anything 'bad.' I'm just, um… kind of surprised. I didn't really think you liked anything about that… part of me," he said shyly.

Derek's eyes widened.

"I… I wouldn't mind dancing if, you know… that's something you'd like…" Spencer said.

"But… you hated the club so much," Derek said, a bit breathlessly. He wanted Spencer to be comfortable—that was always going to be his first priority—but he couldn't ignore the fact that he was starting to get turned on by where this conversation was heading.

Spencer rubbed his arm as he looked down at his feet, cheeks slightly pink.

"Um, it's true I hated it at the club but… it's ok to do it for _you_. It'd be different if I was doing it for a bunch of strangers. But I wouldn't feel bad putting on a 'show' just for you since… I only belong to you," Spencer said glancing up through his eyelashes.

Derek almost groaned as he felt a jolt of arousal rocket down to his groin. He couldn't believe he was going to get a _private_ show… And hearing Spencer say that he _belonged_ to him? Well, it was almost like that had triggered something primal within him.

"O-okay," Derek stuttered, feeling his mouth had gone dry. "That's great, Spencer. _So_ good."

Spencer looked at him and laughed shyly.

"You're really excited, huh?" he said as he glanced down quickly to the front of Derek's pants.

Derek laughed.

"I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been thinking about this for a long time," Derek said with a wink.

Spencer blushed.

"Well, you could've told me _sooner_ ," Spencer said, pouting.

"I think I would've felt like a creep if I had asked you any sooner. But it's good to know it doesn't make you uncomfortable," Derek said as he leaned in for a quick peck against Spencer's lips.

Spencer could only sigh in response at Derek's train of thought. It was sweet that Derek was that concerned for him, but he didn't _have_ to be. Derek always told Spencer to ask for what he wanted, and Spencer wished Derek would take his own advice too.

"Ok… well, you wanna do it _now_?" Spencer asked as he glanced around the bedroom.

"Kid, I kinda don't think I could wait for another time," Derek said as he reached behind Spencer and grabbed at his ass.

Spencer blushed and his jaw dropped in surprise.

"Ugh! Don't do that when I'm dancing," he warned in a playful voice.

"No promises, baby," Derek said with a grin.

"Well, just as a disclaimer, I'm not sure how exciting it'll be for you… you know, I don't have those types of clothes or anything like that anymore," Spencer said with a slight frown.

"You think I got this hot and bothered thinking about that stuff? You're already doing it for me just in what you're wearing right now. _This_ is what I want to see," Derek said seductively, as he let his hands trail teasingly over Spencer's hips and down the naked skin of his thighs.

Spencer blushed hotly and pushed his hands against Derek's chest, the older man's proximity making him a bit giddy.

"Fine, fine. I need to set up, so… just wait for me in the living room, ok?" Spencer asked.

Derek grinned at him and winked.

"My pleasure, Pretty Boy," he said as he made his way to the door, throwing another wink at Spencer over his shoulder.

Once the door closed behind him, Spencer shook his head fondly, smiling to himself. He was happy he could do something for Derek, and he was starting to get a little excited himself.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Derek's ears perked up as he heard the bedroom door creak open.

"O-ok!" Spencer's voice traveled down from upstairs. "You can come up!"

Derek almost shot to his feet, dropping the sports magazine he had been thumbing through, and hurried up the stairs to his room.

When Derek got to the door, he could see that the bright lights had been turned off in exchange for soft lamplight. Stepping through the doorway, his eyes fell on Spencer who was standing in the middle of the room, at the foot of the bed. He was still wearing what Derek had left him in—his dark-plum button down shirt, with a silver tie and his black boxer-briefs. The only difference was that he had straightened the tie and removed his mismatched socks. Derek couldn't help but appreciate the contrast of Spencer's completely clothed, and proper-looking, top half against the nakedness of his bottom half. He loved Spencer's long and toned legs. He also liked that Spencer's shirt was long enough to almost completely cover his bottom, so that he was teased by glimpses of the swell of Spencer's plump rear-end as the boy walked.

Derek grinned at Spencer, showing his clear appreciation.

Saying nothing else, but with an obvious tinge of color to his cheeks, Spencer took Derek by his hands and pulled him into the room, guiding him until he was sitting on the chair Spencer had positioned in front of the bed. Giving Derek one last shy look, Spencer walked over to Derek's sound system, where his iPod was docked, and began fidgeting with the device. Derek's ears perked up when he heard the chords to a familiar song start to play. ' _Often,' by the Weeknd_ , he thought to himself as an excited grin spread across his lips. Obviously, he knew and appreciated the song. It was selected from _his_ playlist.

Derek watched with fascination as the lilting and undulating tones, followed by a chorus of 'Ooh yeah's started to play and Spencer stood with his back still facing him. Slowly, however, Spencer started to rock his hips, and Derek could not pull his eyes away from the sway of the boy's round bottom. Spencer then turned, and Derek's breath caught in his throat as he saw the half-lidded eyes and seductively parted lips. Spencer looked like he was in the _zone_. And Derek could only lick his lips in anticipation as Spencer slowly walked towards him, each step and roll of his hips perfectly in time with the deep bass beats of the song.

As the chorus started and Spencer reached him, he leaned down, grabbing Derek's hands and lifting them until they were positioned on his waist, letting Derek hold on as he swayed to the sultry beat. He then placed his hands on Derek's shoulders and smoothly slid himself into his lap, placing his knees on either side of Derek's thighs and sitting up. Derek groaned as Spencer threw his head back and began to dance atop him, bottom only inches from his lap but not close enough to touch, and his hands tightened on the boy's narrow hips. Feeling the man's tight grip, Spencer smirked at him slyly and then leaned in, brushing his lips lightly against Derek's. When Derek tried to lean forward to capture Spencer's lips, the boy pulled back, opting instead to drop down into Derek's lap, grinding his bottom hard against Derek's already obvious erection. Derek hissed in appreciation, his head already cloudy from the sultry music and the tempting body in his arms.

Teasing him again, Spencer pushed himself back until he was sitting on Derek's thighs. He brought his slender fingers up to the knot of his silver tie and began to undo it as he continued to grind himself against Derek. From the flushed look on Spencer's face and the way the boy was rubbing against his thigh, Derek could tell that Spencer was already getting off on this, even though he was denying the same to _Derek_. It seemed like Spencer's form of a strip-tease included playing a game of keep-away. Derek's eyes watched carefully as Spencer slipped the tie off and, reached up, placing it around Derek's neck. As Spencer tugged on the tie around Derek's neck, while nibbling on his bottom lip and giving Derek a playful look, Derek almost growled at him. But when Derek tried to reach out and touch Spencer, the boy was already pulling back, a coy smile on his lips.

Still swaying his hips to the beat, Spencer slid himself off of Derek's lap. He then turned around, so that his back was facing Derek, and began rubbing his hands up his sides and chest, pulling his shirt up slightly and teasing Derek with the small strip of skin that was revealed above the waistband of his briefs. Spencer then slowly backed up, placing his hands on Derek's knees, pushing them apart. He then slid himself between Derek's legs, pushing his ass out and grinding his bottom up against the front of Derek's pants, feeling the man's hard cock pressing against him. Spencer couldn't help but let out a moan in response as he brought his hands up and locked them behind Derek's neck as he continued to sway, grinding himself against the older man.

Derek's hands shot out to Spencer's hips, to hold the boy's firm ass against him, giving him the much needed contact he had been denied.

"Oh _God_ , Pretty Boy," Derek breathed into Spencer's ear.

But then Spencer was pulling away _again_ , and Derek almost wanted to grab on to him and tell him to STOP teasing. He felt like he was going to go insane if he couldn't touch him. But he remembered he had _asked_ for a show—and, oh, what a show it was. It was so arousing to watch Spencer seem so in control of his sexuality. The way he was moving gave off an air of confidence and boldness that Derek wasn't used to seeing in the younger man. And _Spencer_ seemed to be enjoying it as well, as evidenced by the tenting in the front of his briefs. So Derek forced himself to be patient. But he hoped Spencer was prepared for what he was going to do to him once this little show was over.

With the deep beats of the music pulsing through the room, Derek almost growled as he watched Spencer dance in front of him, about a foot out of his reach, with his eyes closed and tossing his head sensually from side to side. He licked his lips as Spencer ran his palms up his chest and began to unbutton his dark-purple shirt. Slowly, slowly, being led by the music, Spencer undid each button, revealing more and more of his creamy chest to Derek's eyes. And once he reached his belly-button, having completed all the buttons, Spencer slowly slid the shirt off, one shoulder at a time, fingers trailing teasingly over the exposed skin. Spencer sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as his nails dragged over his nipples, and Derek found himself fisting his hands in the fabric of his trousers to hold himself back from just getting up and grabbing the boy.

Tossing the bundled-up shirt on to the bed, Spencer stalked towards Derek again. But Derek was surprised when the boy dropped to his knees, hands on Derek's thighs as he rocked his body between his legs for a moment. He was looking up at Derek through his eyelashes, face so close to his straining erection that Derek just wanted to grab Spencer's hair and pull his zipper down. But when he reached out to stroke Spencer's face, the boy licked his lips and smirked at him before pulling away.

All Derek could do was watch, with a tortured expression on his face, as Spencer backed away on his knees. He then sucked in a breath of shock as Spencer turned over on to his hands and knees, placing his elbows down and arching his back deliciously so that his thighs were spread and his plump bottom was high in the air. Timing his movements to the song's heavy beats, Spencer flexed his hips to the left and right, firm globes jiggling beneath the tight fabric of his briefs. As the chorus echoed the words 'Often, Often, Girl, I do this Often,' and Spencer began thrusting his hips quicker, Derek could just imagine himself behind the boy, fucking him.

Feeling at his limit, Derek ran his hand down the front of his pants and quickly unzipped, palming his cock through his underwear. Hearing the sound of the zipper, Spencer glanced over his shoulder. He held his bottom lip between his teeth and, then, as he swiveled his hips, he released it, licking his lips as he looked seductively at Derek. He was rewarded with a long groan from the older man. And turning so that Derek couldn't see him smiling, Spencer pushed himself up to a kneeling position, sitting with his thighs wide apart and his hands positioned on his knees. He arched, popping his back with each down-beat. He knew Derek liked his ass and he intended to make the man appreciate it even more.

As the song trailed off with the last refrain of "ooh yeah," and Spencer practically grinding against the floor, Derek had had enough.

"Come here, Pretty Boy," he said, voice sounding gruff, even to his own ears. "Now."

Spencer looked at Derek over his shoulder and his heart pounded within his chest, seeing the smoldering look Derek was giving him. Derek's eyes were so dark with lust he looked like an animal. Licking his lips, Spencer turned on his knees and began crawling to Derek.

When he reached Derek's thighs, he placed his hands on the man's knees, intending to rise to his feet, but Derek grabbed the wrist of the hand that was poised on his right knee. And Spencer watched with hooded eyes as, with his free hand, Derek reached into his open trousers and pulled out his cock.

Spencer couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips, and trembled as he felt Derek's thighs tensing underneath his hands in response to the sounds he was making. He licked his lips, and Derek groaned, pumping his cock a few times.

"You know what to do, Pretty Boy," Derek breathed.

Not needing to be told twice, Spencer immediately leaned forward, pressing his lips to the flushed head of Derek's cock in a soft kiss. Derek's hiss of pleasure was like music to Spencer's ears, and he smiled as he let his tongue peek out from between his lips, lightly teasing the tip of Derek's cock. Derek groaned loudly in appreciation, and then Spencer was opening his mouth, wide, as he let the thick flesh slide into his mouth. Words of praise spilled copiously from Derek's lips as he ran his hand through Spencer's soft, wavy hair watching with heavy-lidded eyes as Spencer sucked and licked at him like his life depended on it. And when Derek felt himself bump into the back of Spencer's throat, he couldn't help the reflexive jerk of his hips, wanting to bury himself into that tight, tight heat. Spencer pulled back slightly, moaning around the fullness in his mouth, and placed his hands on Derek's hips to steady him.

But, before he could envelope Derek in his mouth again, Spencer felt Derek's hand in his hair, pulling him back and off his cock.

"Get on the bed," Derek said, voice gruff and deep.

Spencer blinked up at him, wincing slightly at the tight hold in his hair, but feeling thrilled by it all the same. His heart was hammering against his chest and he felt like he could hear his blood rushing in his ears. He was so hard that he could barely think straight, so all he could do was nod in assent to Derek's instructions as he scrambled to his feet, knees feeling weak with anticipation.

Spencer stumbled as he crossed the short distance to the bed and as he let himself fall back on to the covers, he watched with hooded eyes as Derek stood from the chair, hands making quick work of his dress-shirt. He was then kicking off his pants and his underwear, and soon, Spencer was staring up at Derek in all his naked, finely-sculpted glory. Spencer's eyes unabashedly trailed down to the impressive length standing proudly between Derek's legs and he let out a whimper of anticipation.

"On your stomach," Derek said, as he climbed on the bed.

Spencer quickly rolled himself over and he felt Derek's hands on his hips, pulling him on to his hands and knees, almost immediately. And within seconds, Spencer's underwear was being tugged down and Derek was telling him to spread his legs. Spencer did so, restricted slightly by the underwear bunched around his knees, and let out a gasp when he felt Derek spread his cheeks. He heard the sound of something being squeezed out of a bottle, and didn't have much time to wonder about when Derek had retrieved the lube, before he felt slick fingers pressing up against his hole.

Spencer let out a gasp as he felt Derek's thick finger push smoothly inside of him, hard and deep. He moaned, pushing back against it, as Derek quickly began working him open.

"More?" Derek asked, voice close to Spencer's ear. And all Spencer could do was nod enthusiastically.

Derek chuckled, a low, deep sound that tickled the skin of Spencer's ear, before he pushed two fingers deep inside of him. As if Derek had memorized his body, his fingers teasingly brushed against the spot inside that made Spencer see stars. And then, just like that, Spencer was down on his elbows, trying to press his face into the pillows in an attempt to mask his cries. He was embarrassed by the needy sounds that were coming from his mouth, but he couldn't do anything to stop them.

Then Spencer felt Derek's hand running through his hair and he let out a small gasp as the grip on his locks tightened and his head was pulled up from the pillow.

"What'd I tell you about letting me hear you?" Derek asked, before letting go of his hair, the smirk evident in his voice even though Spencer couldn't see him.

Spencer let out a whine of protest, and Derek 'tsk'ed' as he slowly pulled his fingers from Spencer's clenching hole.

"I guess you'll have to learn, huh, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked.

"Come _on_ , Derek," Spencer gasped out, hating the feeling of being left empty and wanting. "Just give it to me!"

"Alright, since you're _asking_ for it," Derek said, chuckling. "Better hold on Pretty Boy."

And hold on Spencer did, as Derek proceeded to push in, in one long, hard thrust, filling him up completely.

" _Shit_ ," Spencer hissed, as his hands fisted in the sheets beneath him. Derek was going so _deep_.

Derek almost groaned as he held on tight to Spencer's hips and began to set a rough, fast pace. Moaning loudly, Spencer trembled beneath Derek's hands. This was the first time Derek had been so passionate; so… _rough_. Spencer felt a mix of apprehension and excitement, and it was sending blood rushing to his cock and causing his heart to hammer in his chest, making him dizzy. And then Derek hit that spot inside of him and Spencer groaned loudly, only for Derek to slam against it again.

"Oh my God! Oh _God_!" Spencer wailed into the pillow.

And as if wanting to hear more of Spencer's praise, Derek continued to hit that spot with such precision, and such force, that it was turning Spencer's mind to mush.

"You like that?" Derek asked, voice breathy with his exertion.

But instead of answering, Spencer pressed his face back into the pillow, trying to keep quiet. He could feel that he was almost on the edge of coming, and he was trying his best to hold on. Derek had never made him come this fast, but with his almost brutal pace and battering of his prostate, Spencer knew he would be done-for within a matter of minutes.

Then Derek grabbed his hair, pulling tightly, lifting his head up off the pillow again, and Spencer let out a throaty moan. The tension on his hair was slightly painful, but also arousing, sending little jolts of electricity down his spine that spread out like warm tremors along his body. It added to the onslaught of stimuli and Spencer couldn't help reaching down between his legs to stroke at his painfully-hard cock.

Derek felt Spencer's insides clamp down on him as soon as he fisted his hand in the boy's wavy brown locks, and he let out a groan of appreciation. Apparently _somebody_ liked getting their hair pulled.

"Mmm, you like that Pretty Boy?" he asked, breathlessly, as he picked up the pace.

Derek had loved Spencer's reaction to the rough fucking, but his breathy moans and whimpers, the way his body flushed and trembled beneath him, and the clenching of the tight heat clamped down around him had Derek close to the edge as well.

Giving in to what his body wanted, with one hand still gripping Spencer's hair and the other taking a firm hold of the plump flesh of Spencer's backside, Derek continued to pump into him with long, deep strokes, angling his thrusts to hit Spencer just where he knew the boy wanted it. Spencer was almost unintelligible by that point, but Derek could tell by the gaspy breaths and deep moans, along with the vice-like tightness as Spencer's body convulsed around him, the exact moment that Spencer had come. Derek tried to fight against his body's need to climax as well, but Spencer's body was like some sweetly-calling Siren, and with one more thrust, and a loud grunt, Derek was spilling himself inside of Spencer.

Derek collapsed on top of him, sweaty bodies sliding atop the other. He allowed himself three deep breaths to get his breathing back on track before he forced himself to pull out and roll off of Spencer. Spencer moaned slightly as he forced himself to turn over on to his back. Both men's panted-breaths filled the quiet room.

"Kid... you ok?" Derek asked, voice still sounding slightly winded.

Derek glanced over to Spencer when he heard no response. Spencer was lying next to him, chest still rapidly rising and falling, as he stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Spencer had barely processed Derek's words. All he could think about was that he had never come that hard before and it literally felt like his mind had been _blown_. He was having trouble forming words.

"Spencer?" Derek asked as he rolled to his side and pushed himself up on to his elbow.

Looking down at Spencer, hair sticking to his sweaty, flushed face, he couldn't tell if the boy was satisfied or in shock.

"You… good?" Derek asked as he rubbed Spencer's shoulder gently, starting to feel a bit concerned.

Spencer finally got his bearings about him and turned his head in Derek's direction, giving him a wide, lazy-eyed smile. His breathing was still rapid, but he tried his best to formulate a logical sentence.

"I... whoa. I can't even… Just…. _Wow_ ," Spencer said, cheeks glowing with a blush.

Derek chuckled as he flopped back down to the mattress and threw an arm around Spencer, dragging the sweaty boy over to him until he was nestled against his chest.

"Well, that's a rave review if I ever heard one," Derek said.

Spencer laughed a bit as he nudged Derek's shoulder.

"No one likes a narcissist," Spencer teased.

"Well, it's a rave review for you too, Pretty Boy," Derek said as he rolled over and began to lick and nibble at Spencer's ear. "Seeing you like that… dancing for me, mmm, I almost couldn't control myself."

"Ah," Spencer moaned softly at Derek's attentions.

"Th-that's what you call 'control'?" he managed to ask.

He shivered as he heard Derek's throaty chuckle in his ear.

"Watch it, before I have to give you another example of what you do to me," Derek murmured into his ear, as his hand began to stroke up and down the heated skin of Spencer's side.

Spencer felt warmth pooling in his stomach at Derek's promising words.

"Sounds good, but how about a little nap first, huh?" he asked, with a laugh.

* * *

A/N: Hope you guys liked that! This chapter was… well, a _lot_ of things. Derek and Spencer still have some things to sort out, but I feel like they're in a somewhat better place than they were at the beginning of the story. At least the boys are 'talking.' As for the smut (or the prelude to the smut, I guess), I usually steer very far away from writing something like this, but seeing as how in Version 1.0 Spencer was a 'dancer' but never once _danced_ , I figured it'd be nice to pay homage to those 'skills' in a way that Spencer could enjoy (and not in a way that made him feel icky). With that said, it was a lot harder to write that strip-tease scene than I imagined. It was fun all in all and I think it came out rather sexy ;p. But please do let me know your thoughts!

Also, sorry for the lengthy time between updates. However, I have been a _busy_ bee in the meantime, so I can now tell you all that I have officially finished the story (aka all the chapters are written)! They are currently with my beta for review, but I predict that updates will come a _lot_ faster now :). Fingers crossed!

Xoxo


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

A/N: As always, thanks for the sweet and supportive comments/reviews, for subscribing to my story, and all the ways you guys express that you're enjoying it! It means so much to me :D.

And, so, we are back into the cursory-case phase! (And, the story is also nearing its natural end!) I really enjoyed writing this chapter. But, it may also be because it's so fun to have all the team members at play. They're fun to write. It's also fun to have Derek and Spencer play 'keep away' (in re: to 'who knows about the secret relationship') at the same time too ;p. Stress for these boys. It's _always_ stress. Anywho, since the 'team' will feature in this chapter, you will be treated to a few POV changes! Yay!

This chapter, unfortunately, is not beta-ed (which basically means I didn't get a chance to bounce my ideas off of anyone and ask 'does this sound crazy?), so please forgive any uncharacteristic craziness :).

xoxo

* * *

Aaron Hotchner groggily awoke to the sound of his landline phone ringing on the nightstand. He blearily reached over to fondly stroke his wife's back, as he did every morning, when he remembered that Haley was out of town. It was her sister's birthday and the two women had decided to celebrate it by spending a few days on the sunny beaches of Cabo San Lucas instead of having to battle Virginia's dreary winter. Aaron hadn't been able to get the time off to go with them, but he also hadn't begrudged Haley the time away. Things had been tense at home lately and the fact that he could rarely get time off (or, more accurately, was rarely _willing_ to take time off) didn't exactly make things any easier. Haley would be back the day before Christmas Eve and Aaron already had a number of wrapped presents waiting to welcome her home—a few of them specifically from Haley's favorite jewelry store—hoping they would make her smile.

And Aaron also hoped that coming back rested and relaxed would get Haley back into a more lenient mindset, so that they could finally 'talk.' Talk about all the things that had been problematic lately. And maybe he would even talk about what Haley had asked him to give serious thought to. She wanted a _baby._ The thought of that still made Aaron nervous. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ a child with Haley, he just wasn't sure what kind of father _he_ would be. He couldn't help thinking about his own father and wondering (fearing) if history would repeat itself. He just wanted to be the best father he could be to whatever life he brought into the world, and, now, after having been given some time to really let that sink in, Aaron had decided that he probably _could_ take that leap with Haley. There was no one else in the world he would want to do that with. And, having realized that, he now could hardly wait for her to get back.

Sighing, as his thoughts were pulled back to the incessantly-ringing phone that had awakened him in the first place, he reached out to retrieve it from its dock, wondering what time it was. The room was still dark, and while he usually got up at dawn to start preparing to head into the office, he wasn't usually up _this_ early. Frowning as he looked down at the number on the display—unknown—Aaron engaged the call and brought the phone up to his ear.

"Hotchners," he said, voice gruff with sleep.

"Agent Hotchner," an unknown male voice purred. "Am I waking you up too early? I thought it'd be fun if we could play together, and I knew I'd catch you at home. Your schedule is a bit monotonous. It's not good to be so predictable, you know?"

"Who is this?" Aaron asked, the thick blanket of sleep quickly evaporating from his mind, as he sat up and flicked the bedside table lamp on.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out. I never thought it'd be _so_ easy to get into the FBI's files. Talk about a breach of national security, huh? But, then again, there isn't much that could stop me if I _really_ wanted to know something anyway. Getting information is kind of my _thing._ So I hear your team is one of the best in the country—David, and Emily, and Derek, and Jennifer—oh, but she likes to go by JJ doesn't she, 'Hotch?' So, can the prestigious 'BAU' solve this case? Can you find _me_?" the man asked with a laugh.

"What… _Who_ is this?" Aaron asked again, anger flooding into his voice.

"I already _told_ you. Find me. Figure it out. If not, there's no telling what I'll do. I know all about you. Everything about each and every _one_ of you. I've seen all your files. I know what you do. And I know I'm smarter than you. And you'll never catch me. But, hey, it'll be fun to _try_ right?" the man asked, snickering again.

And then the line went dead.

Aaron stared at his phone in shock. He didn't know what to make of that call. It wasn't that it was uncommon that someone wanted to 'challenge' the FBI—or any other branch of the federal law enforcement system—and play a game of cat and mouse. These individuals were usually low-level megalomaniac types who 'thought' they were crafty criminals but who were, in actuality, a little too big for their britches. They usually would be caught within an hour of contacting the FBI with some type of harebrained threat.

However, Aaron had never been contacted _at home_ by an Unsub who wanted to 'play' before. It was alarming, in itself, that the caller had been able to do that. And it wasn't lost on Aaron that the man had been able to so easily list out the names of his team. He even knew how JJ liked to be addressed informally, as opposed to _Jennifer_ , which was the name she would give out professionally. It was obvious that this caller knew _personal_ information about them, as he had insinuated, and Aaron wondered what the man had accessed to know things like that. It wasn't like Aaron's personnel files listed that his friends and teammates called him 'Hotch,' or that JJ's specified that she didn't like being called 'Jennifer.' And it was even more problematic that the man had stated he had been through all their case files. If that was true, they were facing a serious breach of security. There was no telling what confidential information he could release regarding pending cases. Something like that could lead to numerous mistrials or dropped charges. Criminals could go _free_.

Face darkening in a deep frown, Aaron reached on to his nightstand and retrieved his cellphone, dropping the landline phone on to the bed next to him. He began scrolling through his contacts, searching for Garcia so that he could call her to see if she had noticed anything strange on her end, when his phone began to ring in his hand. Seeing Garcia's name show up, he couldn't help how his frown deepened in concern. It was 5:35 in the morning. Garcia calling him at this time could _never_ be a good thing.

"Hotchner," he said as he answered.

"Sir, we have a _big_ problem," Garcia said, not even wasting time to give a cheery greeting. "Something… someone's _hacked_ our system. Well, just specifically the BAU's—it's not _system-wide._ At least not _yet_. But I was just contacted by our tech guys telling me that they were alerted that a virus has been downloaded into my system. I just… I'm _freaking_ out. I don't even know how that's possible. They told me it's not anything that'll wipe my system, but it seems like there's a message or something. Addressed to _us._ They didn't want to open it because of the security protocols installed on my system, so I'm getting ready to come in but I don't know what to do if it's some crazy hacker-Unsub and, Sir, I need you to be there, because if this guy has destroyed my system I swear to God I'll-"

"Okay, Garcia. Calm down," Aaron said as he cut her off, and pushed himself out of bed, easily switching into his role as 'Unit Chief.'

"I just received a call and I think it was from whoever decided to hack your system. I'm not really sure what this guy wants, but whatever it is, he's hacked into federally-protected and classified files and there's no telling what he'll do with that information. As far as I'm concerned, this is our newest case. I'm on my way over, so just meet me at the Bureau. And I'll call JJ so she can tell everyone to come in," he said.

" _Everyone_?" Garcia asked. "Derek too? Even though he's on vacation?"

"I don't know what this Unsub knows. But he was able to find my personal number and call me at home. He said he has been through all of our files, so it's likely he knows where everyone lives. I don't know exactly what his end-game is, but I'd rather have you all at the Bureau than somewhere out in public where he can easily pick us off," he said sternly.

Garcia gasped over the line.

"Oh my God. Oh my _God_ ," she began saying, clearly imagining the worst-case scenario.

"Garcia," Aaron cut in again. "Don't worry. Just get ready to go to work. I'll see you in half an hour."

"Y-yes sir," Garcia said, but the panic and uncertainty remained clear in her voice.

* * *

When Derek was awakened by the sound of his phone ringing, he could only smile as he stretched languidly. Although no one liked to be woken up by the irritating sound of a cellphone's ringtone, Derek was in a good mood. He could feel the warm, solid weight of Spencer pressed up against him under the sheets, and his mind immediately returned to their passionate activities of last night. They had gone at it two more times—once in the shower—and needless to say, they were both exhausted, but pleasantly so. Yawning, Derek shifted a bit to pull his arm out from Spencer's head, numb from Spencer having used it as a pillow for most of the night. Reaching over to his bedside table, Derek quickly answered the call before it had a chance to rouse Spencer as well.

"Hey, what's up," he said quietly, seeing that the call was from JJ.

"Hey, Derek…" JJ began, voice sounding somewhat hesitant. "Sorry to wake you so early, but we have a case. Seems to be something with a hacker. Usually you could probably skip something like this, what with you being on vacation and all. But Hotch wants everyone to come in since he doesn't know what information this guy has on us. He doesn't think it's safe for anyone to remain at home."

"Oh, okay," Derek said as his brows furrowed, concerned over the note of tension in JJ's voice.

"Um, Derek… So, I didn't know _Hotch_ didn't know Spencer was visiting," JJ blurted out, and Derek felt his eyebrows rise. "So, when he told me you needed to come in for safety reasons, I immediately asked him if that meant you should bring Spencer in _too_ , and… whoa, it became immediately apparent to me that he did NOT know."

Derek felt his heart hammer against his ribcage. It wasn't like the fact that he had a guest was problematic; his personal life was _personal._ But needless to say, his boss, who hadn't been told that that guest was a past victim in one of their cases, probably hadn't liked being the last one to be informed of this. And Derek was sure Aaron Hotchner would definitely have a couple thoughts on the matter.

Sensing the tension in Derek's silence, JJ immediately made an effort to apologize.

"Derek, I'm really sorry I let the cat out of the bag, but you didn't think to tell _Hotch_? I mean, I think it's totally fine that you and Spencer are friends—I think we _all_ are absolutely cool with it—but Hotch is someone who probably would've wanted to know that you guys were still close after the case," she explained.

"No, no, JJ. Don't worry. This isn't your fault," Derek immediately said, feeling badly that the woman was panicking on his behalf; it was his mess to deal with, not _hers_. "You're right; I should've let Hotch know. I mean, it's not like I have to run it by him when I have _guests_ , but, I concede that, yeah, Spencer's special. I-I mean a special _circumstance_."

Derek cringed immediately after he said it, but JJ seemed as if she hadn't even picked up on it.

"Well, Hotch didn't say anything to me, really, other than just asking how long Spencer's been here. And, well, I guess it's pretty obvious after what I said that Spencer's staying _with_ you, so he did say it'd be best if you just brought him with you when you come in. He can stay in one of the conference rooms. It's just safer for everyone to be in the Bureau," she explained.

Listening to her, Derek felt Spencer start to stir next to him, murmuring sleepily and he immediately reached out to press his fingers against Spencer's lips. He did _not_ want to have to answer JJ's questions about why Spencer's voice was coming over the phone when it was obvious Derek had just woken up. He didn't need his teammate putting two and two together and realizing that he had woken up _next_ to Spencer. But Spencer's brows just furrowed in confusion as he blinked sleepily up at Derek, looking like a question was already poised on his lips. Derek quickly motioned for him to 'shh' and pointed at the phone. He then mouthed 'JJ' and Spencer blushed. Ducking his head back down, so that only his eyes peeked over the covers, Spencer was now very much awake but he stayed silent as he listened to the rest of Derek's call.

"So, any news on what this case is about?" Derek asked, trying to get the conversation topic off of Spencer. "Is this something dangerous? Has this guy threatened anything?"

JJ sighed.

"Well, I don't really know the whole story. Apparently he hacked into Garcia's system—and believe me, your 'Baby Girl' is practically a wreck over this—and he left a message of some sort. But Hotch said he didn't want anyone to touch it until he arrived, just in case it's a self-destructing message or something like that. So, all I could really gather is that this guy knows everything about us—and I mean _everything_ , even down to where we all live and our personal phone numbers. Garcia says that if this guy is a master-hacker-type he's probably not looking for blood; he's looking for glory and the FBI is pretty up there on the list of big targets to hit. So Hotch says it's likely he's non-violent, but we don't want to take any chances. In any case, it's _not_ good to have this guy running wild through our confidential case files," she explained.

Derek nodded along to what the blonde woman was saying.

"Yeah, I agree," he said. "We need to find this guy, and quick. I'll let Spencer know and then we'll get ready as fast as we can. We'll see you soon, JJ."

As Derek ended the call, he couldn't help but notice how Spencer's attention had picked up when he mentioned they'd _both_ be seeing JJ soon. Looking at Derek with confusion, Spencer waited to be filled in.

"Kid, we have a case involving some type of hacker and it seems this Unsub is threatening us with all our personal information. He knows where we live and Hotch doesn't want us staying home if this guy is still out there. We need to go in," Derek explained as he started pushing back the covers.

" _We_?" Spencer asked as he sat up. "As in… _I'm_ going with you to the FBI Headquarters?"

Derek looked over his shoulder at the wide-eyed boy, amused that Spencer's reaction was half fear and half anticipation, as if he was excited about getting the opportunity to see the Bureau up close and personal.

"Yeah. If this guy knows where I live, and we don't know where _he_ is, I don't want you staying home alone by yourself, in case he decides to pay a visit. And I don't want you 'exploring' the city by yourself either, as I know you're going to suggest," Derek said as he gave him a pointed look, which Spencer returned with an unimpressed look of his own. "Until we know more about this guy and what he wants, it's better for you to be with us at the Bureau. Where I can keep an eye on you."

Spencer looked at Derek incredulously, wondering if the older man knew how possessive he sounded. At this point, Spencer had learned that it was futile to try to talk reason into Derek when he was being 'protective,' so all Spencer could do was roll his eyes and try to hold back a laugh. But, then something else dawned on him and his eyes widened slightly.

"But wait… um… What about your boss…? Isn't it going to be weird for him to see me here?" Spencer asked, concern evident on his face.

Derek felt himself grimace at that. Yeah. _Hotch_. That was a problem in and of itself. Derek knew that his supervisor was not going to be happy to know that Derek had become _so_ close with Spencer that, on top of keeping in touch with him post-Vegas, he had also invited the kid to spend his winter break at his _house_. Derek had had a hard enough time with Hotch getting on his case during their time in Vegas when Hotch had said, in no uncertain terms, that he thought Derek was getting so involved with Spencer that it was compromising his ability to do his job properly—that he couldn't be objective. Derek really hadn't liked hearing _that_. And he especially hadn't liked knowing that he had caused Hotch's faith in him to waiver. Ultimately, he had proven Hotch wrong, but he didn't know what Hotch would think now that Spencer's name was being mentioned again, all these months later.

And Derek knew that, if Hotch did take issue—which, after knowing that man for so many years, Derek knew he _would_ take issue—it wouldn't be because Derek had 'connected' with a victim. In their line of work it made sense for them to feel a sense of connection with past people they had helped. They worked in law enforcement; if you didn't take enjoyment out of helping people, why do that job? It was commonplace, and generally acceptable, to receive thank-you cards or other simple expressions of gratitude from past victims. And every agent had two or three cases that struck such a chord with them, that that agent would 'check-in' with the victim every once in a while to see how things were. Even David Rossi carried around a number of mementos in his wallet to remind him of past cases. No, Hotch would take issue because it was _specifically_ Spencer who Derek had kept in contact with, and because of all the concerns Hotch had had when they had been working the case in Vegas.

Calling a victim to ask how they were doing, or checking in with someone about a cold case, was about reminding a victim that you didn't forget about them and what they had been through—that you were committed to making sure something like this didn't happen again. But, that was different from becoming so involved with a past victim that you ended up inviting them to spend two weeks at your house. _That_ definitely blurred professional lines. Derek knew he was lucky that, at this stage, Hotch had no reason to believe it was anything _more_ than an innocent—albeit close—friendship. But, if Hotch knew that Derek wasn't just 'spending time' with Spencer—that he was, in fact, _sleeping_ with him—well, that wouldn't be an issue of 'blurred' professional lines. That would be a case of professional lines having been downright _obliterated_. And Derek just couldn't afford for Hotch to catch wind of any of that. He just didn't know what he'd say. Derek wasn't sure he could give Spencer up, if it came down to that, but he didn't want to lose his job either.

Frowning, Derek shook his head and locked eyes with Spencer.

"Let's not worry about Hotch right now. You let me handle any questions he has, okay? And for the time being, we'll operate under the assumption that he thinks we're just friends," Derek said seriously.

Spencer licked his dry lips and nodded his head. He was nervous. During the case, while Hotch hadn't spoken much to him, Spencer had also felt a sense of confidence in knowing that Hotch was on his 'side'—that he was working hard to solve the case because he didn't want to see Spencer get hurt. It was clear that the older man, as a function of his position of leadership, wanted to keep his distance, but Spencer had put all his trust in Hotch's decisions, believing that he would never be in danger if Hotch was at the helm. And that was a sense of trust Spencer hadn't bestowed on many people. So Hotch didn't have to be 'friendly' for Spencer to like him. But Spencer also remembered that Hotch had a stern face and a piercing gaze, and he wasn't quite sure if Hotch _were_ to ask him a question he would be able to talk his way out of answering it.

"Come on, Pretty Boy," Derek said with a sigh. "We've got a bit of a drive and Hotch wants us there ASAP. So let's get showered up quick. We'll be able to get something to eat at the Bureau."

"Should we shower together?" Spencer asked sheepishly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Derek laughed.

"You know if we do that we'll never leave this house," he said with a wink.

* * *

When Derek and Spencer walked through the thick glass doors and into the 6th floor bullpen, they both had different thoughts on their minds. Spencer was looking around the bustling office, eyes wide and lips parted in awe. Even though it was barely half-past seven in the morning, there were already numerous agents at work at their desks, phones ringing, and people briskly walking from office to office. Spencer was clearly fascinated and trying to take in as much as he could in their brief walk through the bullpen. Derek, on the other hand, was looking out for Hotch. He hoped that by the time he ran across his Unit Chief it would be with the buffer of the rest of their team between them, as opposed to one-on-one. Derek had called Garcia once he and Spencer were on their way, so the team knew to be expecting them.

As Derek neared the middle of the bullpen, he glanced up to the second-floor and noticed Hotch and Rossi walking out of Hotch's office. Derek's step faltered and he grabbed the sleeve of Spencer's coat, dragging him to a halt. Having to face off with 'Hotch and Rossi' was still better than just _Hotch,_ but not by much. Derek wasn't necessarily sure that Rossi would help _avoid_ the conversation straying to the topic of Spencer's unexpected presence. In actuality, it was likely the senior agent would actually take pleasure in teasing Derek about it. He would keep it subtle, so that Hotch wouldn't be able to read into the undertones, but he would still enjoy watching Derek squirm. Frowning slightly, Derek watched as Rossi started down the stairs and when the older man's gaze fell on them Rossi gave Derek a smile and a wink as soon as his eyes took in Spencer standing next to him. Right after Rossi noticed them, Hotch did too, and Derek knew Hotch well enough to tell that the small twitch in the man's eyebrow meant he was not in the best of moods.

But, almost as if by divine intervention, Derek heard the telltale sounds of Garcia's voice, and glanced to his right to see Garcia walking briskly toward him, flanked by JJ and Emily. They were coming from the corridor that led to Garcia's 'lair.'

"Good timing, Morgan," Hotch said, once he and Rossi reached them. "We were all getting ready to convene in the roundtable room to discuss the case."

Derek watched as Hotch glanced over to Spencer, and saw the man's eyebrows twitch again.

"And, hello, Spencer. Nice to see you again," Hotch said as he reached out and shook Spencer's hand, giving him a small smile. Spencer looked flustered but enthusiastically returned the shake, smiling as well.

"I hear you're visiting on winter break from school? I'm glad to hear you were able to resume your education. I'm sure Morgan has updated you on what's been going on, so I'm sorry to have to cut into your vacation plans like this. We'll need you to stay inside the building, just until we figure out what's going on and can make sure everyone will be safe. JJ will get you set up in one of our conference rooms for the time being," Hotch said as he glanced at the blonde woman who was quickly approaching them.

"Good to see you again, kid," Rossi added as he also reached out his hand for a firm handshake. "You're looking well. I'm guessing the time spent in D.C. has been good for you, huh?"

Rossi said the last part with a smile, and Spencer smiled back although he heard a huffed sigh come from Derek, and wondered why the man sounded frustrated. But then JJ, Emily and Garcia reached them, and all three women smiled excitedly at Derek and Spencer, quickly cutting into the conversation.

"Hey, Spence. Long time no see, huh?" JJ teased with a wink, knowing that they had only seen each other last night.

Spencer smiled back as he waved at them.

"JJ," Hotch said, nodding towards her. "Can you walk Spencer over to one of the unoccupied conference rooms so he can be comfortable while we're doing the case briefing?"

JJ nodded and smiled as she gestured for Spencer to follow her.

"Sure thing, Hotch. I'll be back in a few minutes," she said, ushering Spencer in front of her.

"Sorry we had to drag you in here like this, Spence. And so early in the morning too! But, I made sure to stock the room with fresh coffee and donuts, so hopefully it won't be _too_ rough on you," JJ began to say to him as she led him away.

Derek watched JJ and Spencer walk away, before he turned back to the remainder of his team, watching them as they spoke briefly with each other about the case. Looking over each one of them, Derek saw a multitude of different expressions. Garcia seemed anxious, hands moving quickly and bright-red lips turned down into a small frown—a rare sight to see on her face. Emily seemed far more relaxed, but her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyebrow arched in irritation, as if she took the Unsub's taunt as an offense, not a threat. Hotch, as always, had a stern expression, but there was an obvious tenseness in his face, and Derek wasn't sure if that could be attributed wholly to the threat their Unsub posed. And when Derek's eyes landed on Rossi, he was met with a smug smile from the older profiler. Derek knew he wouldn't be able to read much on Rossi's face regarding the case—the man had a world-class poker face. No, the look he was getting was Rossi's way of acknowledging Spencer's presence.

"Let's get started," Hotch announced, causing Derek to break eye-contact with Rossi.

The team murmured their agreement, and they made their way upstairs.

* * *

In the roundtable room, the profilers sat quietly, paying rapt attention to Garcia as she began explaining the situation. It wasn't often that Garcia led the briefing on a case. Usually, that was JJ's role. However, this case quite clearly fell into Garcia's area of expertise, because she was more familiar with the 'world' in which their Unsub operated, and she was assigned the task of apprising everyone of the situation.

"From what I've been able to discover so far, I think we're dealing with a cyber hacker who's seeking thrills," Garcia explained as she clicked a button on the remote in her hand.

"Thrill-seeker?" Emily asked, frowning. "I mean, I get that with a vigilante or something, but what _thrill_ is this guy getting if he's sitting behind a computer screen? Hackers are the type of people who don't get their hands dirty—at least not in the _real_ world. Right?"

"Well, yes and no," Garcia said as she shrugged her shoulders. "Being a well-known hacker is all about your credibility and your fame. You have to show the others that you can do something they can't do. That you've gone somewhere they haven't been. Often, hacking into extremely protected security systems is used as a test to see if you have what it takes to be allowed into some of the elitist hacker circles."

"A test?" JJ asked. "Well, aren't they known to like to act anonymously? Why would doing something illegal—like hacking a government agency—be a test for these guys? It's just reckless. There are probably a dozen other ways for them to exhibit their skill without also running the risk of going to _prison_."

"It's like graffiti artists," Rossi suggested. "Often they receive acclaim by putting their tag on the most outlandish—and dangerous—place. They tag bridges, government buildings, skyscrapers, train tracks, the list goes on. It's like whoever pulls the craziest stunt 'wins.' Kind of like planting your flag on Everest."

"Exactly," Garcia said as she nodded at Rossi, looking impressed by his knowledge. "If a hacker is being 'tested' like this, it's usually to do something so obscure that the hacker doesn't run the risk of getting caught. You know, maybe something like changing the colors of lights on a building, or adding a bit of code to make an official government comment say something totally ridiculous. They're often like 'pranks.' But, sometimes a hacker may also pull a stunt like this to _impress_ a group. This is usually the case if he tried to get in and they wouldn't let him, or didn't think he was good enough."

"Okay, so we need to figure out which kind this guy is," Hotch said as he gestured toward the screen.

Nodding, Garcia clicked the remote again and a white screen appeared. Black letters, in standard Times New Roman font, appeared on the screen.

"This is the note he left us," Garcia explained.

" _Members of the BAU_ ," Emily began reading aloud. " _You claim to be some of the nation's best crime fighters But are you really? Or are you all just narcissists? You promise victims that you'll keep them safe, but what does 'safe' really mean? What would you do if I released a victim's address to a convict they helped put away? What would you do if I made the material evidence in one of your cases just disappear? You rely so much on technology—technology you barely understand—but all of it can be altered and manipulated in the blink of an eye. You think you have power? You think you're in control?_ _ **I'm**_ _the one who's in control. And you'll learn what I can do with it. So show me how smart you are. You have 8 hours to find me, before I start causing havoc._ - _X_ "

Silence descended on the room as the team absorbed the message Emily had just read.

Hotch then cleared his throat, causing everyone to look at him.

"Running a scan on it, Garcia determined that the message the Unsub left for us wasn't tainted with any type of virus or self-deleting software, so she was able to open this file and analyze it. He hacked our system, but it wasn't to _derail_ us. He could've wiped everything; he could have made it so it was impossible for us to function. But he didn't. Instead, he left us this message. It was because he wanted to show us that he _could_ do it. The message was untraceable, and he thinks it'll keep him safe—that he has the advantage. He doesn't realize he's already given us so much. So what can we conclude about him just from what he's told us so far?" Hotch asked as he glanced around at his team.

"Well… he is obviously power-hungry, and that must mean that he's feeling inadequate in some other area of his life," Emily offered.

"That makes sense with what Garcia said about someone trying to prove themselves to a hacking ring," Derek said as he nodded.

"And it's obvious it's a _game_ to him," JJ said with a frown. "He's giving us time to 'find him,' instead of just using the information he has now to cause whatever 'havoc' he has planned. He wants to test us, merely because it's _fun_. He thinks he's smarter than us."

The other members hummed their agreement as they nodded their heads.

"And what about this signing his name 'X' thing?" Rossi asked as he motioned toward the plain writing on the screen. "What does that tell us about who he is? What does he want us to take from that?"

"X could mean _anything_ ," Derek said, sighing in frustration. "It means ten; it means 'kiss,' it means 'x marks the spot'…"

"'X' was also often used by those who were illiterate and were unable to sign their names," Hotch murmured, adding to Derek's long list.

"It could also mean the sign of the cross," Rossi added.

"X could even mean _unknown_ ," Emily offered. "Like 'X-factor,' or 'X-ray.'"

"It seems like a pretty inexhaustible list," JJ said as she sat back sighing. "Even if there was someone who knew _all_ the different meanings of 'X,' there's no way of knowing exactly how this guy intended to use it. So why use it in the first place?"

Derek couldn't help thinking that _Spencer_ would probably know one hundred different additional obscure meanings for something as innocuous as the letter 'X.' It just seemed like the type of thing the kid would be 'into.' And he wondered briefly if maybe he should ask him about it once the briefing was over. Then Garcia started talking, in answer to JJ's question, and Derek forced himself to push all thoughts of Spencer out of his head.

"Well, most hackers use handles—like a signature. It's how they identify themselves and get credit for what they've accomplished. I highly doubt 'X' is his _actual_ signature. He really probably was using it just to distract us. I mean, it's actually pretty smart. If he had used his real signature, it'd be easy for me to find who he is by asking some of my…uh, _former_ associates," Garcia said, flushing slightly.

Derek glanced at her, knowing that she was thinking back to her days of being a hacker very similar to the one she was describing now. During her time as the 'Black Queen,' Garcia hadn't been doing anything _harmful_ per se, but what she had been doing had still been illegal. And it had caused her to fall into the sights of the FBI. Everyone knew she had been 'recruited' in a rock-and-a-hard-place type of situation, but no one treated her differently for it, and no one ever really brought it up.

"So… that probably means he's just fucking with us," Derek concluded, drawing the conversation back to the matter at hand.

"That might be," Hotch said, frowning at Derek's choice of words. "But, he's given us more to use against him than he thinks he has. We know he's probably been slighted and made to feel powerless in some other area of his life. He needs to _prove_ himself. And he called _us_ narcissists, but his actions clearly show that he's the one who craves attention and validation from others. He thinks he's smarter than us and wants to play a game of wit. He wants to see if we're capable of besting him, and I believe that he thinks if we fail he'll be able to prove to whoever has doubted him that he's really as amazing as he thinks he is."

The team murmured their agreement, confident that this Unsub was nothing they couldn't handle.

"So let's show him that he's _not_ ," Hotch continued as he stood to his feet. "Garcia, I want you to do some digging on recent internet-users who have posted about an unfair occurrence or personal slight on message boards and other networking sites. And when you've gotten that together, give them to JJ and Prentiss so they can apply the profile and start to narrow suspects down."

"That is going to be a _long_ list, Sir. People on the internet _always_ feel like they've been attacked or 'misunderstood,'" Garcia said, frowning slightly.

"I trust in your ability to filter through the ones who fit into the very specific parameters of who we're looking for, Garcia. It's a male; someone intelligent; probably young with either an impressive educational background or impressive natural skillset. And, like you said, he thinks he _deserves_ to have recognition from these groups, but they didn't think he was good enough. They didn't acknowledge his greatness. I'm sure you can access some elite groups. This guy wouldn't settle for 'mainstream.' He would be demanding membership into something _exclusive_."

Nodding as she scribbled down Hotch's search parameters, Garcia smiled slightly, finally feeling more in control of what had originally seemed like an overly daunting situation.

"Dave and Morgan," Hotch said as he looked at them, "I want you to work on going through our archived files and pulling any you think may be a target of our Unsub. He specifically mentioned cases in which someone has testified or otherwise provided evidence that resulted in a conviction, and those in which we have evidence that might impact whether a current case may go to trial. So, you need to look at any files where someone was convicted but was released recently or is pending release, and any of our open cases with upcoming trial dates."

"And I know he'll be contacting us again," Hotch said with a frown. "He might have given us 8 hours, but I highly doubt he'll be letting us have that time without throwing a few wrenches in along the way. I'm currently working on having the tech team reroute all incoming correspondence for the whole Bureau through different servers, so the Unsub won't be able to access any _new_ casework. And hopefully, as an added bonus, if he tries to contact us again, we'll be able to intercept it and narrow down where he's operating from."

Having heard their instructions, the rest of the team began to get to their feet and gather their files, preparing to get to work. Hotch glanced down at his cellphone and after nodding at the team, immediately turned on his heel and briskly walked out of the conference room.

"So, that means we're going to spend our day on computers trying to track down some brainiac who wants to talk to us in hints and riddles? Is it too much to ask for old-school criminals?" Rossi muttered with a sigh.

Derek could only smile at him and shake his head.

* * *

An hour later, Hotch's prediction had been proven true. Garcia came rushing into the bullpen, where JJ, Emily, and Derek had been working. Because they had to wait for Garcia to finish running her searches of hacker blogs, JJ and Emily had offered to help Derek pull possible casefiles, while Rossi did the same thing in the privacy of his office. They all looked up as they heard the sound of Garcia's heels clacking on the tile floor.

"We just got another message from our Unsub!" she said, slightly out of breath as she gestured toward her three colleagues with a white sheet of printed paper in her hands.

Grabbing the sheet out of her hands, Derek looked down at what was written there, as Emily and JJ crowded in around him.

"What _is_ this?" Derek asked as his eyebrow rose in confusion. "Is this _binary_ code?"

"Yeah, but it's _coded_ binary code. If you look at it, as is, none of it makes sense. There aren't any words. It's practically gibberish. I think he developed some type of coding system which would require me to decode _that_ before I could even begin to figure out what the message in his binary is supposed to mean," Garcia said with a frown.

"Jesus Christ," Emily said with a groan as she handed the paper back to Garcia.

"You better go show that to Hotch, Baby Girl," Derek said as he sighed and gave her an apologetic look. "But, I'm sure he's going to be tasking you with the job of cracking it."

Garcia looked at him determinedly.

"Well, you better believe I'm gonna try my damnedest, Derek Morgan. No wannabe-hacker is going to try to get one over on me," she said as she turned and began marching her way towards Hotch's office.

"This is going to be a _long_ day," Emily said with a sigh. "I know lots of languages but _binary_ was never at the top of my list."

Derek echoed her sigh in agreement as he shook his head.

"It's hard to look at this guy like one of our regular Unsubs. I'm used to someone who's holding a gun on some helpless victim, and I know all I need to do is tackle him or talk him down, and we can save somebody. But, right now, there's no real 'person' at gunpoint. Even knowing that, it's not like we can take him lightly. If he isn't taken down he could cause a lot of damage," he said.

"Absolutely," JJ agreed. "And knowing how serious this information is, I just hate that he's toying with us. It's cowardly for him to sit behind a computer screen and taunt us like this. Who's to say he's even in the _country_? When we deal with cyber criminals, the anonymity of it all is really our worst enemy."

Emily and Derek nodded, twin frowns on their faces.

"The fact that he's sending us 'coded' messages definitely means he's seeing this like game. He's like a little kid maneuvering toy soldiers, blowing things up left and right. I don't know if he really appreciates the _seriousness_ of what will happen if he acts on any of his threats," Emily murmured as she began to chew on her nail.

JJ let out a huff of frustration as she tossed a half-read file on to the desk-top.

"I hate being strung along like this and being forced into playing his pawns. I feel like we're not getting anything accomplished here because we don't really know what he _wants_. And sitting here like this is making me antsy. I think we could use a coffee break. You guys want to go check on Spencer?" she asked hopefully.

Perking up, Derek and Emily smiled at her and nodded enthusiastically.

* * *

When Emily, JJ and Derek walked into the conference room they all smiled fondly at the sight they saw. Spencer was leaned back in one of the leather chairs, mismatched socked feet up on the table and crossed at the ankle, as he flipped through the pages of a thick tome. Spread out in front of him on the table was a number of similarly thick books, the opened box of donuts and the coffee pot. The box JJ had left him had been filled with a dozen donuts, and Derek had to hold back a laugh to see that almost half of them were gone. Not to mention that Spencer had made a serious dent in the coffee pot as well. The three agents could tell that Spencer was so absorbed in his reading that he hadn't even heard them come in through the slightly ajar door.

"You've obviously made yourself quite comfortable, kid," Derek announced from behind him, as he laid a hand gently on his shoulder, causing Spencer to gasp and spin around, unbalancing himself and almost toppling out of the chair.

JJ and Emily laughed at Spencer's guilty-looking expression as the boy blushed and shifted so that his feet were off the table and tucked underneath.

"Well, I've been here for more than an _hour_ ," Spencer said with a pout as he put the book down.

Emily raised an eyebrow as she glanced at the other books sitting next to the one he put down.

"Are you reading all these at the same time? Like for research or something?" she asked as she titled her head in confusion. She couldn't understand why Spencer had bothered to bring so _many_ books with him, just to spend a few hours at their office.

"No," Spencer said with a shrug. "I finished the other one, and I'm almost through with this one."

"Uh… excuse me?" Emily asked, both eyebrows shooting up.

"I read fast," Spencer explained.

And when Emily still continued to stare at him—and he noticed that JJ was giving him a similarly incredulous look—he amended his statement by adding, "Really, _really_ fast."

The two girls broke into laugher and just shook their head.

"We find out more and more fascinating things about you every day, Spencer," JJ said with a smile as she approached the table, taking a seat. Emily and Derek soon followed.

"Would you be willing to share the coffee or are you territorial about that, young genius?" Emily asked with a wink.

Spencer blushed but then pushed the pot and the paper cups in their direction.

"S-sorry I drank so much of it," he said

"Don't worry about it," JJ said with a laugh. "Believe me, the one thing this place does right is keep itself fully stocked with never-ending supplies of coffee. If they didn't, they'd have a lot of pretty disgruntled government employees on their hands. Our break room probably has three full pots waiting right now. We only decided to come here and leech off of yours because we're trying to escape from our work. And we wanted to visit you."

JJ smiled at him and Spencer couldn't help the bright smile he returned her. As JJ and Emily began pouring themselves a cup of coffee, Spencer's eyes quickly shifted towards Derek, who was sitting to his left, and his heart sped up a little when he saw the older man looking at him, with a warm smile on his face. Spencer had thought Derek would distance himself—in the hopes of appearing 'professional'—while in the Bureau, but he had been pleasantly surprised to find that Derek seemed to be his similarly protective and over-concerned self whenever he was in his presence.

When they first arrived at the Bureau, Derek had held on to Spencer's coat sleeve, and—Spencer wasn't sure if Derek had _realized_ it—pulled Spencer slightly closer to him when Hotch and Rossi had descended the stairs. As if he was saying 'you'll be alright as long as you're next to me.' And it _had_ made Spencer feel better. It had quickly dissolved the vice of nervousness that had clenched around his stomach when he saw the two older men approaching them. Hotch had been polite—and even friendly—and Rossi had been smirking at Derek, which had seemed to frustrate him, although Spencer didn't quite know what to make of it.

And after that, Spencer had even remembered feeling Derek's eyes boring into his back when JJ had walked him to the conference room, as if Derek didn't want to let him out of his sight. Derek was obviously tense—which wasn't surprising given that he was nervous about what his boss was going to say—but he also seemed focused on making sure _Spencer_ was alright. And that had meant a lot to the younger man.

"How's the case going?" Spencer asked quietly as he swiveled around in the chair so he was more fully facing Derek.

Derek glanced over the top of his head to look at Emily and JJ, and saw that they were still preoccupied with preparing their coffees. He then dropped his eyes down to Spencer's again, giving him a wide smile and a wink, before settling for a more serious expression.

"Things aren't really progressing much. We're working on a pretty basic profile so at this point we're in more of a trial-and-error, process of elimination-type of phase. That is always painstakingly slow. But then the guy just sent Garcia some type of coded message and we won't really know how that'll change our plan of attack until we can figure out what he's got to say," Derek explained.

Spencer's ears perked up at the mention of a 'code,' but before he could inquire about it, the door swung open and everyone's eyes turned towards the door.

" _There_ you are!" Garcia said as she flitted into the room. "I've been looking all over for you guys. I turn my back for one second and everyone squirrels away. Well, sorry to cut your coffee-break short, crime-fighters, but we've got updated orders from Boss-man."

"Derek, Rossi told me he's pulled about ten or so files he thinks might be on the Unsub's radar so he wants you to meet with him in his office, with the files you've already flagged, and see if there's any kind of overlap among them," Garcia said as she took a seat at the table with them.

"JJ and Ems, now that I've received this second message Hotch and I were able to talk in depth about the type of skillset someone would need to write code like this, and I realized that I could probably narrow that subject pool way down for you girls. So I have a stack of names for you guys to look into. Just come back with me to the lair and I'll set you up," she said as she looked at the two in question.

"And unfortunately _I_ , as we expected, am tasked with figuring out what this psycho _wants_ by decoding his little message here. So, I will be cooped up in the lair having my computer run some data analyses and algorithms as it tries to crack the code," she said with a sigh.

Mumbling to themselves, the three agents in question got to their feet. As they made sure to top off their coffees, Garcia patted them all on the shoulder giving them each encouraging smiles.

"You will all be rewarded for your sacrifices, my sweets. I'll make brownies for all of you once this case is over," Garcia promised.

Laughing, the three of them agreed that that sounded like a fair trade. Garcia laughed along with them until she glanced at Spencer and saw him looking at them all, seeming slightly out of place. She looked around the room, with a frown on her face, taking note of the books laid out on the table in front of him and the otherwise bare and drab conference room.

"Spencer, pack your bag. You're coming too," Garcia said as she pointed at him with one pink-manicured finger.

"Wha-" Spencer said with alarm at the same time Derek said, "Baby Girl…" as he glanced at Spencer.

"This place _sucks_. There's no action, nothing to look at but white walls and he can't _talk_ to anyone. I know we have to keep him safe, but do we really have to keep him sequestered? He can come and hang out with me," Garcia said.

"I… I brought books, so I'm totally fine-" Spencer began, but Garcia cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"It wasn't a _suggestion_ , my dear. I'm liberating you from this prison. My office has pretty things, like feathers and glitter. Oh, and I have the _cutest_ new unicorn plushy. Do you like unicorns, Spencer?" she asked, giving him a bright smile.

Spencer stared at her with wide eyes—becoming even less enthusiastic, rather than _swayed_ , by the mention of unicorns—as his hands twitched nervously in his lap. Noticing his hesitance, Garcia began motioning to Spencer's books and his open satchel, indicating that she wanted him to hurry and get ready. JJ and Emily glanced at each other, with eyebrows raised over Garcia's proposal, but ultimately shrugged in acquiescence.

"No time to dilly dally," Garcia said.

"Garcia," Derek said again, a hint of annoyance in his voice as he watched Spencer start shoving his books into the leather bag.

Derek didn't necessarily think it would be _a problem_ for Spencer to spend time in Garcia's 'lair.' He had actually felt guilty that he had to keep Spencer cooped up in the conference room, but it wasn't like they could have him sitting in while they briefed the case or ran through suspects. But Garcia's office was a little different. She could be going over multitudes of confidential information, but no one would be able to tell because of the speed at which she crunched through the data and the fact that much of what she was working with was encrypted. It was like she was reading a language none of them could translate. However, what Derek _was_ worried about was that Garcia wouldn't be able to keep a reign on herself and—with the fact that she was the only one who knew the _truth_ about his relationship with Spencer—he didn't necessarily want her alone with him. On top of that, well…Garcia was sometimes somewhat of a loose cannon. He didn't need her to do something crazy while Spencer was there and have Hotch thinking Spencer was somehow involved.

Derek opened his mouth to protest again when Garcia cut him off.

"Shoo, shoo!" Garcia said as she literally made a shooing motion with her hands. "Sir Rossi has requested your presence and you should not keep that man waiting. We'll take care of the little lamb here."

Derek still didn't like it, but he saw that Garcia was going to put up one hell of a fight if he didn't give in. He gave her a meaningful look—which she knew meant 'take care of him'—and she smiled at him reassuringly. Derek shook his head and sighed, clearly defeated.

"Fine… but, just don't get him in any trouble, Garcia," Derek said

Spencer turned around to look at Derek with wide eyes, wondering (with just a bit of panic) what type of _trouble_ Garcia could possibly get him into. And when Derek saw the look on his face he couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't worry, kid. She's not as bad as I'm making her out to be," Derek said with a wink.

" _Please_ , Derek Morgan," Garcia said with an eye roll. "You wish you were as awesome as me!"

She then slipped her arm through Spencer's and began to drag him down the hallway. Eyebrows raised in alarm, Spencer glanced over his shoulder again and saw Derek waving at him and knew he would find no help in him. Giving up, Spencer let Garcia drag him down the stairs, followed by JJ and Emily as they watched on amusedly.

* * *

In the hallway outside of Garcia's 'lair,' Spencer waited, alongside JJ and Emily, while Garcia retrieved the printouts she had promised them. She had told Spencer he had to wait to get the 'grand' tour before she would let him in her office. When the door finally opened again, Garcia slid out, closing the door tightly behind Spencer and winking at him, making sure he didn't have an opportunity to peek in. Spencer furrowed his brows at her, wondering what exactly was behind those closed doors, but also feeling somewhat apprehensive to see it.

"Here you go, my dears," Garcia said as she held out a thick stack of papers.

"Wow, Garcia," JJ said as she took the pile. "This is _narrowed_ down?"

"Unfortunately there are lots and _lots_ of guys out there who think of themselves as 'master' hackers," Garcia said as she rolled her eyes at the thought. "This list really does only consist of the ones who I think would've had the skill-set to hack _my_ system, though. And don't be put off: I added their background checks in there as well. It's not just a list of _names_."

The two women let out a sigh of relief.

"So, baby-genius," Garcia said as she turned to Spencer and smiled. "You can see Em and JJ have their hands full. And although Chocolate Thunder probably hates the thought of leaving you on your own, he's busy too. So that means you and Mama Garcia can spend some much-needed alone time together, ok?"

Spencer's eyes widened as his face flushed upon hearing the term Garcia had used.

"Ch-chocolate thunder?" he asked incredulously, not knowing what to make of that name but knowing immediately that Garcia was using it to refer to _Derek_.

JJ and Emily laughed from behind him.

"Don't read anything into Garcia's uh… 'colorful' pet-names for Morgan," JJ said, blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

"In reality, what goes on between Morgan and Garcia would probably be considered sexual harassment, but PG here gets special treatment from the higher-ups since she's such an invaluable asset," Emily said with a wink.

Spencer stared at Garcia, brows furrowed in concern, and it seemed like it dawned on her what had bothered him. Blinking in surprise, she then smiled, red lips quirking up at the corner.

"And _everything_ I say about my Der-Bear is all in good-natured jest. Derek Morgan has yet to ride the Penelope Express," she said with a wink, causing Spencer to blush and look at her in shock.

"I don't think Morgan could _handle_ you Garcia," Emily said, laughing, as she turned to head back to the bullpen.

"You bet your sweet ass he can't," Garcia agreed.

JJ followed after Emily, throwing Spencer a sympathetic smile and wagging her finger in a scolding fashion at Garcia.

"Don't rub off on Spencer, you hear me? We don't need him getting corrupted," JJ warned her.

Garcia laughed and shrugged her shoulders as she waved them away.

"I make no promises!" she said lightly.

Emily and JJ laughed and shook their heads as they walked away.

Once the two were gone, Garcia stepped back from Spencer and smiled at him reassuringly.

"Sorry if I said something that upset you," she said. " _Really_ , there's nothing going on between me and Derek."

Spencer felt his face heat up again, and quickly averted his eyes.

"I… Well, it doesn't really concern me if there _is_ something. I mean… I was just taken a little by surprise to hear you call him that. But, you don't have to explain _anything_ to me," he rushed out.

He didn't like the knowing look he was getting from Garcia. _Or_ that she was insinuating Spencer was 'upset' about what she had said. He hadn't been able to stop himself from reacting to Garcia's suggestive words, so he knew it was his fault that he had gained her attention in the first place. But he had promised himself that he wasn't going to let on to anyone about his and Derek's very 'tentative' situation. Although it didn't seem like he was doing such a good job of that at the moment. And he wondered if the reason Garcia seemed so assured in her conclusion was because she could read his feelings clearly on his face. He hated that he was so _transparent_ , and started wondering if everyone would be able to tell how he felt about Derek.

"Spencer, seriously, there's _nothing_. There has never been anything and there will never _be_ anything," she said, trying again to reassure him.

Spencer looked down, trying not to let her look into his eyes. Apparently his words had done little to dissuade her—in fact, it seemed as if they had convinced her more. He wanted to kick himself for making it so obvious that it bothered him that Garcia seemed to have such a close relationship with Derek. He didn't want Derek to know he had been so… petty. She was his best _friend_. It was totally fine for her to flirt with him and joke around. Spencer was embarrassed that he had even given her reason to have to _explain_ any of that to him.

"I… I understand, ok? No need to keep talking about this. Just… don't bring this up with him, alright?" he asked as he finally looked up at her with pleading eyes.

Garcia threw an arm over his shoulder as she led him to the door of her office.

"Oh, boy-wonder, don't worry about that. I'd never give Derek anything he could use to inflate that already huge ego of his. Trust Mama Garcia. But it also makes me happy that you seem a little possessive of him," she said as she winked at him.

Spencer could only blush again as he hung his head in defeat, refusing to say anything else that would give this woman reason to confirm her suspicions about him.

Penelope Garcia was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

* * *

The 'tour' of Garcia's lair—while conducted in a relatively small and finite space—had been overwhelming for Spencer. Garcia had shown him every little knickknack, stuffed animal, light-up pen, and action figure she had. And there were a _lot_. Every time she opened a drawer, Spencer was shocked by how many things she had been able to pull out of it. She had made him touch everything and wanted to know his opinions on all her most treasured trinkets.

And although Garcia was hard to keep up with—talking almost a mile a minute—Spencer found himself relaxing around her. She was sweet, bubbly, and seemed genuinely interested in learning about, and hearing from, him. She was definitely not the type of person he had expected would work at the FBI. Last night, when he had met her and seen her colorful ensemble, he had thought that was just how she dressed casually. But he had been blown away to see her this morning, decked out in a bright blue dress with a yellow cardigan and what looked to be 4 inch yellow platform heels, to match.

She had been nothing he had been expecting, but at the same time Spencer _liked_ that. For Spencer, it had been rare for him to be around people who didn't _want_ anything from him. He was sure that Garcia—who had called herself, on more than one occasion, the 'Goddess of All Knowing—probably knew _exactly_ what kind of life Spencer had come from. Over the course of the morning, he had been able to piece together that Garcia's job was information-gathering, and without her the team probably wouldn't be able to function. She had worked on his case, and Spencer knew that meant she probably knew what he did, where he worked, and the types of people he used to associate with. But she never looked at him with pity or disgust. She never asked him any questions about his past. She treated him like a _normal_ person. And Spencer was immensely grateful for that.

And… well, he was starting to get a little used to the pet-names, and how she would get excited and squeal whenever she discovered that they had something in common. She would grin, eyes almost sparkling, and tell him how glad she was that he had been added to the 'family' because none of her other teammates were 'cool' enough to be able to hold an in-depth conversation about something like 'Dr. Who.' He wondered if this was what he would have felt like if he had had 'friends' back when he was in high school and college. It was almost unfathomable to him that he had found so many people he could like all in one place, and that that place just happened to be in an elite law-enforcement team. He suddenly felt like—in people like JJ, Emily, and Garcia—he could start to imagine what it would be like to have protective older sisters. And, of course, _Derek_ … Well, that was a whole different story. A story that made his heart beat faster and his stomach do flips.

Shaking his head, Spencer forced himself out of his thoughts and back to what was happening in front of him. After giving him an introduction to her world and what she did, Garcia had sat him down at a chair at the back of her office and told him he could do whatever he wanted to keep himself busy. For some reason, she had thought he would've taken to entertaining himself with her array of treasures, or even with the tablet she had offered him, but instead Spencer had politely declined and resumed reading his book.

He had to admit, he felt way more comfortable in Garcia's lair—which looked and felt so different from all the other offices and rooms he had seen so far—than he had cooped up in the conference room. Intermittently, as he read and Garcia worked, he would hear Garcia remark to herself with frustration about something she was reading on her screen. Or she would print something out and run over to a whiteboard on one side of the room and paste it up. Spencer had tried his best not to be too curious about what she was doing—Garcia had warned him that although she was letting him into her lair she would still be working on a government investigation and that he should pretend to be 'blind and deaf'—but he could tell that she was getting worked up about whatever it was she was tasked with investigating.

He watched on as she made her way back from the whiteboard and huffed as she flopped down into her plush leather chair. She looked defeated. Frowning, he glanced over to the board and saw what looked to be about 20 or so different printouts of text surrounding one printout in the middle. Squinting as his eyes roved over the numbers on the middle sheet, Spencer tilted his head as he processed the numbers. Unconsciously, he placed his book down and got to his feet moving closer to the board and studying it carefully.

Watching him with an eyebrow raised in confusion, Garcia couldn't help but wonder what Spencer was doing. On one hand, she considered telling him he probably shouldn't be looking at that. It was the coded binary message the Unsub had sent her, and, surrounding it, were the computer's numerous attempts (over the past hour) to try to crack the code. Unfortunately, everything that had been printed so far were either complete gibberish or totally unhelpful. Tilting her head to the side as she watched Spencer standing in front of the board, she figured there was no harm in letting him look. It would just appear as meaningless numbers anyway.

Turning back to her computer, which was busy trying to decode the message, she let her eyes rove over the screens as thousands of alphanumeric combinations continued to be computed at lightning-fast speed. She cracked her knuckles and began to type, changing parameters and suggesting different factors the computer could use in its algorithms.

A few minutes later her focus was broken when she heard the whispered word, "Nostradamus," come from somewhere behind her.

"What?" she asked as her hands stilled and she spun around in her chair to stare at the boy who was still focused on the whiteboard, holding his chin with a curious expression.

"Hey, Earth to Spencer!" she said, waving her feather-pen in the air, after a few seconds had passed without him responding.

"Huh?" he asked as he turned around, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Did you say… 'Nostradamus?'" she asked, brows furrowed as she wondered if she had heard him correctly.

"Oh, yeah. The answer to this riddle. It's 'Nostradamus,' isn't it?" he asked with a small smile and a shrug.

"Uh," Garcia said as her eyes widened and she jumped out of her seat. "What answer, to _what_ riddle?"

Spencer flushed.

"Um… this binary message," he said as he pointed behind him. "There's… uh… There's a riddle here, once you break down the first code, and the… well, I think the answer's Nostradamus."

"That… that's one of the messages left by the Unsub in our current case," Garcia said with awe. "You… you were able to break that code? How is that… Is that even possible? My _computer's_ still trying to run an algorithm to break the code, and it's been at it for almost an hour. You…. You've been looking at that thing for like, what, ten _minutes_? You're telling me you're faster than my computer?"

Spencer looked nervous.

"Uh… S-sorry! I… I didn't know this was evidence. I didn't really _intend_ to look at it, but, um… well, my brain… it just kinda… I guess it sees patterns really easily? Numbers and letters they…they just kinda stand out to me. I thought it was just some kind of… um… brain teaser, I guess?" Spencer explained, obviously flustered. "I really didn't mean to… well, _pry_ into a federal investigation."

"Are you _kidding_ me right now?! _Pry_? This is freaking amazing," Garcia said, eyes sparkling with excitement as she got closer to him, a grin on her face. "I knew you were a genius but… _damn_. Spencer, this… this is going to really help us. You have no idea."

"So… uh… you're not mad?" Spencer asked with confusion.

" _No_ ," she said as she rolled her eyes at him. "Well, I may be a bit miffed that there's a genius who's more 'genius-y' than I am, but, hey, it's good to have someone who will keep me on my toes."

She then winked at him, which caused him to blush and smile shyly.

Spencer couldn't deny the sense of pride that had surged in his chest at being told that he had in some way been able to help. That he had put his intelligence to use and it had been _appreciated_.

"Now, we need to go tell my boss-man what you were able to figure out," she said, as she reached out and grabbed him by the wrist. With the other hand she yanked the sheet off the whiteboard. Spencer stared at her in surprise, but quickly learned that she was not kidding. She threw her door open and dragged him out of the room. Destination: Hotch's office.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Spencer stood stock-still at the back of Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner's office, feeling nervous anxiety churning in his stomach, as he watched the stern dark-haired man as he read over the paper in front of him. Spencer could tell that Garcia was obviously not at all intimidated, as she almost hovered over her boss's shoulder as she excitedly explained what Spencer had told her about the riddle encased in the coded message. Hotch had originally expressed displeasure (Spencer could tell by the way the corners of his mouth had turned down into a frown) when Garcia had mentioned that Spencer had been looking at evidence, but he had quickly acquiesced in letting the bubbly blonde fill him in. And now they were waiting to hear what he would have to say.

Setting the printout down, Hotch glanced at Spencer, noting his tense body language, then back at Garcia, who was grinning at him. Sighing, he rubbed at the bridge of his nose. He then addressed the tall youth standing near the door.

"Spencer," Hotch said, and he watched as Spencer jumped a bit. "This was really great work. Seriously. We can't thank you enough."

Spencer's eyes widened as he mumbled a soft 'You're welcome.'

Hotch smiled—a genuine one that reached his eyes—before he stood to his feet.

"Let's update the team," he said.

* * *

When Derek walked into the roundtable room, and saw Spencer there, along with Garcia and Hotch, he couldn't help feeling like his heart had jumped into his throat. Before he could ask any questions, he was tapped on the shoulder by Rossi who had been walking just a few feet behind him and had been barred entry from the door when Derek had come to a complete stop in the doorway. Having been prompted back into motion, Derek walked the rest of the way into the room, trying to catch Spencer's eyes and when those honey-colored orbs landed on him, Spencer smiled at him happily. That was somewhat of a relief. At least Derek could be confident that this wasn't going to be an 'I know about your relationship' chat. Soon after, JJ and Emily filed into the room and once everyone was seated and the door was closed, Hotch began to speak.

"There has been a new development in the case," he announced. "While in Garcia's office, Spencer actually took a look at the coded message sent from our Unsub and he was able to decode it, in his head, and figure out that the Unsub had sent us a riddle."

Rossi let out a whistle of appreciation as he smiled at Spencer.

"Now that's what I'm talking about. Technology today has got nothing on good old human elbow grease. Well, mental elbow grease," he said with a laugh.

"It also helps that boy-wonder here is a certified _genius_ ," Garcia said with a grin as she looked at Spencer proudly. "You wouldn't believe how fast he was!"

"That's amazing, Spence," JJ said as she nudged him.

Spencer looked down at the table, blushing from all the praise, but it was obvious to see he was trying to fight back a smile.

"Yes, very impressive," Hotch said as he continued. "Garcia responded back with the answer to the riddle—using the untraceable email address the Unsub used to send it to us—and we're waiting to see what he'll do with this."

"So, wait, can you tell us a bit more about this riddle and what exactly it's supposed to mean for the case?" Emily asked as she leaned forward.

Pausing for a second, Hotch glanced at Spencer.

"Spencer may be better able to explain the message," he said as he nodded towards him.

Spencer's eyes widened as he looked up, seeing all of the agents looking expectantly at him.

"Uh… Well, um… It was a riddle _and_ a message. In the first part he asked about the 'so-called' great prophet who predicted mass disasters. So that's how I came up with Nostradamus. And after that he insinuated that your team thinks it has the skills to predict human nature; that you guys think you're prophets, as well. But he says he wants to prove you wrong—that you aren't capable of doing what you say you can do. That it's just luck. He says people buy in to it, but they're just sheep. It's like he's saying you guys are charlatans," Spencer murmured.

Derek frowned hearing that.

"This guy has got some balls," he said. "It's obvious he's over-compensating if all he wants to do with his time is have a pissing contest with us. "

"I agree," Emily said, a similar frown on her face. "He's taunting us and disparaging our profession. I'm sure this is connected to him not feeling validated in his own skills and feeling frustrated that we have the kind of clout that we do."

"He's projecting," Rossi agreed.

"Well, we'll continue with the investigation, armed with this new knowledge. Hopefully we'll be able to narrow our subject pool and stop him before he has a chance to do anything else," Hotch said. He then looked at Spencer. "But, in the future, it's probably best that _you_ stay in the conference room. It would be unfair to involve you in a criminal investigation like this, Spencer."

Before anyone could respond, a dinging sound echoed from Garcia's phone. She glanced down and her brows furrowed as she began to read.

"Oh no… Oh no, no, no, no, no" Garcia said as she quickly scrolled down the screen.

"What is it?" Hotch asked as he moved to stand next to her.

"The Unsub. He responded and he's _not_ happy," she said as she quickly reached for the tablet on the table and quickly set it up so that it would cast its contents to the large screen in front of them.

Hotch frowned as he read it.

" _You are naughty. Naughty and dishonest._ _ **No**_ _one in your team could have solved that riddle as fast as you did. Yes, your technical analyst has impressive skills, but she's_ _ **not**_ _a mathematician. It would have taken hours for the computers at the FBI to crack my code. And that was the POINT. You don't want to play by the rules? Fine. Then I will make it harder on you. I am going to send you codes that correspond to the names of cases the BAU has covered. For every one of these codes that you_ _ **can't**_ _solve, I am going to release the confidential information that corresponds with that case. Have fun with that. –X"_

"That's…not good," Emily said with a sigh, as she began to chew on her nail.

"Sir… I… well, you know my computer isn't equipped to decode this," Garcia trailed off as she glanced between Spencer and Hotch.

"I'm thinking we need to put Spencer to work," Rossi suggested, as he turned to Hotch.

Hotch looked around at each member of his team, the frown on his face making it clear what he thought about that idea, but it was also clear that they were backed into a corner. So all he could do was nod.

* * *

Derek sighed as he walked away from the conference room that had been set up for Spencer to work in. About an hour had passed since the Unsub's message and Spencer had been hard at work. He had deciphered three codes already, all of increasingly higher difficulty. Derek had wanted to talk to the boy—ask him if he was alright with having been recruited like this—but everything had been so busy that he hadn't been given the opportunity.

So far, Spencer had decoded information regarding an international child trafficking ring case that the team had worked on almost a year ago. The case was set to go to trial—in Prague—and the FBI's investigation into the ring's activities state-side would be integral in helping to establish the charges abroad. That case had been very difficult to build and they were all relieved to know that that would not be one of the cases the Unsub would be tampering with. Then, Spencer had decoded messages regarding an Unsub who had been embezzling money and using it to finance homegrown terrorists and a serial arsonist whose case was currently under appeal.

In addition, Hotch had been shooting Derek looks and had finally told him, in no uncertain terms, that he expected him to get back to work with going through the files with Rossi. Now that they had some actual specific cases to work with, Hotch needed them to run point on them, telling the tech specialists which information to pull from the servers and back up. And amidst all the commotion, Hotch had received a call informing him that he was expected to meet with Strauss, along with other higher-ups, to discuss the seriousness of the security breach and what their plan would be if they couldn't contain the Unsub. And as Hotch was walking out, he had made Derek leave the room with him.

"Spencer will be fine," Hotch said briskly as he ushered Derek toward the stairs. "I'm leaving JJ and Prentiss with him. And Garcia will come by whenever the Unsub sends a new code. _Dave_ needs your help Morgan."

"I got you, Hotch, but the kid didn't sign up for this. I just… I want to make sure this isn't too much for him," Derek murmured.

Hotch sighed as he came to a stop.

"Believe me, I didn't want to have to do this either. Not _again_ ," Hotch said, and they both thought back to the Unit Chief's decision to use Spencer as a pawn during the Judgment Maker case.

"But, for right now, he's our best option," Hotch continued. "I want to nip this in the bud as quickly as we can. And with the least exposure for Spencer. So far the Unsub has only been giving case names and I made sure that Prentiss and JJ don't let Spencer know what the content of those cases actually are. As soon as we don't need him, I'll make sure to pull him out. But, in the meantime, I can't risk this Unsub compromising these cases like he is threatening to do."

Derek nodded, a frown on his face. He knew Hotch was right. And, being completely honest with himself, Derek knew Spencer wouldn't be in any danger as long as he was within the walls of the Bureau. Spencer looked like he was having a good time, too—as if the codes were math challenges and he wanted to test his abilities by cracking them. As long as that was all it was, Derek was content to leave him to it.

"Yeah, that's a valid point," Derek conceded. "I just hope this is over soon."

Hotch nodded his agreement, face softening a bit. He then glanced down to his phone screen, which had just illuminated and rolled his eyes slightly. Derek could only imagine it was another message from Strauss.

"The faster we all get back to work, the faster this'll end," Hotch said, before clapping Derek on the shoulder and heading down the stairs.

* * *

A/N: That's it for part one of the Hacker case, you guys! Please let me know your thoughts; I always love to hear from you! I will give a huge disclaimer right now by saying I know NOTHING about hacking and fancy computer stuff like 'coding.' I'm really just making this up. I didn't even spend any time on researching, haha. So, if it's all a little unbelievable, let's just _suspend_ disbelief for the moment and pretend like the stuff I'm saying is true/makes sense, hahaha. Anywho, part 2 should be up a few days after this one! So stay tuned for more intrigue and BAU politics. :P

Also, I just moved to my new apartment in preparation to start my PhD program in about 2 weeks. I really really want to have this story completed _before_ that (because, who _knows_ what time I'll have once school starts). So, the end really is coming soon guys!

See you next chapter!

xoxo


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for your reviews/comments, and for continuing to faithfully follow this story! You make it so fun to write :3. Sorry that I promised a shorter update period this time around and _still_ ended up taking about a week. Real life kind of caught up with me and my beta, and thus this chapter (and the next) won't be beta-ed. In any case, I am really thankful to my beta for all she has been able to do with helping me to craft this story :).

Anywho, not too much preamble for this author's note since this chapter picks up right after the end of chapter 9, as we continue with the 'hacker case.' This chapter may be a bit more… 'dramatic' than the last one, but that's kind of how I like to write anyway ;p. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

After about an hour of wading through the influx of codes from the Unsub, there was finally a much-needed lull. Emily and JJ sighed as they sat back at the table, having just refilled coffee for Spencer and themselves. Spencer didn't seem nearly as exhausted as they did. Instead of wearing him down, the challenging codes had Spencer's eyes shining with excitement and his knee bouncing up and down with nervous energy. It was actually quite impressive. While Spencer worked on the codes, JJ and Emily had been busy going through the thick list of suspects Garcia had given them earlier. But now, they had decided that everyone could use a break.

"Spencer," JJ began after taking a long sip from her cup. "I know this probably wasn't what you had in mind when you decided to visit for break—so let me just take a moment to say I'm so sorry it turned out this way—but I really want to thank you for helping us out like you have been."

Spencer smiled at her.

"It's really no problem. It's actually been kind of… fun? I mean, I've only ever really seen you guys at work when it involves guns and physically chasing suspects. And right now it's interesting to me to see the other side and to kind of match wits with someone who is so smart but is using his knowledge to do something so sinister. I mean… it makes me even more and more awed by what you guys do," he admitted.

"That's really sweet of you to say," Emily said as she smiled back at him. "But, let's not talk about bad guys anymore. We have enough of that to last us a lifetime. Tell us more about what's been going on with _you_ over the last few months. It was hard to really get a word in edgewise last night, so we really couldn't ask everything we wanted to. I don't think our dinner was nearly long enough."

Spencer smiled, remembering the boisterous dinner.

"Uh, sure. Well, what do you guys want to know?" he asked.

JJ's eyes lit up as a thought crossed her mind.

" _Well_ ," she said giving him a mischievous look. "Did anything ever play out between you and that coworker you were crushing on? We never heard what became of that."

Spencer's eyebrows rose, shocked that that was the first topic to come up. But he couldn't say he was surprised. JJ and Emily had been very much interested in helping him when he had revealed to them that he had a 'crush' (which, at that point, he hadn't even _known_ was a crush), so he could understand why they wanted to know if anything had panned out there. But, they had also jumped to some of their own conclusions six months ago, which Spencer had never bothered to clear up, and now he felt a little guilty for not having done so.

"Well… it wasn't actually a 'coworker'… J-just someone I met. _Through_ work," he admitted.

JJ and Emily's eyebrows both rose and when it dawned on Spencer what they thought he meant, he immediately blushed and waved his hands as if that would erase it from their memories.

"N-no! Not-! He wasn't a _customer_ ," Spencer said, feeling his cheeks burn. "I just met him there. That's all. But it was never anything like _that_."

Seeing how flustered Spencer was getting, JJ and Emily intervened to calm him down.

"It's okay, it's okay. We understand. You don't have to explain it," Emily said quickly, giving him a warm smile. "Seriously. We're just curious to know if there are any updates."

Spencer bit his lip for a moment. He knew it was probably a _really_ bad idea to start talking about what was happening with him and Derek. Even if Spencer thought he could get away without 'naming' his love-interest by talking in vague terms, he also knew that profilers, like Emily and JJ, were trained to observe things like micro-expressions, body language, and even the tone of one's voice, and he wasn't sure if maybe there was some way they'd be able to make the 'leap' that he was talking about _Derek_. On the other hand, ever since Spencer had arrived in D.C. and had embarked on the whirlwind that was having feelings for Derek Morgan, he had been going half out of his mind with worry because he didn't have anyone to _talk_ to who could help him figure out the best way of getting his feelings across to Derek. And now, especially after their fight and subsequent reconciliation, he could use some help wading through his emotions. A difference of perspective would be greatly appreciated.

"Uh… well, there isn't too much to say… I mean, I told him my feelings and we've been… Well, I'd say things are _just_ starting to develop. It's really new," he admitted shyly.

JJ gasped and had to force herself to hold back a squeal.

"Really?! That's _great_ Spencer. I'm so happy for you!" she said.

Emily laughed but she also gave him her congratulations.

"Aww, but if things are so new for you guys then it must be hard to be away from him, right?" Emily asked sympathetically.

"Um… well, actually, it's not like I'm _away_ from him," Spencer said with a little smile as he blushed and looked down into his coffee cup. His reaction was not lost on the two women, who exchanged a curious look.

"It sounds like… Did he… come along for the trip?" Emily asked with confusion.

"If he's here too, wouldn't it have made more sense for you two to just have gotten a hotel together, as opposed to you staying with Morgan?" JJ asked, before Spencer could respond.

Spencer cringed a bit, apparently realizing he might have let more slip than he intended.

"N-no!" he said hurriedly. "He's not _here,_ physically. We just… you know, talk every chance we get. So it _feels_ like he's here with me! And, anyway, it's still really early so, you know, I wouldn't have booked a trip and asked him to come with me. I don't think things are like that quite yet..."

JJ and Emily continued to look at him, seeming to want more information, and Spencer heard himself let out an unbidden sigh.

"We're not... in a 'relationship.' Or, at least that's what he says," Spencer mumbled as he bit his lip and stared down at his hands. It strangely felt bad saying that aloud, which wasn't how he had initially felt when he had spoken about it with Derek yesterday.

JJ's eyes narrowed and she exchanged a look with Emily, who seemed similarly bothered by Spencer's words.

"What do you mean, Spencer?" Emily asked as she reached over and laid her hand on top of his.

Spencer looked up with wide eyes, as if startled out of his thoughts. He could tell that the women seemed concerned, and he felt his face heat up, as he waved his hands, trying to placate them. He did _not_ want them worrying about him, or taking pity on the poor, socially-awkward genius who couldn't seem to figure out the 'mechanics' of interpersonal relationships. It was _embarrassing_.

"N-no. Seriously. Nothing's wrong. That's what we _agreed_ on," he tried to explain.

JJ frowned.

"'Agreed' on it?" JJ repeated, as if she didn't like the sound of that.

"Um… it's _complicated_ ," Spencer muttered as he looked down, feeling as if he wished he was anywhere but here. Or, at least that he had kept his big mouth shut.

"So…what exactly would you call what you have with him?" Emily asked as she exchanged a look with JJ.

"I... I don't _know_. I just… well… Ugh, it's embarrassing to talk about this," Spencer whined as he glanced up at the two older women.

They blinked at him in surprise, unsure of what to say. It seemed obvious to them that Spencer _wanted_ to talk about it, but he was just unsure of how to put it into words.

"Spencer, you don't have to feel embarrassed," Emily said, with a smile. "Just like how we talked back when we were with you in Vegas, anything you say will be kept completely between us. It won't leave this room. Of course you don't _have_ to tell us anything, if you feel uncomfortable. But it just looks to me like you want someone to talk to."

Spencer hesitated for a moment, biting his lip, as he mulled over her words. He then took a deep breath as he looked down at his lap. Squeezing his eyes shut, so he didn't have to see their reactions, all of his concerns flowed out of him in a jumble of words.

"I… I mean, um… we've been… you know, ' _intimate_ ,'" Spencer forced himself to say, as he felt his cheeks begin to burn. "A-And that's been, well, good and everything. _Awesome_ , actually… But, um… I don't know what comes _after_ that. Like, what _am_ I to him, you know? And is it normal to feel this way? Like all I want is to be near him all the time and for him to look at no one else but me. And does _he_ feel the same way? Is it normal for him to want to keep his distance? Is it normal at the beginning to feel like you like someone way more than they like you? And to worry if maybe they're just 'putting up' with you because they don't want to hurt your feelings? I mean… I know he cares about me… He's done so much for me, and has really _been_ there for me… But is that as only a _friend?_ How do I know if he thinks I'd be _worth_ taking a chance on… if I'm someone that's worth the _effort_ to try to be something _more_ with…?"

When Spencer finally forced himself to look up, JJ and Emily were looking at him with unreadable expressions. It didn't seem like they were judging him in any way, but more that they were concerned with the words he had said. He watched as they glanced at each other, eyebrows furrowed, as if neither one of them were sure where to start. Then, finally, JJ let out a small sigh and locked eyes with him.

"Um...this is the same guy you confessed your feelings to before, back when you were still working at the club?" JJ asked carefully.

"Uh huh," Spencer said.

"And when did… you know, things get 'intimate,'" she followed up.

Spencer couldn't help blushing, but he forced himself not to look away.

"Um…. _Really_ recently," Spencer admitted.

"And when that happened did either one of you… you know, talk about your feelings?" Emily asked.

"Uh... well, _I_ told him I still liked him. And that nothing had changed about the way I felt for him over all these months. Th-that's why I _did_ it, you know? I wanted him to understand how much I liked him. But um… well, he didn't say anything about the way he felt about me that first time. And… since then he hadn't really said anything either. He _finally_ told me he liked me too a few days ago… but, that was after we had a really big fight," Spencer said, a bit hesitantly.

JJ and Emily exchanged a look again, which Spencer was still unable to decipher, but they both returned their gazes to him before he could inquire about it.

"Spencer… do you _want_ to be in a relationship with him?" Emily asked

Spencer blushed again and looked down at his hands. He didn't need to say anything. It was obvious to both of them that Spencer was a boy in love. He just didn't seem to understand how to get that point across to this other man. And even if he _did_ , neither JJ nor Emily was sure that he would be met with the outcome he wanted.

"Spencer, it's not fair that he gets to do things 'no-strings-attached' if that's not what _you_ want, too. He knows how you feel. You've told him numerous times. What more does he have to decide?" JJ asked, a hint of irritation in her tone.

"Well, I don't think he's a person that… you know, 'does' relationships. So, he just needs some time to figure it out. It's really new for both of us," he said weakly, trying to explain again.

"Spencer, I don't like it," Emily said with finality as she shook her head and sat back. "I mean… If you're comfortable with this, then I guess there's not much we can say. Some people have those types of relationships and are totally satisfied with them. But that's because _both_ parties have agreed to it and know what they're getting themselves into. If it's clear to him you want a relationship and he isn't able to give you an answer right now, that may be okay for a _little_ while… But, just make sure he's not stringing you along or using you."

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked quietly as he looked at her with a stricken expression. Hearing Emily say 'stringing along'—the same words _Spencer_ had used when he accused Derek of doing just that—caused him to feel insecure.

Emily flinched at the dejection in Spencer's voice and couldn't help but cringe at the thought that she had somehow made things worse.

"Spencer," JJ said, cutting in. "Sometimes there are people who… you know, have _commitment_ issues. And those people just never change. It might be good that he's willing to at least _think_ about it now that he's with you. But don't let someone get away with continuing to tell you that they'll 'think about it,' if there's a chance that they may never be serious about committing. You're too good for that. You deserve someone who will properly say 'I'm his and he's mine.' Someone who _wants_ to be your boyfriend, you know?"

JJ smiled kindly at him and Spencer could only nod as he licked his lips and mulled over her words.

Spencer didn't want to think that Derek had said what he said yesterday morning just to placate him. He wanted to believe that Derek was going to give serious thought to the idea of _being_ with him. Derek had _looked_ sincere; he had looked just about as messed up after the fight as Spencer had _felt_. Derek's words—the look in his eyes—had felt genuine. And although those words had soothed him, Spencer still didn't know if he would have any further clarification on the topic by the time he was scheduled to leave in three days. And that was what was really bothering him—going back home and not knowing if Derek had any intention of ever seeing him again.

"But, hey," Emily said, drawing him out of his thoughts. "We're Federal agents and we've got a lot of sway. If you ever want us to fly over to Vegas and… give him a good 'talking' to, you just let us know."

She then smirked and gave him a meaningful wink.

Spencer felt his face heat up again and he forced a smile as he shook his head, telling them that that wouldn't be necessary.

As JJ and Emily gave him reassuring smiles before turning back to their work, Spencer couldn't help but glance out the glass windows into the bullpen where he could see Derek and Rossi leaning over a file on one of the desks.

 _What would they say if they knew they didn't have to go very far at all to do that_ , he wondered to himself.

* * *

"So…" Rossi began as he tossed another file into the box they were using to represent low-priority cases. "We gonna talk about the elephant in the room?"

Derek stilled in what he was doing and glanced up from the file he was reading. His eyes met Rossi's inquisitive brown ones, before they scanned the room, taking note of the busy bullpen.

"I don't know what you're talking about. But whatever it is, I don't think the bullpen is an appropriate place to have this discussion," Derek said as he dropped his eyes back to the file in his lap.

Rossi chuckled.

"Well, I'm sure we're completely capable of having this conversation in vague-enough terms that if someone _were_ interested in eavesdropping, we'd be pretty much in the clear. And, anyway, you didn't make an attempt to talk to me about it when we were in the privacy of my office for most of the morning, so I've gotten a bit tired of waiting," Rossi responded as he steepled his fingers and leaned back in his chair.

Derek sighed, tossing his file down.

"What do you want from me, man?" Derek asked. "You've been telling everyone my 'elephant's' been in town, so it's not like you would've been surprised when we walked in together this morning."

"Hm, that's very true. But I'm still not fully sure if this is a friend-elephant or a 'something more'-elephant," Rossi said, with a shrug.

Derek looked around again, feeling somewhat panicked, but relaxed a bit after seeing that none of the other personnel in the busy bullpen seemed to be even remotely interested in their conversation.

" _Rossi_ ," he said, a hint of warning in his voice. He definitely did _not_ want to be having this conversation with his colleague, especially since he had barely been able to have this conversation successfully with _Spencer_.

"Well, I have got to say it looks like a 'something more' elephant," Rossi continued, completely ignoring Derek's tone. "We're _profilers_ , Derek. You're going to have to do a MUCH better job of hiding the fact that you've escalated to shall we call them _non-platonic_ activities with your… ah… 'elephant' if you don't want more people asking the questions I've been asking you."

Derek felt his face heat up.

"I mean, _come on_. You hover around the kid like you think you have to assert your claim over him. I get the whole alpha-male mentality, but we're not in caveman times," Rossi said with a little laugh. "You might not realize it, but you touch him _constantly_. And your eyes are always on him."

"I don't…" Derek began, feeling embarrassed.

Rossi rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to list out all the times I've _counted_ you putting your hand on his shoulder or back, or ruffling his hair? And not to mention the fact that you've been subconsciously standing within at least six inches of him all day? Really? I thought you would've liked me to save you the embarrassment," Rossi said.

Derek cringed, but remained silent.

"Look, I don't mind it. Young love is sweet, and I have no problem giving you two my blessings. But, as we discussed before, it's not exactly the easiest thing to manage if the higher-ups find out. So, if you want to have any shot at _hiding_ this, you need to be a little more 'self-aware.' Hotch isn't _stupid_ you know. I'd say he's still not sure of the extent of your relationship, but it won't be long before he _is_ ," Rossi said, giving him a pointed look.

Feeling his face still burning, Derek looked back down to his file. All he could do was nod.

Smiling, Rossi patted his knee reassuringly. Before anything further could be said, both the men looked up when they heard the telltale sound of heels clicking on the tile floors. They could see Garcia approaching in her colorful array of blue and yellow.

"Hey, guys," she said as she walked up to them, holding more papers in her hands "We were able to pull a few more case files based on what Spencer had been able to decode and have secured them in our systems. But Hotch asked me to have you guys personally get in touch with the police departments in these cases and let them know what's going on."

"Sure thing, Mama," Derek said, feeling almost thankful for the distraction.

Rossi smiled again.

"I'll take these," he said as he picked up half of the files, "and handle them in my office."

"I'll take the other empty conference room," Derek said as he got to his feet as well. "If Spencer or the girls are looking for me, tell them that's where I'll be."

"Roger that!" Garcia said with a smile as she watched them walk away.

* * *

JJ and Emily stood side by side in the bathroom mirror, having needed a break to splash water on their faces. Staring at those files for hours—and feeling like they were getting nowhere—had made it so that staying alert was getting harder and harder. They just weren't used to sitting around reading case files all day. They were more accustomed to hitting the pavement and doing physical leg-work to facilitate their investigations That pretty much applied to the whole team.

JJ sighed as she patted her face with a paper towel.

"It's pretty tough hearing about Spencer's situation," she said as she tossed the paper into the waste-bin and began to apply lip balm to her lips.

"Yeah," Emily agreed as she started running her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth it out. "He seems so lost. I want him to be happy, but I also don't want to think someone's taking advantage of him."

"It's crazy. I mean, he's this kid who's lived this pretty hardcore lifestyle, but he's still _so_ innocent, and I feel like, if someone's not there to look out for him, he could end up getting really hurt," JJ said as she turned to Emily, an anxious expression on her face.

But Emily could only shrug sadly in response.

"I know, but there's only so much we can _do_. It's not like we can hand-hold him through a relationship. Besides, it seems pretty obvious he doesn't want to tell us too much about this 'mystery guy.' I'm sure you didn't miss the fact that he's never _once_ referred to this guy by name. I'm actually kind of impressed he's been so cognizant of that. So, with that said, all we can do is hope that he figures out what's best for him and that he doesn't end up getting the short end of the stick here," she said.

JJ pursed her lips, ready to respond when they heard the creaking of the door. As it swung open, they were met with the surprised, yet smiling, face of Garcia.

"Hey, there was a girls' powwow and no one told me?" Garcia asked with a grin as she made her way up to the mirror.

JJ laughed and shook her head, watching on as Garcia pulled out a tube of her bright red lipstick and began touching it up.

"No powpow," she said. "Em and I were just on the brink of passing out so we needed a break."

"Uh huh," Garcia said as she smacked her lips at the mirror, making sure the pigment was properly distributed. "But, when girls are congregated around a bathroom mirror, gossip always follows. So what were you two chatting about?"

Emily and JJ exchanged a glance, before shrugging.

"Well… we were kind of discussing Spencer. And his new boyfriend," Emily said, frowning slightly.

" _Oh_?' Garcia said with wide eyes.

"Yeah," JJ said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We first found out about this back when we met him in Vegas, and it became pretty obvious that dating and relationships were pretty much brand new to him. Today he told us that he was finally able to start something with this guy he's been really interested in. But since it's so new it's obvious he's still really insecure about it. And what's worse is that Spencer has been open with his feelings numerous times, and it's clear he's really invested in this guy, but the _boyfriend_ can't decide if he even wants a _relationship_ or not."

Garcia's eyebrows shot up and she couldn't help the curse that slipped out of her mouth.

"That _idiot_!" she exclaimed. "He really hasn't told him yet?'"

"Garcia, what are you talking about?" JJ asked, furrowing her brows.

"Well, _Derek_. I mean he…" Garcia started, but then her eyes widened and she trailed off.

Then, it was like watching a train-wreck in slow-motion. Emily gasped in shock, eyes widening and an exaggerated ' _Ohh!_ ' of understanding escaped her lips. JJ, on the other hand, had a much more obviously negative reaction, her eyes narrowing and face going red with anger. And, between them, Garcia was cringing, eyes wide and hands up, hoping to deescalate the impending catastrophe.

" _Derek_?" JJ asked incredulously, but the fury tinging her voice was not lost on either woman.

"JJ, come on, let's all be rational about this-" Emily began, but she was cut off.

"Derek's the one!? _He's_ the one Spencer's been…? I can't… I can't believe this! All of this time? That son of a bitch!" JJ growled in frustration as she turned on her heel.

Slamming her hand against the door and pushing it open, JJ stormed out of the bathroom. Garcia and Emily glanced at each other, before quickly moving to follow her. They could only trail behind the stormy-eyed, petite blonde as she marched her way to the second-floor conference room. She was clearly on a mission.

* * *

"It's _you_?" JJ almost screeched as she stormed into the conference room and her eyes fell on Derek who had paused in the middle of hanging up the phone.

His eyebrow arched in confusion as he watched Emily and Garcia file in behind her, and he noted how Garcia made sure to close the door behind her and suspiciously avoided meeting his eyes.

" _What's_ me?" Derek asked as he placed the phone down and turned around in his chair to look at JJ.

"The _boyfriend_ ," JJ said as she crossed her arms over her chest. " _You're_ the one Spencer's been 'seeing?'"

Derek's eyes widened and he immediately turned around to shoot an accusing look at Garcia. He saw her shrink under his gaze, as if she was trying to disappear.

"No! You don't look at her," JJ said as she made her way around the table and into Derek's line of sight. "She didn't do anything wrong. And before you jump to any conclusions, _Spence_ r didn't tell us anything either. _You're_ the one who should feel ashamed of himself. No one else."

"JJ, what the hell are you talking about?" Derek asked, feeling his hackles rise.

This was not the way he wanted the other members of his team to find out, but Derek would be damned if he would be grilled, and _accused_ , about a personal part of his life.

But JJ wasn't backing down.

"Derek, in general I'd butt _way_ out of any of your relationships— _casual_ or otherwise," she said as she gave him a pointed look. "But when it comes to Spencer… You… Derek you can't play around with him. You can't seriously have thought that would be okay. I expected _better_ from you."

"Why the fuck does everyone think I'm some heartless asshole who just uses people?" Derek groaned in frustration as he ran his hand over his face.

He wouldn't admit it out loud, but hearing this spiel _twice_ , from women he would consider to be as close to him as sisters, was starting to sting. Sure, he knew they probably had a _reason_ to think that way about him—they had been spectators to his seemingly never-ending revolving door of women over the last few years—but was it so much to ask for his friends to just assume the _best_ about him, instead of the worst?

"Look Derek… I'm not saying you're an 'asshole,' and I don't think you use people. You're a great teammate, an amazing friend, and all-around fantastic guy. But you're also a terrible _boyfriend_ ," JJ said.

"If he ever stays with someone long enough be _called_ a boyfriend," Emily said with a derisive snort.

Derek shot her an annoyed glance.

JJ shook her head again, trying to calm herself down.

"This isn't about _you_ , Derek. Okay? I adore you and I have no qualms with your… 'way' of doing things when it comes to the people you date. As long as that works for you and you're satisfied with that. But now someone else who I care about is involved. And the person I'm worried about getting hurt is _Spencer_. So, I just… I want you to be _sure_ about what it is you're doing with him. Because you can't just get scared and run away again. You can't do that. Not to Spencer... Don't let him be another _Jordan_ ," JJ said as she gave him a meaningful look.

Derek cringed at the mention of his failed relationship-attempt with Jordan Todd, another Supervisory Special Agent, working out of Counterterrorism. Jordan was a friend of JJ's. JJ had _introduced_ them. And about two years ago, Derek had begun dating her. He and Jordan had been 'together' for almost three months. Derek had thought it was casual—he had been having fun with Jordan, but had never had plans of making it anything serious. Jordan, apparently, hadn't been seeing it that way. And things came to a head when she asked him to meet her parents when they were in town and Derek had declined, telling her he didn't want her parents to get the 'wrong idea' about them. He told her that meeting her parents would make things look like they were more serious than they were. And Jordan had _not_ liked hearing that. Derek had learned—quite loudly—that she, and all her friends (some of them also _his_ female coworkers), already considered it serious.

Jordan had gotten so angry and humiliated that she had cursed him out in the bullpen. She had caused such a scene that she refused to show her face there again. JJ still met up with her for lunch once in a while, but since Jordan refused to step foot on their floor, JJ always met her by the elevators. On those days, Derek could often see Jordan standing purposefully with her back to the glass and JJ would walk through the bullpen giving Derek a pointed glare. JJ would be particularly cold to him on those days, as if being reminded of how he had hurt her friend. Other than that, the relationship between him and JJ was great. Derek hadn't been reminded about Jordan for a _long_ time, so to hear her being brought up now was not exactly a welcome topic of conversation.

"Give me a break, JJ," he said. "This has _nothing_ to do with Jordan, and you know that."

"It's not _about_ Jordan, but it's about what happens when you think you have one kind of relationship and the other person's not on the same page," she explained.

Derek huffed in frustration.

"Not that it's any of your business, but Spencer and I have an understanding. It's not going to be like it was with Jordan. I made sure of that," he explained.

"You really think that?" Emily interjected, causing Derek to glance away from JJ's icy-cool stare.

"What do you mean?" Derek asked, frowning.

"You say you have an understanding, but Spencer's obviously still insecure about it. He may have agreed to… not 'defining' what you guys have, but that doesn't mean he's _happy_ about that," Emily replied.

Derek gritted his teeth, wondering exactly how much Spencer had divulged to the girls. He was grateful that Spencer hadn't been the one to let the cat out of the bag—apparently Derek could thank _Garcia_ for that—but Derek still couldn't say he was happy about his current situation. He wasn't used to having so many people analyzing him under a microscope like this. He wished he could just tell them all to leave him alone. But he was cynical-enough to know that it was unlikely he would get what he wanted.

"We're both big boys, you guys," Derek explained to the group of women, acting more charitable than he felt. "So, whatever misgivings you have, trust that Spencer and I can work it out. On our _own_."

"While that's absolutely true, I think you're missing the bigger issue here, Derek," Emily said, trying to soften her tone a bit more. "He wouldn't have talked to us about it if he felt that he could figure it out on his own. While you may think you have everything worked out, you're probably not working with a complete set of the factors here. There are things he's probably not telling you."

Derek looked between Emily and JJ, a frown on his face.

"Spencer's in _love_ with you, Derek. And he's not sure if you feel the same way… if you ever _could_ feel the same way. And that's what makes this an even more delicate situation," JJ explained.

Derek's eyes widened.

"Wait he _told_ you he-" he began before Emily cut him off with a snort and an eye roll.

"He didn't _have_ to," she said. "You can tell just by looking at him. Whenever he talks about you he practically has hearts in his eyes."

Derek flushed at hearing that, but his impending freak-out was cut short when he heard Garcia clear her throat.

"Der-bear, I think that's what's making you anxious. And why you're… hesitating with him. We talked about this. And we specifically talked about _your_ feelings for Spencer," Garcia began.

Derek shot her a warning look, making it clear that he didn't want her to continue with that train of thought. Garcia hadn't said much of anything during the whole conversation, instead opting to expend her nervous energy by pacing slightly back and forth while Emily and JJ grilled him, looking as if she was trying to work out a way to defuse the situation. Derek did _not_ need the first thing she said to be her spilling the beans about the very private conversation they had had only a few days ago.

Emily raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Hmm… so it's a case of you both having deeper feelings than you admit to the other one, and that's why you _both_ feel insecure in this relationship, huh?" she asked.

Derek frowned. He wasn't sure if he liked the word 'insecure.' Derek felt very confident about most things. But, it _was_ true that the intensity of the feelings he had developed for Spencer had made him anxious. He didn't want to mess things up between him and the young genius, and that was why he was telling himself it was better to take things slow—give Spencer time to recover from the 'honeymoon' stage—before he would let either one of them commit themselves to this. Derek wasn't one to dive head first without looking. But Spencer was someone who made him feel like he was doing just _that_. It felt like he was being reckless.

"Look, guys, I appreciate your concern. And I'm hearing you. Please believe me; I have _no_ intention of hurting Spencer. This situation between us is really new and I'd like an opportunity to see where this can go without the pressure of all my friends going over everything we do with a fine-tooth comb," Derek said as he looked between the three women.

"You care for him… _right_?" JJ asked as she looked at him seriously, blue eyes scanning his face. "And… you do _want_ to be with him, right? This isn't just a temporary fling?"

Derek felt his face heat again, but he swallowed down any urge to minimize or deflect, and held her gaze.

"Yes, I care for him a lot. Okay?" he admitted. "And…I would want to try to make a relationship with him work… if I can."

JJ smiled as she laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, eyes softening.

"That's all I need to hear. It'd be great if _Spencer_ could hear that too, you know? It never hurts to give someone a little reassurance. He's a smart kid, but I'm sure we've all picked up on the fact that he's maybe a little less adept in certain areas of social interactions. When someone like that gets all caught up in their head there's no telling what conclusions they'll come to on their own," she told Derek.

Derek laughed softly to himself.

"Yeah, I've had first-hand experience with that," he said.

"That's our little genius for ya," Garcia piped up, smiling brightly.

The tense atmosphere in the room quickly dissipated, with the four of them discussing the new development happily until Emily gasped loudly when a thought dawned on her.

"Shit! _Hotch_ doesn't know, right? What're you going to do about _that_?" she asked.

Derek grimaced, having been reminded yet again.

"My plan is to take it one step at a time, and hope that it doesn't come up today. I'll probably have a conversation with him once things settle down and I can get my feelings sorted out," he explained with a somewhat defeated shrug. "But I don't want to do that while Spencer's still here. If things go awry, I don't want Spencer to have to overhear anything. I don't want to ruin his trip."

The three women smiled at him sympathetically.

"That's definitely not a position I envy you for," JJ said, as she patted him on the shoulder again.

"Tell me about it," Derek said with a sigh.

* * *

It was approaching early afternoon by the time Hotch finally returned from his meeting with a number of the Bureau's leaders, including the BAU's section-chief, Erin Strauss. Upon hearing his updates from the meeting, the team had been thrown back into action. Hotch had told them that the brunt of the meeting had focused around whether the BAU should be allowed to keep the case, since it was clear that the Unsub was targeting _them,_ personally. However, Strauss had managed to convince her bosses that the BAU should be allowed to continue with their investigation by detailing to them how the team had been able to avoid any major dispersals of secure information and were currently using their profiling skills to determine which cases the hacker was most likely to target. According to Strauss, her team was highly capable and they were the only unit in the Bureau who had the slightest chance of containing the situation. While relating his story to the team, Hotch had admitted to them that he had been surprised to hear Strauss sing their praises as she had.

Thus, the team had felt compelled to live up to her high expectations, and even loftier promises. They knew that if they didn't solve this case—and ended up embarrassing Strauss—they would never hear the end of it. Since then, JJ and Emily had made significant progress through the list of suspects and were running down leads on a set of 15 names. All the men on the list ranged in age from 23 to 34, were considered almost savants in their fields, and all had been let go from their jobs within the last year because their level of skill or competence had been brought into question. Most-notably, however, were their pronounced—and _loud_ —internet presences.

Rossi and Derek had managed to sequester all the cases they thought could possibly have caught the Unsub's interest, and had, in the process, found a pattern amongst them—they were all cases with individuals who asserted their innocence, even those who had been convicted at trial. They had added to the profile that the man they were looking for most likely felt that he had been fired from his job because of a mistake that he was _not_ responsible for. And JJ and Emily had used that to help them narrow their list.

And Garcia and Spencer were squirreled away in her lair, continuing to work hard on a number of increasingly trickier riddles the Unsub was sending. As the hours of the day progressed, it became clear that the Unsub was getting frustrated. He wasn't sending them riddles specific to the _cases_ anymore. No. It seemed he had started taunting the 'riddle-cracker,'—who he did not know was _Spencer_ —trying to decipher where the FBI had recruited him from. Once they had caught on to how the Unsub had begun to decompensate, Hotch had originally been against letting Spencer handle those messages. However, the team had decided that while Spencer would be allowed to continue decoding, no _responses_ would be given to the Unsub's messages.

There was a twofold reasoning behind this. First, Hotch believed that the Unsub's messages—from his syntax to the speed with which he responded—could help them build their profile, by giving them hints as to what part of the country he was from, or something about his environment. They had already been able to determine from some of the words he used that he was most likely from the East Coast. And, secondly—and maybe most importantly—Hotch believed that if the Unsub's messages continued to go unanswered, he might become so frustrated that he would slip and reveal something tangible about himself. Hotch believed that this Unsub was so narcissistic that he probably wouldn't be able to _resist_ doing something like that, if he felt that someone at the FBI was besting him.

Things were going well, until Hotch received a phone call.

Sighing as he sat back in his office chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose, Hotch looked down to his cellphone. Frowning, he saw it was an unlisted number. He paused for a second before answering, something telling him that he wasn't going to like this call.

"Hotchner," he said, voice firm and unwavering.

"Put your team on the line, _Agent Hotchner_ ," a familiar voice said.

Hotch had only heard that voice once before—early this morning—but he immediately recognized it as their Unsub. Frowning, eyebrows lowered and mouth set into a grim line, Hotch gripped his phone tighter.

"What makes you think I'll do something like that? You have something to say, you say it to me," Hotch responded.

"Put your agents on the line or I go to the home of Marilyn Waters and I slit her throat. She's a lying whore anyway, based on the case I was reading. You believed her over her boyfriend and you sent him to prison instead. She's the real criminal, so if I go over there and put her down it'll just be like I'm cleaning up one of your messes," the man said.

Hotch's eyebrow rose. This message was short and to the point. The man seemed angry now—on edge. He wasn't speaking in a playful or teasing voice anymore. Hotch wasn't sure if this Unsub was really the type to _act_ on his threat—they hadn't profiled him as violent—but he wasn't about to take that chance. Hotch knew exactly what case the Unsub was referring to. And what Marilyn Waters had done had been an amazingly brave feat—she did not deserve for her life to be gambled just so Hotch could assert his positon of power over their Unsub.

Marilyn had been an abuse victim. Her boyfriend, Anthony Perkins, had subjected her to awful acts of torture almost daily. But he had even darker fantasies than the ones he acted out upon Marilyn and, knowing he could not hurt someone close to him—because he would be the first person suspected—he had hunted and killed four women over the course of eight months. Each of his victims looked exactly like Marilyn. Each of them had the same whip, cut, and burn patterns that marred Marilyn's body. And when they finally caught him—after following a lead which was based on merely circumstantial evidence—they had been able to secure his conviction by having Marilyn testify to the harm he had caused _her_. It had been enough to establish his modus operandi and convince the jury he had done the same things—only worse—to the four murdered women. Marilyn had been the only reason Perkins had gone to prison. Perkins had asserted his innocence. And still did to this day.

Cursing to himself, and hating being put in this position, Hotch forced himself to relax.

"Fine," he said brusquely. "Give me two minutes."

"Why, so you can attempt a trap-and-trace?" the Unsub asked, sounding bored. "I hope you know by now that I'm not stupid enough to let you track me that way. Even if you put your little technical analyst on it, she'll be chasing my signal as it bounces from Shanghai, to Montenegro, to Frankfurt, and back."

"No," Hotch answered, jaw tensing slightly. "I need time to gather my team."

"Whatever you say, Agent Hotchner. I'll wait. But don't keep me waiting _too_ long," the man said, a hard edge to his voice.

Hotch immediately put the call on mute as he shot to his feet. He quickly walked out of his office, eyes dropping down to the bullpen and landing on his team who were spread out among the desks.

"BAU team!" he called down to them, watching as the four heads shot up at attention. "Roundtable room, now!"

Not pausing to make sure they were following him, Hotch briskly walked into the roundtable room and dialed Garcia's extension on speed-dial. As the phone connected, he could hear the sounds of his team filing into the room and closing the door behind them, but he didn't bother to look up.

"Garcia," Hotch said as soon as she answered, placing the call on speakerphone. "I've got the Unsub calling into my phone. Can you do a trap-and-trace? He already taunted me that there would be no point because he's using some type of software that's aimed at sending you on a wild goose-chase. But he specifically mentioned _international_ cities, instead of American ones. We know he's domestically-based, so I'm wondering if there are any specific hacks that route calls through international servers. I'm thinking if you know what you're looking for it can cut down the time you'll need to chase him."

"That's a great idea, Hotch," Garcia said, excitedly. "Knowing that it's a program that projects a dummy location on to _only_ international cities weeds out about 40 of the homegrown programs I've seen, which should make my job a lot easier. But, I'll still need some time to work through the remaining programs. And hopefully it's one I've _heard_ of. So, as usual, please try to keep him on the line as long as you can."

"Will do, Garcia," Hotch said as he disengaged the call and finally looked up to meet the eyes of his teammates.

"So, as I'm sure you've been able to gather, I've got the Unsub on hold," Hotch said as he motioned to the phone in his hand. "I wouldn't normally let an Unsub demand to speak to us, and actually let him have his way, but he's threatened to physically harm Marilyn Waters, a victim in a case the BAU handled almost five years ago. And I don't feel like playing chicken with one of our victims' lives. We know he's threatened by us. And the fact that he's chosen to call in again—a decision that puts him at a disadvantage—shows he's getting desperate. So we'll let him talk and I want all of us to listen carefully. None of us will engage with him. No matter _what_ he says."

Hotch then looked around the room, pleased with the serious expressions and nods he received.

He then turned back to his phone, taking it off mute and placing it on speaker so everyone could hear.

"Well, Agent Hotchner, were you able to scramble to implement whatever meaningless protocols you think you'll be able to use against me? Does it make you feel more _secure_?" the voice taunted. "Well, I'm here to tell you that _nothing_ you have is 'secure.' I told you I know everything about _all_ of you. I know your deepest, darkest secrets."

The people in the room all exchanged looks, but everyone remained silent.

"Don't believe me? Well, how about I tell you a little about what _I_ know. Hmm? I'll start with David Rossi," the voice said.

As soon as his name was mentioned, Rossi looked toward the phone, his mouth turning down slightly in a frown, but no other reaction could be coaxed from him.

"David, David, David…" the man said, as if he was scolding him. "Or should I say, _Dave_ , huh? It must be nice being considered one of the godfathers of the BAU. You've really made quite the living off of telling your stories, haven't you? Selling book, after book, after book. Did you tell your coworkers about the _new_ one your editor wants you to work on, huh? How she asked you to write a book detailing the lives of your coworkers—the ups and downs of the life of a Special Agent? And did you tell them that you actually wrote back to her saying you'd _consider_ it? It must be nice for them to know that none of their secrets are safe with _you_."

Rossi's eyebrows lowered a bit in anger. He had no idea how the Unsub would know something like that, even though his information was, for the most part, _untrue_. He would never consider writing a book about his coworkers. He had told his editor as much. But she was a new editor assigned to him and didn't seem to be taking no for an answer. She had continued to pitch different ideas at him, and all had ultimately seemed like she wanted some reality TV show in book format. But she had been hounding him for an answer and he had quickly texted her back—'let me think about it'—just to shut her up. He had then sent an email to the publishing company, requesting she be removed from his editor-team. Rossi didn't _need_ to write books. And if he did write a book, it was going to be one he wrote because he _felt_ like it, not because some gossip-monger editor wanted something scintillating. But the Unsub didn't seem to know that part of it—or maybe he was purposefully only detailing the _negative_ parts.

Frowning, Rossi quickly wrote something down on a pad of paper and slid it across the desk to Hotch. When Hotch looked down at it, he frowned as well. The message read: _He's hacked our texts and emails_.

"Ooh, no answer, Dave? Huh? Too embarrassed that your teammates think you're going to sell them out? Well, it's not surprising. No one is ever really _satisfied_ after making a million. You always want _more_. But, hmm, who else on your team would be able to relate to that? How about you Emily?" the Unsub asked, the hard, yet gleeful tone of his voice putting the whole room on edge. "Did you tell your team that you've been accepting requests to talk about job offers from different departments? Huh? You've always been a lone wolf, haven't you, Emily? You pretend to fit in, but it's just until you can jump on the next opportunity, isn't it?"

Emily's eyebrows shot up, and the anger on her face was a bit more apparent. She frowned as she saw JJ glance at her with concern, and all she could do was shake her head in an attempt to refute the man's words. JJ smiled at her, clearly showing that that denial was good enough for her. But that didn't do anything to calm the burst of anger Emily felt roiling in her gut.

Yes, she had received a few texts and emails regarding whether she would be interested in taking a positon elsewhere. One had even come from Interpol. Apparently her success as a member of the BAU—along with her being well-known on account of her diplomat mother—had raised the interest of many influential people in the government. Over the past few months she had begun receiving the unwanted attempts to set up 'meetings' to talk about changes in her career plans. Emily wasn't interested in leaving the Bureau, but she also knew it was unwise to burn bridges by being so rude as to refuse to meet at all. So she had consented to meeting, but before the first sip of coffee could be taken she had politely explained that she loved working for the Bureau and did not see a change in the near future. However, she had also made sure to state that she was appreciative of—and humbled by—the interest in her, and would definitely reach out if she was ever looking for a change of position.

Hotch glanced over to Emily, seeing that she looked annoyed, but shook his head at her, reminding her not to react to the man's words. It was obvious the Unsub was baiting them. He was trying to find the one thing he could say that could cause one of them to snap—to show their weak point. And once he found it, there was no telling what he would do.

"Oh, no response from you Emily? Well, with a cold and power-hungry mother, I'm sure you had to learn to keep your feelings to yourself, right? The daughters of diplomats can't be caught having tantrums, now can they? So, you're no fun. Who would be more likely to get a bit… spunky? How about you, _JJ_ ," the man asked, and as soon as the name left his lips, JJ's body tensed.

"What's the matter, JJ? Huh? Your boyfriend, Will, has been trying to get you to agree to moving in together for the last four months, and you keep brushing him off. What's the problem? Commitment issues?" the man asked. "Or is it that you feel that if you commit to him he'll drag you down? That he'll want you to be some little housewife, who'll have his kids and won't want anything else for herself? Or are you the type who likes to keep love at bay? It must be hard to get close to people when you feel like everyone you love just leaves you. Like Rosaline did?"

JJ's eyes widened and her jaw dropped slightly. It was obvious the Unsub had been through her texts. But what was worse is that he had read the ones she had written to Garcia about _why_ she was hesitating with moving in with Will. Will had never expressed those feelings to her—in fact, _he_ had been the one who had offered to give up his job and move to D.C. for her—but that didn't change the fact that she was _afraid_. And the Unsub had obviously rifled through very personal files on her computer, as well, if he knew about her sister. _That_ was playing dirty. JJ hadn't told many people about her sister's suicide, albeit the team did know. What she had kept private— _very_ private—was that losing her sister like that had made her feel unwilling to fully invest herself in others. It had been something she had struggled with as a teenager, and Will had been the first person who had made her _want_ to try to do that again. She hadn't shared that—she had written it in a journal. On her home computer.

JJ gritted her teeth, feeling tears prickling at the corners of her eyes but stilled as she felt Emily grab her hand and squeeze. Taking a deep breath, JJ quickly scribbled a note on the pad in front of her and slid it to Hotch. It read: _He's hacked our home systems as well_.

Hotch frowned as he passed the two notepads around so that everyone was kept up to speed.

"You _are_ good, agents. Not a single one of you have cracked yet? Hmm… Well, I know the two of you who are most likely to 'bite' when provoked. Let's start with _you_ , Aaron," the Unsub said, the hint of playfulness gone from his voice.

"Unit-Chief Aaron Hotchner. I'm sure no one on the team knows you have been researching marriage counselors. Are things not going so well between you and the missus?" the man asked, feigning sympathy. "Is it because you don't want to have a _baby_? Huh, Aaron? Do you think you'll be as much as a screw-up as your father was? That the Hotchner men just can't do _anything_ right? Your brother Sean's smart, but he doesn't act on his potential. He bounces from job to job, hobby to hobby, trying to _find_ himself. Was it because, when he was alive, your dad tried to beat all sense of individuality out of you two? And, what about _you_ Aaron? People might think you came out alright. But this rigidity—this inability to break the rules or color outside the lines—well, aren't you really still following Daddy's orders?"

Hotch's hands tightened into fists on the table, but other than that he did not respond. He didn't even flinch. But he could tell that the other members of his team were trying not to make eye-contact with him. As if they could pretend they hadn't just been made privy to such personal parts of his life.

" _Impressive_ ," the Unsub said, and everyone could hear the sound of slow-clapping coming from across the phone. "Well, I can't really say I'm _surprised_ that the stalwart Aaron Hotchner didn't crack. So, I saved the Number One hothead for last."

Immediately, everyone turned to look at Derek and he couldn't help the flush he felt rising to his face. He wasn't embarrassed. No. He was _angry_. To think that the Unsub thought he was _so_ predictable that he would react the way he wanted—like some kind of puppet—was an insult. There was no way he was going to play into this guy's hands. But then Derek froze for a second, wondering _what_ exactly the Unusb had been able to discover about _him_. From what he could tell, the Unsub had only been rifling through the team's electronic communications. And it seemed to all be things that had happened fairly recently. Derek knew that none of _his_ deep-dark secrets could be found on any computer or hard-drive anywhere. And, other than that, there wasn't really much else he needed to keep from the team.

The Unsub sighed dramatically, as if he had a long list of dirty laundry to air, and Derek tensed, waiting to hear what this man was going to try to taunt him with.

"Derek Morgan...the team's resident playboy. How _do_ you get any work done when it seems all you want to do is rut like a dog in heat? It seems, judging by the messages they send multiple times a day, that your tech, Penelope Garcia, and Agent Morgan here have been in some kind of torrid affair," the voice said, mockingly. "Did you know that Agent Hotchner?"

Derek just rolled his eyes at the man's obvious misinformation, and couldn't help shrugging as he heard the soft chuckles from his teammates. His and Garcia's flirting was legendary, and he was somewhat glad that _that_ had been what their Unsub had used to threaten him with. It had helped to lighten the mood somewhat after the man's taunts towards Hotch. And it also helped that the Unsub's information was _untrue._ It made sense that he—not knowing Derek and Garcia in person—would read the lascivious and flirty texts to be _serious._ It showed that all he had done was observe the team's electronic communications, and nothing else. Derek felt almost relieved. But, then the man continued.

"But it seems Agent Morgan can't keep his attentions in one place for long. Or, I guess I mean… can't keep it in his _pants_ for long. Recently he's been busy flirting with someone _else_. A 'Spencer Reid.' Now isn't _that_ interesting? Judging by how suggestive these texts get, your team's designated 'ladies' man,' seems to be a 'man's man' as well," the voice said with a laugh.

And _that_ caused Derek to flinch, as a heavy silence descended upon the room. He couldn't help it as his eyes shot up to look at Hotch and he winced when he saw that his supervisor was looking right back at him. There was no misunderstanding the stern, dark look on the older man's face.

"Ooh, I feel like something in the… 'atmosphere' has changed. Has it? _Good._ I was _hoping_ that it would," the Unsub said with a maniacal-sounding laugh.

"I really wondered what kind of _guy_ could get your attention, Agent Morgan. I was quite curious. I thought I'd have to scour the internet to find him, thinking he must be something _quite_ special. But, low and behold, to my great surprise, I discovered that I already _had_ all the information I would ever need to know about him. And the reason for that? Well, it was because I had already _hacked_ it from one of your past case files. Because he was one of the _victims_ in a case your team solved earlier this year. Is _that_ the reward you got for a job well done, Agent Morgan? Did he _thank_ you for saving him by spreading his legs?"

Derek's eyes flashed angrily and he balled his hands into fists, ready to lash out—ready to take the bait. But then Rossi placed a hand on his arm, eyes serious as he shook his head. Derek gritted his teeth, fighting down his urge to lash out.

"And, _oh,_ you can only imagine how surprised I was when finally I connected the dots! That the person you've been having decode my riddles was some barely-grown _kid_ who used to strip for a living! You wouldn't hire someone like _me_ , but you hire some _whore_ who can do fancy tricks with numbers?" the Unsub said, voice rising with each word until he was almost screaming.

"That's _enough_ ," Hotch barked as he picked the phone up, effectively ending the Unsub's opportunity to further rattle his team and stalling Derek's knee-jerk reaction, which Hotch could clearly see was on the verge of bursting out as soon as the word 'whore' had left the Unsub's mouth.

"Enjoy this rush of power because soon… and I mean _soon_ , you're going to be behind bars. You've given us all we need to find you," Hotch almost growled into the phone. And then he hung up.

Silence descended upon the room as Hotch immediately dialed into Garcia's line.

"Anything?" he asked her, voice sounding strained and tired.

Garcia sighed.

"Well, what you suggested I do _was_ helpful in helping me avoid wasting precious time trying to filter through domestic versus international, but the program he used was still very sophisticated. I was only able to narrow it down to the D.C.-Maryland-Virginia area. You know, which is about 5500 miles and has a population of almost 10 million people. But at least you know he's _relatively_ close-by," she offered, apologetically.

"Thanks, Garcia," Hotch said. "We'll be in touch."

He then disengaged the call and looked up at the members of his team.

"Listen, none of us are going to talk about any of what was just said by the Unsub. Don't let any of it get to you. That's what he _wants_. He thinks if he gets in our heads that we'll mess up. What he doesn't know is that we're better than that," Hotch told them. "He's given himself away by pulling this little stunt. He's further affirmed our profile that he seeks recognition. We profiled him as someone who's probably been passed up and overlooked in his everyday life. As someone who sees himself as great, but no one else does. And he just told us that _we've_ rejected him before. Work with that, and we'll find him in no time."

The team nodded solemnly, but it was obvious they were all avoiding each other's eyes. Even with Hotch's words, it would still take a little time for them to shake off the discomfort of someone having broadcasted some of their most private information. It had been a personal violation. But they were all professionals. Soon, they would be back at their best.

Hotch quickly gave out instructions for what he wanted the team to do. He believed that the Unsub might not have actually applied for the _Bureau_ —instead he probably lumped all the departments of the government into one major entity that had wronged him—so he directed everyone to focus on picking through the suspect list to find anyone who had applied for any branch of the government and had been turned away. Hearing that JJ and Emily had 15 possible suspects left to investigate, Hotch wanted all hands on deck.

As everyone dispersed, Derek couldn't help but linger behind.

Glancing at him, Hotch only said, "I'm going to go speak to Garcia and see what she can do about re-routing the email, texts, and phone calls for Bureau employees. We know he was able to get into our personal information, but it's also possible that all Agents have been compromised. We can't afford to not have all our bases covered."

It was obvious to Derek that Hotch did not want to 'talk' about what had been said on the phone, but Derek couldn't allow himself to just let things lie as they were. When the Unsub had alluded to his relationship with Spencer it had been like a kick to the gut, and seeing the way Hotch had looked at him had made Derek realize he had gone about this entirely the wrong way. He didn't want to hide things from Hotch, and he knew that that was because the trust that was inherent in their team was so important to him.

"Hotch, I… About Spencer, listen..." Derek began before Hotch cut him off with a raised hand.

"Morgan, does anything you're about to say pertain to the case or how we can go about catching this Unsub?" he asked with an unreadable expression.

Derek hesitated for a second before shaking his head, 'no.'

"Then we don't need to discuss any of that right now. If you want to come talk to me after the case is finished, my door is always open. But, for the time being, focus on bringing this guy down," Hotch told him.

Swallowing, Derek nodded silently before turning and heading out the door. Derek hoped that they would find the Unsub soon, and he was also happy to know that the bastard was local, because _he_ wanted be the one to bring him in. This guy wasn't going to get away with thinking he could use such painful and private information against the members of the BAU, as if it was just a _game_. These people were like Derek's family, and no one was going to hurt them. And, if Derek was allowed to bring the guy in, well, he could foresee a rough take-down in his future, because no one was going to get away with talking about Spencer like that, either.

* * *

It took the team 40 minutes before Emily sat up straight in her seat and frantically waved the file in her hand.

"Rory Matthews!" she exclaimed. "I think it's Rory Matthews."

"Tell us why," Hotch said as he placed down the file he had been perusing, as the rest of the team turned towards her with anticipation.

"He's 28, graduated from MIT, and applied to the Department of Defense, Homeland Security _and_ the NSA within the last 5 years. He was rejected from all of them and recently had been working at a big technology startup. Apparently there was some error in coding a program and a project that had been under development for two years had to be completely scrapped. Matthews said the error was attributed to code from another programmer but _he_ was ultimately the one blamed for it and was given the boot. Since then, he's been spending his time online hacking up a storm. He made it into Garcia's suspect list because he had been rejected from three major hacking groups because he wasn't 'skilled' enough. It's like it's been one disappointment after another with this guy," she explained.

"He fits the profile," Hotch said, face stern. "Where's he located?"

Emily grinned as she pointed to the address on the paper.

"That's the beautiful part. Just 45 minutes away from here," she said.

* * *

Rory Matthews went down without a fight. When the FBI and the Virginia police stormed into his apartment, an hour after they had secured a warrant, they found him sitting in a bathrobe, dirty dishes piled up around him, face unshaven and a satisfied smirk on his lips. When he saw the members of the BAU he _grinned_ at them.

"I had you running around in circles for the _whole_ day. You saw what I could do. You saw how I could get into the darkest parts of you and _hurt_ you. You only caught me because I wanted to play. If I hadn't… if I had just destroyed you from the inside out, you wouldn't even have known what hit you! Wouldn't even have known it was _me_. But I _had_ to be known. I had to let them know—let them _all_ know—what I was capable of. That they made a mistake for rejecting me... And, you see? I'm going to be famous," Matthews had sneered at them as the handcuffs were being placed on him.

No one even spared him a glance when he complained that the cuffs were too tight.

Derek had volunteered to escort Matthews out to the police cruiser that was waiting down at the curb. And when he was asked how Matthews had acquired the huge welt on his forehead, that hadn't been there during the takedown, Derek had shrugged and said he had 'tripped' while getting into the police cruiser. No one asked anymore questions.

* * *

It was almost six o'clock when, standing outside of his office as he looked down into the bullpen, Rossi smiled as he watched Derek and Spencer walking towards the glass doors, surrounded by the three ladies of the BAU. His eyebrow rose with interest, and his smile widened, as he saw Derek unconsciously swing an arm over Spencer's shoulder and pull the younger man closer. Spencer smiled and laughed, obviously a bit embarrassed, but let Derek tuck him in close to his side. Rossi saw Garcia lean in and ruffle Spencer's hair, and listened as Emily laughed loudly at something the perky blonde had said.

When Hotch took the spot next to him, silently watching the carousing group, Rossi couldn't help but laugh.

"The kid's impressive, isn't he?" Rossi asked, knowing Hotch was listening.

Hotch hummed in response, and Rossi let out an amused sigh. Although they hadn't yet had a chance to talk about it, he knew Hotch was concerned about what to 'do' about what were seriously the indicators that something _intimate_ had developed between Derek and Spencer. Rossi knew that Hotch would rather take a 'see no evil' approach to this, and pretend like he hadn't heard what Matthews had insinuated about Derek's relationship with the young genius. However, even if Hotch could pretend to not have heard _that_ , Hotch would have to be blind if he wanted to pretend not to see the way Derek _looked_ at Spencer. So, Rossi was sure Hotch would have a difficult time determining what action to take now that he couldn't really avoid the 'elephant in the room'—so to speak—any longer.

"He could be a great asset to us one day," Rossi persisted, hoping to get Hotch to admit to Spencer's unique skills and obvious usefulness.

Hotch raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at Rossi.

"Dave, are you trying to butter me up towards Spencer?" Hotch asked. "I _know_ that kid's amazing. Everyone can see that. We probably wouldn't have been able to solve this case without him. He has a remarkable skillset. But that doesn't negate the… _other_ problems," Hotch said as he sighed.

"Hmm," Rossi said as he smiled ruefully. "That it does _not_. But, that, my friend is something you'll have to come to a conclusion on, on your own. And, believe me, I do not envy you that responsibility. But, I do want you to keep in mind that Spencer's a _genius_. And now that he's back in school, he's right on the track to being just the kind of person we need here. In a year or two, he could even be a new recruit."

Hotch gave Rossi a withering look, but ultimately shrugged his shoulders.

"To be honest, I would be remiss not to give my recommendation in support of him if he ever were to consider applying here. But, I can't overlook the fact that it'll just be 'messy' with the way that we met him, and now with all this going on with Derek..." Hotch said as he grimaced

"Well, it wouldn't be the _first_ time we recruited someone with a murky past. I mean, come on, Garcia's an everyday reminder of the fact that we take—and often sometimes _need_ —people with quite non-traditional backgrounds," Rossi said as he shrugged as well.

"And besides," he continued as he smiled at Hotch, "if Derek can be a little bit more… _discreet_ about what's going on between him and the kid, I think there really shouldn't be all that much to worry about. Believe me, I got away with 'fraternizing' with my colleagues for _years_ before anyone was any the wiser."

Rossi then winked at Hotch and Hotch couldn't help but roll his eyes as he shook his head. But Rossi could see the small telltale signs of a smile tugging at the corner of Hotch's lips.

"Come on, Aaron, let me treat you to a glass of my 30-year Scotch and we can talk about it," Rossi said as he clapped a hand on Hotch's shoulder.

Hotch sighed but he followed his friend anyway, as they walked back to his office. Working this out over a stiff drink sounded like as good of an idea as any at this point.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! A lot happened in just one chapter, but that's just how I like to roll, haha. So I hope it was fun for you guys.

With that said...drum roll, PLEASE…. Next chapter is **the LAST** chapter! D: Eek! Well, I'm excited that the end is approaching. I don't know if _you_ are! ;p I will (as always) try to do my best to tie up loose ends. I can promise you this, though (before anyone asks me ;p), there will definitely _not_ be a Pretty Boy: Part 3! Hahaha. It's been a great ride kids, but Mama's putting this one to bed.

 _ **xoxo**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

A/N: I'm gonna be ending it here you guys! I said it would be short (although, God, it's definitely almost 250 pages D:). Of course, there was much more depth I could've gone into with these two, but I hope at least where I've chosen to leave it you guys will feel like you have a much better understanding of where they'll end up. I hope you enjoy it!

Catch you on the other side!

xoxo

* * *

As Derek walked up the stairs to check on Spencer, he could see through the living room windows that it was just starting to get dark out. It was Saturday night. Spencer was set to leave on _Sunday_ night. Tonight would be their last night together, and both of them were very much aware of that.

Walking into his bedroom, Derek's eyes immediately fell on the form of Spencer kneeling next to his suitcase on the floor. Derek had tried, as best as he could, to take Spencer's mind off of his impending departure. He could tell that Spencer was trying to keep his spirits up, but every once in a while, when he would catch Spencer with his guard down, Derek could tell that the boy was sad—tangibly so. He wasn't talking a mile-a-minute as he usually did. He wasn't being as snarky or teasing as he used to be either. But that was to be expected. Neither one of them could ignore the fact that this was all coming to an end.

And last night, even the tone of their love-making had been affected by the sense that their time was running out. Just thinking about it, gave Derek a strange sense of nostalgia. It had felt so right. Like he had always been with Spencer, and like he could imagine being with him _forever_. Strangely enough, it was the first time they had done it completely missionary-style. Plain old, vanilla 'missionary.' But it had been one of the sweetest times yet. Almost as good as the first. Remembering, Derek felt a warm pulse of desire run through his body; not the hot-blooded spike of lust that usually overtook his mind and made him want nothing more than to push Spencer up against a hard surface and ravage him, but a genuine sense of _wanting_ Spencer, and wanting all of him:

 _Derek had gone slow—so slow. Most of their other bouts of love-making had been rushed. Like they couldn't wait to devour the other. Desperate touches and gasping breaths, that mounted and mounted until they both crashed over the edge. But, this time, Derek felt like he needed to take it slow._

 _He had stretched out their time together, teasing Spencer, bringing him to the brink and back again. He had kissed and licked every inch of Spencer's body, starting from his toes all the way up to the tip of his chin, before he had captured Spencer's lips, making him whimper and moan. Derek's hands had trailed all over Spencer's skin, until the boy's body was hot to the touch. And every time Spencer had gotten close to coming—so close that he had begged and pleaded—Derek had denied him. He had wanted it to_ _ **last**_ _._

 _And last it did._

 _Derek had made Spencer come twice before he had even considered entering him. By that point Spencer was a mess; all loose-limbs and shuddering flesh. And then, when Derek finally_ _ **did**_ _push inside, Spencer had gripped on to him tight, legs wrapped around his waist, hands grasping desperately across the span of Derek's back as if he didn't want to let him go._

 _Spencer had been so gone at that point. And as Derek had rocked against him, with slow and deep thrusts, he listened to Spencer babble nonsensically in his ear. Telling him he loved him, telling him how good it felt. And then, suddenly, Spencer was crying._

 _Derek had immediately stopped, thinking he had—somehow—hurt him. But Spencer had quickly wiped the tears away, laughing as if embarrassed at himself. He had tightened his arms around Derek's back, smiling up at him, hoping to encourage him to continue, and said he had been crying because he had been thinking of something 'stupid.'_

 _Derek had stared into his glistening, honey-colored eyes. And Derek knew—without him even needing to say it—that Spencer had been thinking of the fact that he would be leaving soon. So all Derek could do was kiss him. Long and hard. And take his breath away. He had wanted to obliterate those thoughts from Spencer's head. Because Derek hated thinking about them too._

Now, he was standing in the bedroom, watching Spencer pack, and it made those thoughts return to his mind with a vengeance. They had spent the earlier part of the day out, seeing a few of the last sights Spencer had been interested in, and had made sure to leave Spencer enough time to buy souvenirs. In about another hour or so, they were going to get dinner together, and meet up with the girls for dessert afterwards. As a final farewell to Spencer. Derek tried to ignore how that thought made his stomach clench unhappily.

Sighing, Derek silently watched on as Spencer tried to cram a mini-replica of the Lincoln Memorial into his small suitcase. Derek had told Spencer that he was probably buying too much, but Spencer had protested, listing all the people he needed to get things for. It had been a surprisingly long list seeing as how Derek knew Spencer wasn't all that social. His mother had been at the top of the list, which Derek hadn't been surprised about, but the list also included professors and advisers, and a few friends Spencer had met in the graduate programs at his school. Apparently, according to Spencer, grad students were the _only_ ones who didn't think he was some kind of freak.

Derek frowned as he continued to watch Spencer struggle with the suitcase. He could see the younger man was getting frustrated. But Derek could also tell that Spencer wasn't merely bothered because the contents of his suitcase now seemed to take up twice the space they had when he had first arrived. No, Spencer seemed to be frustrated about _other_ things.

"Kid…" Derek said as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

Spencer glanced over his shoulder, and gave Derek an annoyed look, as if he couldn't believe Derek was interrupting him. Derek probably would have laughed at the sight—Spencer's cheeks slightly flushed from exertion, and hair tumbling all over his face as if he had been wrestling with some giant instead of a mere suitcase—but he knew the situation called for seriousness, so he forced the amusing thoughts out of his mind.

"You wanna leave that alone for a minute and… you know, come over here and talk?" Derek offered as he patted the spot next to him on the neatly-made bed.

Spencer looked at him with confusion, an eyebrow arched curiously. But then Derek watched as realization dawned on the younger man's face and Spencer suddenly looked _nervous_. Derek couldn't say he knew _exactly_ what was going through Spencer's head, but he had his ideas. So he watched on as Spencer hesitantly got to his feet and made his way over to Derek.

Once Spencer settled down comfortably on the bed, a few inches between him and Derek, Derek reached over and grabbed his hand.

"So… you're leaving tomorrow," Derek began, as he searched Spencer's eyes.

But Spencer quickly looked away, shoulders going rigid and mouth lowering into a thin line.

"Yup… that has always been the plan," he responded, flatly.

"Kid, look at me," Derek said, tone serious.

Spencer looked up at him, but it was as if he was schooling his features. Trying to look unaffected, when Derek knew that that was far from the truth. Letting out a heavy sigh, Derek squeezed Spencer's hand.

"Don't do this. Don't shut me out and just decide for yourself how this conversation is going to go. Okay? I wouldn't ask you to _talk_ about this if I had already thought it was some kind of an open-and-shut case. Do you hear me?" he asked.

Spencer's face crumpled a bit, eyebrows furrowing and face taking on a more vulnerable look, but he didn't say anything in response to Derek's words.

"I told you I would think about… You know, think about _us_. And I have Spencer. I really have. I thought about how this whole thing is bigger than I ever thought I could deal with. How just the fact that I got involved with you has made me go against almost everything I ever thought I stood for. How it's made me question myself and face up to some things I'd rather not have ever dealt with. And how it's been stressing me out and how it probably always _will_. But, I also thought about the fact that the idea of you leaving me makes my stomach twist into all of these knots. How it makes me so anxious I'm almost sick to my stomach… And… This happened really fast for me, and I'm not kidding when I say I wasn't _prepared_ for it, but I don't want this to just be _it_. This _can't_ just be it," Derek stated.

As the words spilled from his mouth, Derek could feel Spencer's hand twitching within his own, as if the younger man didn't know what to do with himself. But Derek continued before Spencer could gather his thoughts to speak.

"Even though I realized I didn't want to let you go, I also had to think about… _how_ any of this could work. There were, and I imagine always will be, a _lot_ of obstacles to consider. But, first and foremost was the issue of the fact that, well… me being with you… everything I've _done_ with you, has completely gone against protocol. And that I absolutely went against everything that was expected of me as a Federal Agent. I didn't want to have to keep you as some dirty secret… as someone I could never be open about. So... I had to finally come clean to… well, my _boss_ ," Derek said as he looked at Spencer.

Spencer's eyes widened, looking almost horrified. And Derek just shook his head, almost feeling like he could laugh at Spencer's reaction. But, Derek _hadn't_ felt like laughing when he had spoken to Hotch on the phone this morning.

Remembering back to it, it had been probably the most awkward and humiliating conversation Derek had ever had:

" _Morgan?_ " _Hotch had asked once he answered the phone, sounding a bit less surprised about the call than Derek had been expecting._

 _It was a Saturday, and usually the team made sure to steer far clear of each other on the weekends, if they could help it. During the work week, they saw each other for 9-10 hours a day, and, if they were on a case, it was usually a lot longer than that._

" _Well...I can't say I'm exactly surprised by this call,_ " _Hotch had said after a pause. "But I had figured you'd wait a little longer to have this… particular 'talk.' So I'm proud of you for coming to me before I had to come to_ _ **you**_ _."_

 _Derek had cringed a bit at that, knowing that that probably_ _ **would've**_ _been the case…_ _ **if**_ _he wanted to avoid this. If he wanted to pretend like what had happened between him and Spencer never had. If Spencer was a_ _ **mistake**_ _, or something Derek was capable of giving up. But Spencer_ _ **wasn't**_ _that. And Derek now knew that he wanted to try to make things work with Spencer. If he wanted that—truly wanted that—he would have to surmount the first big obstacle, which was making sure he wasn't going to have to_ _ **pick**_ _between Spencer and his job._

" _Listen, Hotch," Derek had said, feeling like there were rocks in his throat, but forcing himself to get the words out. "I have to…come clean about some 'things.' Uh… I… Look, man, nothing went down like the way Matthews had said it did… but…some things_ _ **did**_ _happen. Between me and Spencer."_

 _There was silence over the line for a moment. And Derek was starkly reminded of the conversation he had had with Garcia only a few days earlier. It felt like déjà vu. The only difference here was that Hotch was_ _ **not**_ _his best-friend, and unlike Garcia, Hotch_ _ **did**_ _have the power to terminate him if he took issue with the things Derek was about to tell him._

" _Why don't you just tell me how it_ _ **did**_ ' _go down,' and we'll work from there," Hotch said, once the silence had gone on for long enough._

 _Swallowing, and steeling his nerves, Derek did just that._

" _I don't want to admit to this, but Spencer… well, there was an_ _ **attraction**_ _back in Vegas. While we were working the case, Spencer made it very clear to me that he… 'liked' me. And I knew I should've said something to you, or at least maybe distanced myself but… Well, I really wanted to protect the kid, and I initially thought he was just confused or something. I thought I could handle it. But… then things started to happen that made me realize that maybe he was more serious than I had first thought. I-I never did_ _ **anything**_ _with him during the case, though," Derek rushed to explain._

 _Hearing no response from Hotch, Derek took a deep breath before continuing._

" _But… but I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to him, too," Derek admitted. "That I_ _ **wanted**_ _to act on it, but I cared too much about the responsibilities of the job to do that. I never… I never really acted on anything between me and him until after Adrian Moore was put down."_

 _Derek finally heard Hotch respond in the form of a heavy sigh from across the line._

" _Do I want to know how_ _ **soon**_ _after Moore was dead that you 'acted' on your feelings?" Hotch asked._

 _And Derek cringed. He_ _ **knew**_ _Hotch had been looking at him funny when he got on the plane that morning, six months ago in Vegas, following the night he had spent with Spencer._

 _Derek swallowed uncomfortably before opening his mouth again._

" _I...I may have...crossed a few lines back when we were still in Vegas. But, I swear to you, Hotch, none of… none of what has been happening now_ _ **ever**_ _happened while the case was still active," Derek said._

" _And what exactly_ _ **is**_ _happening now, Morgan? I'm sure you can't fault me for having been surprised—to say the least—to see a past victim in one of our cases stroll into the BAU after having been told, by one of your teammates, that he had been spending his winter break here. With you. At your_ _ **house**_ _," Hotch said._

 _Derek wasn't sure how to read Hotch's words. Was he annoyed? Frustrated? Just tired? The older man's tone was indecipherable. And Derek started to wonder if maybe he should've just had this conversation in person. Seeing Hotch's face would've made this a bit easier to navigate. At least he would be able to tell how to steer the conversation based on Hotch's reactions. But what Hotch had said to him in the roundtable room while they were working on the hacker case had been gnawing at him and Derek knew he wouldn't be able to do this on Monday. Besides, Derek was still on break until after Christmas. He didn't know when next he'd be able to see his supervisor. So, this was just the way things were going to have to get done._

" _We… There are_ _ **feelings**_ _here, Hotch. I never knew this was going to happen. And believe me, I didn't_ _ **want**_ _for this to happen. And when Spencer asked me if he could come visit, and I offered to let him stay with me, I had completely thought it was going to be platonic—just friends. I thought we had left whatever we had had in Vegas_ _ **back**_ _in Vegas. But things didn't work out that way," Derek murmured._

 _"Apparently not," Hotch said._

 _And Derek didn't miss the sarcasm in his voice there._

" _I… I guess those feelings were still there. And we… Well, I'm not going to go into detail. But, the time we've spent together… Well, I think we're working toward a relationship, Hotch. Something real. I think I want to_ _ **be**_ _with this kid. And I knew I had to come clean to you. I know I shouldn't have hid it from you in the first place. But… well, I had no idea what I was doing and if it was going to go anywhere. I didn't know how to navigate this thing. And I was worried about pulling him down with me. So, I didn't want to say anything to you until I was sure. And now… now I think I'm pretty sure," Derek admitted, feeling like he was rushing through his words._

 _Hotch was silent again. Then Derek heard a heavy sigh._

" _Derek," Hotch said. "I'm not going to sugarcoat things with you here: this isn't 'good.' No matter how we'd like to see this, getting involved with Spencer was a…poor choice. It's going to make things hard for you. There's always going to be suspicion hanging over your head. Just like Matthews was able to find out about it, other people might, as well—and they might use it against you. Whether they use it to slander you and put your effectiveness and objectivity as an agent into question. Or, whether they use it to hurt_ _ **Spencer**_ _. His history is always going to be in our files. He'll always be one of our cases. If someone really wanted to find it, they could. That's going to always be a reality for you two."_

 _Hotch then let out a frustrated sound._

" _And, I'll always have to deny that I know anything about this. If it got out that I knew about this—and_ _ **how**_ _it started—well, my head would be on the chopping block too," Hotch continued, sounding as if the idea of it was already a major headache. "So, if I were_ _ **you**_ _, I'd make sure that no one finds out about any of the things you two 'did' with each other back when we were still working the case. And, I need plausible deniability, as well. So I'm not kidding when I say I do_ _**not**_ _want you to tell me anything else about what happened between you two in Vegas."_

" _Hotch, wait, are you saying…" Derek began, eyes widening._

" _What? You expect me to fire you? I can't say I'm pleased with how you acted. And it's probably in your best interest that you're already on vacation because I think if I had to have this conversation with you face-to-face I wouldn't be so relaxed. But, even though you do stupid—and I mean_ _ **stupid—**_ _things sometimes, Derek, you're still one of the best agents the Bureau has to offer and you're an integral part of our team. I'm not willing to lose you over something like this," Hotch said._

 _Then Derek heard Hotch let out a long sigh._

" _And... I guess if you two reconnected some time after the case, well… it's definitely not preferred, but I can't exactly say that there's anything in the rule books_ _**against**_ _that. So, I'd have no real reason to fire you...if we stick with_ _ **that**_ _story," Hotch suggested._

 _Derek was so shocked—and truthfully,_ _ **relieved—**_ _that he felt like he could kiss Hotch. But he wasn't going to tell him that. He highly doubted Hotch would appreciate it._

" _But, Morgan," Hotch said, voice returning to its detached supervisory-tone. "There still has to be some repercussions for this. You'll be put on desk-duty for two weeks when you return from vacation."_

 _Derek had to hold back his grin. Sure, he hated desk-duty. For such a hands-on, active person, the highlight of his job was being in the field and chasing down Unsubs. But, right now, Derek would take sitting on his ass and doing paper work any day if it meant he wasn't getting demoted or downright fired after the stunt he pulled._

" _No problem. I totally understand," Derek said._

 _And, then, after a pause, he said,_ " _Thanks, Hotch… Seriously, man._ "

" _Best of luck, Morgan," was all Hotch said before he hung up._

Hearing that story, Spencer's eyes were still as wide as saucers. But he was also blushing up to his roots, knowing that now Derek's boss knew all about them.

"So," Derek continued, feeling like his own face was on fire. "I meant it… I absolutely meant it when I said I want to see if something can work between us. But, I mean, kid, we also gotta be realistic here. It's already an uphill battle. What, with you being in school all the way in Vegas, and me… well, having the kind of job that means I'm barely ever in the same _state_ in any given week. I… Those are some of the reasons why I was so against trying to do this relationship thing. It'll be so hard, especially because it's so new. We'd be apart more often than we'd be together. Is that really something you think you can deal with?"

Looking at how the prospect of being so far apart made Derek seem so dejected—defeated even—Spencer felt a mixture of anxiety and anticipation churning in his stomach. He had an idea, but he wasn't sure how Derek would respond to it. But hearing how Derek had admitted to his boss that there was something serious _between_ them, and believing that Derek really seemed like he wanted to try to make a relationship work, Spencer felt a bit emboldened.

"Um… I have a slight confession to make," Spencer said, cheeks reddening into a blush. "I wasn't going to say anything at first… I didn't know if I _should_ say anything…"

Derek looked at him expectantly, eyebrow raised, wondering where exactly Spencer was going with this.

"I… I actually _don't_ have any more school left. Well, not of my bachelor's that is," Spencer said.

Derek looked at him with surprise.

"I mean, I only had one semester left when I dropped out back when I was 15. When I started school again, they were able to get me into all the classes that I would need to graduate. And since I did that—and _more_ —in the time since I've been back, technically I'm set to receive my degree. Um… but, my plan was always to get a PhD, as well, and I had already been accepted into my college's program back before… well, all those _things_ that happened when I was younger," Spencer said as he frowned a bit. "And…and since I came back and proved myself to still be at the same level, my school re-extended me the offer to start a PhD there as well."

Derek blinked in surprise, trying to process all the information. Smiling confusedly—and somewhat awed by Spencer—Derek could only offer words of congratulations. That was _great_ for Spencer, but Derek could only see that meaning Spencer would be stuck in school—in _Las Vegas_ —for at least another 5 or so _years_.

Seeing Derek's confusion, Spencer forced himself to go on.

"Well, I… Even though my school in Vegas already told me they'd accept me into their PhD program, I still ended up applying to _other_ schools as well. Just to see if I could get in."

Derek continued to look at Spencer, apparently still not quite following.

"And all of those schools were either in D.C., Maryland or Virginia," Spencer admitted, face flushing hotly.

And then Derek understood what Spencer had been saying. Spencer had applied to schools near _him_. And, Derek could only imagine that Spencer would have had to have done this _months_ before (if Derek remembered correctly how the application process went). That meant that Spencer, before even knowing if Derek would have agreed to let him visit him, and without knowing that anything would have been rekindled between them, had still been thinking about him. Had still _wanted_ something with him.

"Spencer…" Derek breathed. "You did that for _me_?"

Spencer blushed, and wouldn't meet Derek's eyes.

"Well, not just for _you_ ," he tried to explain. "I mean, they're really great schools. They have amazing Engineering and Mathematics departments. I'd like to do a double-doctorate, and some of the schools I got into already told me that they'd be willing to let me do that…"

"You got _in_ already?" Derek asked, cutting him off.

Spencer looked up at him, with a matter-of-fact look.

"Well, of course I did," he said, looking confused. "I _am_ a genius, after all."

Derek couldn't help but laugh at that as he reached out and wrapped Spencer up into a hug.

"Wait…" Derek said as he pulled back. "So when you told me you wanted to visit schools…?"

Spencer laughed, cheeks reddening again.

"Yeah, I figured it'd be good to actually see some of the campuses to help me decide if I was going to accept an offer or not," he admitted.

Derek felt his lips turning up into a smile again—so happy for Spencer, and so proud—but then he felt a niggling sense of doubt in the back of his mind. He didn't know if it was _okay_ for Spencer to make these types of decisions when it seemed clear, to Derek, that Spencer was using _him_ as the major deciding factor. That Spencer's choice would rest solely on the fact that he wanted to be closer to _him_. Derek didn't want to think that Spencer was giving anything up just to be with him. This was a big decision, and Spencer had a bright future ahead of him. So Derek wanted to make sure that he was making the _right_ choice.

"Spencer," Derek said seriously as he placed his hands on Spencer's shoulder. "Kid, I don't want you to make a decision like this just because _I'm_ here. You… you have a lot of things going on for you over in Vegas. You'd be giving up so much by doing this. Would you really be okay just picking up and moving out here… For _me_? I mean, this thing between us _just_ started, kid. What if… what if things don't work out and you're stuck over here?"

Spencer's eyes widened slightly and he bit his lip, as if suddenly sobered by Derek's words.

"Derek…I don't feel like I'd be 'giving anything up' to come out here. I mean, I did research the schools thoroughly. I can do the same and more if I came over to the East Coast. And, besides, I've started to put some thought into the type of job I'd like to do once I graduate, and being over here will give me a lot better access to making that goal a reality," Spencer said, somewhat cryptically.

But Derek's mind was elsewhere as he forged on with his objections.

"You wouldn't be giving anything up, huh? What about your mother, Spencer? Do you still go see her every week? How would you feel to know you were almost 2500 miles away from her?" Derek asked seriously.

Spencer's face fell slightly, but he still managed a small smile.

"I already talked to my mom about it, actually," Spencer said as he looked at Derek. "She's the one who told me I _should_ apply to schools out of state."

Derek gave him a look of surprise, not expecting to hear that.

Spencer sighed, somewhat wistfully.

"You're right, though, Derek. My mom… she really was the only thing keeping me in Vegas. I hated the thought of being apart from her. I thought she really needed me. But, lately, she's been doing a lot better. She's taking her medication and her doctors have given me really great evaluations of her progress," Spencer said as he smiled at Derek, although his eyes had started looking a little teary. Derek suspected that they were more tears of happiness than anything else.

"And knowing that, I felt I could finally relax a little bit," Spencer continued. "And then I had this idea… this little thought in the back of my head a few weeks after the case was over. I was tired of being afraid; tired of feeling trapped. Everything bad that had ever happened to me, had happened to me _there._ So I started thinking, maybe it'd be okay for me to… branch out. But I _was_ scared about it at the same time. I had never been more than a few miles away from where I grew up. Even though my life there had been shitty at least it was _familiar_."

Derek watched Spencer grimace slightly, as if he had been reminded about what those 'shitty' things were, but he shook them off and continued on.

"So, even though I had that idea… well, I still felt it was just some hopeless fantasy. And when I mentioned it off-handedly to my mom during one of my visits…well, _she_ was the one who said I should go. She told me that she hated the fact that I was staying for her. And even though I tried to deny it, she told me she _knew_ that she was the only thing keeping me there. And when I said that I would miss her and that I cherished our time together when I could visit her, she told me that nothing would change, even if I couldn't visit as often. That she would still be able to hear about my days—or my 'adventures' as she says—if I called or wrote her. She said she wanted me to finally feel free to go out and try new things; to be happy," Spencer said, as he smiled. "And I thought… I thought maybe being _here_ would make me happy."

Derek looked at Spencer with awe. It was as if there were unspoken words hanging in the air. As if Spencer had meant to say 'being here _with you_ would make me happy.' Derek had never been with anyone who seemed to adore him as much as Spencer did. And while it made Derek's heart feel so full he thought it would burst, he also felt overwhelmingly anxious. As if he didn't want to disappoint Spencer. Like he didn't want Spencer to find out that he wasn't as great as the younger man thought he was.

"Spencer," Derek murmured as he reached out to hold Spencer's hand again. "Are you really sure about all this? Of course, if I could have you close by, I would want that more than you being all the way across the country. But, well…there's no guarantees here. What happens if we fight? Or, what happens if, after a few months, all the warm-and-fuzzy glow wears off and you start to see things about me that you don't like? You won't regret it then?"

Spencer blinked at Derek in surprise. It pained him that Derek thought that _he_ would be the one that would drive Spencer away. As if Derek wanted to save Spencer from him before it was too late. Spencer suddenly realized that, while he had been worrying all this time that Derek didn't want to be with him because Derek didn't think Spencer was worth it, the truth of the matter was that _Derek_ didn't think he was good enough for _Spencer_.

"Derek..." Spencer whispered as he scooted closer, moving so his hands cupped Derek's face. "Derek, I don't think I would ever think those things."

Spencer saw the way Derek's face clouded, and his eyebrows lowered, knowing that Derek was immediately going to retort with a hard dose of 'realism.' But Spencer was faster than him.

"I _understand_ what you're saying, Derek. I'm not so naïve to think that relationships are rainbows and butterflies all the time. I know that they're hard work. And that sometimes we'll fight and won't see eye-to-eye. Sometimes we'll probably even hate each other. But the statistics show that most people still choose to be in relationships, even knowing all this. So I can only conclude that if two people are meant to be together, then the good times will often outweigh the bad. I know that it'll be hard and maybe sometimes I'll feel hurt, but I also know that I feel amazing when I'm _with_ you. And so I want to try this. I want to take that _chance_ with you," Spencer explained.

"Besides, I _know_ this is still brand new. I still have time to decide when I get back to Vegas because I don't have to give any of the schools an answer until late March or early April. And when I go back, I'll spend the off-semester doing research in advance of starting my program. So… I've thought it all out. That could all be time that I can use to decide if this is what I really want. I mean, right now I _really_ really want it. And I think I could make it work," Spencer said determinedly.

"I already know that if I were to accept any of the offers from the schools over here that I wouldn't move in with you or anything like that… A-And I'm not saying you'd _offer_ that, either! But, even if you did, I'd find my own apartment or I'd stay on campus. I mean, I _would_ still be a student, first and foremost. I think if I stayed here all the time I'd get too… 'distracted' by you to focus on my schoolwork," Spencer admitted with a blush.

Derek almost couldn't hold back his laughter. He had probably created a monster in Spencer Reid. The boy had come here almost two weeks ago a _virgin_ , and now Spencer seemed to have nothing but sex on the brain. Spencer probably _was_ right, though; he wouldn't get any work done if they lived together. Derek personally knew that he found it hard to keep himself controlled when he was around Spencer, and knew that he would probably take advantage of every opportunity to be with him if Spencer made them available. But, Derek would've agreed in any case that school should come first. He had never seen Spencer in an academic setting, but he could tell that Spencer was excited about it; almost as if it gave him great pleasure. And so he found it funny that Spencer had _already_ decided he was going to put school before him. He wouldn't expect any less from Spencer Reid.

Smiling softly, Derek looked at Spencer. He tried to read the younger man's eyes. He knew Spencer was looking forward to this, and that Spencer seemed to think he had everything figured out. Derek wished he could throw all caution to the wind as well—and just ignore all his misgivings—but he still felt like this all seemed too good to be true. As if it was hard to believe that this could really work for them, as easily as that. He needed further reassurance from Spencer.

"I just… I just need to know you're absolutely sure before I can sign off on this. I promised… uh… _someone_ that I wouldn't hold you back," Derek said, eyes dropping down to his lap.

Spencer's face flushed hotly at Derek's words and he wondered, ' _Who has he been talking to about_ _ **us**_?'

"S-Someone…? Like who?" Spencer asked.

"Oh, Garcia," Derek clarified.

"She _knows_?" Spencer asked in shock. "And, oh _God,_ do J.J and Emily know too? Have they _all_ known all this time?"

Derek watched as the kid's face got darker and darker as he blushed in his embarrassment.

"Wait, wait, wait," Derek said, trying to calm him down. "I have to admit, I did tell Garcia. And, well she's my best friend, kid. There's no way I could've kept that from her for too long. I needed to talk to her because I needed help with this. I didn't know what I was doing and I wanted to make sure I did my best to do right by you. And the first time I told her was only a few days ago. It was after our… you know, _fight_. So, I really needed some intervention there."

Spencer frowned a bit, having been reminded about the very recent argument, but tried to calm himself down.

"A-and what does she think?" he asked, as he bit his lip.

"About what?" Derek asked, confused.

Spencer blushed and sighed, as he gave Derek an exasperated look.

"You know. About this. About _us_ ," Spencer explained.

"Well, she hated it at first," Derek admitted with a shrug.

Spencer's face immediately broke into a stricken expression and Derek scrambled to clarify.

"No, no! Not because of _you_ , kid. Garcia adores you and thinks you're the best thing since sliced-cheese. She was mad at _me_. Basically, she was concerned because she didn't want me to hurt you," Derek said looking at Spencer with concern. "She was really just looking out for you."

"Hurt me?" Spencer asked in confusion.

Derek then looked down, feeling slightly ashamed of himself.

"I'm sure this isn't news, based on the content of our last argument, but, I… don't have a great track record when it comes to relationships. Ah… if you can even call what I've had with the people in my past 'relationships.' And all my friends know this. They know that I run away from stuff like this, and I'm a no-strings-attached kind of guy. Or… I mean I _was_ ," Derek said as he held Spencer's eyes looking at him meaningfully. "Kid, I would never want to do something like that to you. But, Garcia, well, she knows me… or knows the guy I used to be, and she warned me not to hurt you and…not to get involved if I wasn't serious."

"So...um...are you?" Spencer asked as he looked down, blushing.

"What?" Derek asked.

" _Serious_?" Spencer asked softly. "You seem so… hesitant about all this, I just don't know..."

Derek paused for a moment as he looked at Spencer. It pained him that the boy still had to ask questions like that. Derek knew why that was—and that he had made it that way—but he had hoped that what he had told him earlier would have helped to give Spencer a bit more confidence. That he would get what Derek was hoping to convey. However, Derek also understood that it would be far more meaningful for Spencer to _hear_ him say it.

"Spencer… I'm _serious_. I'm so serious, kid. More than anything. But I just want to give you your freedom, you know? And not make you feel like you're locked into anything. I want you to process your feelings," Derek said.

Spencer was smiling at him, although he looked perplexed.

"Derek, I _have_ processed my feelings. I flew across the country to see you. What makes you think I want something different?" Spencer asked.

Derek looked at him curiously.

"You don't think you needed to process some 'feelings' after having sex for the first time?" Derek asked bluntly.

Spencer blushed hotly and looked away.

"Things are moving fast between us," Derek said, saving Spencer from having to speak. "And while I love everything we've done together, it really only has been a couple of _days_ Spencer. I'm just saying that this is new and while we can do this, we have to be careful to go slow."

Spencer frowned at him, and Derek sighed as he pulled Spencer closer to him, enveloping him in his arms. It seemed Spencer believed he was still trying to run away.

"I'm not going _anywhere_. I'll be whatever you need me to be. Whether you want me all over you, or you want me to keep my distance, kid. I just want to do whatever will make you happy. I'd wait for you if you need to think about it. So you don't have to rush anything. You just have to feel it out, ok?"

Spencer nodded, squeezing Derek tight.

"Okay," Spencer said with a smile. "I'm fine with that. I like the way that sounds. And… well, even though I don't know if I love the fact that Garcia _knew_ about all of this before I had even met her, I understand why you told her. I understand needing to have someone to talk to about it. We're not exactly… 'traditional.'"

Derek watched as Spencer laughed somewhat self-consciously.

"But… no one else knows right?" he asked.

Derek cringed a bit.

"Well...at this point, _everyone_ kind of knows," Derek admitted.

Spencer's eyebrows shot up again and Derek watched as he took on the look of a tomato.

"Believe me, I did _not_ go around running my mouth. Rossi pretty much knew what was up back when we were in Vegas. Apparently you kept on making eyes at me," Derek said as he smiled at him teasingly. "And I guess I didn't do such a great job at hiding my… 'interest' either."

Spencer blushed, but Derek could tell he had liked hearing the admission.

"And the girls...well, they only found out about it yesterday at the Bureau, although I told them to play dumb about it for the time being," Derek confessed as he watched Spencer's shocked reaction.

He knew Spencer was closest to Emily and JJ, and he wasn't quite sure how he would feel knowing that they had found out without telling them himself.

"But, hey, apparently _you_ had been talking to them about some mystery guy you were interested in since back in Vegas!" Derek said, with his eyebrow raised, pretending to chastise Spencer, although he wasn't upset about it anymore. "It wouldn't have taken _too_ long for profilers to put two and two together."

Spencer looked down at his hands and shrugged sheepishly.

"Yeah...I guess I could have expected that. But, I tried to be really careful, Derek. I swear. I just… Well, just like you, _I_ needed someone to talk to," Spencer said with a pout.

Derek laughed.

"Kid, trust me, I'm really not bothered. To be honest, it was kind of Garcia who let it slip to them at first, and I guess the other pieces of the puzzle just fell into place. And, I don't resent the fact that you talked to them. The girls handed me my ass on a platter after they found out and that whole experience, well, it kind of… helped me see things from another perspective. I realized that I was too much in my own head. I was going through this struggle but I wasn't filling you in, and you were getting dragged along with me for no good reason. I realize I have to say what I'm feeling to you, or you'll never know," Derek said with a determined smile.

Spencer smiled back, eyes lighting up.

"I think that's a good idea," he said, laughing. "I know it might not be easy with me. _I_ also let myself overthink things, and well… my mind really does go off on its own winding paths when I'm anxious about something, so sometimes it's good to hear these things. It helps to keep me grounded."

"Yeah, I've started to see that," Derek said as he pulled Spencer in close again.

He kissed him lightly on the temple and Spencer sighed softly.

"So... That's it? W-we're doing this…? Are we, like… you know? _Dating_?" Spencer asked, blushing, face pressed up against Derek's chest.

"Yeah," Derek said, deep voice rumbling in his chest and making Spencer tremble. "At this point, I kind of don't even think we have a choice. It's not like I'm gonna be able to just let you go after all of this. No matter what we're up against, we're gonna try to make this work."

Spencer's grin was almost uncontrollable as he looked up at Derek. Unable to help himself, Derek swooped down and caught Spencer's lips with his own. And soon Spencer let out a satisfied moan. When Derek finally pulled away, they both smiled at each other before laughing.

"That feels so good," Spencer said with a sigh of relief as Derek released his grip on him.

"You don't need to keep complimenting me on my skills, Pretty Boy," Derek said with a wink. "I know I'm good at what I do."

Spencer laughed as he blushed up to his ears.

"I meant it feels good to finally know we're really going to try to do this. A _relationship_ , I mean," Spencer explained, giving Derek a mildly exasperated look. "But, the kiss was good too."

He then winked at Derek and Derek couldn't deny how especially sexy he found that. He suddenly couldn't wait for the next time Spencer had an opportunity to wink at him like that. He kind of liked the way 'mischievous' looked on the kid.

Laughing to himself, Spencer then turned and crouched back down to his suitcase, resuming his attempt to finish packing although seeming much happier about it now that the weight of 'what happens after I leave' was no longer hanging over his head. Derek looked down at the suitcase, still feeling somewhat bothered that it meant that Spencer was going to be getting on a plane in 24 hours. It helped that he knew that that didn't mean he'd never see or hear from Spencer again. But Derek didn't quite know _when_ the next time he would see Spencer would be. And suddenly, Derek wasn't exactly sure that he wanted this trip to end so soon.

"Hey, kid," Derek said from behind him.

Spencer turned around with a smile still on his face, looking at Derek inquisitively.

"What're you doing for Christmas?"

Spencer blinked in confusion as he stopped what he was doing. He turned around to face Derek, sitting down on the carpet by his bag.

"Hmm...well, I don't usually celebrate Christmas. Usually I just spend it with my mom at Bennington. But every year they offer to take any of the residents who aren't able to go home with family over the Holidays on an off-site trip. This year it's the Grand Canyon, and my mom told me she signed up," Spencer said smiling softly. "So… I actually hadn't really thought about it, but I guess I'm not really doing _anything_ for Christmas this year."

He then shrugged his shoulders as if that didn't bother him. But, Derek hadn't liked hearing that Spencer would be alone on Christmas, and it helped to solidify the impulsive thought that had suddenly jumped into his mind.

"You know I told you I'm leaving on Monday to fly out to spend Christmas with my mom and sisters. If you're not doing anything, and you don't have to be back for school reasons, why don't you just _come_ with me?" Derek offered, smiling widely.

Spencer's eyes widened, and he stared at Derek, lips parted in surprise.

"Wh... _what_?" he asked.

Derek laughed.

"I'm serious. If you don't have to be back immediately, we can just change your ticket back to Vegas to about a week from now. And I'll buy you a ticket to come spend Christmas with the Morgans in Chicago. My mom goes all out with the decorations, and makes us sing Christmas carols and watch Holiday movies. She makes the best Christmas dinner and there'll be tons of desserts. And, don't worry about meeting her; she really loves meeting new people and taking care of them. It's kind of her thing. It might all be embarrassing for _me_ , but I'm sure you'll have a good time. And, believe me, it'll give me a good reason to convince my mother that I don't have to stay at the house this year. Really, you'd be doing me a _favor_ by coming," Derek explained, smiling.

Spencer still looked like a blowfish as he stared at Derek.

"Um…I'd be meeting your family…and your _mother_?" Spencer asked, trying to make sure he had heard correctly.

Derek paused, understating Spencer's hesitance.

"Well...we would have to tell her we're just friends for right now. I'm not sure she'd care either way, but I still want us to take things slow, so 'meeting my mom' as my…I guess 'boyfriend' right now, is probably something we don't want to do so soon. But… still, that's no reason why you can't come with me. You'll have a really good time, kid. I can take you around, show you where I grew up, and I'll get you all the sweets you want. It's just… it's rare that I have this much time off and suddenly I just want to spend all that time with _you_ ," Derek said, smiling sheepishly and hoping Spencer would agree.

Spencer's face burned at Derek's words, and he felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Spencer had always been a crybaby when he was younger, but he had worked hard to grow out of that. But Derek… Derek was always able to so easily get his emotions all worked up. He had been the only one able to do that in _years_. For such a long time, Spencer had forced himself to be hardened against the influence of other people; whether they were positive or negative. He assumed everyone would disappoint him sooner or later, and had always told himself it'd be better to keep everyone far away to protect himself from the chance of getting hurt. But, with Derek, Spencer found himself allowing himself to be vulnerable. He allowed himself to _feel_. And, so far, he was immeasurably thankful to Derek for being able to bring that out in him. Somehow the older man had wormed himself into the smallest, darkest part of Spencer and had broken the cage around his heart.

"Derek...you...you really mean that? That that's okay…? For me to go with you and be with your family?" Spencer asked, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat.

"Of course I do, kid," Derek said as he kneeled down next to Spencer, seeing that the younger man was clearly starting to get emotional.

He reached out and brought Spencer into his arms, squeezing him tight.

"I would be so happy if you'd spend Christmas with me," Derek breathed into his ear. "What do you say?"

"Okay, Derek. Okay," Spencer said, still tucked against Derek's chest. "Of course… if you're okay with me coming, I'll definitely come."

Derek pulled back and smiled down at him. He could see the obvious tears in Spencer's eyes, but he just brushed them away. He quickly pecked Spencer's lips, causing Spencer to smile too.

"Come on," Derek said as he patted Spencer on the thigh and started pulling him to his feet. "We need to make a stop before we go to dinner."

Spencer's brows furrowed in confusion.

"What for?" he asked.

"Well, if you're going to be coming with me to Chicago, I'm definitely going to need to buy you a thicker coat. Winter over there is no joke, and I don't need a Pretty Boy Popsicle," Derek teased.

Spencer laughed, as he let Derek lead him out the room and down the stairs.

"It'll be my first time going to Chicago. First time celebrating Christmas with a big family. And my first time going on a trip with my… 'boyfriend,'" Spencer said with a bright smile. "A lot of first _every things_ … I'm looking forward to a lot more of those with you."

Liking the sound of that, all Derek could do was smile back as he kissed him.

* * *

A/N: That's all she wrote, guys! Thanks so much for all the support and for sticking with me through this whole story (parts 1 AND 2! :3). This is the 'end' of the story for Spencer and Derek in the Pretty Boy 'universe,' but I hope it gives the impression that their story really isn't over for _them_. And that they still have a future in front of them. And while I have no intention of extending this series, I definitely see great things for them! I hope you enjoyed their story, because I enjoyed writing it! Please let me know your thoughts!

Lastly, I rushed to get this story completed and posted because I wanted to finish it before the first day of classes. As for if there's anything 'coming up' for me, writing-wise, until I get acclimated to my schedule/demands of school, I have no idea if/when I can start a new story. _But_ I may try to work on something if I do have some time. Please keep an ear out, in case I do! You have all been perfect and wonderful, and thank you for welcoming me so kindly in to the Criminal Minds fandom!

Until we meet again,

xoxo


End file.
